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8765 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2019 at 1:17 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2019-03-14 11:51:38 AM  
Facebook deserves to die because of stupid posts like this one alone.
 
2019-03-14 11:58:38 AM  
That was really nice of Mike_LowELL's mom.
 
2019-03-14 12:04:29 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Facebook deserves to die because of stupid posts like this one alone.


Then, where can we get gems like this to mock?
 
2019-03-14 12:17:58 PM  

Grumpy Cat: Farking Clown Shoes: Facebook deserves to die because of stupid posts like this one alone.

Then, where can we get gems like this to mock?


If I want to read about stupid people and things that never happened, I'll go to Reddit.
 
2019-03-14 12:19:18 PM  
Somebody published this.
 
2019-03-14 12:23:59 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Grumpy Cat: Farking Clown Shoes: Facebook deserves to die because of stupid posts like this one alone.

Then, where can we get gems like this to mock?

If I want to read about stupid people and things that never happened, I'll go to Reddit.


I'm not disagreeing with you, per se. ... Yet, here we are commenting.
 
2019-03-14 01:21:34 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 01:22:04 PM  
Mom, I've over here...

/old joke is old
//also internet TV is just called TV
 
2019-03-14 01:22:06 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
Mom must not have seen "I Love You, Man".
 
2019-03-14 01:22:27 PM  

sboyle1020: Mom, I've over here...

/old joke is old
//also internet TV is just called TV


fail, ignore me
 
2019-03-14 01:22:56 PM  
I think I've seen this video, where "mom" inadvertently helps out "son" with his "relaxation".
 
2019-03-14 01:24:03 PM  

ChipNASA: [i.kym-cdn.com image 372x483]


That's a plus 1 funny!
 
2019-03-14 01:24:06 PM  

nytmare: I think I've seen this video, where "mom" inadvertently helps out "son" with his "relaxation".


....go on....
 
2019-03-14 01:24:11 PM  
It's the Daily Fail so I now doubt the existence of moms, porn, kleenex, and masturbation.
 
2019-03-14 01:27:08 PM  
I am 49 years old.  And married to an attractive younger woman, and dated many women in my life.

I still masturbate, masturbated then, masturbate now.  Wife ain't always around, and you know, at my age, you got to take advantage of those rando boners.

But anywho...

I learned in the early 1980s yanking it with vaseline or cream was just a hassle it gets everywhere and you have to then get up and wash your dick off or take a shower.  Jerking it with jelly is amateur hour.

If I would have asked my parents for "hand cream and tissues" my dad would have said "is flogging the dolphin your new hobby?"
 
2019-03-14 01:27:11 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: It's the Daily Fail so I now doubt the existence of moms, porn, kleenex, and masturbation.


I call foul on the last part of your statement, if you believe the Daily Mail exists then you must know that wankers exist.
 
2019-03-14 01:27:22 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Grumpy Cat: Farking Clown Shoes: Facebook deserves to die because of stupid posts like this one alone.

Then, where can we get gems like this to mock?

If I want to read about stupid people and things that never happened, I'll go to Reddit.


Maybe it did and maybe it didn't.  My wife had a coworker(both RN's) who was so proud of how clean her 15 year old son kept himself.  She was commenting on how he took 2 or 3 showers a day  It finally dawned on her why he was probably taking that many showers after my wife gave her a verbal nudge.  Moms and dads can have a big blind spot when it comes to their "babies"
 
2019-03-14 01:27:22 PM  

nytmare: I think I've seen this video, where "mom" inadvertently helps out "son" with his "relaxation".


I thought I'd seen that one too, until I realized that in the one I saw, it didn't look very "inadvertent".
 
2019-03-14 01:31:27 PM  
images.gawker.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 01:33:14 PM  
I hear her son is a real jackoff.
 
2019-03-14 01:34:58 PM  

theflatline: I am 49 years old.  And married to an attractive younger woman, and dated many women in my life.

I still masturbate, masturbated then, masturbate now.  Wife ain't always around, and you know, at my age, you got to take advantage of those rando boners.


I think that's why the Judge won't allow you within 1,000 feet of a school.
 
2019-03-14 01:35:42 PM  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size


That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...
 
2019-03-14 01:35:53 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [images.gawker.com image 636x718]


She nearly gave her 3rd son an accurate Christian name.
 
2019-03-14 01:42:52 PM  

UncleDirtNap: theflatline: I am 49 years old.  And married to an attractive younger woman, and dated many women in my life.

I still masturbate, masturbated then, masturbate now.  Wife ain't always around, and you know, at my age, you got to take advantage of those rando boners.

I think that's why the Judge won't allow you within 1,000 feet of a school.


Let thee who never rubbed one out cast the first stone. That is in the bible bro, why do you hate Jesus?
 
2019-03-14 01:43:24 PM  
Key & Peele - MC Mom - Uncensored
Youtube jxsD6ecxDUg
 
2019-03-14 01:45:58 PM  

guestguy: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x475]

That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...


Why would there be a ceramic doe in a boy's bedroom.
 
2019-03-14 01:46:19 PM  
My MIL bought my teenage son a one gallon jug of hand lotion for Christmas a couple of years ago as a "joke" but we all knew he'd use it. When one of my nieces asked "why does he need so much lotion" we all laughed.
 
