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(CNN)   "I told her, no pictures. Next time, she'll listen"   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Jaguar, Girl, Female, Woman, Mother, female jaguar, water bottle, American films  
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15369 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Mar 2019 at 8:21 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2019-03-10 07:36:46 AM  
Important safety tip: Jaguars and other animals can reach THROUGH bars, and if there's a "minimum safe distance' warning...that's how far you have to be in order to NOT get mauled.

Pro tip: big cats' claws are designed not just to make rips and tears, but hook prey so that they can get the bitey parts on you, so if they get those claws IN you, they're going to trying to get you close enough to clamp on that windpipe and just end things for a feast.

Dumbass got lucky that the bars kept the cat from getting a proper swing in.
 
2019-03-10 08:14:33 AM  
Another Darwin Award honorable mention.
 
2019-03-10 08:25:04 AM  
Better luck next time, nature.
 
2019-03-10 08:31:54 AM  
A terrible tramp stamp and jumping barriers to take a selfie w a jaguar? How has she managed to survive this until 30?

/and those are only the bad decisions visible in the 20 second clip.
 
2019-03-10 08:34:46 AM  
How's her face?
 
2019-03-10 08:35:21 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 08:36:14 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 08:36:59 AM  
Natural selection at work.
 
2019-03-10 08:38:45 AM  
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2019-03-10 08:41:26 AM  
Narrator:  "She didn't listen."
 
2019-03-10 08:43:40 AM  
Sending prayers to the family tonight

can we start sending 'knowledge' or 'common sense' instead?
 
2019-03-10 08:43:48 AM  
Idiot. She got off lighter than she deserved.

I hope they do not put the Jaguar down for this. That's my concern every time I hear about idiots going and getting themselves attacked and/or eaten.
 
2019-03-10 08:43:59 AM  
Did the whole crowd yell "you stupid biatch!" over and over?  Because if it wasn't for the fact the big cat would end up being punished I'd have left her to her own fate.
 
2019-03-10 08:44:44 AM  
How long will she take to go from being a whimpering puddle of goo traumatized by the realization stupid actions bring bad results to showing the scar off and talking proudly about her jaguar attack?
 
2019-03-10 08:46:56 AM  
Seems to be a result of living in an industrial society where we are removed from natures struggle to survive. The closest we get to animals is a trip to the petting zoo and a house cat. We are so removed from natures competition we just can't imagine there is any danger. There used to be a bird that lived on the Island of Mauritius that had no predators so it lost its fear of predation until sailors started coming to the island.
 
2019-03-10 08:47:05 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: Sending prayers to the family tonight

can we start sending 'knowledge' or 'common sense' instead?


I'm on it...

media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 08:48:20 AM  
Waiting for the lawsuit and asking that the Jaguar be put down because it's vicious. 

The real problem is the cougar of course.
 
2019-03-10 08:48:35 AM  
What sucks is if the jaguar won, they'd probably put her down.
/don't f*ck with big cats.
 
2019-03-10 08:55:57 AM  
Well, obligatory.

images.uncyc.orgView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 08:57:54 AM  
Is the phone safe?
 
2019-03-10 09:01:45 AM  
Wild animals in zoos are wild. They do what wild animals do. They are not pets. To them you are either an annoyance or you are food. That is why there are barriers.

Sometimes it's the people who belong in the cages.
 
2019-03-10 09:02:42 AM  

hubiestubert: Important safety tip: Jaguars and other animals can reach THROUGH bars, and if there's a "minimum safe distance' warning...that's how far you have to be in order to NOT get mauled.

Pro tip: big cats' claws are designed not just to make rips and tears, but hook prey so that they can get the bitey parts on you, so if they get those claws IN you, they're going to trying to get you close enough to clamp on that windpipe and just end things for a feast.

Dumbass got lucky that the bars kept the cat from getting a proper swing in.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 09:07:04 AM  
Zoos should legitimize this with "use at your own risk" selfie stations next to jaguar cages. Maybe widen the bars a little more so they can fit a head through.
 
2019-03-10 09:17:34 AM  

rudemix: How long will she take to go from being a whimpering puddle of goo traumatized by the realization stupid actions bring bad results to showing the scar off and talking proudly about her jaguar attack?


Probably depends on when the lawsuit is thrown out...
 
2019-03-10 09:19:55 AM  
I'd vote for it
 
2019-03-10 09:21:33 AM  
No picture?   If you want a picture of yourself being mauled by a big cat, maybe selfie isn't the approach to take?
 
