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(AP News)   Man gets arrested for car theft. During discussions with the judge, man reveals his favorite drink is Pepsi. Judge sentences man to four years probation and bans him from drinking Pepsi for four years   (apnews.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Automobile, 21-year-old Christopher Montilliano Jr., Judge Rhonda Loo, car theft conviction, United States, United Kingdom, Coca-Cola, years of probation  
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2513 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2019 at 4:51 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2019-03-25 04:36:17 PM  
I go, 'There's nothing wrong, mom'
And she goes, 'Don't tell me that, you're on drugs'
I go, 'No, mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay
I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi'

And she goes, 'No, you're on drugs
I go, 'Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking'
She goes, 'No you're not thinking, you're on drugs
Normal people don't act that way'

I go, 'Mom just give me a Pepsi, please'
All I want is a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi
 
2019-03-25 04:41:08 PM  
Judge said no Pepsi. He didn't say anything about Coke.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 04:45:58 PM  
they institutionalized him and all he ..oh.
boobies caught it

Sorry.
I'm in my 60s, slow.
 
2019-03-25 04:53:57 PM  
All he...

F*ck.
 
2019-03-25 04:54:00 PM  
That seems like it would fall under the "unusual" part of "cruel and unusual punishment".
 
2019-03-25 04:55:16 PM  
How the hell do the expect to enforce that condition?
 
2019-03-25 04:55:18 PM  

cgraves67: That seems like it would fall under the "unusual" part of "cruel and unusual punishment".


Here in ATL it would be considered a reprieve.

/$10 says he gets caught again in a stolen car
//With a Pepsi
 
2019-03-25 04:55:38 PM  
His friends are going to be swallowing condoms full of Pepsi before they visit him.
 
2019-03-25 04:57:10 PM  
The moral of this story is: don't trust anyone who drinks Pepsi.
 
2019-03-25 04:58:28 PM  
It amazing how much leeway the US gives judges to fark with people's lives in the pettiest of ways. I mean when they're not busy getting kick-backs from for-profit prisons.
 
2019-03-25 04:59:05 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


I hope it wasn't this guy.  Things might get dangerous.
 
2019-03-25 05:00:04 PM  

rebelyell2006: His friends are going to be swallowing condoms full of Pepsi before they visit him.


He's on probation. That'd just be weird.
 
2019-03-25 05:00:29 PM  
What in the actual fark?  What purpose does that actually serve?  How will they enforce it?  Are they going to randomly search his house?  Make him piss randomly?  Is there even a test for Pepsi like there is for coke?
 
2019-03-25 05:01:04 PM  
Just add half a glass of water to a coke? Am I missing something here?
 
2019-03-25 05:02:01 PM  
Anyone referenced this song  yet?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 05:03:48 PM  
no Pepsi, Coke.
 
2019-03-25 05:03:49 PM  

adj_m: Just add half a glass of water to a coke? Am I missing something here?


That's a half glass of soda water to you sir.   It's got electrolytes.
 
2019-03-25 05:05:21 PM  

rebelyell2006: His friends are going to be swallowing condoms full of Pepsi before they visit him.


I'm trying to imagine what flat, body-temperature, latex and spermicide flavoured cola might taste like.
 
2019-03-25 05:06:07 PM  

TheGogmagog: adj_m: Just add half a glass of water to a coke? Am I missing something here?

That's a half glass of soda water to you sir.   It's got electrolytes.


Of course, I wasn't talking about water like in a toilet.
 
2019-03-25 05:06:40 PM  
Grand theft auto, driving without a license, unable to control vehicle...

lemmi see does 100 hours of community service, a $100 fine, and no poopsi for one presidential term seem fair?
 
2019-03-25 05:09:07 PM  
I'M NOT CRAZY!!!
 
2019-03-25 05:09:08 PM  

BadReligion: I go, 'There's nothing wrong, mom'
And she goes, 'Don't tell me that, you're on drugs'
I go, 'No, mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay
I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi'

And she goes, 'No, you're on drugs
I go, 'Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking'
She goes, 'No you're not thinking, you're on drugs
Normal people don't act that way'

I go, 'Mom just give me a Pepsi, please'
All I want is a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 05:09:20 PM  

CluelessMoron: rebelyell2006: His friends are going to be swallowing condoms full of Pepsi before they visit him.

I'm trying to imagine what flat, body-temperature, latex and spermicide flavoured cola might taste like.


Delicious, obviously.
 
2019-03-25 05:09:25 PM  
Thanks judge, now the guy will just move on to bigger but less frequent crimes, causing shortages for the rest of us.

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 05:09:57 PM  

cgraves67: That seems like it would fall under the "unusual" part of "cruel and unusual punishment".


