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(Fox 59)   Man finds body underneath his 900-pound antique floor safe after suspected break-in. Jesse Pinkman nods approvingly   (fox59.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Door, Homeowner George Hollingsworth, Marion man, Marion Fire Department, antique floor, MARION, Safe, Police  
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6022 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2019 at 10:35 AM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-03-14 09:52:41 AM  
The body of a wiley cayote?
 
2019-03-14 10:03:24 AM  

Mad Scientist: The body of a wiley cayote?


Checks catalog for rocket powered self-shaking tiny fist.

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2019-03-14 10:06:51 AM  
Life imitates art - old-timey pop-culture.
 
2019-03-14 10:37:47 AM  
Dude literally Looney Tunes'd his way out of life.
 
2019-03-14 10:38:20 AM  
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someone call Eddie Valiant
 
2019-03-14 10:39:39 AM  
Safe word not used.
 
2019-03-14 10:40:48 AM  
Safe!
No, he's out.
Like, far out, man.
 
2019-03-14 10:41:18 AM  
If there's one thing the Internet and Storage Wars has taught me is that no one keeps anything of interest or value in a safe.
 
2019-03-14 10:41:37 AM  
Did they mail the body to the Coroner?
 
2019-03-14 10:42:40 AM  
That's so sad, I'm so crushed to hear that.
 
2019-03-14 10:43:22 AM  
Done in one.
 
2019-03-14 10:43:44 AM  

cowgirl toffee: Safe word not used.


I think the safe word was "AAAAAaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhh..!
 
2019-03-14 10:43:52 AM  
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2019-03-14 10:45:13 AM  

steklo: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 360x254]


Another day older and deeper in debt
 
2019-03-14 10:47:17 AM  
The thief was hard-pressed to find some cash.
 
2019-03-14 10:50:28 AM  
Autopsy - He was crushed by a safe
 
2019-03-14 10:50:49 AM  
I thought a "floor safe" was on that was built into the floor.  Here I was trying to figure out how a guy ended up below that.

FTFA:  An autopsy on the body has been scheduled.

I think it's safe to say 'crushed by his own stupidity' was the cause.
 
2019-03-14 10:54:40 AM  
The thief was safed by being un-safe with a safe, and could not be saved.
 
2019-03-14 10:56:29 AM  
He's not going to get away with it.
These sorts of elaborate "perfect crime" murderers always end up overlooking some crucial detail, and getting caught.
 
2019-03-14 10:56:44 AM  
The Coroner arrives...
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2019-03-14 10:57:23 AM  
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2019-03-14 10:58:44 AM  
So, I'm unclear here.
Did the police not see the body when they came after the call?
I mean, I get most such calls are just to give you a piece of paper for your insurance, assuming you have one.
Or was this an old-timey corpse that's been there when he bought the house?
Was this one of the burglars who got crushed?

Nothing to help with the timeline.
 
2019-03-14 10:58:46 AM  
Better that than locking himself inside, hoping to have it dropped off at the break in location.

/was he a skank?
 
2019-03-14 10:59:40 AM  

Mycroft_Holmes_IV: I thought a "floor safe" was on that was built into the floor.  Here I was trying to figure out how a guy ended up below that.

FTFA:  An autopsy on the body has been scheduled.

I think it's safe to say 'crushed by his own stupidity' was the cause.


I suspect the autopsy will be to determine who they used to be.  And it wouldn't hurt to confirm that they were in fact alive before being crushed by the safe.  (I watch too many detective shows.)
 
2019-03-14 11:06:45 AM  
(the safe was suspended by a floor jack)

Yeah, that totally wasn't a booby trap.

Good on him for keeping his mouth shut, though.
 
2019-03-14 11:24:27 AM  

Resident Muslim: So, I'm unclear here.
Did the police not see the body when they came after the call?


The police may not have come at all after the first call.  The man reported a possible burglary after seeing door damage.  Maybe the cops concluded there wasn't yet reason to investigate beyond filing the paper for the guy's insurance.

Was this one of the burglars who got crushed?

Looks that way.  The guy called about the possible burglary on the 12th, began cleaning his garage on the 13th, found the body under a sideways safe that didn't used to be sideways, and then the cops showed up in earnest.
 
2019-03-14 11:30:39 AM  

Resident Muslim: So, I'm unclear here.
Did the police not see the body when they came after the call?

They aren't going to investigate much when the guy can't say if anything is missing."Hollingsworth said his garage was packed with clutter, so he started cleaning it the following day to see if anything was stolen."
 
2019-03-14 11:36:09 AM  

steklo: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 360x254]


I would love a floor safe shaped like a 16T weight.
 
2019-03-14 11:44:56 AM  

flondrix: Mycroft_Holmes_IV: I thought a "floor safe" was on that was built into the floor.  Here I was trying to figure out how a guy ended up below that.

FTFA:  An autopsy on the body has been scheduled.

I think it's safe to say 'crushed by his own stupidity' was the cause.

I suspect the autopsy will be to determine who they used to be.  And it wouldn't hurt to confirm that they were in fact alive before being crushed by the safe.  (I watch too many detective shows.)


When the facts come out, it's some ex-boyfriend of the guy's wife that's been blackmailing them for some time.  Turns out Mr. Pancake was knocked unconscious with sleeping pills, had his hands cut off, and was shot in the back.  The safe was just a clever cover-up.
 
