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(Slate)   "I have a young daughter. My sister is marrying a sex offender and plans on including him at all family functions and refuses to keep him away despite laws and what have you. Am I overreacting?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Family, younger sister, babies' foreskins, new pediatrician, good guy, law watch, next year, eldest child  
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557 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 26 Mar 2019 at 7:35 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-03-25 10:53:10 PM  
No. Not at all.
 
2019-03-25 11:09:39 PM  
What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.
 
2019-03-25 11:10:30 PM  
My brother is a convicted sex offender and lives with me because he had no place else to go  When my teenage grandkids come over  or if there's a family thing, or just someone with kids comes by, I tell him to leave til I say he can come back. Rules are rules  Her fiance will go right back to prison when his PO finds out he was around a kid. And boy, do they find out..
 
2019-03-25 11:12:18 PM  

Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.


Doesn't matter to the court. Believe me, doesn't matter.
 
2019-03-25 11:13:48 PM  
Is your daughter hot?
 
2019-03-25 11:29:51 PM  
If she shows, drop a dime on him.
 
2019-03-25 11:30:41 PM  

WyDave: If she shows, drop a dime on him.


If he shows.

Where's the god damned edit function.
 
2019-03-25 11:30:54 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Is your daughter hot?


Only if you like stainless steel..
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 11:33:50 PM  

Redh8t: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Is your daughter hot?

Only if you like stainless steel..
[img.fark.net image 400x400]


A simple 'No' would suffice.
 
2019-03-25 11:46:17 PM  

darkhorse23: Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.

Doesn't matter to the court. Believe me, doesn't matter.


True that.
 
2019-03-25 11:49:37 PM  
Your kid(s) are your first priority..no matter what.
 
2019-03-26 12:57:18 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Redh8t: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Is your daughter hot?

Only if you like stainless steel..
[img.fark.net image 400x400]

A simple 'No' would suffice.


I had time...
 
2019-03-26 02:52:14 AM  

darkhorse23: My brother is a convicted sex offender and lives with me because he had no place else to go  When my teenage grandkids come over  or if there's a family thing, or just someone with kids comes by, I tell him to leave til I say he can come back. Rules are rules  Her fiance will go right back to prison when his PO finds out he was around a kid. And boy, do they find out..


What was your brother convicted of?

My younger brother threatened to rape a high school kid.  I would never let him crash at my place, even if it meant he would be homeless.

/He's severly mentally ill as well.
 
2019-03-26 03:21:31 AM  
Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!
 
2019-03-26 03:23:18 AM  
Or this completely uncontroversial nugget from the 3rd letter:

"Grandma was killed by a gun" being a decent first step (apologies to the NRA)

Think of the fun we could be having!
 
2019-03-26 05:43:25 AM  

Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.


Won't peeing in public get you on that list?
 
2019-03-26 06:46:38 AM  

Gubbo: Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.

Won't peeing in public get you on that list?


If they toss in "indecent exposure," my  understanding  is, yes, it can.
 
2019-03-26 07:30:26 AM  
Sure... but, then he'll leave your daughter for someone half her age...
 
2019-03-26 07:30:58 AM  

fusillade762: Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!


We stopped after the head of the article.
 
2019-03-26 07:34:40 AM  

fusillade762: Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!


Thanks for the tip.
 
2019-03-26 07:53:29 AM  
is there really a shortage of non-homely, non-felons out there..?
 
2019-03-26 08:12:19 AM  

WyDave: If she shows, drop a dime on him.


This.

Some years ago I was yakking with a random person at a bar and he told me he was a convicted sexual offender.  He was 27 or so and had sex with a 14 year old.  He told me this without me asking...well, anything along those lines.  The creep was pretty much proud of it.  There is no fixing that guy.
 
2019-03-26 08:37:05 AM  

darkhorse23: Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.

Doesn't matter to the court. Believe me, doesn't matter.


If the offense is in the category "dated a 17 year old when 19 years old", then there is no risk to the young daughter so there would be no real reason to exclude the person from family events.

Showing up would be the risk the person on the list takes and is mostly unrelated to the rest of the family.

