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5840 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2019 at 4:33 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2019-03-13 03:14:41 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2019-03-13 04:08:42 PM  
I think you're all farked in the head. We're ten hours from the farking library and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer an errand. It's a quest. It's a quest for knowledge. You're gonna get knowledge, and I'm gonna get knowledge... We're all gonna get so much farking knowledge we're gonna need plastic surgery to add goddamn cranial space! You'll be whistling 'The Elements' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Library Moose! Holy shiat!
 
2019-03-13 04:22:07 PM  
Moose outside shoulda told us so, we know...
 
2019-03-13 04:35:27 PM  
whr squrl?
 
2019-03-13 04:36:04 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:


Username checks out.
 
2019-03-13 04:38:16 PM  
Brilliant subby
 
2019-03-13 04:38:32 PM  

cman: Moose outside shoulda told us so, we know...


Barbarian out front told me.
 
2019-03-13 04:40:17 PM  
A moose could have bit my seester.
 
2019-03-13 04:40:18 PM  
that really did put a goofy smile on my face.  thanks.
 
2019-03-13 04:41:06 PM  
He's waiting to get in. His thesis is due. (Whatsamatter U.)
 
2019-03-13 04:41:37 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 04:41:51 PM  
And in case you've been waiting your entire life, as I have, to ask the question, "Where does Library Moose sleep?", you now have your answer and can die happy.

/for those whippersnappers amongst you, the answer is "wherever he frigging wants, not excluding right in front of the library".
//looks chilly. someone should heave a big ol horse blanket on him
///and then haul ass
 
2019-03-13 04:43:47 PM  
Just go up and yell at the moose to move.  That is sure to work.
 
2019-03-13 04:44:16 PM  
It just one moose.  Now if you had two meese I could see the problem.
 
2019-03-13 04:45:28 PM  

winedrinkingman: It just one moose.  Now if you had two meese I could see the problem.


What about two yoouse?
 
2019-03-13 04:46:22 PM  
That moose really loves cocaine.
 
2019-03-13 04:46:26 PM  

BKITU: I think you're all farked in the head. We're ten hours from the farking library and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer an errand. It's a quest. It's a quest for knowledge. You're gonna get knowledge, and I'm gonna get knowledge... We're all gonna get so much farking knowledge we're gonna need plastic surgery to add goddamn cranial space! You'll be whistling 'The Elements' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Library Moose! Holy shiat!


I watched that movie 100x on a VHS my Grandmother recorded off TV for us when I was a kid. I never even knew it was edited for TV. The first time I saw the unedited version, I just about peed my pants laughing during this scene.
 
2019-03-13 04:49:41 PM  
Oh no, first the library, and now Facebook is down also?

At least we have Fark.  Please Drew, be careful with that bourbon.
 
2019-03-13 04:50:36 PM  
OK - which one of you is it?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 04:51:03 PM  
978-0991537037
 
2019-03-13 04:51:39 PM  
Over the years I've seen a moose, multiple bears, and a bobcat in the wild. The moose was by far the most concerning. Those things are frickin' huge. Don't fark with a moose, folks.
 
2019-03-13 04:52:35 PM  
Whoops, now the moose got inside.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 04:52:48 PM  

BunkyBrewman: Oh no, first the library, and now Facebook is down also?

At least we have Fark.  Please Drew, be careful with that bourbon.


img.fark.netView Full Size

Nonononononononono!
 
2019-03-13 04:53:36 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Just go up and yell at the moose to move.  That is sure to work.


Or just get violent.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 04:56:50 PM  

Zizzowop: Brilliant subby


The moose did most of the work. It's actually the second time I've had one of these greenlit (the other was a Calgary transit station).
 
2019-03-13 04:58:16 PM  
I just bopped my baloney, so I'm getting a real kick out of this......
 
2019-03-13 05:00:31 PM  
Sad it's not chocolate.
 
2019-03-13 05:01:29 PM  
CSB:  We took a vacation to Grand Lake, CO this past summer and saw at least one moose every day: some in herds far off to the side of the road grazing and playing; some randomly among the trees in our neighborhood(one ran out in front of our car like a 700lb squirrel), and one that got WAY to close while we were hiking.

/CSB

What I learned:
1.  Moose are even bigger than I remembered from seeing some in my teens.
2.  As with all wild animals, observe from a distance and give them a wide berth if you happen to be in their path.
3.  Most people are idiots who don't practice #2 because they don't care enough about #1.
 
2019-03-13 05:01:45 PM  
As a librarian I approve of this thread
 
2019-03-13 05:07:54 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Just go up and yell at the moose to move.  That is sure to work.


What like MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE?!?!?
 
2019-03-13 05:08:38 PM  
He just wanted to use the library computers to surf pron.
 
2019-03-13 05:08:50 PM  

marleymaniac: BKITU: I think you're all farked in the head. We're ten hours from the farking library and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer an errand. It's a quest. It's a quest for knowledge. You're gonna get knowledge, and I'm gonna get knowledge... We're all gonna get so much farking knowledge we're gonna need plastic surgery to add goddamn cranial space! You'll be whistling 'The Elements' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Library Moose! Holy shiat!

