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(New York Daily News)   Gambino boss Franky Boy Cali run over by a pickup truck and shot a dozen times. In other words, just your typical Staten Island Wednesday night   (nydailynews.com) divider line
    More: News, Gambino crime family, Cali's murder, Paul Castellano, execution of Gambino boss Paul Castellano, Mafia, Carlo Gambino, John Gotti, members of the Sicilian Mafia  
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3546 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2019 at 2:55 AM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2019-03-14 12:11:08 AM  
Should I do the

a) classic old being run over by a pick-up and shot several times counts as "accidental death" joke, i.e. The Staten Island variations on old Mafia/political song and dance routines

or

b) the Childish Gambino joke, which has the advantage of being modish if not precisely à l'heure, but might offend the white mafia of Staten Island, if not of Manhatten or Queens?
 
2019-03-14 12:13:21 AM  
I like Childish Gambino. He's cute. And acute. Spunky, funky, sort of hunky for a very small guy.

But I have to recknon with the other Gambino family, too, so mustn't be as snide and duck lipped as Donald Jerk Trump or I might get whacked, if only by a Fark Conservative or troll.

Skins versus stuffed shirts. It is a quandry.
 
2019-03-14 12:23:50 AM  
quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 01:02:03 AM  
Was the truck ok?

Gee, I hope the truck was ok.
 
2019-03-14 01:28:38 AM  
Ran over by a pickup? Geez the mob's been reduced to ripping of Sopranos hits
 
2019-03-14 01:32:35 AM  
These guys are still around? Aren't they the biatch boys of the Russian Bratva by now?
 
2019-03-14 02:17:25 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

I knew it would be Frankie the Squeeler. He can't help it. He just likes squealing. It makes him feel big. Johnny Tightlips would never rat.
img.fark.netView Full Size

But what do I tell your mother?

Who says I have a mother?
 
2019-03-14 03:07:52 AM  
FTA:

Cali's murder recalled the execution of Gambino boss Paul Castellano in 1985

.
A good line, but not remotely true.

Everyday people across the country back in 1985 had a notion of who Paul Castellano was.
 
2019-03-14 03:09:27 AM  
People should be careful walking near traffic with bullets in their pockets.  Sometimes they accidentally fall in front of a pickup truck onto their bullets.

Also, FTA: Another woman "was just making loud noises," the witness said.

That's how you summon Brick Tamland for some action team style street justice.

uproxx.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 03:10:02 AM  
Written with the help of Rocco Parascandola.I love that the best sounding mob name in the article is the guy who works at the Daily News to decipher this shiat.
 
2019-03-14 03:11:27 AM  
It's a damn shame when a perfectly legitimate businessman who loves his country and community
so much he is willing to put his life on the line for our rights vis-a-vis the Second Amendment is attacked in a clear case of unprovoked road rage.

Just a damn shame. Why isn't America being made greater again?
 
2019-03-14 03:13:59 AM  
Manafort gets sentenced and now a mob boss gets whacked? Coincidence?...

...Probably.
 
2019-03-14 03:15:32 AM  
Talk about waste management
 
2019-03-14 03:16:01 AM  
Another woman "was just making loud noises," the witness said.

Very descriptive. Loud noises. Got it.
 
2019-03-14 03:24:42 AM  
Sounds like the boys done something rash.
 
2019-03-14 03:43:33 AM  
NEXT!
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 03:46:20 AM  

No Catchy Nickname: Another woman "was just making loud noises," the witness said.

Very descriptive. Loud noises. Got it.


I grew up in Brooklyn and have attended Italian-American funerals.  The description is probably adequate and accurate.
 
2019-03-14 03:50:02 AM  
I thought Staten Island was a place where they parked garbage trucks at night.
BTW, I heard he moved to Staten Island because he thought it would reduce his cholesterol.
 
2019-03-14 03:56:10 AM  

Dahnkster: I thought Staten Island was a place where they parked garbage trucks at night.
BTW, I heard he moved to Staten Island because he thought it would reduce his cholesterol.



