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(BBC-US)   How cross-cultural couples handle challenge of loving the SO while loathing the foods he/she craves   (bbc.com) divider line
    More: Sappy, Nutrition, Gujarati cuisine, Christa Lei Montesines Sonido, Food, Cooking, Meat, Taste, Marriage  
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546 clicks; posted to Food » on 09 Mar 2019 at 2:55 PM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-03-09 10:56:36 AM  
First time I've seen someone with four names.

/also, the spicy food couple looks really happy together
 
Ant
2019-03-09 03:05:42 PM  
I could probably handle being married to a vegetarian, but never a vegan.
 
2019-03-09 03:07:02 PM  

Ant: I could probably handle being married to a vegetarian, but never a vegan.


At least you'll always remember that they're one for one reason: because they'll tell you every change they get.

/try the veal
 
2019-03-09 03:12:09 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Tobi would get annoyed about Christa over-ordering at restaurants, and the amount she spent on food

and not how fat she has become?
 
2019-03-09 03:25:36 PM  
Married to a woman from Japan.

/serious differences
//she always wins.
 
2019-03-09 03:40:15 PM  

themindiswatching: Ant: I could probably handle being married to a vegetarian, but never a vegan.

At least you'll always remember that they're one for one reason: because they'll tell you every change they get.

/try the veal tofu


ftfy
 
2019-03-09 03:48:46 PM  

iron de havilland: themindiswatching: Ant: I could probably handle being married to a vegetarian, but never a vegan.

At least you'll always remember that they're one for one reason: because they'll tell you every change they get.

/try the veal tofu

ftfy


it's killer

Killer Tofu
Youtube p7c3bQQmwVE
 
2019-03-09 03:54:28 PM  
Since when is Gujarati food spicy?
 
2019-03-09 03:55:29 PM  
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Unavailable for comment.
 
2019-03-09 04:13:41 PM  
Years ago I was at Chinese restaurant with a group of friends.  As is common, the plan was to pass things around.  The woman I was sitting next to muttered something about not being able to share, so I asked for clarification.  She was a vegan.  I told her to point out another dish she was okay with and I ordered it.  No big deal, right?  Ended up dating for several years.
 
2019-03-09 05:45:55 PM  
The woman I'm dating hates all seafood and turkey.  It's a damn good thing we both like chicken or shared meals would be really hard.


/ I could eat seafood daily
 
2019-03-09 05:48:28 PM  
It's funny when you grow up with a certain culture, you get used to certain tastes. I think most people can appreciate well-made food from other cultures but I guess when it comes to your every day foods, you have your preferences.

It seems like the woman from TFA didn't even try to learn how to cook food from her husband's culture. Maybe she did, it was sparse on details. But it seems like it would be easy to compromise and a lot of those couples didn't want to. Unless they were extreme cases. I've gotten to a point where I'd prefer to not eat certain cuisines and if I married someone from a culture that ate those cuisines I might not want to eat it every day either.
 
2019-03-09 07:19:24 PM  

HairBolus: [img.fark.net image 464x261]
Tobi would get annoyed about Christa over-ordering at restaurants, and the amount she spent on food

and not how fat she has become?


Or how she eats in bed and gets crumbs everyehere? Or the part where she expected him to pay for everything?
 
2019-03-09 07:25:27 PM  
In each one of these relationships one person is being an ass and the other is putting up with them.

Don't like the way your wife cooks? farking get in the kitchen then. Want to be vegan? Cool, don't give others shiat about it. Want to order three entrees at restaurants and eat extra meals in bed? Go to a decent physiologist.
 
2019-03-09 07:26:19 PM  

redbucket: In each one of these relationships one person is being an ass and the other is putting up with them.

Don't like the way your wife cooks? farking get in the kitchen then. Want to be vegan? Cool, don't give others shiat about it. Want to order three entrees at restaurants and eat extra meals in bed? Go to a decent physiologist.


Psychologist*
 
2019-03-09 11:17:59 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: It's funny when you grow up with a certain culture, you get used to certain tastes. I think most people can appreciate well-made food from other cultures but I guess when it comes to your every day foods, you have your preferences.

It seems like the woman from TFA didn't even try to learn how to cook food from her husband's culture. Maybe she did, it was sparse on details. But it seems like it would be easy to compromise and a lot of those couples didn't want to. Unless they were extreme cases. I've gotten to a point where I'd prefer to not eat certain cuisines and if I married someone from a culture that ate those cuisines I might not want to eat it every day either.


The giveaway was that she fed their kids nothing but American food. That's a sign that she wasn't interested in connecting their kids to their father's culture, and couldn't even make the compromise that he could cook food for the kids part of the time.

My sister's husband is Indian and her inlaws don't exactly approve of any of her cooking other than her baked goods, since it's not like Pennsylvania Dutch cooking is big on the spices other than saffron, so she does what a normal person would do and just brings desserts to family gatherings. She and her husband both cook for their toddler, and kid will ask for foods as wildly different as dal rice and shoofly pie as a result. The lady in TFA doesn't seem like she was interested in trying to find any kind of compromises, she just expected her husband and his family to drop their food culture entirely.
 
2019-03-09 11:40:25 PM  

redbucket: In each one of these relationships one person is being an ass and the other is putting up with them.

Don't like the way your wife cooks? farking get in the kitchen then. Want to be vegan? Cool, don't give others shiat about it. Want to order three entrees at restaurants and eat extra meals in bed? Go to a decent physiologist.


