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(Global News (Canada))   Americans use too much toilet paper, which is wiping out forests and sending the environment up shyte creek   (globalnews.ca) divider line
    More: Sad, Paper, Toilet paper, toilet paper, Carbon dioxide, use of low-impact alternative, tissue products, U.S. consumers, Cree  
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3020 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2019 at 9:47 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2019-02-25 06:45:54 PM  
That's why I've moved to the three seashells method. Not only is it environmentally friendly, I can assert dominance when I pull out my satchel of bespoke seashells that I had aged and moulded to my particular buttocks and hand shape.
 
2019-02-25 06:54:12 PM  
The real problem is that the rest of the world is full of sh*t.
 
2019-02-25 06:56:47 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-02-25 07:07:32 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-02-25 07:34:08 PM  
Bidet, mate.
 
2019-02-25 07:37:41 PM  
Bought a toilet seat attachment off Amazon for $27. Took me about 5 minutes to install. Why isn't this catching on like wild fire??
 
2019-02-25 07:41:21 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

//and they're dishwasher safe
 
2019-02-25 07:47:51 PM  
What are we supposed to use.....harsh language?!
 
2019-02-25 07:58:33 PM  
"U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.
 
2019-02-25 07:59:09 PM  
U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, accounting for a fifth of the world's tissue consumption, according to the report by environmental groups Stand.earth and the Natural Resources Defense Council.

I don't think we're necessarily under eliminating.  But there is no way my wife and I go through 3 rolls combined per week.  Let alone 3 each.  Seriously.  How much are people shiatting if they use that many rolls?
 
2019-02-25 08:08:07 PM  

revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.


Yeah, these numbers don't make sense. That's about how much I went through with three roommates.
 
2019-02-25 08:23:51 PM  

davidphogan: revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.

Yeah, these numbers don't make sense. That's about how much I went through with three roommates.


img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size

Hoomans aren't the only ones who like toilet paper
 
2019-02-25 08:27:04 PM  

doosh: Bought a toilet seat attachment off Amazon for $27. Took me about 5 minutes to install. Why isn't this catching on like wild fire??


img.fark.netView Full Size


Check the pilot light.
 
2019-02-25 08:30:02 PM  
Maybe it depends on the quality and ply count.  I know I use more with the flimsy stuff.
 
2019-02-25 08:30:52 PM  
Actually, lumber companies plant entire forests to be used for toilet paper. The article is crap.
 
2019-02-25 08:32:06 PM  
To be fair, the current occupant of the White House is skewing the average through his nightly brownfall of semi-digested Big Macs and Diet Coke.
 
2019-02-25 08:34:13 PM  

Parthenogenetic: davidphogan: revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.

Yeah, these numbers don't make sense. That's about how much I went through with three roommates.

[img.fark.net image 368x340]
[img.fark.net image 400x225]
Hoomans aren't the only ones who like toilet paper


Touche. But if you have that cat you can install the roll backwards so it comes off the side closest to the wall.
 
2019-02-25 08:41:17 PM  

revrendjim: Parthenogenetic: davidphogan: revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.

Yeah, these numbers don't make sense. That's about how much I went through with three roommates.

[img.fark.net image 368x340]
[img.fark.net image 400x225]
Hoomans aren't the only ones who like toilet paper

Touche. But if you have that cat you can install the roll backwards so it comes off the side closest to the wall.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-02-25 08:57:12 PM  

revrendjim: Parthenogenetic: davidphogan: revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.

Yeah, these numbers don't make sense. That's about how much I went through with three roommates.

[img.fark.net image 368x340]
[img.fark.net image 400x225]
Hoomans aren't the only ones who like toilet paper

Touche. But if you have that cat you can install the roll backwards so it comes off the side closest to the wall.


My 3 year old wasted half a roll last night before I even noticed he was in the bathroom, and he wasn't even using the toilet, so there is that.
 
2019-02-25 09:52:03 PM  
bee DAY
 
2019-02-25 09:53:41 PM  
The problem is all the toilet paper wasted by cats when they attack the roll.

At the bottom of the article: "Per capita, U.S. consumers use about 141 toilet paper rolls a year, compared with the United Kingdom at 127, Japan at 91 and France at 71, the report said."

There are countries that use no toilet paper at all. You don't want to visit there.
 
2019-02-25 09:53:52 PM  

optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]


My hairy Nordic ass laughs at the sad spray on that thing.
 
2019-02-25 09:53:56 PM  
What is it with the size of the rolls lately? I think the smallest Charmin offers is like "Super Mega." If I had a fixed dispenser, I wouldn't be able to fit them on.
Who are these people that need that much extra t.p. per roll?
 
2019-02-25 09:54:26 PM  

doosh: Bought a toilet seat attachment off Amazon for $27. Took me about 5 minutes to install. Why isn't this catching on like wild fire??


This. I love mine.
 
2019-02-25 09:55:01 PM  
Teenager daughters  up that average considerably.
 
zez
2019-02-25 09:55:04 PM  
Shopper hilariously breaks down confusion of paper towel pricing
Youtube 8T3odiXMU04
 
2019-02-25 09:55:13 PM  
The yellow pages, ftw.
 
2019-02-25 09:55:19 PM  

revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.


Actually, 3 rolls per week is pretty good for 330 million people.
 
