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(Madison PD)   Police help marsupial get junk unstuck from between fence slats   (cityofmadison.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Fences, E-mail, Fence, Party, Third party, Quality of service, Fencing, email address  
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3311 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2019 at 11:00 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2019-03-12 08:50:59 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-12 09:57:31 PM  
 I wish we knew what was going on in the mind of that possum.  To be caught like that and have a group of animals(humans) come over and free you would be scary. It would be like a group of bears freeing a man caught on a slatted chair. That would be so weird.
 
2019-03-12 10:08:35 PM  
We found a squirrel with his head wedged in the crack of a large oak tree at the MILs. His body was quite limp. I believe it's called positional asphyxiation.
 
2019-03-12 10:25:15 PM  
Joel DeSpain has carved out quite a niche for himself writing these ditties.  Former TV anchor.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-12 10:34:12 PM  
That poor thing.  It must have been so very scared.
 
2019-03-12 10:38:51 PM  
Oh.......OUCH!
 
2019-03-12 11:02:00 PM  

Miss5280: I wish we knew what was going on in the mind of that possum.  To be caught like that and have a group of animals(humans) come over and free you would be scary. It would be like a group of bears freeing a man caught on a slatted chair. That would be so weird.


That entirely depends on what you mean by "bears."
 
2019-03-12 11:03:51 PM  
Someone take screencaps of this thread as it goes along, otherwise when people look at it in perpetuity it will be filled with broken links and half the jokes will be ruined.
 
2019-03-12 11:05:58 PM  
I think I saw this on an episode of "Ow, My Balls!"
 
2019-03-12 11:08:13 PM  
So very scared.

/Just jump off the fence, all quick-like.
 
2019-03-12 11:08:39 PM  
That's certainly a conundrum.
 
2019-03-12 11:08:53 PM  
This article was well-written.
 
2019-03-12 11:08:59 PM  
Kudos to whoever put that pic in the "mobile preview" link.
 
2019-03-12 11:10:14 PM  

WastrelWay: This article was well-written.


It was nuts!
 
2019-03-12 11:11:39 PM  
Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?
 
2019-03-12 11:13:31 PM  
Oh my god...
img.fark.netView Full Size

None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...
 
2019-03-12 11:14:25 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-12 11:16:45 PM  

bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...


Iiiima gonna take your word on that.
 
2019-03-12 11:18:37 PM  
It's just an opossum on a fence what's the deal?
Anatomical items of said creature were caught in the fence slats
Backs away into shrubbery
 
2019-03-12 11:21:55 PM  

kdawg7736: [img.fark.net image 225x225]


I love that. I'm saving that picture because I say that phrase all the time.
 
2019-03-12 11:21:59 PM  

bughunter: Oh my god...
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
A shaved opossum makes Gollum look relatively cute
 
2019-03-12 11:22:14 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: Miss5280: I wish we knew what was going on in the mind of that possum.  To be caught like that and have a group of animals(humans) come over and free you would be scary. It would be like a group of bears freeing a man caught on a slatted chair. That would be so weird.

That entirely depends on what you mean by "bears."


I've gone on a camping trip and ended up with a bunch of bears playing with my junk.

If you know what I mean and I think you do.
 
2019-03-12 11:23:30 PM  

bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-12 11:24:21 PM  
Possum pie is still a nice sunday meal while waiting for the mine to start back up.
 
2019-03-12 11:30:35 PM  

berylman: bughunter: Oh my god...
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...
[i.pinimg.com image 236x187] A shaved opossum makes Gollum look relatively cute


Look what it has done to its cage and its bowl.

I think I'd rather face Jabba's rancor.
 
2019-03-12 11:30:35 PM  

Incident on 57th Street: Joel


How could you tell who wrote it? I couldn't find it.

Mister Buttons: Kudos to whoever put that pic in the "mobile preview" link.


Thanks! I was hoping you guys would like that. There wasn't a photo, and it was the first thing I thought of, naturally.
 
2019-03-12 11:33:03 PM  

BuckTurgidson: bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...

Iiiima gonna take your word on that.


Meh.  There's a reason Fark's mascot is not an opossum.
 
2019-03-12 11:33:15 PM  
Stop Letting English Majors Write News Articles.
 
2019-03-12 11:34:52 PM  

jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?


Go on...


My mother used to teach elementary school.  She had one student who used to sometimes have mini-accidents where he'd pee a bit and get his underpants wet.  His solution was to just got to the bathroom and throw the wet underwear in the garbage.

And that's how my mother ended up having to help a little boy get his penis unstuck from his zipper.

(Actually, I had a similar problem once with the zipper on my pajama-sleepers, but managed to unstick myself.  Lighter duty zipper... I wasn't at risk of changing my gender, but possibly at risk of changing my religion.)
 
2019-03-12 11:35:09 PM  

BullBearMS: Madman drummers bummers: Miss5280: I wish we knew what was going on in the mind of that possum.  To be caught like that and have a group of animals(humans) come over and free you would be scary. It would be like a group of bears freeing a man caught on a slatted chair. That would be so weird.

That entirely depends on what you mean by "bears."

I've gone on a camping trip and ended up with a bunch of bears playing with my junk.