I watched that movie 100x on a VHS my Grandmother recorded off TV for us when I was a kid. I never even knew it was edited for TV. The first time I saw the unedited version, I just about peed my pants laughing during this scene.


Which movie?  Alfred Packer the Musical?
 
2019-03-13 05:11:38 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread


Thank you for your service.
/srsly
 
2019-03-13 05:13:44 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread


As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.
 
2019-03-13 05:16:07 PM  

desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.


Fistbump
Stay safe I have friends reporting in and it's bad.
 
2019-03-13 05:16:52 PM  

Zul the Magnificent: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

Thank you for your service.
/srsly


You're welcome
 
2019-03-13 05:17:37 PM  
But I need to go BM!
 
2019-03-13 05:22:00 PM  

Keith Dudemeister: Over the years I've seen a moose, multiple bears, and a bobcat in the wild. The moose was by far the most concerning. Those things are frickin' huge. Don't fark with a moose, folks.


When I was a kid, I accidentally snagged a moose while I was fishing.
My older brother cut my line and we paddled the canoe to the other end of the lake real quick.
 
2019-03-13 05:22:18 PM  

Keith Dudemeister: Over the years I've seen a moose, multiple bears, and a bobcat in the wild.

coyote in my yard/driveway.The moose was by far the most concerning. Those things are frickin' huge. Don't fark with a moose, folks.

FTFM.
M(oose)SB:
Bull moose, late summer / early fall last year. around 7 am, I was moving some firewood from my truck on to my deck, and I hear a crash that sounded way bigger than deer. I looked up expecting to see a bear or three (even earlier there was a mom and her two cubs). Nope, freaking huge thing was walking in my property, 100 feet from me. Luckily I was on my deck, and 10 feet above ground level. It looked at me a little while, I looked at it and said hello mr moose. I held my hands up (like I had seen on some show about alaska) as if they were ears. I flapped them a bit, he flapped them a bit. he walked around my house towards my driveway, and I walked around the other side of my house to get a little closer to it but kept my pickup truck between us. As he walked from like 9 to 1 clockwise around my pickup, i walked from 4 to 7. at one point it stopped and looked at me clearly over my truck, decided I wasn't any sort of threat given we were maybe 40 feet apart, and walked down my driveway a little bit, into a a field and into the woods kinda in the direction it came from.

From the game wardens I spoke to after the fact about it, they told me it was probably 7-8 years old.
 
2019-03-13 05:22:22 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.

Fistbump
Stay safe I have friends reporting in and it's bad.


Mind you, librarian bites kan be nasty.
 
2019-03-13 05:25:17 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.

Fistbump
Stay safe I have friends reporting in and it's bad.


Thanks. This is my 2nd winter up here and it's easily the worst I've experienced. The Denver airport has closed all the runways and there's been hurricane force wind gusts. Local news has gone to all storm coverage at this point because people are still stupid enough to be driving in this shiat.
 
2019-03-13 05:27:30 PM  
I'm from Cali.

Ooo a moose, lets go up close and get a selfie, it's not like a moose would attack right?


Just remembering the lady who wanted a selfie with a Jaguar
 
2019-03-13 05:31:13 PM  

desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.

Fistbump
Stay safe I have friends reporting in and it's bad.

Thanks. This is my 2nd winter up here and it's easily the worst I've experienced. The Denver airport has closed all the runways and there's been hurricane force wind gusts. Local news has gone to all storm coverage at this point because people are still stupid enough to be driving in this shiat.


From the sound of things this is a record brreaker
 
2019-03-13 05:43:46 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.

Fistbump
Stay safe I have friends reporting in and it's bad.

Thanks. This is my 2nd winter up here and it's easily the worst I've experienced. The Denver airport has closed all the runways and there's been hurricane force wind gusts. Local news has gone to all storm coverage at this point because people are still stupid enough to be driving in this shiat.

From the sound of things this is a record brreaker


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 05:54:53 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: Cornelis de Gyselaer: desertgeek: Cornelis de Gyselaer: As a librarian I approve of this thread

As a librarian in Colorado who's off today thanks to this blizzard, I definitely approve of this thread.

Fistbump
Stay safe I have friends reporting in and it's bad.

Mind you, librarian bites kan be nasty.


Ooook!

/ #SpeakHisName
 
2019-03-13 06:03:17 PM  
Between the moose at the library and Facebook being down, I'm just going to have to spank the monkey at the bus stop like a normal pervert.
 
2019-03-13 06:04:41 PM  

OkieDookie: Between the moose at the library and Facebook being down, I'm just going to have to spank the monkey at the bus stop like a normal pervert.


You do that in CO you'll be lucky to HAVE a dick
 
2019-03-13 06:23:19 PM  
A moose bit my sister once.
 
2019-03-13 06:25:00 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: OkieDookie: Between the moose at the library and Facebook being down, I'm just going to have to spank the monkey at the bus stop like a normal pervert.

You do that in CO you'll be lucky to HAVE a dick


If being a pervert was easy then everyone would do it.
 
2019-03-13 06:26:27 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Just go up and yell at the moose to move.  That is sure to work.


I'm gonna try to ride it. Somebody get a picture.
 
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