Is your veal cruelty-free?
 
2019-03-14 04:03:22 AM  
Dr. Ben Sobel: I thought you were in prison?
Jelly: It would appear not.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, well, how'd you get out?
Jelly: I had a new trial. It turns out that the evidence in the first trial was, uh, you know, tainted.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, I see.
Jelly: Anyway, two of the witnesses decided not to testify, uh, and the third guy, well, he commited suicide.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh? How?
Jelly: He stabbed himself in the back four times and threw himself off a bridge... very unfortunate
 
2019-03-14 04:10:31 AM  
Wait until they find the fargin ice hole who ordered this sonomabatching hit. He'll end up with his bells in a sling.
 
2019-03-14 04:14:00 AM  
Last week the Columbo boss died in prison. Interesting read.

Wonder if some final orders were sent, or if it's the mobsters seeing who is the biggest to take over the scene with a shake-up.
 
2019-03-14 04:17:29 AM  
A good start.
 
2019-03-14 04:20:13 AM  
Is he okay???
 
TWX
2019-03-14 04:25:19 AM  

Practical_Draconian: Last week the Columbo boss died in prison. Interesting read.

Wonder if some final orders were sent, or if it's the mobsters seeing who is the biggest to take over the scene with a shake-up.


I was thinking the latter, since I'd expect the one dying in prison would've wanted to see the results of his orders carried out while still alive. It wouldn't surprise me if his living was helping keep his associates alive, and even if it's not a play for power in general his death opened up the possibility of old scores being settled.
 
2019-03-14 04:47:37 AM  
Ok, now do the rest.
 
2019-03-14 04:53:00 AM  
When someone in these organisations say something like "Hear about Franky?" does everyone else in the room suddenly look awkward wondering exactly which Franky it being talked about?
 
2019-03-14 05:07:45 AM  
Reading the preseason lineup, it sounds like the Gambino family was the one to beat, and the Genovese family was the one trying to beat them. The feds disqualified the Luccheses, the Bonannos disqualified themselves, and the Colombos are fighting themselves.
 
2019-03-14 05:12:48 AM  

No Catchy Nickname: Another woman "was just making loud noises," the witness said.

Very descriptive. Loud noises. Got it.


Dames gotta do dame stuff.
 
2019-03-14 05:21:02 AM  
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 05:35:55 AM  
Which is worse: getting run over by a pickup and shot a dozen times on Staten Island, or being forced to live the rest of your life in a place where the spaghetti and marinara sauce is egg noodles and ketchup?
 
2019-03-14 05:41:29 AM  
I had no idea that the "Mafia" was still a ting.   Honestly, the Kardassians have taken over the world....no one has ordered a gang hit on them.


Also, correct me if I am wrong, but Staten Island is an Island...right..I mean, I am from the flyover area, so what do I know but cow tipping and pig farking.  How far could this perp go?
 
2019-03-14 05:46:57 AM  
So that's what all the ruckus was (most emergency services take the road I live on to get to todt hill)
 
2019-03-14 05:47:57 AM  
Well, he's in a better place now.
Or
Alls well that ends well

Could go either way

Still, I prefer:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 05:49:49 AM  

Shirley Ujest: I had no idea that the "Mafia" was still a ting.   Honestly, the Kardassians have taken over the world....no one has ordered a gang hit on them.


Also, correct me if I am wrong, but Staten Island is an Island...right..I mean, I am from the flyover area, so what do I know but cow tipping and pig farking.  How far could this perp go?


JFK
 
2019-03-14 05:55:49 AM  

Tanqueray: Written with the help of Rocco Parascandola.I love that the best sounding mob name in the article is the guy who works at the Daily News to decipher this shiat.


The article did read like fan fiction so this makes perfect farking sense.
 
2019-03-14 05:59:06 AM  

H31N0US: Shirley Ujest: I had no idea that the "Mafia" was still a ting.   Honestly, the Kardassians have taken over the world....no one has ordered a gang hit on them.


