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(Deadspin)   How to get your kid into college for $500K in bribes, CliffsNotes version   (deadspin.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Basketball, High school, Water polo, Polo, Pole vault, College, Collegiate Water Polo Association, Son  
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2801 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2019 at 10:49 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2019-03-12 10:50:59 PM  
Who the hell pays $500K in bribes to get into... USC???
 
2019-03-12 10:51:38 PM  
It's crap like this that gives USC a bad name.

Aww who am I kidding...
 
2019-03-12 10:56:37 PM  
The kids are already rich--why fark with bribery?  Getting something falsely isn't worth receiving.

/Parents are a-holes.
 
2019-03-12 10:57:30 PM  
Hell, I got my kid into Bama with a 12 pack of Blue Ribbon and a $25.00 gift card from Dollar General.
 
2019-03-12 10:58:00 PM  
Did we really need another link about this?
 
2019-03-12 11:00:02 PM  
TBH if I got 500K I wouldn't ask for anything else my entire goddamn life. I'd just go about my work. I'd be debt free, have savings, a new car, be invested and some friends would get surgery they need.

/no, a house is not on the list
//they're farkin expensive around here I'd rather help some friends
 
2019-03-12 11:01:06 PM  
I'm sure this has been happening since caveman times.
 
2019-03-12 11:01:46 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-12 11:04:23 PM  
Why not just donate to the endowment fund like normal rich people who want to grease some palms?
 
2019-03-12 11:04:36 PM  
Shameless.
 
2019-03-12 11:05:43 PM  
One time I was walking by Bunker Hill Community College, when I spotted some litter in front of the school. I picked up the litter, and the college immediately enrolled me as a freshman.
 
2019-03-12 11:06:22 PM  
Thanks Obama Trump
 
2019-03-12 11:06:50 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: Why not just donate to the endowment fund like normal rich people who want to grease some palms?


The press conference on all the news channels today was clear on the subject. Majorly rich people donate enough for naming rights on a building and their kids get admitted. These are people who don't quite have that much money, so they need a cheaper option.
 
2019-03-12 11:08:30 PM  

rzrwiresunrise: Who the hell pays $500K in bribes to get into... USC???


Well, it is known as the University of Spoiled Children in some circles.
 
2019-03-12 11:09:33 PM  
And the thing is, the whole time they were already enrolled at Wells Fargo University; they just didn't know it.
 
2019-03-12 11:22:15 PM  
One thing that I haven't seen mentioned is whether if some of these parents will be prosecuted for tax evasion.  They were paying bribes to a "charity" knowing full well it wasn't legit.  I'm sure many of them then claimed that "donation" on their taxes.
 
2019-03-12 11:25:10 PM  
It's only illegal if there is a middleman.  They should have brib...errr...donated....directly
 
2019-03-12 11:25:49 PM  

iseetheghost: Hell, I got my kid into Bama with a 12 pack of Blue Ribbon and a $25.00 gift card from Dollar General.


Well lookit you, Mr. High-Roller.
 
2019-03-12 11:27:36 PM  
Most of this could have been prevented by simply not giving a reduced set of scholastic requirements to athletes.
 
2019-03-12 11:27:58 PM  

Salmon: I'm sure this has been happening since caveman times.


I hear that Grog gave fire to the administrators at Giant Sloth U. to let his son Bam in, The dumb kid majored in tar pits. What a waste. Degrees in liberal tars are useless.
 
2019-03-12 11:30:55 PM  
I felt bad for these kids until I remembered they were rich and they can afford therapy. The rest of us just have to be happy with our shiatty state school education and talking to ourselves in the shower to work through our problems.
 
2019-03-12 11:31:42 PM  

wellreadneck: Shameless.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-12 11:32:13 PM  
tl;dr - I don't remember cliff notes being as long as that farking article.
 
2019-03-12 11:36:02 PM  
the really sad thing is the parents did not really care about getting a good education for their children . . . they just wanted the status symbol
 
2019-03-12 11:36:33 PM  

NotARocketScientist: Most of this could have been prevented by simply not giving a reduced set of scholastic requirements to athletes.


img.fark.netView Full Size

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our incoming athletes - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole athletic department responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole freshman admission system? And if the whole freshman admission system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Fark - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Farkers!
 
2019-03-13 12:02:05 AM  
I wonder of existing students who had to earn their way into these universities have grounds to sue.
 
2019-03-13 12:04:07 AM  

rzrwiresunrise: Who the hell pays $500K in bribes to get into... USC???


Realistic parents?
 
2019-03-13 12:08:59 AM  

farkstorm: the really sad thing is the parents did not really care about getting a good education for their children . . . they just wanted the status symbol


You can walk into any lecture hall in almost any college/university in America, sit there and take notes, and learn anything you want for farking free. But what you really need to pay a fortune for is the little piece of paper at the end so the underpaid middle manager who hires you can cover his/her ass.
 
2019-03-13 12:13:20 AM  

CitizenReserveCorps: rzrwiresunrise: Who the hell pays $500K in bribes to get into... USC???

Well, it is known as the University of Spoiled Children in some circles.


Successful. University of Successful Children.

