Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Detroit Free Press)   1) Take plant product. 2) Make vaguely milk-like whitish liquid out of it and call it milk. 3) Profit?   (freep.com) divider line
    More: Silly, Milk, almond milk, Oat milk, soy milk, liquid mixture, small amount of oil, milk alternatives, celiac disease  
•       •       •

925 clicks; posted to Business » on 13 Mar 2019 at 5:50 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-03-13 06:11:30 PM  
So..... cooked oatmeal squishings?
 
2019-03-13 06:19:49 PM  
memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 06:22:55 PM  
Better than the man milk you'll get if you piss the barista off.
 
2019-03-13 06:28:18 PM  
Oat milk is on of the tastiest and cheapest "milks"... OUTSIDE OF YOUR MOM.
 
2019-03-13 06:33:02 PM  

brap: Oat milk is on of the tastiest and cheapest "milks"... OUTSIDE OF YOUR MOM.


What about inside my Mom?
 
2019-03-13 06:34:26 PM  
compote.slate.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 06:46:54 PM  
Sap, not milk.
 
2019-03-13 07:05:59 PM  
Call me old school, but milk comes from animals.  Anything else is plant squeezings/juice.  Basically sugar and water, maybe a slosh of protein, but lacking in the macro and micro nutrients of milk.
 
2019-03-13 07:20:35 PM  
1) Note that A LOT of people are lactose-intolerant, or just don't want to drink milk
2) Come up with suitable alternative
3) Profit
 
2019-03-13 07:24:35 PM  
The only reason plant milks are white is because the manufacturers add ground up calcium carbonate.  It's also the only reason they contain calcium.
 
2019-03-13 07:42:43 PM  
I'd try oat milk.  Soy 'milk' is good.  Almond 'milk' not so much, its nutritional value is little more than water.
 
2019-03-13 07:43:16 PM  
Coconut milk. Tasty drink or fun troll bait?
 
2019-03-13 08:07:26 PM  
At least Quaker calls theirs Oat Beverage
 
2019-03-13 08:09:20 PM  
Some dairy farmers would rather you call it "nut juice" than almond milk

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thetakeo​u​t.com/dairy-farmers-rather-you-call-it​-nut-juice-almond-milk-1832732529/amp


So drink up your nut juice.
 
2019-03-13 08:09:57 PM  
I thought oat milk was a good oatmeal stout.
 
2019-03-13 08:10:54 PM  
This isn't enough for even part of a complete breakfast. If only there were some kind of oat meal in existence...
 
2019-03-13 08:15:43 PM  
I found pea milk in the grocery store a while back. I try to avoid that aisle now
 
2019-03-13 08:24:31 PM  
Af least they didn't call it oat spunk.
 
2019-03-13 08:30:12 PM  
In Britain, we'll soon be on the dogs' milk.

Full of goodness. Full of vitamins. Full of marrowbone jelly.
 
2019-03-13 08:33:03 PM  
With the exception of soy milk, plant-based dairy alternatives are lacking in protein. They provide just 1 or 2 grams per cup, compared with 8 grams in cow's milk. Oat milk supplies a little fiber, 1 to 4 grams per 8 ounces.

Um, am I missing something? Who edited this?
 
2019-03-13 10:12:54 PM  

Tis But a Scratch: With the exception of soy milk, plant-based dairy alternatives are lacking in protein. They provide just 1 or 2 grams per cup, compared with 8 grams in cow's milk. Oat milk supplies a little fiber, 1 to 4 grams per 8 ounces.

Um, am I missing something? Who edited this?


I don't see the problem. Sentences (1) and (2) are about protein. Sentence (3) is about fiber. It looks cromulent to me, not like they are confused about protein vs fiber.
 
2019-03-13 10:13:30 PM  
I hear Alton Brown in my head lecturing me how fake milk does not provide the same chemical reactions as cow's milk for baking and cooking.
 
2019-03-13 10:32:11 PM  

stan unusual: [memegenerator.net image 850x699]


Give me that Moo Cow fark Milk
 
2019-03-13 10:34:22 PM  

Kefka1911: Some dairy farmers would rather you call it "nut juice" than almond milk

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thetakeou​t.com/dairy-farmers-rather-you-call-it​-nut-juice-almond-milk-1832732529/amp


So drink up your nut juice.


