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(Slate)   Hm, let's see. I need to make a big splash if I want to be taken seriously as a film critic, but all those other guys are grabbing up the good topics. Oh, I know. How about a withering takedown of True Lies using Captain Marvel as a foil? I'm smart   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, James Cameron, True Lies, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, James Cameron movie James Cameron, action-movie icon, story of Harry Tasker, Bill Paxton  
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1156 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Mar 2019 at 9:50 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2019-03-13 08:47:08 AM  
Oh some on, True Lies? That was the last movie where Cameron had any balls. The only thing wrong with the movie is that Jamie Lee Curtis winds up being a spy too, assumedly leaving their 12 year old daughter to fend for herself while her parents are off getting themselves killed. The rest of the critique is PC bullshiat.
 
2019-03-13 09:58:11 AM  
The only thing that stuck with me about True Lies was the idea that a woman having an ass like a 12 year old boy was presented as something desirable.
 
2019-03-13 09:58:58 AM  
So basically, we write half of an article about True Lies, then we release this superhero movie is getting all the clicks, so we write two sentences at the top and the bottom of the True Lies article and pretend it has anything to do with Captain Marvel?

But you already knew I was an incel, or "involuntarily celibate", for short.
 
2019-03-13 10:00:06 AM  

Mike_LowELL: then we release this superhero movie


The boob armor made me do it.
 
2019-03-13 10:01:06 AM  
 Never trust a movie critic who has no sense of humor. He will hate the movies that you would like, and you will hate the movies that he likes. So I guess that's a service, in a way.
 
2019-03-13 10:01:33 AM  

Mike_LowELL: So basically, we write half of an article about True Lies, then we release this superhero movie is getting all the clicks, so we write two sentences at the top and the bottom of the True Lies article and pretend it has anything to do with Captain Marvel?

But you already knew I was an incel, or "involuntarily celibate", for short.


I always wondered what incel meant but never cared enough to search for it, so thanks Mike!  :)
 
2019-03-13 10:07:14 AM  
Fark you "critic", True Lies is awesome.
 
2019-03-13 10:08:15 AM  
Has Armond White reviewed CM yet?
I'm waiting for his take before committing my hard earned money.
 
2019-03-13 10:09:04 AM  
Ok, so, I saw Captain Marvel, and the gag where she shoots the cardboard standie was just a gag.

It wasn't an act of contempt for True Lies being bad, it was simply the appropriate movie for the gag given the time the movie is taking place.
 
2019-03-13 10:09:29 AM  

RogueWallEnthusiast: Fark you "critic", True Lies is awesome.


Agreed
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 10:09:40 AM  
For an article (which will join a pile of a thousand other articles just like it) that would like you to believe that Captain Marvel is a groundbreaking "wow I can't believe we haven't done female heroine stuff before! Jesus f*ck why have action movies been such guy power ogle-the-chicks-if-there-even-are-any ​sh*tlord fests until right now" they sure do like to gloss very quickly over the two most iconic female action movie heroines ever.

And, AND, this article absolutely stinks of the suggestion that movies are made and society is influenced accordingly instead of movies being made based on what producers believe people will pay money to see and are therefore a reflection of how much or how little research into general attitudes of the public a studio does.
 
2019-03-13 10:11:01 AM  
*clicks link*
*reads headline*
*eye roll*
*closes page*
 
2019-03-13 10:12:29 AM  

RedHeadLover: RogueWallEnthusiast: Fark you "critic", True Lies is awesome.

Agreed
[img.fark.net image 270x372]


You can hardly see her dick
 
2019-03-13 10:12:31 AM  

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: Jesus f*ck why have action movies been such guy power ogle-the-chicks-if-there-even-are-any ​sh*tlord fests until right now" they sure do like to gloss very quickly over the two most iconic female action movie heroines ever.


Jamie Lee Curtis would only be third on that list.

\after Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton
\\and that's only in Cameron films
 
2019-03-13 10:14:38 AM  
Sam Adams should stick to beer instead of writing crap for Slate.

/is "crap for Slate" redundant?
 
2019-03-13 10:19:48 AM  
Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.
 
2019-03-13 10:19:57 AM  
Where did the bad movie touch you?
 
2019-03-13 10:20:40 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 10:20:47 AM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


So what? It's a movie
 
2019-03-13 10:21:00 AM  
And to be perfectly honest, the "imagine being Arnold in that scene" copypasta absolutely RUINED my ability to watch this movie well before society decided 90s action movies were politically intolerable anymore.

So nice try, article writer, but some jag on the internet has bested you, and I doubt it's the first or last time.
 
2019-03-13 10:22:35 AM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


Carol and Maria were test pilots, not a combat fighter pilots.
 
2019-03-13 10:27:07 AM  
Action movie mocking other past action movies and the entire genre?
i.imgur.comView Full Size

Never been done before.
 