2019-03-14 11:52:31 AM  

flondrix: Mycroft_Holmes_IV: I thought a "floor safe" was on that was built into the floor.  Here I was trying to figure out how a guy ended up below that.

FTFA:  An autopsy on the body has been scheduled.

I think it's safe to say 'crushed by his own stupidity' was the cause.

I suspect the autopsy will be to determine who they used to be.  And it wouldn't hurt to confirm that they were in fact alive before being crushed by the safe.  (I watch too many detective shows.)


My god, that is right. So many times, the wife is having an affair with the priest, and the gardener finds out and has to be electrocuted with a leaf blower in the hot tub, then wrapped in an Indian print blanket made with a rare henna dye and from the wool of a llama found only in Vermont were the fibers shed, but only a handful of Columbian weavers use, then transported at night, in the trunk of a late model SUV to a cluttered garage, where a safe is jacked up and dropped on it to make it look like an accident.
 
2019-03-14 12:03:12 PM  
The safe was being held up by a jack? That doesn't sound safe at all.
 
2019-03-14 12:04:17 PM  

kbronsito: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 718x509]

someone call Eddie Valiant


I thought he changed his name to Jack Daniels.

 
2019-03-14 12:06:11 PM  
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2019-03-14 12:15:24 PM  
"I don't know, your honor, we had a fight, she went out to the garage and that's when I heard that horrible sound"

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2019-03-14 12:19:55 PM  
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I've been feeling a little flat lately
 
2019-03-14 12:36:24 PM  
I was almost crushed once, by a 900lb object, but subby's mom had a headache that night.
 
2019-03-14 12:44:33 PM  

hogans: [img.fark.net image 674x455]


Loved that scene. Left me terrified of dentists visits for several decades.
 
2019-03-14 12:53:20 PM  
I was going to ask why the Road Runner wasn't available for the headline, but I see I wasn't fast enough.

<meep> <meep>
 
2019-03-14 01:08:31 PM  

vudukungfu: flondrix: Mycroft_Holmes_IV: I thought a "floor safe" was on that was built into the floor.  Here I was trying to figure out how a guy ended up below that.

FTFA:  An autopsy on the body has been scheduled.

I think it's safe to say 'crushed by his own stupidity' was the cause.

I suspect the autopsy will be to determine who they used to be.  And it wouldn't hurt to confirm that they were in fact alive before being crushed by the safe.  (I watch too many detective shows.)

My god, that is right. So many times, the wife is having an affair with the priest, and the gardener finds out and has to be electrocuted with a leaf blower in the hot tub, then wrapped in an Indian print blanket made with a rare henna dye and from the wool of a llama found only in Vermont were the fibers shed, but only a handful of Columbian weavers use, then transported at night, in the trunk of a late model SUV to a cluttered garage, where a safe is jacked up and dropped on it to make it look like an accident.


You're the klller aren't you?
 
2019-03-14 01:25:09 PM  
With all the junk he kept in there it's a shame he didn't have a tire pump.
 
2019-03-14 01:59:26 PM  
Soon to be sued by the family that wanted nothing to do with the dead guy.
 
2019-03-14 02:39:27 PM  
I'm still struggling to see how one would support a 900 lb safe with a floor jack. I have a very modest 600# safe at home. It is bolted to the concrete foundation and leveled using nylon shims. why would anyone put a safe on top of a floor jack? it's almost as if you want it to fall on someone who unwittingly wanders into your garage, then puts out a hand to balance themselves while stepping over a pile of junk...

oh.

bravo, bravo. thief got "all the loot that he could carry"
 
2019-03-14 03:01:04 PM  

WhackingDay: If there's one thing the Internet and Storage Wars has taught me is that no one keeps anything of interest or value in a safe.


That's why we have safes, to distract the thieves from the real loot sitting on the shelf over there.
 
2019-03-14 03:20:12 PM  

UncleDirtNap: Did they mail the body to the Coroner?
---


No, they just slid it under the door.
 
2019-03-14 04:23:05 PM  

God--: vudukungfu: flondrix: Mycroft_Holmes_IV: I thought a "floor safe" was on that was built into the floor.  Here I was trying to figure out how a guy ended up below that.

FTFA:  An autopsy on the body has been scheduled.

I think it's safe to say 'crushed by his own stupidity' was the cause.

I suspect the autopsy will be to determine who they used to be.  And it wouldn't hurt to confirm that they were in fact alive before being crushed by the safe.  (I watch too many detective shows.)

My god, that is right. So many times, the wife is having an affair with the priest, and the gardener finds out and has to be electrocuted with a leaf blower in the hot tub, then wrapped in an Indian print blanket made with a rare henna dye and from the wool of a llama found only in Vermont were the fibers shed, but only a handful of Columbian weavers use, then transported at night, in the trunk of a late model SUV to a cluttered garage, where a safe is jacked up and dropped on it to make it look like an accident.

You're the klller aren't you?


*smoke bomb*
 
2019-03-14 05:38:32 PM  
Perhaps the guy thought it would be safe?

As for a floor jack--perhaps there's something wrong and the safe won't sit level--the jack being used to make it stand up properly.
 
2019-03-14 11:05:09 PM  
Hollingsworth's garage was packed with clutter, so he started cleaning it the following day to see if anything was stolen.

I totally haven't lived this particular part of the story.

/"they might have ransacked my hobby room, but it's a little hard to be sure..."
 
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