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(Fox News)   There are some sick farkers out there, but this one might just take the cake   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Bloomington, Minnesota, Shopping mall, Hiawatha Line, press conference, 5-year-old boy, Mall of America, Bloomington Police Chief Jeff Potts, Metropolitan Stadium  
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8914 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Apr 2019 at 1:10 AM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2019-04-12 09:30:49 PM  
I was in that mall maybe 8 or 9 years ago  with my girlfriend's two kids when someone jumped from the top floor. Landed near the Cinnabon on the first. Ugly scene* 
So we went to Auntie 'Em's. Pretzels instead.**

* true story

** not true. We decided to skip food altogether that evening for some reason
 
2019-04-12 10:18:13 PM  

TsarTom: I was in that mall maybe 8 or 9 years ago  with my girlfriend's two kids when someone jumped from the top floor. Landed near the Cinnabon on the first. Ugly scene* 
So we went to Auntie 'Em's. Pretzels instead.**

* true story

** not true. We decided to skip food altogether that evening for some reason


"We decided to skip food."
 
2019-04-12 10:36:37 PM  
Jesus that is pure evil
 
2019-04-12 10:46:40 PM  
I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.
 
2019-04-13 01:13:21 AM  
Why do I want to take Gravity Kills out of the playlist?
 
2019-04-13 01:16:01 AM  
Man, every once in a while you get one that just won't bounce.  It's not your technique, not you lack of skill; that baby will not now, or ever, bounce.
Deal with it.
 
2019-04-13 01:17:45 AM  
It's been done

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2019-04-13 01:19:29 AM  
No clicks for Fox News.
 
2019-04-13 01:22:42 AM  
I'm against the death penalty but I hope this dude accidentally dies of electrocution or a painful overdose of seizure inducing medication.
 
2019-04-13 01:24:05 AM  

redbucket: I'm against the death penalty but I hope this dude accidentally dies of electrocution or a painful overdose of seizure inducing medication.


Sepsis from a botch colonoscopy.
 
2019-04-13 01:24:32 AM  
I hope this isn't part of a falling kids trifecta.
 
2019-04-13 01:27:44 AM  
For any David Eddings fans, you'll understand what I mean when I say I want this f*cker to have a close encounter with Silk and learn the meaning of "Does bouncing count?"
 
2019-04-13 01:27:46 AM  

OkieDookie: redbucket: I'm against the death penalty but I hope this dude accidentally dies of electrocution or a painful overdose of seizure inducing medication.

Sepsis from a botch colonoscopy.


Which was caused by a seizure which was caused by a malfunction of the sigmoid-scope tethered lead, which cause the lead to become, simultaneously, hot as the sun, cold as ice, and as big as john candy right before he died.  And it turned into a lizard.
 
2019-04-13 01:29:44 AM  
I really hope the kid recovers.  My oldest is 5....  just can't...  can not... imagine going through that.

/woke my kids up just to give them hugs
//oldest told me to let go after 5 minutes...
///Still sat and watched them sleep for a few more minutes.
 
2019-04-13 01:30:19 AM  
General population inmates will generally take a dim view of those who hurt children.

/ I do not approve
// But I understand
/// He'll get no sympathy from me.
 
2019-04-13 01:33:07 AM  
Who hasn't wanted to pitch some annoying little shiat off the nearest ledge?
 
2019-04-13 01:33:22 AM  

Naido: I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.


Hear, hear! I'm all about "head for an eye" justice. The only real way to deter future criminals is to do whatever they're considering to them - TIMES 10! I'm against the death penalty because it doesn't go far enough, rather we need to televise the convicted being molested, mutilated and dismembered while their family members watch.
 
2019-04-13 01:33:43 AM  
I feel more prisons need an oubliette. That should make life in prison more palatable to the folk that are anti death penalty most of the time.
 
2019-04-13 01:33:54 AM  

RatMaster999: Who hasn't wanted to pitch some annoying little shiat off the nearest ledge?


That's why you get a chamberpot.
 
2019-04-13 01:34:16 AM  

RatMaster999: Who hasn't wanted to pitch some annoying little shiat off the nearest ledge?


Well I can say I've never wanted to...  ever.

Now, their parents.  Maybe
 
2019-04-13 01:34:42 AM  

wolfemane: I really hope the kid recovers.  My oldest is 5....  just can't...  can not... imagine going through that.

/woke my kids up just to give them hugs
//oldest told me to let go after 5 minutes...
///Still sat and watched them sleep for a few more minutes.


I don't have kids, but reading your post was the antidote for reading that article. Thank you.
 
2019-04-13 01:36:13 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: wolfemane: I really hope the kid recovers.  My oldest is 5....  just can't...  can not... imagine going through that.

/woke my kids up just to give them hugs
//oldest told me to let go after 5 minutes...
///Still sat and watched them sleep for a few more minutes.

I don't have kids, but reading your post was the antidote for reading that article. Thank you.


You are welcome!
 
2019-04-13 01:36:15 AM  

RatMaster999: Who hasn't wanted to pitch some annoying little shiat off the nearest ledge?


And yet you're still here to make the comment.
 
2019-04-13 01:37:17 AM  

OkieDookie: redbucket: I'm against the death penalty but I hope this dude accidentally dies of electrocution or a painful overdose of seizure inducing medication.

Sepsis from a botch colonoscopy.


Naw I work in the medical field and this scenario just made me feel bad for the lawyers and medical records staff that would have to deal with this.  Toaster in bath for this asshole would be best.
 
2019-04-13 01:45:44 AM  
If he gets beat to death in jail, I won't be a bit surprised that somehow all the guards just plumb didn't hear a peep from the inmates.
 