2019-03-13 10:30:16 AM  
Great job, critic. That totally woke young lady in your building is totally going to notice you now.
 
2019-03-13 10:31:31 AM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


She was a volunteer test pilot. They actually mention in the movie they weren't allowed to be fighter pilots.
 
2019-03-13 10:33:54 AM  

smd31: I always wondered what incel meant but never cared enough to search for it, so thanks Mike!  :)


yw qt ;P
 
2019-03-13 10:36:35 AM  
I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel
Youtube 9pQNYeOEFJc

/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee
 
2019-03-13 11:04:47 AM  

stoli n coke: Great job, critic. That totally woke young lady in your building is totally going to notice you now.


He might score bewb!
 
2019-03-13 11:08:01 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee


Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.
 
2019-03-13 11:09:14 AM  

Cheese eating surrender monkey: Action movie mocking other past action movies and the entire genre?[i.imgur.com image 850x354]
Never been done before.


I watched that a few months ago, and I think it came out before it's time. It likely would've been more appreciated now as a mock up of 90's and 80's films along with some 4th wall breaking stuff. I enjoyed it much more than I remember when I was young.

I really enjoyed Twyin as the bad guy in it - and the cameo by Ian McKellan was nice in the last scene.
 
2019-03-13 11:16:41 AM  
I like "True Lies", but man. There is some serious misogyny going on in that movie. I remember being uncomfortable with it when I first saw it back in 1994. Some of the language is pretty aggressive towards women, in a very casual way. It's crass.

The whole movie is...crass, really. That's part of what makes it distinctive, but it's a little too much.
 
2019-03-13 11:17:52 AM  

Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since.


I haven't watched those in years - but I think that whole B-plot thing was like a mini movie in itself. Mr. Plinkett was like some gross John Wayne Gacy-esque person who kidnapped a girl. The girl eventually gets out and I thought she kills Mr. Plinkett in the end. I can't remember it has been a long time.
 
2019-03-13 11:22:11 AM  

Dokstarr: Cheese eating surrender monkey: Action movie mocking other past action movies and the entire genre?[i.imgur.com image 850x354]
Never been done before.

I watched that a few months ago, and I think it came out before it's time. It likely would've been more appreciated now as a mock up of 90's and 80's films along with some 4th wall breaking stuff. I enjoyed it much more than I remember when I was young.

I really enjoyed Twyin as the bad guy in it - and the cameo by Ian McKellan was nice in the last scene.


Sir Gandalf-Magneto is in? Haven't seen it in years but the mention of the blockbuster scene just made it pop in my mind.
And now I've got AC/DC playing in here too.

/Big gun!
//twiddly guitar.
 
2019-03-13 11:23:46 AM  

Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.


He makes similar jokes in his extended Ghostbusters 2016 video review, so no.
 
2019-03-13 11:30:43 AM  

Cheese eating surrender monkey: ir Gandalf-Magneto is in?


He plays the Grim Reaper in a movie that the kid runs into, and the magic movie ticket brushes the movie screen.  Death walks toward the 4th wall, and into the theater and confronts the kid.
 
2019-03-13 11:32:15 AM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Cheese eating surrender monkey: ir Gandalf-Magneto is in?

He plays the Grim Reaper in a movie that the kid runs into, and the magic movie ticket brushes the movie screen.  Death walks toward the 4th wall, and into the theater and confronts the kid.


...in a movie playing in a theater that the kid runs into...

FTFM
 
2019-03-13 11:36:59 AM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


I'm gonna go ahead and blow your mind - There were no superheroes in the 80's, either. 

These things are fictional on purpose.
 
2019-03-13 11:48:43 AM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


Boy is your face going to be red when you find out there were no shapeshifting aliens in the 80s either.

/she was a test pilot. The movie specifically points this out.
 
2019-03-13 11:57:48 AM  

Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.


Those were only in the Plinkett reviews, and you don't get satire, do you?
 
2019-03-13 12:09:49 PM  

mrsleep: Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.

Those were only in the Plinkett reviews, and you don't get satire, do you?


I don't get the point putting that shiat into a Star Wars review. It just dragged out an already long video series.

At the time I just thought it sucked and got on with my life. Now it just seems like part of a disturbing pattern in Star Wars fandom.
 
2019-03-13 12:18:28 PM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


Tell that to Tom Cruise
 
2019-03-13 12:21:13 PM  

Mugato: Oh some on, True Lies? That was the last movie where Cameron had any balls. The only thing wrong with the movie is that Jamie Lee Curtis winds up being a spy too, assumedly leaving their 12 year old daughter to fend for herself while her parents are off getting themselves killed. The rest of the critique is PC bullshiat.