/Considering the language used in the letter it is unlikely to be one of those categories
 
2019-03-26 08:46:44 AM  
I think she is right to keep her kids away.

I love the bit about her religion that basically says "I'm a christian and here are all the things that I profess to believe about redemption but don't actually." Why even bring it up then?
 
2019-03-26 09:10:04 AM  
Confirm with the police/a lawyer first, that he's actually banned from all contact with children based on the laws in your state, and how they've categorized him, what restrictions were placed on him.  You're going to feel like an idiot if you call the police, and they just stand around explaining there's nothing they can do.

I wouldn't just take his word for it, or the word of your sister.  Do your research.
 
Ant
2019-03-26 10:07:47 AM  

fusillade762: Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!


Please no.
 
2019-03-26 10:18:20 AM  

Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.


TFA-Teacher playing in A Minor.

If the marriage happens, the sister gets cut out of your life.

Sorry. It is the only legal way.
 
2019-03-26 10:27:46 AM  

WyDave: WyDave: If she shows, drop a dime on him.

If he shows.

Where's the god damned edit function.


Filed under 'preview' ?
 
2019-03-26 10:57:14 AM  
The real question is how did she stop clutching the pearls long enough to type that.
 
2019-03-26 11:17:34 AM  

AirForceVet: No. Not at all.


Quite possibly true.

Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.


This however is also true.

There's a difference between getting caught having sex with your girlfriend who happens to be 15 when you're 17 and being the creepy 25-30--35yo trying to have sex with a 15yo. I personally know of 2 kids who will forever be labeled sex offenders, and have to register, for the horrid crime of having sex in high school with a sophomore when they were 17.

So yes, I agree, context is important here.
 
2019-03-26 11:17:52 AM  

fusillade762: Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!


Didn't make the cut.
 
2019-03-26 12:51:37 PM  

fusillade762: Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!


It's actually not even about circumcision.  It's about cleaning an uncircumcised penis.  "Only clean what's seen" goes against everything I've read and sounds like a good recipe for infection(and smegma)
 
2019-03-26 01:15:11 PM  

bhcompy: fusillade762: Nobody read down to the 2nd letter? Damn, this could have been a circumcision thread!

It's actually not even about circumcision.  It's about cleaning an uncircumcised penis.  "Only clean what's seen" goes against everything I've read and sounds like a good recipe for infection(and smegma)


"only clean what's seen" is specifically in regards to infants, where forcible retraction can cause damage.  It's not advocacy of poor hygiene.  There's only even a slogan because it's been an issue in the US with doctors harming boy children because they don't know what they're doing.
 
2019-03-26 01:15:59 PM  
After shocking us with a divorce, she's now engaged to a man twice her age who's in prison for an inappropriate relationship with a previous student (also half his age).

Wait, is this a math problem?

Let's say he was 30 years old and slept with a 15 year old, which is what got him sent to jail.
If the sister is now 20 years old, that means he's 40. Bleh. I suppose the sister could be older (or younger), but if she's older, then he's a lot older, and the number of years since his offense must be longer because otherwise he would have been too old at the time of the offense for a woman/girl half his age to have been illegal. Plus many states have an age of consent that's lower than 18. But let's say it's 18, the highest possible. That means at most, the victim was 17 and he was 34. But probably it was more like 15 and 30. If the sister is say, 22 now, then he's 44, which is a little less icky, but would mean he's at least ten years out from the crime and probably more. Would he still be in jail? What's the typical sentence for a first time offender? Of course the sister could only be 18 and he's 36. Ick!

Doing the math, I don't think this is likely to be a guy who's gotten over the fixation on teenage girls. I guess it's possible, but it's not looking good. The sister should dump "Roy Moore".
 
2019-03-26 01:36:30 PM  

Redh8t: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Is your daughter hot?

Only if you like stainless steel..
[img.fark.net image 400x400]


media.giphy.comView Full Size


/obligatory
 
2019-03-26 01:40:36 PM  

inglixthemad: AirForceVet: No. Not at all.

Quite possibly true.

