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(NBC New York)   Woman fights off persistent NYC butt-slapper with umbrella   (nbcnewyork.com) divider line
    More: Hero, East New York, Brooklyn, 30-year-old woman, corner of Livonia Avenue, surveillance video of the woman, Queens, Brooklyn, Surveillance, Leo White  
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3839 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2019 at 12:41 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2019-03-25 08:29:26 AM  
You mean a bumbershoot?
 
2019-03-25 08:41:37 AM  

vudukungfu: You mean a bumbershoot?


bumbrella
 
2019-03-25 08:51:17 AM  
Too bad she didn't use that umbrella as a dick stabbing weapon.
 
2019-03-25 09:02:10 AM  
she beat him off with an umbrella
 
2019-03-25 12:43:16 PM  

Astorix: Too bad she didn't use that umbrella as a dick stabbing weapon.


and then, once she'd stabbed it in... open it!
 
2019-03-25 12:43:39 PM  
Umbrella Hero?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 12:44:32 PM  
What a serial buttslapper looks like:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 12:44:44 PM  
Women need to bring back hatpins.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 12:45:42 PM  
Northern State Spring rituals
 
2019-03-25 12:45:58 PM  

Karac: Women need to bring back hatpins.

[img.fark.net image 613x576]


Mrs. PCoC recently took up collecting antique hatpins. They are frightening. I can only assume that a be-hatpinned society was a polite society.
 
2019-03-25 12:47:00 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 12:47:49 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Karac: Women need to bring back hatpins.

[img.fark.net image 613x576]

Mrs. PCoC recently took up collecting antique hatpins. They are frightening. I can only assume that a be-hatpinned society was a polite society.


Or a perforated society.
 
2019-03-25 12:47:52 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: What a serial buttslapper looks like:

[img.fark.net image 450x255]


Five! Five counts of sexual battery! ahhhhhaaaaahha!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 12:49:55 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

One does not simply molest Mary Poppins.
 
2019-03-25 12:49:57 PM  

SirEattonHogg: Prank Call of Cthulhu: What a serial buttslapper looks like:

[img.fark.net image 450x255]

Five! Five counts of sexual battery! ahhhhhaaaaahha!

[img.fark.net image 850x472]


No, I think you charge him with 10 (one per cheek) and then let his lawyer plea bargain down to 5 so he thinks he got a good deal.
 
2019-03-25 12:50:02 PM  
It's ok guys.  I'm fine.
 
2019-03-25 12:50:56 PM  

theDesertHamster: vudukungfu: You mean a bumbershoot?

bumbrella


umbuttla
 
2019-03-25 12:52:14 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Karac: Women need to bring back hatpins.

[img.fark.net image 613x576]

Mrs. PCoC recently took up collecting antique hatpins. They are frightening. I can only assume that a be-hatpinned society was a polite society.


This is my girlfriends hat pin

img.fark.netView Full Size


She may look petite and fragile but she's one tough girl. A little crazy too... so much I'm afraid to leave her..

/send help please!
 
2019-03-25 12:53:26 PM  
That's the kind of guy I'd love to punch in the eye.
 
2019-03-25 12:55:31 PM  

This text is now purple: [img.fark.net image 850x478]
One does not simply molest Mary Poppins.


pbs.twimg.comView Full Size

Phooey.
 
2019-03-25 12:56:37 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

"You want to bring us out of retirement again? What stupid recent folklore are you worried about this time, Mulder? Shadow people? Slenderman? Momo?"

"Something much more insidious, Scully! The NYC butt-slapper!"

"I'm not turning off the Hallmark Channel and getting off the couch for that. Besides, didn't the video footage prove that was you?"

"That's why I need your help! I've got to pin this on a doppleganger or a robot clone or a Skrull or something! I... I admit I have a problem, okay? But now my pension's on the line!"
 
2019-03-25 12:56:45 PM  
"the man continuously slapped her from behind and grabed her"

He did what now? It sounds bad.
 
2019-03-25 12:56:48 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 12:59:50 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: This text is now purple: [img.fark.net image 850x478]
One does not simply molest Mary Poppins.

[pbs.twimg.com image 750x422]
Phooey.


img.fark.netView Full Size

Your call.
 
2019-03-25 01:03:42 PM  
I categorize men into three categories.  Those who respect women.  Those who can be taught to respect women.  And those who will never respect women, because even when they know their behavior is wrong, they will persist in it.  This guy is obviously the later category.  I suggest we draft them all into some kind of space pioneer force where they will be sent to distant reaches of the solar system where they will have the choice of either sitting the ground work for future settlements on Mars and other interesting objectives.  We then wait for them to die off and then send the real settlers.
 
2019-03-25 01:07:58 PM  
Hopefully she doesn't get a ticket for Jaywalking
 
2019-03-25 01:11:38 PM  
That was more like a physical assault than a butt grope. The man chased her, hit her multiple times and tried to grab her.  Calling it "butt slapping" makes it seem a lot less serious than it was.
 
2019-03-25 01:12:06 PM  
slapnuts?
 
2019-03-25 01:19:31 PM  
Carry a cane, even if you don't need one. They'll leave a very satisfying bruise when you whack an assailant with one.
 