Yeah, if anything Helen goes from mousey housewife, silently accepting bullshiat constantly, whining in secret, falling for a slimy moron, to someone who is kicking arse. Now granted she became tough too fast, too close to the end of the movie, with zero training, but it's a fun movie not a serious one.

Not only that but Harry (Arnold) feels terrible his wife is feeling neglected. His proposed solution is shiatty, but he doesn't want to dump the frumpy 40 something housewife for 2-20 year old babes, he wants to seduce her again. Granted, like the guy with the French accent said "Who wrote this shiat? Harry?" it was horribly written dialogue he wanted to use, but FFS he's not interested in leaving her. Even when he finds out she's looking to cheat, he doesn't blame her, accepting his responsibility for not being around enough and giving her bullshiat excuses for years.

Oh, and yeah, then they become a husband/wife superspy team at the end of the flick. So sexist.
 
2019-03-13 12:24:35 PM  

Mad_Radhu: mrsleep: Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.

Those were only in the Plinkett reviews, and you don't get satire, do you?

I don't get the point putting that shiat into a Star Wars review. It just dragged out an already long video series.

At the time I just thought it sucked and got on with my life. Now it just seems like part of a disturbing pattern in Star Wars fandom.


I, too, have an overactive imagination.  It's why I turn in to the ten o'clock news every night, to find out how many of my neighbors were murdered last evening.  It's really hard to keep a running count when you're trying not to get fingerprints all over the place.
 
2019-03-13 12:24:53 PM  

limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.


This is a comic movie so that doesn't mean anything. That's like pointing out some post-apocalyptic warlord can give a maimed lady a better (but more primitive looking) prosthetic arm than anyone can get today.
 
2019-03-13 12:29:33 PM  

stoli n coke: Great job, critic. That totally woke young lady in your building is totally going to notice you now.


Incel-like logic detected
 
2019-03-13 12:59:52 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.


The Half In the Bag series is mostly them just discussing the movie.  There's setups at the beginning of each episode that references their ongoing attempt to fix/not fix VCRs and such, which are annoying, but if you skip the first couple minutes they go right into discussion.  I like their Half in the Bag series more than anything else they do, with ReView coming in a close second.  

And yes, those old Plinkett reviews are almost unwatchable now because of all the annoying breaks from the actual review.  It just detracts from a lot of solid points they make about the films.
 
2019-03-13 01:00:23 PM  

imaconnect4guy: Mad_Radhu: Tyrone Slothrop: I think the guys at redlettermedia covered all the pros and cons (and stupidity surrounding) of Captain Marvel.

[YouTube video: Half in the Bag: Captain Marvel]
/bonus: all the advantages of holding a convention in Milwaukee

Have they cut back on the weird non sequitur jokes about abducting women? Those made the Phantom Menace review hard to watch, so I haven't watched their stuff since. Now with all the stuff that has come out about how farked up the film industry is, and the Star Wars incels being generally shiatty towards women, it seems especially skeevy to watch those old reviews, because it is hard to not think that those "harmless" jokes contributed to the current toxic fandom that we have now.

The Half In the Bag series is mostly them just discussing the movie.  There's setups at the beginning of each episode that references their ongoing attempt to fix/not fix VCRs and such, which are annoying, but if you skip the first couple minutes they go right into discussion.  I like their Half in the Bag series more than anything else they do, with ReView coming in a close second.  

And yes, those old Plinkett reviews are almost unwatchable now because of all the annoying breaks from the actual review.  It just detracts from a lot of solid points they make about the films.


Ugh.
 
2019-03-13 01:42:13 PM  

The Goddamn Batman: limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.

Boy is your face going to be red when you find out there were no shapeshifting aliens in the 80s either.

/she was a test pilot. The movie specifically points this out.


There were shapeshifting aliens in the 80s...
 
2019-03-13 01:45:14 PM  

inglixthemad: limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.

This is a comic movie so that doesn't mean anything. That's like pointing out some post-apocalyptic warlord can give a maimed lady a better (but more primitive looking) prosthetic arm than anyone can get today.


Right, right. Just a movie thing
 
2019-03-13 01:45:59 PM  

limboslam: The Goddamn Batman: limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.

Boy is your face going to be red when you find out there were no shapeshifting aliens in the 80s either.

/she was a test pilot. The movie specifically points this out.

There were shapeshifting aliens in the 80s...


Ha I mean I guess we wouldn't really know :)
 
2019-03-13 01:46:56 PM  

rwellor: limboslam: Wait, I haven't seen Captain Marvel yet, and the article states that Carol Danvers has memories of being a fighter pilot in the 80's?
There were no female fighter pilots in the 80s.

I'm gonna go ahead and blow your mind - There were no superheroes in the 80's, either. 

These things are fictional on purpose.


Got it. Just a movie.
 
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