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(UPI)   Man pulls out a lizard in gas station toilet. Not a euphemism   (upi.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Monitor lizard, South Africa, Nile monitor lizard, Monitor lizards, Nile monitor, Nick Evans, Squamata, video of an unusual call  
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2235 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Apr 2019 at 9:30 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



24 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-04-13 09:32:19 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-04-13 09:38:18 PM  
Dead Milkmen unavailable for comment
 
2019-04-13 09:42:52 PM  

cretinbob: Dead Milkmen unavailable for comment


I understood that reference. Big thumbs up.
 
2019-04-13 10:04:01 PM  
Want a Bearded Dragon? || ViralHog
Youtube trhlc9NExP8
 
2019-04-13 10:04:18 PM  
Translation from Lizard-eze: "HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! ​HE​LP! HELP! HELP!"
 
2019-04-13 10:10:46 PM  
A Witches Ball | Song | "I Put My Hand Inside A Toilet"
Youtube Bqee6Xrqtlo
 
2019-04-13 10:15:05 PM  
You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.
 
2019-04-13 10:23:00 PM  

Resident Muslim: You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.


But you'll need somewhere private to change your pants.

I did not know what a monitor lizard looked like and I audibly gasped at that video. Holy fark.
 
2019-04-13 10:29:01 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2019-04-13 10:30:35 PM  
My old roommate had a monitor lizard.  That thing was worse than her rattlesnake.  Just an asshole.  She could have traded it in for a goose and it would have been an upgrade.
 
2019-04-13 10:40:16 PM  

davidphogan: My old roommate had a monitor lizard.  That thing was worse than her rattlesnake.  Just an asshole.  She could have traded it in for a goose and it would have been an upgrade.


They have personalities.  The one my roommate in college owned was the friendliest little thing you ever met.  She'd follow you around bumping the back of your heel with her head until you gave her neck scritchies.  She and his mangy-looking mutt dog were practically inseparable.  Given how many years ago that was she's probably deceased now unfortunately.

/RIP Lizzie the cool-ass lizard
 
2019-04-13 10:45:48 PM  

Jeff73: /RIP Lizzie the cool-ass lizard


As cold blooded animals I'd be worried if she wasn't a cool ass lizard.
 
2019-04-13 11:38:17 PM  
Maybe there was a Spock there he needed to poison.
 
2019-04-13 11:39:38 PM  
Nice lizard, easy now, into the bag, nice and easy..... Ouch the lil bugger bit me. I'm out!!!
 
2019-04-14 12:59:05 AM  
I AM THE LIZARD KING!
 
2019-04-14 01:13:28 AM  

Resident Muslim: You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.


There was this gas station that was halfway between where my parents  and I used to live in Fl.  I attempted to use the restroom once. It was an external restroom. Probably the worst I've ever seen. The floors were filthy,  no TP, and there was actually feces smeared all over the place. There was spray paint on the wall that said "What the fark is wrong with you people? Clean this!".
Over the years I'd stop by occasionally to look in to see if it was ever cleaned. It wasn't and somehow continued to get worse. Apparently people were still desperate enough to use it. One day I drove by and the bathrooms had been bricked over. It got so bad the owners elected to forgo having a bathroom and sealed it like it was some ancient curse.
 
2019-04-14 01:15:14 AM  
Did the lizard drain the human?
 
2019-04-14 01:43:44 AM  

Resident Muslim: You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.


I had to use one today.

There were dozens of sunflower seed shells on, in, and on the floor below the urinal.

Just let your mind draw the picture there.
 
2019-04-14 02:13:55 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: Resident Muslim: You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.

I had to use one today.

There were dozens of sunflower seed shells on, in, and on the floor below the urinal.

Just let your mind draw the picture there.


I'm sorry, the only thing I can conjure up with those details is an old guy with prostate problems passing the time until he could piss.

/shouldve gone for the stall and dropped the shells in the toilet
 
2019-04-14 02:14:32 AM  

MythDragon: Resident Muslim: You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.

There was this gas station that was halfway between where my parents  and I used to live in Fl.  I attempted to use the restroom once. It was an external restroom. Probably the worst I've ever seen. The floors were filthy,  no TP, and there was actually feces smeared all over the place. There was spray paint on the wall that said "What the fark is wrong with you people? Clean this!".
Over the years I'd stop by occasionally to look in to see if it was ever cleaned. It wasn't and somehow continued to get worse. Apparently people were still desperate enough to use it. One day I drove by and the bathrooms had been bricked over. It got so bad the owners elected to forgo having a bathroom and sealed it like it was some ancient curse.


Did they inscribe a warning on it?
Would make for a real life horror movie
 
2019-04-14 02:29:34 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: Resident Muslim: You KNOW that that gas-station toilets are the worst. Second only to rest-area toilets. So you wouldn't use one unless you really, really had to. Running up and into the bathroom and you find this lizard there...chances are you won't have to use the bathroom any more.

I had to use one today.

There were dozens of sunflower seed shells on, in, and on the floor below the urinal.

Just let your mind draw the picture there.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-04-14 08:05:05 AM  

cyberspacedout: [i.imgur.com image 680x510]


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2019-04-14 08:24:46 AM  

davidphogan: Jeff73: /RIP Lizzie the cool-ass lizard

As cold blooded animals I'd be worried if she wasn't a cool ass lizard.


The way we talk to animals and infants is equally goofy.

hey lizzie hey lizzie c'mon c'mon up up good girl good girl nope nope back down there good girl yep good girl owp owp let go of that

She never bit me though at times she looked like she wanted to.
 
2019-04-14 08:51:47 AM  
Point of order, subby.

It's not a euphemism. This time.
 
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