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(The Sun)   "Men with beards carry more germs than dogs." Obviously, I mean how many dogs can one person carry? (possible nsfw content on page)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Obvious, Beard, The Sun, Bacteria, Sun Online news team, News of the World, MRI scanner, Facial hair, Newspaper  
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3016 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2019 at 4:05 PM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



118 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2019-04-14 03:25:17 PM  
Give up, Gillette. The beard trend will end when it ends, not a minute sooner, and scaring SOs with stories of beard feces in paid articles isn't going to hurry it a bit.
 
2019-04-14 03:47:20 PM  
I'd rather folks just wash their damn hands. Seriously. Y'all in the public can just be nasty.

/Had a beard for nearly 30 years now.
 
2019-04-14 03:50:08 PM  
If you're that afraid of stuff you can't even see, I'd kinda appreciate you keeping your fears far away from me and my beard.
 
2019-04-14 03:55:39 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: If you're that afraid of stuff you can't even see, I'd kinda appreciate you keeping your fears far away from me and my beard.


Problem is they can see what they fear -- A generation that hasn't been guilted by marketing into buying their overpriced, marginally effective products.
 
2019-04-14 04:08:15 PM  
I used to shampoo my beard. Feel like it was clean enough.
 
2019-04-14 04:08:52 PM  
Kunt and the Gang - Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?)
Youtube vCPvLSkv3RA
 
2019-04-14 04:10:33 PM  
Oh?  Do women with long hair have lots of germs too?
 
2019-04-14 04:11:33 PM  
How old are the dogs? If they are little puppies, I think you'd be able to fashion some sort of double bandolier like this:

img.fark.netView Full Size


Only with puppies instead of bullets.
 
2019-04-14 04:13:02 PM  

Chuck87: Oh?  Do women with long hair have lots of germs too?


Yes.

Human hair is never considered "clean" and certainly never "sterile" - even when freshly washed.  There are just incredibly far too many nooks and crannies for microbes to hide.

On the flip side, beard germs are usually more tasty.
 
2019-04-14 04:13:11 PM  

Chuck87: Oh?  Do women with long hair have lots of germs too?


Call me a woman hating misogynist, but it was much easier to go down on women who shaved/trimmed often.
 
2019-04-14 04:14:17 PM  
Ever seen a close-up of the critters that live in your eyelashes?
You'll never want to lean over your plate of food again.

/ They crawl.
// They jump.
/// They haunt your dreams.
 
2019-04-14 04:14:55 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: If you're that afraid of stuff you can't even see, I'd kinda appreciate you keeping your fears far away from me and my beard.


What's her name?
 
2019-04-14 04:15:31 PM  
Can you imagine the results from a cultivated Julian Assange hobo beard Petri dish test?
 
2019-04-14 04:15:32 PM  
I got a nice barbero beard care kit for christmas that i really like. Beard shampoo, beard balm, beard oil, beard wax, scissors, brush, and a comb. I like the beard balm and oil best, havent used the wax or shampoo yet, i wash it when i shower up.
Really, it takes so little time to keep it clean and trimmed and smelling good...
 
2019-04-14 04:15:34 PM  
My beard is as clean as my hair. Take that to mean what you will.
 
2019-04-14 04:17:23 PM  
Well done, subby. I got a sensible chuckle because of that headline.
 
2019-04-14 04:17:23 PM  
And they are hideous too.
 
2019-04-14 04:17:28 PM  
Oh, and if things like beards or appendices or prepuces we're going to kill you, we would have evolved them out.

I have only one of the above...  damn thing keeps growing back.
 
2019-04-14 04:19:07 PM  

Chuck87: Oh?  Do women with long hair have lots of germs too?


No, but the razor industry is responsible for causing women to be ostracized for any body hair to the point where it became an ingrained social norm.

I want to know who funded the study, because I can totally see the razor industry trying to shame the guys in order to up their sales.
 
2019-04-14 04:19:19 PM  

duckpoopy: And they are hideous too.


I dunno.
I do think they're cuter when they're puppies.
 
2019-04-14 04:20:01 PM  
What about men who love oral sex?  Did they measure the bacteria on those chins?
 
2019-04-14 04:20:13 PM  

Snaptastic: Chuck87: Oh?  Do women with long hair have lots of germs too?

No, but the razor industry is responsible for causing women to be ostracized for any body hair to the point where it became an ingrained social norm.

I want to know who funded the study, because I can totally see the razor industry trying to shame the guys in order to up their sales.


It's the star, why do you even assume there was a study?
 
2019-04-14 04:22:43 PM  
I dropped a performing somewhere.  If you find it, put it where ever you like.
 
2019-04-14 04:22:53 PM  
I don't know about this beard-men and dogs thing.  I mean, I've only known a few men with beards who drink from a toilet.  And they almost always flushed it beforehand.
 
2019-04-14 04:23:39 PM  
Of course it's some kind of corporate conspiracy that people prefer the touch of smooth skin compared to scratchy, scraggly beards or body hair. Newsflash, nobody's back hair feels like Thor's flowing locks.
 