The food conflcts aren't the real problem in all the relationships. They're a sign there are deeper issues involved like a lack of compromise, financial problems, or disrespect of the other person.

First lady was "Indian food is too spicy and weird for my taste and I'm not going to cook it." Went on for year after year until they divorced over "food." But they got back together again.

Second lady is vegan who thinks eating any animal product is murder and thinks anyone who eats meat is beneath contempt and makes her ill. It's a case of "eat and think like me or you're scum." Not a good way to have a healthy relationship.

Third lady thinks she's entitled to everything. Slob who eats in bed, wastes food by buying too much of it, and who expects him to pay for everything. She doesn't care about him, only that he pays for it.
 
2019-03-10 01:10:41 AM  

themindiswatching: First time I've seen someone with four names.


I was given four names. Mrs Clam was given five and she didn't take mine, because enough is enough. We managed to squish 'em all on the wedding invitations.

/Mrs Clam's mom was from Brazil and I'm a fourth-generation Rhode Island Jew. The way we handle different foods from our backgrounds is to try them all. The ones we both like (latkes and clam cakes) we have all year around. The ones we don't (bacalhau) she'll make when I'm out of town or get at Brazilian/Portuguese restaurants when I order something else.
 
2019-03-10 03:47:49 AM  

themindiswatching: First time I've seen someone with four names.

/also, the spicy food couple looks really happy together


Most Catholics in America technically have 4 names, for example the second R in George R. R. Martin is his confirmation name.  Most Catholics don't use theirs though... I kinda cheated and picked St. Michael, because I'm already a Mike... and dude had a flaming sword.
 
2019-03-10 04:23:45 AM  

eyeq360: The food conflcts aren't the real problem in all the relationships. They're a sign there are deeper issues involved like a lack of compromise, financial problems, or disrespect of the other person.

First lady was "Indian food is too spicy and weird for my taste and I'm not going to cook it." Went on for year after year until they divorced over "food." But they got back together again.

Second lady is vegan who thinks eating any animal product is murder and thinks anyone who eats meat is beneath contempt and makes her ill. It's a case of "eat and think like me or you're scum." Not a good way to have a healthy relationship.

Third lady thinks she's entitled to everything. Slob who eats in bed, wastes food by buying too much of it, and who expects him to pay for everything. She doesn't care about him, only that he pays for it.


Yeah.  I'm a picky eater, I can't imagine divorcing a wife of 20 years over food.  It's just pants on head stupid... like, if nothing else, get a second oven and cook your own meals, and give your children the choice of which ones they want.

For the second couple... dude, it's just not going to work.  You already know it, you have to sneak out to get meat, if you can't be yourself in your own home it's not worth it.  If she were a "live and let live" kinda vegan that would be one thing.  But she's not, and you're not willing to go vegan, pretending to be one in front of her is going to cause a lot of problems in the long run.

Didn't read all of the third one.
 
2019-03-10 06:48:48 AM  
Food is basic. It binds us together. When we gathered together dressed in hides, and excited about this new thing called 'fire' we did so to share food. All our important events are generally associated with food at some point in the celebration. We gather as family around food. We share food, because that is what helped create human society. It's that basic.

If you can't share food...then you can't really share a big part of your life. If you don't try...then you are rejecting that person. Who they are. It's that basic. Everyone has stuff they don't like. Okra? I'm out. And I grew up in the South, but even then, being able to avoid okra wasn't that hard, and there is so much more to Southern cuisine than okra, that I could get by. Don't like seafood? Then dating someone from Maine is going to be hard, but it's doable. Don't like heat? There ARE Indian dishes that aren't firey. Not a fan of sushi? You can still find plenty in Japanese cuisine that might be more to your liking. Chinese? Huge palette of flavors, styles, and dishes to choose from. You either can put in a modicum of effort to learn about where your partner comes from, and find value in them, or just admit that you're not all THAT into them, and that things are going to fail, because you can't accept who they really are. Food is that basic.
 
2019-03-10 10:26:22 AM  
I could never date let alone marry a picky eater. I can think of very few things in the world that irritate me more than someone who has the palate of a spoiled 3 year old.

I swear that it is a uniquely American trait. The "I don't like fish"  or "its too spicy" people are subhuman cretins ill deserving of sharing oxygen with the rest of humanity. The only thing worse are neuveax rich vegans, you know the primordial spawn who feed their children vegan diets.
 
TWX
2019-03-10 12:52:20 PM  
We're not cross-cultural but at one point my wife only really ate four things: chicken, bread, potatoes, and hotdogs, and into adulthood her tastes weren't really a whole lot wider, and where they've branched into ethnic foods those foods have still been largely based on poultry, wheat, and tubers.

She's grown a bit in that she's willing to eat more Mexican food, more Chinese food, and we get Indian and Himalayan from time to time, but even with that she doesn't eat beef or pork outside of the context of hotdogs and bacon. Even with pizza she's still relatively confined to pepperoni as the only meat topping.

It does make meal prep difficult since she gets bored with chicken but won't eat steak or porkchops or hamburger. At least our daughter seems to be taking after me more than her, willing to try most of what I'm eating and already enjoying Mexican and Chinese food. One of these days we'll expand into South Asia but until her egg-allergy trial-test this coming week we've been playing it safe. If she can eat eggs that'll make life a lot easier at least for me in meal planning and prep.
 
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