2019-03-25 01:19:59 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size



Yawn. I was picturing something more like this...

 
2019-03-25 01:25:32 PM  

This text is now purple: [img.fark.net image 850x478]
One does not simply molest Mary Poppins.


Damn straight.

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You've got to shoot him in the fin first.
 
2019-03-25 01:26:14 PM  
The man eventually ran away, but hasn't been seen since.

Ya know, she could have been yelling at him, "beat it!"
 
2019-03-25 01:28:12 PM  
Needs Yakkity Sax playing over it.
 
2019-03-25 01:28:15 PM  

winedrinkingman: I categorize men into three categories.  Those who respect women.  Those who can be taught to respect women.  And those who will never respect women, because even when they know their behavior is wrong, they will persist in it.  This guy is obviously the later category.  I suggest we draft them all into some kind of space pioneer force where they will be sent to distant reaches of the solar system where they will have the choice of either sitting the ground work for future settlements on Mars and other interesting objectives.  We then wait for them to die off and then send the real settlers.


Have them do the rough dangerous terraforming work, make sure all supply rockets are one-way only, and make it last a few generations so that by the time it is done, their behavior is considered an extreme aberration? What's not to love?
 
2019-03-25 01:28:43 PM  

winedrinkingman: I categorize men into three categories.  Those who respect women.  Those who can be taught to respect women.  And those who will never respect women, because even when they know their behavior is wrong, they will persist in it.  This guy is obviously the later category.  I suggest we draft them all into some kind of space pioneer force where they will be sent to distant reaches of the solar system where they will have the choice of either sitting the ground work for future settlements on Mars and other interesting objectives.  We then wait for them to die off and then send the real settlers.


You can categorize all people that way. It's a matter of empathy, not gender. Some people truly care about others (though generally they care most about the people they're close to or feel some connection with - it's rare for anyone to really care about everyone). Some either learn to care or at least learn the importance of appearing to care. And some couldn't give the slightest damn about anyone but themselves. Sexual aggression is just one of many ways where the differences in people's empathy levels make themselves known.
 
2019-03-25 01:29:41 PM  

winedrinkingman: I categorize men into three categories.  Those who respect women.  Those who can be taught to respect women.  And those who will never respect women, because even when they know their behavior is wrong, they will persist in it.  This guy is obviously the later category.  I suggest we draft them all into some kind of space pioneer force where they will be sent to distant reaches of the solar system where they will have the choice of either sitting the ground work for future settlements on Mars and other interesting objectives.  We then wait for them to die off and then send the real settlers.


What if they try sexually assaulting the female officers of an alien space fleet, so that said fleet makes a bee line to Earth to wipe out the entire planet of whatever the aliens call perverts?
 
2019-03-25 01:33:07 PM  

Trocadero: winedrinkingman: I categorize men into three categories.  Those who respect women.  Those who can be taught to respect women.  And those who will never respect women, because even when they know their behavior is wrong, they will persist in it.  This guy is obviously the later category.  I suggest we draft them all into some kind of space pioneer force where they will be sent to distant reaches of the solar system where they will have the choice of either sitting the ground work for future settlements on Mars and other interesting objectives.  We then wait for them to die off and then send the real settlers.

What if they try sexually assaulting the female officers of an alien space fleet, so that said fleet makes a bee line to Earth to wipe out the entire planet of whatever the aliens call perverts?


Have you been reading my Star Trek original series fan fiction again?
 
2019-03-25 01:37:14 PM  
" Lord have mercy, baby's got her blue jeans on."
 
2019-03-25 01:39:50 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Karac: Women need to bring back hatpins.

[img.fark.net image 613x576]

Mrs. PCoC recently took up collecting antique hatpins. They are frightening. I can only assume that a be-hatpinned society was a polite society.


Has she read Going Postal to see just how popular acuphilia is?
 
2019-03-25 01:40:07 PM  

Karac: Women need to bring back hatpins.

[img.fark.net image 613x576]

My grandmother (born in San Fransisco in 1894) always said, "A girl's best friend is her hatpin..."

 
2019-03-25 01:53:53 PM  
so was it raining or she just has trouble remembering the pass phrase?
 
2019-03-25 01:55:38 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 01:56:55 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: What a serial buttslapper looks like:

[img.fark.net image 450x255]


Where's one of those lamppost dismemberments when you need one?
 
2019-03-25 01:58:09 PM  
Meanwhile the NYC persistent pussy grabber was meeting with Netanyahu.
 
2019-03-25 01:59:32 PM  
Time to bring back bartitsu. Umbrellas are just poofy canes after all.
 
2019-03-25 02:18:57 PM  

Astorix: Too bad she didn't use that umbrella as a dick stabbing weapon.


Too bad she couldn't just shoot him. But it is NYC.
 
2019-03-25 02:20:41 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-25 02:29:01 PM  
Bottom, The Chess Fight
Youtube GvBrU1Cofms
 
2019-03-25 02:29:49 PM  
/skip to 2:24. My skills are weak.
 
2019-03-25 02:35:31 PM  

OldJames: [img.fark.net image 577x433]


Was tempted to make that and post it.
 
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