2019-03-10 09:26:45 AM  
At Port Lympne Safari Park in Kent all dangerous animal enclosures have mesh on the inside of the bars to protect the dangerous animals from the dumb animals taking selfies. By comparison their African Experience tour puts you in the back of an open truck which drives through an open area full of grazing herd animals including zebra, deer and antelope. The most dangerous thing in that area is the ostrich. The ride is so steep and bumpy most folk on the truck are too busy hanging on to try and take selfies. Most of the animals give the truck a wide berth but the ostrich is a bastard.
 
2019-03-10 09:31:12 AM  
Good thing they had that affiliate story to confirm that she's "expected to survive" her "non-life threatening injuries". On her arm.
 
2019-03-10 09:37:02 AM  

rewind2846: Wild animals in zoos are wild. They do what wild animals do. They are not pets. To them you are either an annoyance or you are food. That is why there are barriers.

Sometimes it's the people who belong in the cages.


The Scorpions' Pure Instinct album has a NSFW cover depicting this thought.
 
2019-03-10 09:45:39 AM  
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2019-03-10 09:49:55 AM  
Wilkerson said he was standing behind the woman, but didn't want to pull her off. "I could see the claws in her actual flesh," he said.

Damn shame the claws didn't get her fake flesh...
 
2019-03-10 09:58:10 AM  
Did she start a gofundme yet?
 
2019-03-10 10:04:05 AM  
"Scary"?? Was the "Dumbass" tag laughing too hard?
 
2019-03-10 10:11:01 AM  

Mollari: "Scary"?? Was the "Dumbass" tag laughing too hard?


Dumbass tag needed to be put on oxygen from laughing too hard.
 
2019-03-10 10:17:28 AM  
So, ignorant twatwaffle ignores signs, staff, other guests AND COMMON FORKING SENSE to climb over safety barriers to take a selfie with a WILD FORKING ANIMAL (a species known for its savagery) and is SHOCKED to discover the animal doesn't like intruders into its habitat.

There better not be any bullshirt about putting the jaguar down.
 
2019-03-10 10:22:25 AM  
Damn misogynist jaguars.

/"What do you tell a woman with claw marks on both her arms?"
//"Nothing, you already told her twice."
 
2019-03-10 10:36:39 AM  

rudemix: How long will she take to go from being a whimpering puddle of goo traumatized by the realization stupid actions bring bad results to showing the scar off and talking proudly about her jaguar attack?


As long as it takes to heal. Until that time, she will play the poor victim for the sympathy.
 
2019-03-10 10:40:32 AM  
I asked my teen son if he would do something stupid like that and he replied only if you want to commit suicide by Jaguar... The he proceeded to call this woman a moron...
 
2019-03-10 10:40:48 AM  
i.ibb.coView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 10:42:52 AM  
Csb time
When I was a kid, we went to the zoo. It had big cat enclosures that were just bars. A group of people were taking a picture of a jaguar, that thing spun around and proceeded to spray them. I have avoided open enclosures like that ever since. Not that I do zoos anymore
 
2019-03-10 10:45:17 AM  

Gpzjock: At Port Lympne Safari Park in Kent all dangerous animal enclosures have mesh on the inside of the bars to protect the dangerous animals from the dumb animals taking selfies. By comparison their African Experience tour puts you in the back of an open truck which drives through an open area full of grazing herd animals including zebra, deer and antelope. The most dangerous thing in that area is the ostrich. The ride is so steep and bumpy most folk on the truck are too busy hanging on to try and take selfies. Most of the animals give the truck a wide berth but the ostrich is a bastard.


I was at a zoo that had some ostrich(ies?). They were all over on the far end of the pen and I thought "I wonder if they eat leaves?" And bent a tree branch over the enclosure down a couple of feet within their reach and they came over. And yes they do eat leaves apparently. While one was distracted with eating I petted it on the head. Some lady walks up and sees the other one standing there, and says "oh, I can pet them?" I say "absolutely." The lady reaches over and the ostrich bites the holy crap out of her. She clutches her hand to her chest and glares at me "you said I could pet them." I reply (still petting the other one) "yeah. I said you could pet it. I didn't say a damn thing about it not biting you. Consider it an important life lesson." She called me an asshole and stormed off.
/learning is fun
 
2019-03-10 10:51:19 AM  
before selfies - before cellphones - I visited the Potter Park Zoo in Lansing, MI a few times. they had a pair of gray wolves in a largish enclosure that was simply 2" chain link fence and a 2-foot high token log railing suggesting you stay about 5 feet away.  This could have been a problem if a kid stuck their arm through, if the wolves did not respond to any humans by staying as far away in the exact center of their area, and never approached the fence.