2019-02-25 09:56:03 PM  

davidphogan: revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.

Yeah, these numbers don't make sense. That's about how much I went through with three roommates.


Probably this accounts for businesses and other places with public restrooms that might replace partial rolls with new ones to mitigate complaints that there is none in the stall.
 
2019-02-25 09:56:11 PM  

optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]


Inexpensive, easy to install, and so much better than toilet paper. I love mine!
 
2019-02-25 09:56:51 PM  

revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.


Taco Bell serves about 40 million people a week in the US.
 
2019-02-25 09:57:00 PM  

LordZorch: Actually, lumber companies plant entire forests to be used for toilet paper. The article is crap.


Yup. It's a farmed crop now. And they don't even kill and replant anymore - they just cut 4 or so feet up so that at least one row of branches survives to grow into a new tree. It's a harvest
 
2019-02-25 09:58:13 PM  

doosh: Bought a toilet seat attachment off Amazon for $27. Took me about 5 minutes to install. Why isn't this catching on like wild fire??


I try to convince people, but they look at me like I'm crazy. Best Amazon purchase in a while!
 
2019-02-25 09:58:14 PM  

CFitzsimmons: optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]

Inexpensive, easy to install, and so much better than toilet paper. I love mine!


I had to scroll upthread to make sure you weren't talking about the corn cobs
 
2019-02-25 09:58:37 PM  
Bullshiat! They must be wiping bulls asses.
 
2019-02-25 10:00:31 PM  
Just shiat in the shower like I do.
 
2019-02-25 10:00:45 PM  

edmo: Teenager daughters  up that average considerably.


Are padded bras that much more expensive than normal?
 
2019-02-25 10:01:25 PM  

blahpers: optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]

My hairy Nordic ass laughs at the sad spray on that thing.


It also has a scourge setting.
 
2019-02-25 10:01:39 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: CFitzsimmons: optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]

Inexpensive, easy to install, and so much better than toilet paper. I love mine!

I had to scroll upthread to make sure you weren't talking about the corn cobs


I get the concept.  But well, maybe you're clean, but now your ass is dripping wet?
 
2019-02-25 10:02:07 PM  

tpmchris: Just shiat in the shower like I do.


And heel it down the drain, dont forget.
 
2019-02-25 10:02:31 PM  

WastrelWay: The problem is all the toilet paper wasted by cats when they attack the roll.

At the bottom of the article: "Per capita, U.S. consumers use about 141 toilet paper rolls a year, compared with the United Kingdom at 127, Japan at 91 and France at 71, the report said."

There are countries that use no toilet paper at all. You don't want to visit there.


I'm not sure about the UK, but bidet is a French word, so there's that. ... I believe the Japanese love their bidets as well.
 
2019-02-25 10:02:43 PM  

optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]


so, when i aim my piss stream at that, does it clean itself off before the next user blasts their b hole with it?
 
2019-02-25 10:03:48 PM  
Is PETA defending trees now?
 
2019-02-25 10:04:06 PM  
I've ridden on public transportation with you stank-asses. I'd say you're not using enough. I hear you folks in the other stall. Sounds like you're unrolling just two or three squares and then, I assume, waving it vaguely in the direction of your butt.

I don't know how so many adults can not be properly toilet trained. If you wipe, and the paper is brown, you get another handful and wipe some more. Keep going till it comes back clean. Flush multiple times if you need to. But if the last wadded up handful you drop in the toilet isn't sparkling white you have failed at life.
 
2019-02-25 10:04:53 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2019-02-25 10:05:56 PM  

blahpers: optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]

My hairy Nordic ass laughs at the sad spray on that thing.


We have two of these bidet seats in our house, on the insistence of my wife.

Our more expensive  Kohler seat in the master bath does the puny squirt that you see in that there animation.

The cheaper off-brand Amazon one in our downstairs bathroom, however, doesn't mess around. It has a knob to adjust the volume, but as far as I can tell it does nothing. I can assure you that thing will depilitate that Nordic ass of yours on its lowest setting.
 
2019-02-25 10:07:42 PM  

Dead_Cat_In_A_Tophat: optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]

so, when i aim my piss stream at that, does it clean itself off before the next user blasts their b hole with it?


It hides in it's cave with the door. It's right there in the video.
 
2019-02-25 10:07:50 PM  

dstanley: tpmchris: Just shiat in the shower like I do.

And heel it down the drain, dont forget.


sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.ukView Full Size
 
2019-02-25 10:09:23 PM  

revrendjim: "U.S. consumers use roughly three rolls of toilet paper a week, "

That can't possibly be right. That would be about a half a roll per poop, assuming that most people are daily poopers. I suppose It's possible that my assumptions are wrong and other people poop 20 or 30 times a day, but I don't think so.


Morning, noon, and night at least.  Of course I also eat twice the amount most people do.  I guess it's my fault.

/Sorry?
 
2019-02-25 10:09:26 PM  

CFitzsimmons: optikeye: [img.fark.net image 630x420]

Inexpensive, easy to install, and so much better than toilet paper. I love mine!


Same here. Got one last year for my birthday. Took me six months before I was brave enough to try the water thing. Now I can't live without it. PS. Never jump up out of surprise the first time you try the water thingy. Makes a mess.
 
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