2019-03-14 01:47:05 PM  
"Relaxation Station"

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 01:48:49 PM  

guestguy: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x475]

That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...


img.fark.netView Full Size

"I've seen some shiat. Shiat you people wouldn't believe. BBW threesomes in the back of a bus. Dwarf footjobs. Ball torture. Tease and denial. First-time ebony anal MILFs. All these moments will be lost in time, like kleenex in the trash. Time to fap."
 
2019-03-14 01:50:34 PM  

guestguy: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x475]

That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...


. the son on the kinkier days, likes the audience
 
2019-03-14 01:50:49 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Even god himself promotes whacking

// day
 
2019-03-14 01:52:32 PM  

guestguy: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x475]

That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...


When first placed on the table that statue was bronze
 
2019-03-14 01:55:51 PM  

guestguy: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x475]

That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...


It was originally brown
 
2019-03-14 01:56:14 PM  
This thread delivered.

I remember when I thought I was being.ckever and sneaky at age 15. HA!
 
2019-03-14 01:56:20 PM  
This is very extremely real, to the max.
 
2019-03-14 01:57:34 PM  
Holy crap, no one posted this yet?  C'mon, fark.
Kid asks his dad for hand lotion
Youtube kAl0OzthVF8
 
2019-03-14 01:58:32 PM  
Luxury! In my day, had to get up before the parents and drag the mattress to the car wash to clean off any offending evidence. While the mattress is drying, we would was the sheets boiling them in hot water for if one sperm were to live and an innocent woman were to sit nearby it, that sperm could fertilize that woman and summon the stork.

Everything gets dragged back home and put back in place before anyone awakens.

On the way to school, you have to stop in the church and atone for your sins. Gawd help you if Jackie was in front of you in the confessional line. That a$$ had its own fan club.
 
2019-03-14 01:58:51 PM  
Okay, what's the deal with hand lotion? Is that like something circumsionees need due to a lack of foreskin or something?
 
2019-03-14 01:59:22 PM  

stuffy: guestguy: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x475]

That baby deer (?) sculpture has the thousand yard splooge stare...

Why would there be a ceramic doe in a boy's bedroom.


I guess she could have put a crucifix there to try to quell some of the urges, as though Jesus would look down unapprovingly at this ungodly activity, but chances are the kid would start staring at the holes in Jesus' hands and start thinking...
 
2019-03-14 02:00:25 PM  

freetomato: [img.fark.net image 500x497]Mom must not have seen "I Love You, Man".


I belive the correct name for such a room is "masturbatorium"
 
2019-03-14 02:04:25 PM  
Is this one of the moms that was making porn for their kids?
 
2019-03-14 02:04:30 PM  
Mom figured out he was less cranky.
 
2019-03-14 02:06:44 PM  
My extended family has dinner together every Sunday night. A few weeks ago my sister-in-law blurted out something about my 14 year-old nephew's newfound enthusiasm for hour-long showers, and mentioned that she'd found a ruler caught in his sheets when she went to make his bed. He very resignedly said "Thanks for telling Grandma about that, Mom."
 
2019-03-14 02:09:02 PM  

The Garden State: and mentioned that she'd found a ruler caught in his sheets when she went to make his bed


pics.me.meView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 02:09:03 PM  
I put some pens in a coffee cup on my desk. Isn't that a great hack? No one else could have come up with a hack like that. I'm a hacking genius I hacked the hacking hell out of the hack. They call me Big Hack Peaches now. Hackity-hack-hack.
 
2019-03-14 02:12:12 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: The Garden State: and mentioned that she'd found a ruler caught in his sheets when she went to make his bed

[pics.me.me image 500x566]


What, you've never measured your width?
 
2019-03-14 02:12:14 PM  

big pig peaches: I put some pens in a coffee cup on my desk. Isn't that a great hack? No one else could have come up with a hack like that. I'm a hacking genius I hacked the hacking hell out of the hack. They call me Big Hack Peaches now. Hackity-hack-hack.


Can't score a girlfriend? Try this one weird life hack involving hand lotion and facial tissues!
 
2019-03-14 02:14:37 PM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Facebook deserves to die because of stupid posts like this one alone.


I agree that it should die, but not because of this fake story...
 
2019-03-14 02:15:15 PM  

theflatline: I am 49 years old.  And married to an attractive younger woman, and dated many women in my life.

I still masturbate, masturbated then, masturbate now.  Wife ain't always around, and you know, at my age, you got to take advantage of those rando boners.

But anywho...

I learned in the early 1980s yanking it with vaseline or cream was just a hassle it gets everywhere and you have to then get up and wash your dick off or take a shower.  Jerking it with jelly is amateur hour.

If I would have asked my parents for "hand cream and tissues" my dad would have said "is flogging the dolphin your new hobby?"


I'm going to need proof
 
2019-03-14 02:15:56 PM  

Gpzjock: Prank Call of Cthulhu: It's the Daily Fail so I now doubt the existence of moms, porn, kleenex, and masturbation.

I call foul on the last part of your statement, if you believe the Daily Mail exists then you must know that wankers exist.


For a moment there, I almost doubted the existence of Facebook.
 
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