2019-04-14 04:25:31 PM  
Humans have bacteria. Rick Romero with more at 10.
 
2019-04-14 04:26:36 PM  
I had a beard for 30 years - I shaved it off a month ago and don't miss it.

The passport-checking machine does though - I had to be checked through BY A PERSON.
 
2019-04-14 04:27:08 PM  
Everyone I know hugs on their dog and buries their face in their dogs side wirhout any problem.   So what's your point ?
 
2019-04-14 04:29:10 PM  
Problem Solved:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-04-14 04:33:13 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size



Half a dozen if they're small enough.
 
2019-04-14 04:33:59 PM  
I've occasionally tried to grow a beard. I could never make it past the itchiness. I'm told that goes away, but last time I gave up after a month. Even tried beard shampoo/oil/brushes, to no effect.

So, Gillette wins in this case.
 
2019-04-14 04:35:18 PM  
"Which one is man with beard?"

1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


/You men orally
 
2019-04-14 04:35:20 PM  
Whenever I see a bearded hipster, I'm reminded of the old Mad Magazine strip, probably over 40 years old:

Two long-bearded hillbillies are sitting in a cabin at the dinner table, with empty bowls.

Panel 1
Hillbilly 1:  "What's for dinner?"

Panel 2
(Hillbilly 2 uses both hands to wring out his beard into his bowl, juices and little bones and fish heads fall out.)

Panel 3
Hillbilly 2:  "Leftovers."
 
2019-04-14 04:37:48 PM  
But do they smell like a horse died on a sad clown?
 
2019-04-14 04:42:25 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2019-04-14 04:46:34 PM  
I was my beard with the same shampoo I use for my head hair. Selsun Blue is the best damn way to have really nice looking hair.
 
2019-04-14 04:47:47 PM  

bughunter: Whenever I see a bearded hipster, I'm reminded of the old Mad Magazine strip, probably over 40 years old:

Two long-bearded hillbillies are sitting in a cabin at the dinner table, with empty bowls.

Panel 1
Hillbilly 1:  "What's for dinner?"

Panel 2
(Hillbilly 2 uses both hands to wring out his beard into his bowl, juices and little bones and fish heads fall out.)

Panel 3
Hillbilly 2:  "Leftovers."


That's what I refer to as a "smorgasbeard".
 
2019-04-14 04:47:56 PM  
I'm sorry to hear that Kelly Preston is disease-ridden.
 
2019-04-14 04:48:08 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Ass brush
 
2019-04-14 04:50:46 PM  
Beards are great for guys who want to groom a bacteria factory as a side job for no wages.
 
2019-04-14 04:52:18 PM  
If I wanted a face full of unsanitary curly hairs with bits of food in it I'd go down on your mom.
 
2019-04-14 05:00:39 PM  

LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 612x612]


I see what you did there.
 
2019-04-14 05:00:53 PM  

bughunter: Whenever I see a bearded hipster, I'm reminded of the old Mad Magazine strip, probably over 40 years old:

Two long-bearded hillbillies are sitting in a cabin at the dinner table, with empty bowls.

Panel 1
Hillbilly 1:  "What's for dinner?"

Panel 2
(Hillbilly 2 uses both hands to wring out his beard into his bowl, juices and little bones and fish heads fall out.)

Panel 3
Hillbilly 2:  "Leftovers."


I remember that one. Can see it clearly in my mind. It was probably 20 years old when I saw it 30 years ago. MAD recycled a lot of stuff.

We're old.
 
2019-04-14 05:05:55 PM  
If I let my dog lick my beard, does it make it cleaner?
 
TWX
2019-04-14 05:08:41 PM  

Mad_Radhu: How old are the dogs? If they are little puppies, I think you'd be able to fashion some sort of double bandolier like this:

[img.fark.net image 560x420]

Only with puppies instead of bullets.


You're not fooling anyone, we all know you just wanted an excuse to post a semi-naked Sean Connery in red hotpants.

We aren't judging.
 
2019-04-14 05:08:44 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
TWX
2019-04-14 05:10:30 PM  

Trocadero: Chuck87: Oh?  Do women with long hair have lots of germs too?

Call me a woman hating misogynist, but it was much easier to go down on women who shaved/trimmed often.


But you didn't get that secondary benefit of not having to floss...
 
2019-04-14 05:15:17 PM  
Obey the Beard by Psychostick [Official] Beard Song
Youtube q0kSuZFOwFE
 
2019-04-14 05:19:23 PM  

SloppyFrenchKisser: Ever seen a close-up of the critters that live in your eyelashes?
You'll never want to lean over your plate of food again.

/ They crawl.
// They jump.
/// They haunt your dreams.


And you can't see the, nor smell them, nor do they impact your live one iota. Grow the fark up, you squeamish Nancy.
 
2019-04-14 05:22:44 PM  

luckyeddie: I had a beard for 30 years - I shaved it off a month ago and don't miss it.



I've had mine for 38 years (minus a few months for "reasons"). You can shave it off my corpse.
 
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