Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Astrologers are upset with Amazon Prime sending out "shopping horoscopes". Who could have predicted that?   ( divider line
    More: Stupid, Astrology, Western astrology, Horoscope, Zodiac, astrology start shilling, Horoscopic astrology, Fast Company, House  
•       •       •

333 clicks; posted to Business » on 12 Apr 2019 at 3:13 AM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

16 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2019-04-11 11:48:09 PM  
They're upset because a Very Large Corporation of America is trying to muscle in on their idiotic scam?
2019-04-11 11:48:35 PM  
Rule of Thumb: I only buy a horoscope book if when I open it to the current date, it says "you will buy a horoscope" today. It can't say this for every day. There can be only one.
2019-04-12 12:16:36 AM  
Do people actually shop based on their astrological sign or horoscope? Do they let people shop from adult mental care centers?
2019-04-12 02:35:41 AM  
If this works Alexa is sure to be re-branded.

img.fark.netView Full Size
2019-04-12 03:53:12 AM  
Amazon's horoscopes aren't bad because the company is capitalizing on astrology-or not only because of that. They're bad because they're no fun.

You want fun horoscopes? Well, okay then.
That's Your Horoscope For Today
Youtube 26IOww0gO1w
2019-04-12 05:24:36 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
2019-04-12 05:36:44 AM  
"If you're a Taurus, see your Amazon florist. And if you're a Gemini, you can expect the unexpected to be delivered."
2019-04-12 05:55:20 AM  
Astrology makes no sense. According to astrology, I'm a Leo. In practice I'm more like a very sketchy rat.
2019-04-12 06:17:45 AM  
This sounds like a great business idea. Lemme see!
"You can't expect people to read your mind, dear Pisces."
"Take a cue from those birds chirp-chirping outside your window and express yourself. More than that, be clear about what you want, then ask for it kindly and directly, without worrying about ruffling anyone's feathers."
Alright, go fu-
"You can practice clear communication and fulfilling desire through Amazon Restaurants."
...What? No.

2019-04-12 08:52:40 AM  
Suckers. eBay has been sending me stuff based on my biorhythms for years.
2019-04-12 09:51:02 AM's still real astrology, right?
2019-04-12 10:12:07 AM  

Raymond Perjurytrap:'s still real astrology, right?

Stars is no good; you need liver and entrails for specifics.
2019-04-12 01:17:41 PM  
You know who else disapproves? Actual astrologers.

Editor must have the day off. Lemme help:

img.fark.netView Full Size

/also meaningless utterances: "actual werewolves," "actual witches," "actual journalists at Slate"
2019-04-12 02:38:56 PM  

casual disregard: Astrology makes no sense. According to astrology, I'm a Leo. In practice I'm more like a very sketchy rat.

If astrology worked, then twins would always have similar personalities.
2019-04-12 03:30:50 PM  
Given all of the data that goes into these things, Amazon's bullshiat "Today, you will be in the mood to buy this product" astrologies are probably 1000x more accurate than anything an "actual" astrologer will ever do.

So it makes sense that they'd be mad, I guess.
2019-04-12 05:08:36 PM  

relaxitsjustme: [ image 541x318]

Jupiter will have quite an effect on your life it it nudges that comet over by half a degree.
Displayed 16 of 16 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.