It's amusing in a random news article, but... I'm pretty well known for my Coke-drinking habits. Even at work, people notice (and laugh incredulously at) my collection of Coke cans (geez this sentence is difficult to write). But it's my psychological crutch. If someone took that away arbitrarily, I'd be pretty frickin' stressed. I dunno, man. As small and pointless as it sounds, it really kind of bothers me.
 
2019-03-25 05:11:42 PM  

CluelessMoron: rebelyell2006: His friends are going to be swallowing condoms full of Pepsi before they visit him.

I'm trying to imagine what flat, body-temperature, latex and spermicide flavoured cola might taste like.


diet Pepsi
 
2019-03-25 05:12:49 PM  
When you steal a car on an island your escape routes are limited.
 
2019-03-25 05:17:32 PM  
Anyone know how you can brew Pepsi with your prison toilet and some dirty socks? Asking for a friend.
 
2019-03-25 05:21:21 PM  
ftfa: 'pleaded no contest to charges of unauthorized control of a propelled vehicle and driving without a license.'

Driving a stolen car, plus driving without a license and he gets a pepsi fine?  As he left court did he say 'Thanks, Mom!'...?
 
2019-03-25 05:25:55 PM  
Hawaii is kind of a small place... was the car thief related to the judge?
 
2019-03-25 05:27:27 PM  

cgraves67: That seems like it would fall under the "unusual" part of "cruel and unusual punishment".


Dunno on that. "Cruel and unusual" might be requiring that his only beverage for the next 4 years be Pepsi. No one needs Pepsi to survive. It has no nutritional benefit. This would be the same as telling someone who has beer as their favorite beverage that they can't consume alcohol while on probation.
 
2019-03-25 05:29:54 PM  

vsavatar: What in the actual fark?  What purpose does that actually serve?  How will they enforce it?  Are they going to randomly search his house?  Make him piss randomly?  Is there even a test for Pepsi like there is for coke?


To make him go "Awwww, man!" at the hearing.
 
2019-03-25 05:30:34 PM  

vsavatar: Is there even a test for Pepsi like there is for coke?


It's called the Pepsi Challenge
 
2019-03-25 05:31:40 PM  

nanim: ftfa: 'pleaded no contest to charges of unauthorized control of a propelled vehicle and driving without a license.'

Driving a stolen car, plus driving without a license and he gets a pepsi fine?  As he left court did he say 'Thanks, Mom!'...?


Hawaii has a huge prison/jail overcrowding issue. So much so that they're paying $60 Million per year on a private prison in farking Arizona to house Hawaiian inmates. If this is the guy's first offense I'd say probation is probably going to be more cost effective, especially for a property crime.
 
2019-03-25 05:34:37 PM  

BadReligion: I go, 'There's nothing wrong, mom'
And she goes, 'Don't tell me that, you're on drugs'
I go, 'No, mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay
I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi'

And she goes, 'No, you're on drugs
I go, 'Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking'
She goes, 'No you're not thinking, you're on drugs
Normal people don't act that way'

I go, 'Mom just give me a Pepsi, please'
All I want is a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi


Way to go using Suicidal Tendencies, Mr. BADRELIGION
You know what bugs me?  Green Day toured with Bad Religion for a while, then got rich.  but if you listen to Green Day, their songs sound a lot like Bad Religion.  The band not the farker.
Bad Religion - Frogger
Youtube JDn8oTannUU
 
2019-03-25 05:38:29 PM  

almejita: BadReligion: I go, 'There's nothing wrong, mom'
And she goes, 'Don't tell me that, you're on drugs'
I go, 'No, mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay
I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi'

And she goes, 'No, you're on drugs
I go, 'Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking'
She goes, 'No you're not thinking, you're on drugs
Normal people don't act that way'

I go, 'Mom just give me a Pepsi, please'
All I want is a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi

Way to go using Suicidal Tendencies, Mr. BADRELIGION
You know what bugs me?  Green Day toured with Bad Religion for a while, then got rich.  but if you listen to Green Day, their songs sound a lot like Bad Religion.  The band not the farker.
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/JDn8oTan​nUU?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&enablejsapi=1&orig​in=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid​=1]


Green Day would love to sound like BR. They don't. They sound like pop music. Because they are pop music.
 
2019-03-25 05:42:24 PM  
There doesn't appear to be a nexus between the probation term and the criminal behavior.  I would think it could be removed or appealed to get it before a judge who would remove the term.  Judges do have latitude, but it has to be related to the offense.  Simply stating he was on his way to buy soft drinks during the commission of the crime appears too remote to be seen as appropriate.
 