If you know what I mean and I think you do.


You left out "wanna go camping?"
 
2019-03-12 11:35:32 PM  

bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...


Possum?
No.
That's a rare picture of a young Master Splinter.
 
2019-03-12 11:38:32 PM  

jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?


Is there ever not a good place to tell that?
 
2019-03-12 11:51:54 PM  
I saw the Baywatch movie and am pretty sure whoever wrote the scene with the chair slats had to be a Farker.
 
2019-03-13 12:01:20 AM  

HoratioGates: jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?

Go on...


My mother used to teach elementary school.  She had one student who used to sometimes have mini-accidents where he'd pee a bit and get his underpants wet.  His solution was to just got to the bathroom and throw the wet underwear in the garbage.

And that's how my mother ended up having to help a little boy get his penis unstuck from his zipper.

(Actually, I had a similar problem once with the zipper on my pajama-sleepers, but managed to unstick myself.  Lighter duty zipper... I wasn't at risk of changing my gender, but possibly at risk of changing my religion.)


"He'd he get the beans above the frank?"
 
2019-03-13 12:03:36 AM  

gunsmack: jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?

Is there ever not a good place to tell that?


Ok.  So my step mom's family had a place up in the mountains.  One time, my brother and a cousin went and I didn't.  When my step mom got home, she couldn't wait to tell me the story.  "You're not gonna believe what your brother did!"  He and our cousin went for a hike.  They happened upon a fence.  The version of the story my step mom told is that they decided to "pee through knotholes in the fence".  Yada, yada, yada, my brother's dick got stuck in the hole.  My cousin went to get help.  Help turned out to be grandma.  She pried the board off the fence and they all hiked back to the cabin with my brother holding the board that was holding his dick.  Step mom, being a nurse, realized that taking another hour or so to drive into town might be too long and might result in permanent damage.  Grandpa went to the shed and got a hand saw which he used to cut as close as possible from either side so they could break the board.  A little too close.  And that's the story of how my brother got the scar on his dick.
 
2019-03-13 12:05:00 AM  

bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...


coubsecure-s.akamaihd.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 12:11:21 AM  

jtown: gunsmack: jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?

Is there ever not a good place to tell that?

The version of the story my step mom told is that they decided to "pee through knotholes in the fence".  Yada, yada, yada, my brother's dick got stuck in the hole.


And I said, "NO!  YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RIDE THE FENCE INTO TOWN!"
 
2019-03-13 12:21:13 AM  

HoratioGates: jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?

Go on...


My mother used to teach elementary school.  She had one student who used to sometimes have mini-accidents where he'd pee a bit and get his underpants wet.  His solution was to just got to the bathroom and throw the wet underwear in the garbage.

And that's how my mother ended up having to help a little boy get his penis unstuck from his zipper.

(Actually, I had a similar problem once with the zipper on my pajama-sleepers, but managed to unstick myself.  Lighter duty zipper... I wasn't at risk of changing my gender, but possibly at risk of changing my religion.)


those pjs with the built in feet had zippers that claimed many a penis, let me tell you.
 
2019-03-13 12:22:27 AM  

jtown: gunsmack: jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?

Is there ever not a good place to tell that?


Ok.  So my step mom's family had a place up in the mountains.  One time, my brother and a cousin went and I didn't....


Worth the wait. Bring grandma to the next Fark Party.
 
2019-03-13 12:22:31 AM  
Thank you, Kevin Pollock...
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-13 12:27:31 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2019-03-13 12:32:07 AM  

Incident on 57th Street: Joel DeSpain has carved out quite a niche for himself writing these ditties.  Former TV anchor.

[img.fark.net image 640x480]


related to dave despain?
 
2019-03-13 12:32:11 AM  

bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...


That's why you don't feed 'em after midnight.
 
2019-03-13 12:33:38 AM  
And Grandpa with his hacksaw.

/Farkers
//Slats
///Destiny
 
2019-03-13 12:37:22 AM  
I'm a girl and Fark has still taught me to fear wooden slats.
 
2019-03-13 12:39:46 AM  
Mobile HOY! ( Is that a category?)
Long time liter, and I got that joke. Had to try and explain to my wife why I was laughing.
 
2019-03-13 12:58:16 AM  
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


It's articles like these that remind me why I keep coming back to Fark year after year.
 
2019-03-13 01:04:14 AM  

Trocadero: bughunter: Oh my god...
[img.fark.net image 640x640]
None of the other gis results for "possum scrotum" were anywhere near as creepy as this...

[coubsecure-s.akamaihd.net image 850x478]


That's a Sumatran rat-monkey. You don't want to mess with those.
 
2019-03-13 01:11:58 AM  
I admire creatures who can fully commit to being seriously on the fence.
 
2019-03-13 01:18:59 AM  

gunsmack: jtown: gunsmack: jtown: Is this where I tell the story about how my brother got his dick stuck in a fence?

Is there ever not a good place to tell that?


Ok.  So my step mom's family had a place up in the mountains.  One time, my brother and a cousin went and I didn't....

Worth the wait. Bring grandma to the next Fark Party.


All my grandmas are dead.  :(
 
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