Also, correct me if I am wrong, but Staten Island is an Island...right..I mean, I am from the flyover area, so what do I know but cow tipping and pig farking.  How far could this perp go?

JFK


I mean, islands amirite?
They just floating out there all being islands or whatever it is they really do.
Nobody knows.
A mystery, those.
 
2019-03-14 06:13:10 AM  
Natural causes

Hey, that is natural causes for the mob, like beheading is natural causes for royalty
 
2019-03-14 06:32:13 AM  

Practical_Draconian: Last week the Columbo boss died in prison. Interesting read.

Wonder if some final orders were sent, or if it's the mobsters seeing who is the biggest to take over the scene with a shake-up.


Killed by TRUMP! The Snake couldn't get his meds because of the government shutdown.
 
2019-03-14 06:37:41 AM  
Don jr last seen driving away in said pick up....
 
2019-03-14 06:39:27 AM  

derpes_simplex: No Catchy Nickname: Another woman "was just making loud noises," the witness said.

Very descriptive. Loud noises. Got it.

I grew up in Brooklyn and have attended Italian-American funerals.  The description is probably adequate and accurate.


As an Italian-American from Brooklyn, I'd be offended if you weren't entirely accurate.

I live in the South now, but we're friends with an Italian family who owns a local pizza restaurant who, very sadly, lost a daughter.  At the funeral there were a ton of southerners, some catholic but mostly protestant, but ALL extremely uncomfortable when the mother started to wail.  You could tell by the wide-eyed staring and the looking around, that none of the people in that room have ever heard a sound like that before.  It was both incredibly sad and kind of amusing at the same time.
 
Izo [TotalFark]
2019-03-14 06:45:35 AM  

baka-san: Natural causes

Hey, that is natural causes for the mob, like beheading is natural causes for royalty


Occupational Hazard
 
2019-03-14 07:04:40 AM  

colinspooky: When someone in these organisations say something like "Hear about Franky?" does everyone else in the room suddenly look awkward wondering exactly which Franky it being talked about?


Al: So, ah, who's your friend?
Frank Vitale: That's Big Mickey from Kansas City. A friend of ours.
Sante: I thought Big Mickey was dead.
Frank Vitale: The father. This is Little Big Mickey.
Al: Wasn't there a Little Big Mickey out of Chicago?
Frank Vitale: Yeah, yeah, that's the original Little Big Mickey. This is Little Big Mickey Blue Eyes.
 
2019-03-14 07:18:56 AM  
Live by the sword, die by the... pickup truck. And the sword.
 
2019-03-14 07:34:26 AM  
There is no mafia.
 
2019-03-14 07:46:32 AM  
Fark that greasy piece of shiat.
Stick him in the grind and move on.
 
2019-03-14 07:46:57 AM  

Dahnkster: I thought Staten Island was a place where they parked garbage trucks at night.
BTW, I heard he moved to Staten Island because he thought it would reduce his cholesterol.


My daughter went to college on Staten Island, so I'm getting a kick out of this...

I have never seen so many white wrought iron fences and front yards covered in little white pebbles and cast concrete statues in my life.
 
2019-03-14 07:50:12 AM  
I thought the Mafia was like ISIS, the forces of good have them on the ropes, finis.
 
2019-03-14 07:50:26 AM  
So he fell on some bullets...under a truck.
What's the big deal, happens all the time around there.

I hear the benefits in the mafia are great but the retirement plans suck.
 
2019-03-14 07:50:37 AM  
Shirley Ujest:
Also, correct me if I am wrong, but Staten Island is an Island...right..

Juuuust barely. If they dump a few more boats in Arthur Kill, or it silts up a bit more, SI becomes part of Jersey. Global warming, on the other hand, is raising the sea level, so it's kind of a toss up.

Arthur Kill: https://ny.curbed.com/2018/6/21/17124​1​40/staten-island-new-york-arthur-kill-​boat-graveyard-photos
 
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