/Mostly
 
2019-03-13 12:15:01 AM  
And some of these athletic qualifications are for made up sports anyway. Rowing? Water polo? Like those are real "sports"! I mean come on!
 
2019-03-13 12:17:09 AM  

SonOfSpam: And some of these athletic qualifications are for made up sports anyway. Rowing? Water polo? Like those are real "sports"! I mean come on!


How do they get the horses to hold their breath?
 
2019-03-13 12:33:31 AM  
img.buzzfeed.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 12:39:09 AM  

farkstorm: the really sad thing is the parents did not really care about getting a good education for their children . . . they just wanted the status symbol


That's life isn't it? You never REALLY need a degree. But apprenticeships and nepotism is a thing. And when the investors demand layoffs, it is the only thing keeping thier continued employment on the table.  And in a globally traded society, the only thing keeping investors happy is that someone has papers. Experience and quality mean jack and shiat.
 
2019-03-13 12:41:12 AM  
 But, Felicity is pretty ...
 
2019-03-13 12:43:37 AM  
I'm like sooo busted!  Oh m'gosh!
 
2019-03-13 12:44:16 AM  

Trocadero: SonOfSpam: And some of these athletic qualifications are for made up sports anyway. Rowing? Water polo? Like those are real "sports"! I mean come on!

How do they get the horses to hold their breath?


They use seahorses, obviously.
 
2019-03-13 12:44:57 AM  

rzrwiresunrise: Who the hell pays $500K in bribes to get into... USC???


Or $1.2 million to pretend you're a big-time soccer recruit for Yale.  Hello?  It's Yale!  I'm pretty sure they'd have just taken the $1.2 million straight-up, and it would have been legal.
 
2019-03-13 12:47:08 AM  

maietta: I wonder of existing students who had to earn their way into these universities have grounds to sue.


Sue whom?  I doubt the universities knew what was going on.  After all, the bribe money went to third parties.  The universities would have wanted that sweet bribe money for themselves.
 
2019-03-13 12:51:41 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Trocadero: SonOfSpam: And some of these athletic qualifications are for made up sports anyway. Rowing? Water polo? Like those are real "sports"! I mean come on!

How do they get the horses to hold their breath?

They use seahorses, obviously.


pxleyes.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 12:56:24 AM  

Igor Jakovsky: Why not just donate to the endowment fund like normal rich people who want to grease some palms?


The initial note from the 'cooperating witness' describes that as the 'back door'.  It was about ten times more money than the 'side door' they created.

So, they tried to cheap out.
 
2019-03-13 01:07:31 AM  

SurelyShirley: I'm like sooo busted!  Oh m'gosh!


Holy shiat..
 
2019-03-13 01:08:00 AM  
McGlashin: "The way the world works these days is unbelievable."

This isn't how the world works, you asshat!  You're committing crimes!  That's not the same thing as "how the world works."
 
2019-03-13 01:16:22 AM  

farkstorm: the really sad thing is the parents did not really care about getting a good education for their children . . . they just wanted the status symbol


If they were concerned about good parenting they probably wouldn't have done all that bribery and fraud

/just sayin
 
2019-03-13 01:27:34 AM  

KrustyKitten: CitizenReserveCorps: rzrwiresunrise: Who the hell pays $500K in bribes to get into... USC???

Well, it is known as the University of Spoiled Children in some circles.

Successful. University of Successful Children.

/Mostly


On a different note, it's known as the University of South Central.
 
2019-03-13 01:45:02 AM  

SonOfSpam: And some of these athletic qualifications are for made up sports anyway. Rowing? Water polo? Like those are real "sports"! I mean come on!



farm3.static.flickr.comView Full Size

npbrc.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 01:56:42 AM  
Ah America.  A true meritocracy.
 
2019-03-13 02:02:37 AM  

rzrwiresunrise: SonOfSpam: And some of these athletic qualifications are for made up sports anyway. Rowing? Water polo? Like those are real "sports"! I mean come on!


[farm3.static.flickr.com image 390x768]
[npbrc.com image 850x566]


Fark is not your personal erotica site.
 
Qel [TotalFark]
2019-03-13 02:14:28 AM  
I'm all for prosecuting crimes.  But why THIS crime?

Why not:
Purdue Pharma making money of Opioid addictive drugs they lied about.

The financial crisis where no company was prosecuted. No significant jail time for those responsible.  We even bailed out companies responsible for "reasons".

Cops gunning down black men at an alarming rate.  How about a federal trial for these crimes.

Finding the parents of all those immigrant children in prison.  And maybe looking into the abuse allegations.

/i need a drink.
 
2019-03-13 02:37:23 AM  

mrmopar5287: Igor Jakovsky: Why not just donate to the endowment fund like normal rich people who want to grease some palms?

The press conference on all the news channels today was clear on the subject. Majorly rich people donate enough for naming rights on a building and their kids get admitted. These are people who don't quite have that much money, so they need a cheaper option.


You know what's real farkin' cheap?  Studying and getting decent grades.  And maybe doing an extracurricular activity.  I realize it's horrible to think that their kid might get into the college they *gasp* are qualified for, but life isn't always fair.

Er, I mean, life isn't always unfair in your favor.  Whatever, potato potato.
 
2019-03-13 02:47:33 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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