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(Miami New Times) Weeners Rep. Matt Gaetz is mad about Parkland victim father's artwork. No word on how he feels about getting kicked out of Subby's bar in 2005/06, and having his nuts curb stomped by subby in the process. Short story to the right   (miaminewtimes.com) divider line
    More: Weeners, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Parkland dad Manuel Oliver, Marjory Stoneman Douglas, art exhibit, U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz, Deer, country painting murals, United States House Committee on the Judiciary  
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3377 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Apr 2019 at 8:56 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2019-04-29 6:37:11 PM  
In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.
 
2019-04-29 6:47:24 PM  
I call bullshiat. Matt Gaetz has no dick.

/Well that's what I heard!
 
2019-04-29 6:49:08 PM  
I've said a lot of embarrassing things while drunk, but if one of them was "don't you know who my _____ is?" I'd never forgive myself.
 
2019-04-29 6:53:56 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.



Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.
 
2019-04-29 6:55:12 PM  
Marvel: Infinity war is the most ambitious crossover event in history

Me:

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.

 
2019-04-29 7:00:18 PM  

Spectrum: I call bullshiat. Matt Gaetz has no dick.

/Well that's what I heard!


Maybe he doesn't.  Maybe my right foot has something to do with that
 
2019-04-29 7:01:30 PM  

Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.


Williamsburg, VA
 
2019-04-29 7:02:28 PM  

Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.


Definitely not Gainesville if it was "one of three bars".
 
2019-04-29 7:17:36 PM  

His Mexcellency: Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.

Williamsburg, VA


Checks out.

You need to send this to Matthew Gertz (he gets twits meant for Gaetz and might enjoy reading it).
 
2019-04-29 7:38:38 PM  

Sliding Carp: His Mexcellency: Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.

Williamsburg, VA

Checks out.

You need to send this to Matthew Gertz (he gets twits meant for Gaetz and might enjoy reading it).


Nah. People should just randomly bring it up though.
 
2019-04-29 7:39:09 PM  

Sliding Carp: His Mexcellency: Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.

Williamsburg, VA

Checks out.

You need to send this to Matthew Gertz (he gets twits meant for Gaetz and might enjoy reading it).


Oops. I see why he gets his tweets.
 
2019-04-29 7:39:53 PM  
I'm just here to upvote, smart, funny, and hope that some media outlet picks this up ...
 
2019-04-29 8:21:28 PM  
Subby is my hero. Never pass on the chance to stomp the shiat out of an asshole.
 
2019-04-29 8:59:53 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


You're doing gods work.
 
2019-04-29 9:01:08 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


And now you know...the rest of the story.
 
2019-04-29 9:01:10 PM  

His Mexcellency: So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.


You slowly pushed your foot on it?

His Mexcellency: Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender


His dickhead had a jaw?

I am so confused, but as long as you both finished at the same time, all is well.
 
2019-04-29 9:01:51 PM  
Rep. Matt Gaetz is mad about Parkland victim father's artwork. No word on how he feels about getting kicked out of Subby's bar in 2005/06, and having his nuts curb stomped by subby in the process.


Actions have consequences, as we know. But inaction (on guns) has consequences too, right Matty?
 
2019-04-29 9:02:53 PM  

UninformedButEnthusiastic: I've said a lot of embarrassing things while drunk, but if one of them was "don't you know who my _____ is?" I'd never forgive myself.


I don't know. I've used "do you know who my bail bondsman is?" many times, to good effect.
 
2019-04-29 9:03:18 PM  
"do you know who my dad is?!"

No. Do you? [dickstomp]
 
2019-04-29 9:06:49 PM  

His Mexcellency: The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.netView Full Size


The 2008 DUI, but I'd like to think this means there's another mugshot out there.
 
2019-04-29 9:07:46 PM  

Oysterman: His Mexcellency: The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.

[d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net image 800x533]

The 2008 DUI, but I'd like to think this means there's another mugshot out there.


Surely it's public record?
 
2019-04-29 9:08:29 PM  

mcsiegs: His Mexcellency: So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.

You slowly pushed your foot on it?
His Mexcellency: Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender

His dickhead had a jaw?

I am so confused, but as long as you both finished at the same time, all is well.


You've never seen the guys with big living penises?
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-04-29 9:09:35 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


Gotta have the appropriate music for this scenario.

CSS - Dynamite (Audio)
Youtube GUvwp7Bk1q0
 
2019-04-29 9:10:33 PM  
Matt Gaetz a bad drunk? Color me shocked...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-04-29 9:11:50 PM  

Oysterman: His Mexcellency: The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.

[d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net image 800x533]

The 2008 DUI, but I'd like to think this means there's another mugshot out there.


* shakes tiny shot glass *
 
2019-04-29 9:11:57 PM  

Spectrum: I call bullshiat. Matt Gaetz has no dick.

/Well that's what I heard!


Not after that story he sure didn't
 
2019-04-29 9:13:59 PM  
This is the first time I've ever heard of this idiot. And it's glorious! God bless you and your gas peddler.
 
2019-04-29 9:14:57 PM  

His Mexcellency: Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.

Williamsburg, VA


Never would have thought Williamsburg. If it were anywhere around here, Denbigh or the more redneck parts here in Hampton or Poquoson would've came to mind.
 
2019-04-29 9:15:08 PM  
That's a pretty great story. It's too bad HIPAA laws prevent me from sharing a similar one.
 
