Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   Accusation of dipping testicles in customer's salsa is no laughing matter, judge incorrectly tells defendant   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Probation, Mr. Webb, Adulterant, Plea, female delivery driver, defendant accused, Tennessee judge, Howard Matthew Webb  
•       •       •

2016 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2019 at 8:35 AM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-03-13 08:33:16 AM  
It wouldn't be if it was extra hot salsa. Or it would be even more funny.
 
2019-03-13 08:38:51 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 08:40:01 AM  
So huevos and salsa?
 
2019-03-13 08:44:36 AM  
That's a spicy meatball.
 
2019-03-13 08:45:03 AM  
community.ew.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 08:45:33 AM  
You mean, Pico de Guyo?
 
2019-03-13 08:46:53 AM  
If it's going to be that kind of a party, I'm going to stick my . . .
 
2019-03-13 09:01:58 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 09:05:18 AM  
Take away the person who ordered the food and all the legal issues, and this is still unpleasant.

I just do not want salsa on my balls at any point.

I don't think I want anything on my balls.  Keep them clean and safe.  Not too hot, not too cold.  There is no type of salsa that, when applied to my balls, makes me happier.
 
2019-03-13 09:10:15 AM  

Plato's Salty Discharge: [img.fark.net image 650x409]


IGotThatRefernce.jpg
 
2019-03-13 09:18:01 AM  
Honestly, I understand why it's a crime, but balls in salsa seems like a crime that the legal system shouldn't have jurisdiction over.  He needs a good beating followed by frat boys feeding him dick and ball tainted food three by three times.
 
2019-03-13 09:19:40 AM  
That's got to be some terribly weak salsa.
 
2019-03-13 09:20:14 AM  
recorded Webb allegedly in the act and posted the video online, saying it was retribution for an 89-cent tip for an almost 30-minute drive.

1. If you're going to do something sketchy don't record it. I don't know why we have to explain this to a generation of people who have grown up with YouTube, but apparently we do.

2. What kind of dumbass restaurant has a delivery zone 30 minutes away unless there's a delivery fee based on distance?

3. We'd be better off if tipping was eliminated altogether and restaurants (and other businesses) paid their staff a proper wage.

4. Think before you blame a delivery driver for late food. While it's possible your food was late because the driver screwed up but it's far more likely the problem was out of the driver's control (eg. traffic, the restaurant was busy, etc.).

5. If you plan on ordering from a restaurant again you should give a decent tip. I'm not saying it's right, but if you're a dick to people preparing your food there's a good chance they'll remember you and express their displeasure in the limited means at their disposal. If I'm not happy with a restaurant I act like an adult and speak to the manager and likely don't return. I can't think of an occasion where I've stiffed a server or delivery person.
 
2019-03-13 09:27:25 AM  

Coconice: Take away the person who ordered the food and all the legal issues, and this is still unpleasant.

I just do not want salsa on my balls at any point.

I don't think I want anything on my balls.  Keep them clean and safe.  Not too hot, not too cold.  There is no type of salsa that, when applied to my balls, makes me happier.


Could we at least just say nothing that involves capiscum and it's related substances?
 
2019-03-13 09:27:31 AM  

Mugato: It wouldn't be if it was extra hot salsa. Or it would be even more funny.


Yeah, I once went to the bathroom shortly after handling some really hot peppers. That is a mistake I will not be repeating.
 
2019-03-13 09:36:04 AM  
dvdmedia.ign.comView Full Size

"It was cold at first... "
 
2019-03-13 09:38:12 AM  

Coconice: There is no type of salsa that, when applied to my balls, makes me happier.


Tongue salsa.
 
2019-03-13 09:46:54 AM  

Greek: Mugato: It wouldn't be if it was extra hot salsa. Or it would be even more funny.

Yeah, I once went to the bathroom shortly after handling some really hot peppers. That is a mistake I will not be repeating.


Semi-related, I thought it would be delicious to mince and pan fry ghost peppers to put on a burger.  It was probably the closest thing to experiencing an actual chemical weapons attack.
 
2019-03-13 10:22:50 AM  

Greek: Mugato: It wouldn't be if it was extra hot salsa. Or it would be even more funny.

Yeah, I once went to the bathroom shortly after handling some really hot peppers. That is a mistake I will not be repeating.


I'm thinking along that line too.  If he was able to dip balls without discomfort, that wasn't salsa.  That was chunky ketchup.
 
2019-03-13 10:56:15 AM  
Coconice:I don't think I want anything on my balls.

...except subby's mom.
 
2019-03-13 11:13:32 AM  

Plato's Salty Discharge: [img.fark.net image 650x409]


Came for Louie reference.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2019-03-13 11:28:22 AM  

Somacandra: Leaving satisfied.


Much like the delivery driver.
 
2019-03-13 11:46:31 AM  
frostsnow.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 12:01:57 PM  
What I don't understand is how he knew about the tip, but still had the salsa to adulterate...I always tip AFTER I have received my food.
 
2019-03-13 01:27:36 PM  

doglover: Honestly, I understand why it's a crime, but balls in salsa seems like a crime that the legal system shouldn't have jurisdiction over.  He needs a good beating followed by frat boys feeding him dick and ball tainted food three by three times.


Sure, why not that too?
 
2019-03-13 02:27:10 PM  
Nah, it's pretty funny.  As long as it's not my food.
 
2019-03-13 03:17:26 PM  
But senor, sometimes the bull wins.

/dnrtfa
 
2019-03-13 05:09:26 PM  
And nobody remembers the KITH "I wanna dip my balls in it!" ?
 
2019-03-13 05:41:32 PM  

Coconice: I don't think I want anything on my balls. Keep them clean and safe. Not too hot, not too cold. There is no type of salsa that, when applied to my balls, makes me happier.


That's just anecdotal evidence, man.  You're going to have to try putting all types of salsa on your balls before we can accept that answer.
 
6 days ago  
Well, its Fark. Stuff that is funny when it happens to other people, a tragedy when it happens to me.

Remember the Farkers Prayer, as created by me, Brantgoose:

Lord, spare us from a comical death. Amen.

Most people want to make the news in America, at least, but most do no want a Darwin Award. Most.

 
6 days ago  

one2toke: And nobody remembers the KITH "I wanna dip my balls in it!" ?


So you didn't see the second post?
 
Displayed 31 of 31 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report