2019-04-13 01:47:34 AM  
 
2019-04-13 01:48:08 AM  

Naido: I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.


Good chance he was having a pretty complete psychotic break and thought the kid was a dragon or whatev..

But don't let me interrupt your two minute hate.

Will be interesting to see if he's competent to stand trial any time soon
 
2019-04-13 01:49:13 AM  
So, yeah.

Teaching your kid how to fly is notdone the same way as teaching them how to swim. Who knew?
 
2019-04-13 02:11:17 AM  

Pats_Cloth_Coat: Naido: I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

Good chance he was having a pretty complete psychotic break and thought the kid was a dragon or whatev..

But don't let me interrupt your two minute hate.

Will be interesting to see if he's competent to stand trial any time soon


Does it matter? Guy is dangerous. Just put him down like a rabid dog and be done with it.
 
2019-04-13 02:14:52 AM  

Naido: I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.


Go slightly higher.
 
2019-04-13 02:27:37 AM  
Must be a Clapton fan.
 
2019-04-13 02:48:06 AM  

undernova: No clicks for Fox News.


The truth hurts, ehh?
 
2019-04-13 03:52:17 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

I blame Reefer Mall Madness.
 
2019-04-13 04:14:26 AM  

OkieDookie: Why do I want to take Gravity Kills out of the playlist?


And the Weather Girls too.

/that boy ain't right.
//and I'm not talking about the kid here either.
 
2019-04-13 04:19:58 AM  
Jesus Christ.
 
2019-04-13 04:48:24 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: For any David Eddings fans, you'll understand what I mean when I say I want this f*cker to have a close encounter with Silk and learn the meaning of "Does bouncing count?"


Iunderstoodthatreference.jpg
 
2019-04-13 05:04:12 AM  
Who does he think he is, Galileo?
 
2019-04-13 05:11:08 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [img.fark.net image 850x602]
I blame Reefer Mall Madness.


Holee-shiat! I'd completely forgotten about that game! Thanks for the memory :)
 
2019-04-13 05:33:35 AM  
Demon Child Screams & runs through plane for 8 hr temper tantrum, by New York Artist Shane Townley
Youtube hv1aczlrMsk
 
2019-04-13 05:35:31 AM  

redbucket: I'm against the death penalty but I hope this dude accidentally dies of electrocution or a painful overdose of seizure inducing medication.


Or execute him by throwing him off a third floor level without the benefit of a pill so it won't hurt.
 
2019-04-13 06:26:02 AM  
You know how people say if they had a time machine they'd go back and kill baby Hitler? Maybe this guy's from the future.
 
2019-04-13 06:40:08 AM  

jackandwater: redbucket: I'm against the death penalty but I hope this dude accidentally dies of electrocution or a painful overdose of seizure inducing medication.

Or execute him by throwing him off a third floor level without the benefit of a pill so it won't hurt.


Just hit 'em with a little Slowmo first.
Dredd Slowmo balcony drop
Youtube xdK_fLzc3p0
 
2019-04-13 07:09:35 AM  
I'm from near Syracuse by. They have the biggest competitor to mall of America, destiny usa. Then it was known as the carouse mall. One Easter season someone jumped from 5 stories up and halfway down they screamed and everyone turned and looked just in time for the impact.

They closed part of the mall and cleaned up the scene and were taking testimony from the witnesses they could find. The one person they couldn't find was the guy in the Easter bunny costume. They eventually found him hours later at Big Kahunas. He had been drinking from 8-9am til pst dinner time.
 
2019-04-13 07:11:16 AM  

Pats_Cloth_Coat: Naido: I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

Good chance he was having a pretty complete psychotic break and thought the kid was a dragon or whatev..

But don't let me interrupt your two minute hate.

Will be interesting to see if he's competent to stand trial any time soon


Yep, dead giveaway he is suffering from a psychotic disorder since he ran away.  A sane person would have stayed there so they they didn't get caught running where it isn't allowed.
 
2019-04-13 07:16:22 AM  

wolfemane: I really hope the kid recovers.  My oldest is 5....  just can't...  can not... imagine going through that.

/woke my kids up just to give them hugs
//oldest told me to let go after 5 minutes...
///Still sat and watched them sleep for a few more minutes.


Yeah, I saw this on the news last night and my little boy got extra storytime and stayed up with daddy a little later. Very rarely am I shocked by humanity these days. This was one of those times.
 
2019-04-13 07:23:40 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [img.fark.net image 850x602]
I blame Reefer Mall Madness.


This is why I read FARK ...... damn you! 🤣

(Shaking tiny fist at you)
 
2019-04-13 08:00:51 AM  
The Boy Who Could Fly.

Such a farking shiat-ass movie, right there with Powder.
 
2019-04-13 08:06:40 AM  

scalpod: Naido: I suggest tossing this guy from the third floor, give him just enough time in jail to mostly recover from his injuries, then do it again.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

Hear, hear! I'm all about "head for an eye" justice. The only real way to deter future criminals is to do whatever they're considering to them - TIMES 10! I'm against the death penalty because it doesn't go far enough, rather we need to televise the convicted being molested, mutilated and dismembered while their family members watch.


It can be also said to never harm a child. This sick fark should die in the most horrendous way for pushing a kid of a 3rd story mall.
 
2019-04-13 08:11:28 AM  
Subby said take the cake, so I just assumed that this was about Lex Luthor.
 
2019-04-13 08:18:53 AM  
The guy has been banned from the MoA before for throwing things off the 3rd floor balcony. Seriously.
 
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