2019-04-29 9:15:17 PM  
I'm just saying, you didn't kick hard enough.
 
2019-04-29 9:18:53 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


Only happier ending would have been if the server, while fearing for his life, grabbed a beer bottle, broke it, and stabbed him in the neck.

/have I mentioned lately that rapepublicans broke my give a damn?
 
2019-04-29 9:21:08 PM  

kling_klang_bed: His Mexcellency: Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.

Williamsburg, VA

Never would have thought Williamsburg. If it were anywhere around here, Denbigh or the more redneck parts here in Hampton or Poquoson would've came to mind.


He did get his law degree at William and Mary. So its quite possible.
 
2019-04-29 9:22:50 PM  
Just want to confirm the story here. I was subby's manager at the time and was just amazed he was able to hit such a small target.
 
2019-04-29 9:22:58 PM  

Oysterman: His Mexcellency: The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.

[d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net image 800x533]

The 2008 DUI, but I'd like to think this means there's another mugshot out there.


That man managed to get somebody in a choke hold? No wonder he wasn't letting go.
 
2019-04-29 9:23:42 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


img.fark.netView Full Size


+1 subby for being at the right hand of Crom.
 
2019-04-29 9:24:36 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


Do it again and record it for posterity.
 
2019-04-29 9:28:47 PM  

Gergesa: Do it again and record it for posterity.


From a bunch of angles. Just to be sure. Might need a few takes, too, in case the lighting or focus is messed up. Ya know, just to be thorough.
 
2019-04-29 9:30:34 PM  
Should I tweet him screenshots of the story?
 
2019-04-29 9:31:19 PM  
With all due respect subby, as a former bouncer, that is not "curb stomping"; that is far more grim than this example.

Not taking anything from you though, because a solid nut shot to that POS is a wet dream in of itself, and I thank you on the behalf of humanity for it. I just wish I had the.. part... there.

"do you know who my dad is?!"

That and "do you know who I am?"...
My response was always "No. Do you know who I am?", and then things always proceeded accordingly... occasionally ending in a swim in the yacht harbor across the parking lot to cool off.
The best way for the "entitled" to feel "normal" is to pull their "entitled" BS among "normals"; I've seen and had little awe, and the general public agrees. (pitchforks optional)
 
2019-04-29 9:37:53 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


I LIKE BEER
 
2019-04-29 9:39:11 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Punch 'em in the Dick
Youtube tRwoN1RdLCM
 
2019-04-29 9:40:24 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


I find this totally feasible in the most nonironic sense.
 
2019-04-29 9:41:27 PM  
That's a great story and mental image.  Back in the day I worked in a bar, and did and saw plenty, but none of the people are anyone famous. He got off lucky. Some bouncers I've seen would have put him in the hospital.
 
2019-04-29 9:41:40 PM  

Sliding Carp: His Mexcellency: Diagonal: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.


Gainesville or Tampa?

Just curious.

Williamsburg, VA

Checks out.

You need to send this to Matthew Gertz (he gets twits meant for Gaetz and might enjoy reading it).


Wait, I've been to williamsburg and there are definitely more than three bars. I drank at atleast a dozen. Granted it was like four years ago.
 
2019-04-29 9:42:38 PM  
Scrotum? His Mexcellency damn near killed him!
 
2019-04-29 9:44:56 PM  

His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.


New farkie: "Probably curb-stomped Matt Gaetz's alleged balls"
 
2019-04-29 9:53:10 PM  
I'm kinda tempted to start a gofundme to get His Mexcellency a pair of steel toes.
 
2019-04-29 9:56:20 PM  
ThunderPelvis:

New farkie: "Probably curb-stomped Matt Gaetz's alleged balls"

Ummm, user name checks out?

/either really off or obligatory
 
2019-04-29 9:57:19 PM  

Spectrum: I call bullshiat. Matt Gaetz has no dick.


Well, not anymore!
 
2019-04-29 9:59:10 PM  

Mrtraveler01: His Mexcellency: In 2005 or 2006, I was working at a bar, while at school.  It was one of three bars at that school.  Every Thursday late night, the law students would swarm the place.  A few of them were really bad drunks.  One night there was a student we'd had a problem with before.  He was caught either pissing in a sorta private seating area, or groped one of the waitresses ass.  He was confronted and a fight starts.  The boyfriend of the waitress punches the guy in the face, and he gets dragged out the front.  In the fracas, he grabs a server and gets him in a choke-hold.
We have him out and held down, but he won't release the server, and the police across the street aren't doing anything.  So I grab both of his l legs, lift and spread them.  I warn him that of he doesn't let go, I'm going to kick him in the nuts.  He doesn't let go, and keeps going on about how he's gonna sue us and "do you know who my dad is?!" I warn him a second time to let go of the server.  He still doesn't let go.  So I gas pedaled him right in the dick.  Hard.  He doubles over and ask me why.  I mean I warned him, it was pretty obvious why.  The police finally jump into action and arrest him, drunk in public.
My friends and I would would always bring this story up from time to time, because of the way in which I resolved the situation and how bad of a night that dude had.  It wasnt until a couple of months ago  that I had finally connected the dots, after seeing a mug shot of Matt Gaetz.  I've discussed it with two others involved in the incident and we're certain the guy was Matt Gaetz.
Whenever he's pissing you off, just remember, Matt Gaetz had his dick curb stomped by a bartender, while getting thrown out of a bar.

And now you know...the rest of the story.


GoodDay!
 
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