Oats are not a nut
 
2019-03-13 10:49:46 PM  
Cow milk? You mean modified bovine sweat?
 
2019-03-13 11:13:09 PM  

luckyeddie: In Britain, we'll soon be on the dogs' milk.

Full of goodness. Full of vitamins. Full of marrowbone jelly.


Lasts longer than any other kind of milk, dog's milk does.  No bugger'll drink it.
 
2019-03-14 12:22:05 AM  

Kefka1911: Some dairy farmers would rather you call it "nut juice" than almond milk

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thetakeou​t.com/dairy-farmers-rather-you-call-it​-nut-juice-almond-milk-1832732529/amp


So drink up your nut juice.


quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-14 12:22:15 AM  

stan unusual: [memegenerator.net image 850x699]


I went to see Mr. Black perform on Saturday. He warned us specifically about the coming of oat milk. I thought it was just a joke....will we never learn.
 
2019-03-14 02:01:52 AM  

luckyeddie: In Britain, we'll soon be on the dogs' milk.

Full of goodness. Full of vitamins. Full of marrowbone jelly.


At least it's actually milk.
 
2019-03-14 02:49:42 AM  
If cow milk didn't taste like goblin jizz, the dairy industry wouldn't be shiatting their pants about plant alternatives "stealing" their market.
 
2019-03-14 02:50:54 AM  

flondrix: The only reason plant milks are white is because the manufacturers add ground up calcium carbonate.  It's also the only reason they contain calcium.


We used to make our own nut milks, back before people sold them. They were white without adding any rocks.
 
2019-03-14 03:34:35 AM  

Hollie Maea: We used to make our own nut milks, back before people sold them. They were white without adding any rocks.

 
2019-03-14 04:58:07 AM  

Hollie Maea: flondrix: The only reason plant milks are white is because the manufacturers add ground up calcium carbonate.  It's also the only reason they contain calcium.

We used to make our own nut milks, back before people sold them. They were white without adding any rocks.


It must have been tricky, what with the onion on your belts.
 
2019-03-14 09:21:50 AM  

Sgygus: I'd try oat milk.  Soy 'milk' is good.  Almond 'milk' not so much, its nutritional value is little more than water.


I got some a few weeks ago at a food bank. Impressive packaging, which is about the extent of the good things. Oat "milk" tastes like (and - based on a careful reading of the ingredients list - essentially is) oat gruel. You know, that thing that starving poorhouse/workhouse children got in their filthy bowls, that Dickens wrote about? A bowl of this, added to another bowl of stone soup, makes for a somewhat nutritious and filling, though somewhat bland, meal.
 
2019-03-14 09:29:28 AM  

max_pooper: Cow milk? You mean modified bovine sweat?


I remember at least one PETA commercial that called it "cow pus." In a series of thinly-veiled sexy ads, the milk industry had various scantily-clad women (and IIRC at least one not-at-all-gay guy) with "milk-staches." PETA overwrote the copy with the words "pus-stache."
 
2019-03-14 09:31:12 AM  

Hollie Maea: If cow milk didn't taste like goblin jizz, the dairy industry wouldn't be shiatting their pants about plant alternatives "stealing" their market.


Serious question: How do you know what goblin jizz tastes like?
 
2019-03-14 09:38:52 AM  
Due to some convenient numbers and close proximity I calculated that my local grocery store is selling oatmeal ground up in water at a 5500% markup as compared to the same oatmeal sitting in a bag the aisle over.  It is also less healthy, since the fiber being ground up and dissolved more or less removes its health benefits.

/There is one born every minute
 
2019-03-14 03:38:53 PM  

Bukharin: Kefka1911: Some dairy farmers would rather you call it "nut juice" than almond milk

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thetakeou​t.com/dairy-farmers-rather-you-call-it​-nut-juice-almond-milk-1832732529/amp


So drink up your nut juice.

[quickmeme.com image 485x320]


Her skin is clear.  Must be all the facials she's received.
 
Displayed 38 of 38 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report