Captain Scratch: What was his offense? You'd be amazed what can earn someone the label of sex offender.

This however is also true.

There's a difference between getting caught having sex with your girlfriend who happens to be 15 when you're 17 and being the creepy 25-30--35yo trying to have sex with a 15yo. I personally know of 2 kids who will forever be labeled sex offenders, and have to register, for the horrid crime of having sex in high school with a sophomore when they were 17.

So yes, I agree, context is important here.


Or something like "Got caught taking a drunken piss."   Yeah, you can get a sex offender flag that way for technically exposing yourself - and people have.  I wouldn't worry about myself or my kids in that case, no.  But if it was for seriously farked up behavior, then absolutely refuse to have them anywhere near you.
 
2019-03-26 04:29:33 PM  

patrick767: After shocking us with a divorce, she's now engaged to a man twice her age who's in prison for an inappropriate relationship with a previous student (also half his age).

Wait, is this a math problem?

Let's say he was 30 years old and slept with a 15 year old, which is what got him sent to jail.
If the sister is now 20 years old, that means he's 40. Bleh. I suppose the sister could be older (or younger), but if she's older, then he's a lot older, and the number of years since his offense must be longer because otherwise he would have been too old at the time of the offense for a woman/girl half his age to have been illegal. Plus many states have an age of consent that's lower than 18. But let's say it's 18, the highest possible. That means at most, the victim was 17 and he was 34. But probably it was more like 15 and 30. If the sister is say, 22 now, then he's 44, which is a little less icky, but would mean he's at least ten years out from the crime and probably more. Would he still be in jail? What's the typical sentence for a first time offender? Of course the sister could only be 18 and he's 36. Ick!

Doing the math, I don't think this is likely to be a guy who's gotten over the fixation on teenage girls. I guess it's possible, but it's not looking good. The sister should dump "Roy Moore".


Oh, but she met him at church _before_ he went to prison, so he's totes on the straight and narrow now.
 
2019-03-26 05:23:23 PM  
I had a friend who molested the daughters of some of the other families in our group. My daughter could have also been a victim, but I guess she was lucky to never have 'alone-time' with other adult men at get-togethers. It was not a comfortable discussion to have with my 13 year old daughter if she ever had any bad-touches as a child with him or any other adult. I haven't seen the guy since before it came out and I don't know what I would do if I ever do.

That said, I still think there is a spectrum for sex offenders. I don't care about public indecency at all. I'm only a little wary of the dating under your age bracket. Those are examples of poor judgement and interest in asymmetrical relationships that can be controlled. Children are a different matter. Preadolesence is completely insane. Those people are just broken.
 
2019-03-27 09:16:55 AM  

patrick767: After shocking us with a divorce, she's now engaged to a man twice her age who's in prison for an inappropriate relationship with a previous student (also half his age).

Wait, is this a math problem?

Let's say he was 30 years old and slept with a 15 year old, which is what got him sent to jail.
If the sister is now 20 years old, that means he's 40. Bleh. I suppose the sister could be older (or younger), but if she's older, then he's a lot older, and the number of years since his offense must be longer because otherwise he would have been too old at the time of the offense for a woman/girl half his age to have been illegal. Plus many states have an age of consent that's lower than 18. But let's say it's 18, the highest possible. That means at most, the victim was 17 and he was 34. But probably it was more like 15 and 30. If the sister is say, 22 now, then he's 44, which is a little less icky, but would mean he's at least ten years out from the crime and probably more. Would he still be in jail? What's the typical sentence for a first time offender? Of course the sister could only be 18 and he's 36. Ick!

Doing the math, I don't think this is likely to be a guy who's gotten over the fixation on teenage girls. I guess it's possible, but it's not looking good. The sister should dump "Roy Moore".


Two things to throw a wrench into math. In some places, it's illegal for a teacher to have sex with a student even if the student is otherwise over the age of consent. So that bumps it up to 36.

It's also possible that they mean that the student is half his age now, which would have made them less than half his age at the time. For instance, if it was 18 and 40, and now it's 4 years later and they're 22 and 44.
 
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