Except once, when the old lady who looked 85 or so came and went past the barrier and the wolves came over wagging, pressed against the clain-link, and blissed out for about 15 minutes while she scratched their sides through fence, zoo personnel ignoring her. Then they went back to staying as far from people as possible.
 
2019-03-10 11:07:28 AM  
I can't think of an alternative word, but I object to calling this an "Attack" when it is entirely down to the stupidity of the person.

It's the dry land equivalent of those breathless shark attack stories that include some variation of the phrase "...a diver was attacked today while hand-feeding sharks..." Jebus Christ, what did you think was going to happen when sharks are behaving like sharks?
 
2019-03-10 11:11:09 AM  

MythDragon: Gpzjock: At Port Lympne Safari Park in Kent all dangerous animal enclosures have mesh on the inside of the bars to protect the dangerous animals from the dumb animals taking selfies. By comparison their African Experience tour puts you in the back of an open truck which drives through an open area full of grazing herd animals including zebra, deer and antelope. The most dangerous thing in that area is the ostrich. The ride is so steep and bumpy most folk on the truck are too busy hanging on to try and take selfies. Most of the animals give the truck a wide berth but the ostrich is a bastard.

I was at a zoo that had some ostrich(ies?). They were all over on the far end of the pen and I thought "I wonder if they eat leaves?" And bent a tree branch over the enclosure down a couple of feet within their reach and they came over. And yes they do eat leaves apparently. While one was distracted with eating I petted it on the head. Some lady walks up and sees the other one standing there, and says "oh, I can pet them?" I say "absolutely." The lady reaches over and the ostrich bites the holy crap out of her. She clutches her hand to her chest and glares at me "you said I could pet them." I reply (still petting the other one) "yeah. I said you could pet it. I didn't say a damn thing about it not biting you. Consider it an important life lesson." She called me an asshole and stormed off.
/learning is fun


Indeed, ostriches are not to be trusted. I didn't use the plural because the bastard's mate was very calm and benign. She might have been a lot more aggressive if she had a clutch of eggs nearby.
 
2019-03-10 11:13:59 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-03-10 11:14:06 AM  

Hoopy Frood: Good thing they had that affiliate story to confirm that she's "expected to survive" her "non-life threatening injuries". On her arm.


You ever been clawed by a cat?

Jaguars have claws three or four inches long. They hook alligators with them.
 
2019-03-10 11:14:20 AM  

ltnor: Csb time
When I was a kid, we went to the zoo. It had big cat enclosures that were just bars. A group of people were taking a picture of a jaguar, that thing spun around and proceeded to spray them. I have avoided open enclosures like that ever since. Not that I do zoos anymore


Was at an ape exhibit once as a child.

The group in front of us about 30 feet down the walkway were taunting some chimpanzees.

To my great delight they started yelling and running when the chimps started tossing their shiat on them.
Splattered them good.
I got yelled at by my parents because I was laughing so hard.
 
2019-03-10 11:17:14 AM  
I'm sure that woman learned a valuable lesson about respecting safety signs and...oh, who am I kidding? She's probably already contacted an ambulance chaser and started a gofundme for the thousands of dollars of plastic surgery it will take to cover up the reminders of her stupidity.
 
2019-03-10 11:17:16 AM  

SwiftFox: before selfies - before cellphones - I visited the Potter Park Zoo in Lansing, MI a few times. they had a pair of gray wolves in a largish enclosure that was simply 2" chain link fence and a 2-foot high token log railing suggesting you stay about 5 feet away.  This could have been a problem if a kid stuck their arm through, if the wolves did not respond to any humans by staying as far away in the exact center of their area, and never approached the fence.

Except once, when the old lady who looked 85 or so came and went past the barrier and the wolves came over wagging, pressed against the clain-link, and blissed out for about 15 minutes while she scratched their sides through fence, zoo personnel ignoring her. Then they went back to staying as far from people as possible.


When people get old enough, they don't fear anymore, because everyone else should fear them.  It isn't age that killed the others, it is the remaining old people who killed them.  Oldest living person, there can only be one.
 
2019-03-10 11:23:19 AM  

ltnor: Csb time
When I was a kid, we went to the zoo. It had big cat enclosures that were just bars. A group of people were taking a picture of a jaguar, that thing spun around and proceeded to spray them. I have avoided open enclosures like that ever since. Not that I do zoos anymore


I saw similar at a zoo in West Palm Beach.  The tiger turned around and when his tail started twitching I grabbed some dude right behind the tiger and pulled him about 6 feet to the side.  "What the fu<spray spray spray> holy shiat dude, thanks."

I didn't think I got any on me but a few minutes later my nose told me I did.  Yech.
 
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