2019-03-25 05:42:29 PM  

Mr.Hawk: almejita: BadReligion: I go, 'There's nothing wrong, mom'
And she goes, 'Don't tell me that, you're on drugs'
I go, 'No, mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay
I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi'

And she goes, 'No, you're on drugs
I go, 'Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking'
She goes, 'No you're not thinking, you're on drugs
Normal people don't act that way'

I go, 'Mom just give me a Pepsi, please'
All I want is a Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
And she wouldn't give it to me, just a Pepsi

Way to go using Suicidal Tendencies, Mr. BADRELIGION
You know what bugs me?  Green Day toured with Bad Religion for a while, then got rich.  but if you listen to Green Day, their songs sound a lot like Bad Religion.  The band not the farker.
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/JDn8oTan​nUU?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&enablejsapi=1&orig​in=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid​=1]

Green Day would love to sound like BR. They don't. They sound like pop music. Because they are pop music.


I don't know, there have been Green Day songs that came on the radio that the beginning of the song always makes me think it's Bad Religion, not the whole song, just the start.  I have a hateon for Green Day, specifically because I think Bad Religion should have gotten the recognition the Green Day got.
 
2019-03-25 05:45:20 PM  
Fill that judge's car with Pepsi syrup.  Not the tank; the interior.
 
2019-03-25 05:50:08 PM  

CluelessMoron: rebelyell2006: His friends are going to be swallowing condoms full of Pepsi before they visit him.

I'm trying to imagine what flat, body-temperature, latex and spermicide flavoured cola might taste like.


Not to mention the Pepsi being compressed upon delivery...

That's soda pressing to think about.
 
2019-03-25 05:51:41 PM  

indy_kid: Fill that judge's car with Pepsi syrup.  Not the tank; the interior.


Just don't use 7-Up syrup, cuz that's the uncola, and I wouldn't want to be around for the consequences of that mishap.
 
2019-03-25 05:55:08 PM  
hats why I tell judges. My favorite drink is Bud Lite.
 
2019-03-25 06:00:41 PM  

stuffy: hats why I tell judges. My favorite drink is Bud Lite.


I tell them it's Thai Coconut Shrimp soup.  WTF?  Coconut milk and shrimp?  Mixed with hot peppers???  Somebody bumped their head.
 
2019-03-25 06:08:05 PM  
icced
Youtube akGpGA3jYek
 
2019-03-25 06:14:47 PM  

Daedalus27: There doesn't appear to be a nexus between the probation term and the criminal behavior.  I would think it could be removed or appealed to get it before a judge who would remove the term.  Judges do have latitude, but it has to be related to the offense.  Simply stating he was on his way to buy soft drinks during the commission of the crime appears too remote to be seen as appropriate.


Exactly.  Cruel and unusual?  No.  Arbitrary and capricious?  Absofarkinglutely.
 
2019-03-25 06:18:19 PM  

Professor Science: Daedalus27: There doesn't appear to be a nexus between the probation term and the criminal behavior.  I would think it could be removed or appealed to get it before a judge who would remove the term.  Judges do have latitude, but it has to be related to the offense.  Simply stating he was on his way to buy soft drinks during the commission of the crime appears too remote to be seen as appropriate.

Exactly.  Cruel and unusual?  No.  Arbitrary and capricious?  Absofarkinglutely.


He should have said his favorite soda was Capricious Sun, I hated that shiat.
 
2019-03-25 06:26:42 PM  
This reflects more on her than it does the defendant.  I prefer Diet Pepsi if given a choice, but it doesn't hurt my feelings if my only choice is Diet Coke.  Yes there's a difference, but not so much that I can't handle it, especially if it's a fountain drink.

The guy is probably really a Mountain Dew dude anyway and gave her the old "Please don't fling me in the brier patch" mind voodoo.
 
2019-03-25 06:30:27 PM  

SBinRR: This reflects more on her than it does the defendant.  I prefer Diet Pepsi if given a choice, but it doesn't hurt my feelings if my only choice is Diet Coke.  Yes there's a difference, but not so much that I can't handle it, especially if it's a fountain drink.

The guy is probably really a Mountain Dew dude anyway and gave her the old "Please don't fling me in the brier patch" mind voodoo.


Pepsi doesn't have the bite that Coke has.  When I wake up drunk at 10 am and need something to drink, a gulp or 2 of hot Coke really wakes me up.
 
2019-03-25 06:38:08 PM  

buzzcut73: How the hell do the expect to enforce that condition?


Easy, if the cops see him at a restaurant, it gives them probable cause to harass him. Not sure about the enforceable part, but hey, has that stopped any cop or P.O. from being a control freak.
 
2019-03-25 06:41:47 PM  
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