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(USA Today)   My boss stinks. No, seriously he stinks on ice   (usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Employment, Hygiene, Johnny C. Taylor, company's customers, Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association, probationary period, new employee, co-workers' personal hygiene  
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5445 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2019 at 11:01 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2019-01-15 09:40:59 AM  
There's some things you can do:

- Send him a soap gift basket
- Replace his name plate with "Stinky"
- Replace his coffee with mouthwash
- Go steal a bunch of air fresheners from the janitor closet and tape them to his office door.
- If he ever says, "I'm going to get on my soapbox," tell him, "You're implying you had soap at some point....I don't believe it."
- Gather some fellow employees, invite him to lunch, and instead, take him to an outdoor car wash and hose his ass down.
- Send an anonymous e-mail saying, "You so smelly even farm animals go 'God damn!'."
- Post a note on the lunch room that bans, fish, shrimp, durian fruit, and your boss.
 
2019-01-15 09:58:48 AM  
Nothing says you care like giving a card.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 11:03:29 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 11:06:53 AM  
Made the mistake of reading TFA

Q: "My boss has body odor and bad breath. What can I do about this issue?" - Anonymous
Taylor:
Again, HR is your best ally.

Shiatty advice.
 
2019-01-15 11:07:19 AM  
Try having a frank conversation with him. Folks are so afraid of confrontation that probably no one has told him. I guarantee it will be a wake up call and changes will be made immediately. No one wants to go around stinking like that, they just assume their hygiene routine is sufficient.
 
2019-01-15 11:10:09 AM  
"What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!
 
2019-01-15 11:13:07 AM  

mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!


I had that copied as well.
My answer would be:
Avoid him in the morning. When you see heading to the bathroom, do the same.
As soon as he flushed do the same, walk out and go "Hey You!" And extend your hand.
Whether he shakes it or not follow up with, yeah, sorry, I forgot people should wash their hands before interacting with others. What was I thinking.
 
2019-01-15 11:13:15 AM  
That's because his bathtub is frozen.
 
2019-01-15 11:14:38 AM  

mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!


You should really wash your dick after touching it with your dirty hands.
 
2019-01-15 11:16:06 AM  

Bowen: Made the mistake of reading TFA

Q: "My boss has body odor and bad breath. What can I do about this issue?" - Anonymous
Taylor: Again, HR is your best ally.

Shiatty advice.


"Because this is a tricky one, you should immediately involve your human resources department, which is trained to handle such sensitive conversations."

WaitYoureSerious.jpg

/seriously, awkward/courageous conversations is not something HR people take a school, nor have I seen it much offered as training. Hmm, I have an idea!
//wish me luck
 
2019-01-15 11:17:09 AM  
I had a friend in high school who had some sort of genetic ailment that caused him to smell very acrid. It was eye-blistering, as they say.

He became a very aggressive defence lawyer and a judge.

It just goes to show you can overcome any handicap.

Your honour, my eyes are watering so bad I can not read my deposition. I would like to call for a short recess.

You should have memorized your deposition last night. Request denied.
 
2019-01-15 11:17:18 AM  

mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!


Maybe he's a disciple of Dr. Gott:

https://www.tulsaworld.com/archives/d​r​-gott-washing-has-place-in-bathroom/ar​ticle_689df27b-63c6-5a65-b468-22acfb03​b69d.html
 
2019-01-15 11:19:57 AM  

Bowen: Made the mistake of reading TFA

Q: "My boss has body odor and bad breath. What can I do about this issue?" - Anonymous
Taylor: Again, HR is your best ally.

Shiatty advice.


Not if they have the puppets.

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-15 11:22:02 AM  
Ah HR, the lesser evil
 
2019-01-15 11:22:04 AM  
I used to be bothered by people who one-hand their cell phones while standing at the urinal until I realized that if they used both hands to post "pee is coming out now", things could get potentially messy.
 
2019-01-15 11:23:58 AM  

whatsupchuck: I used to be bothered by people who one-hand their cell phones while standing at the urinal until I realized that if they used both hands to post "pee is coming out now", things could get potentially messy.


Something something liveleak.
 
2019-01-15 11:25:01 AM  
One of the most shameful and embarassing things I ever did was, in the Navy, we had this new guy come in to our shore base, out of the blue.  which was a little strange.  he just showed up one day, "please welcome petty officer smith."  There was an odd odor I could sorta smell when he was around but I never I guess really noticed per se.  One day I had to go do something in this tiny, tiny area where another dude was training the "smell" guy up on something.  I walk in and this odor is just overpowering.  I go, *sniff*.....*sniff*....."Jesus!"

the trainer guy looks at me with a look of like, "SHUT UP STOP TALKING DON'T SAY ANYTHING" and the Smell guy kinda drops his head.  I go, "it smells like nut and butt in here!  what the fark?"  trainer guy looks at me like "I WAS TELLING YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING."

The smell guy goes, "it's me.  I have medical condition where my body can't process certain enzymes and the by-product basically leaks out my pores.  that's why i'm here.  they couldn't handle my condition on the ship, I'm going to the Naval Hospital to get it looked at.  so im temporarily stationed here while they try to figure it out."

i felt so very, very ashamed and I sincerely apologized to him.  "it's ok man, it happens, i know you didn't know anything....it sucks but i can't control it.  it's ok, really."

poor guy.
 
2019-01-15 11:27:36 AM  

brantgoose: I had a friend in high school who had some sort of genetic ailment that caused him to smell very acrid. It was eye-blistering, as they say.

He became a very aggressive defence lawyer and a judge.

It just goes to show you can overcome any handicap.


It's not a handicap, it's a weapon.
 
2019-01-15 11:28:12 AM  
HR will respond empathetically while addressing the issue professionally.

larf
 
2019-01-15 11:30:14 AM  

rickythepenguin: One of the most shameful and embarassing things I ever did was, in the Navy, we had this new guy come in to our shore base, out of the blue.  which was a little strange.  he just showed up one day, "please welcome petty officer smith."  There was an odd odor I could sorta smell when he was around but I never I guess really noticed per se.  One day I had to go do something in this tiny, tiny area where another dude was training the "smell" guy up on something.  I walk in and this odor is just overpowering.  I go, *sniff*.....*sniff*....."Jesus!"

the trainer guy looks at me with a look of like, "SHUT UP STOP TALKING DON'T SAY ANYTHING" and the Smell guy kinda drops his head.  I go, "it smells like nut and butt in here!  what the fark?"  trainer guy looks at me like "I WAS TELLING YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING."

The smell guy goes, "it's me.  I have medical condition where my body can't process certain enzymes and the by-product basically leaks out my pores.  that's why i'm here.  they couldn't handle my condition on the ship, I'm going to the Naval Hospital to get it looked at.  so im temporarily stationed here while they try to figure it out."

i felt so very, very ashamed and I sincerely apologized to him.  "it's ok man, it happens, i know you didn't know anything....it sucks but i can't control it.  it's ok, really."

poor guy.


I have medical condition where I sometimes reak of booze.
 
2019-01-15 11:31:10 AM  

rickythepenguin: One of the most shameful and embarassing things I ever did was, in the Navy, we had this new guy come in to our shore base, out of the blue.  which was a little strange.  he just showed up one day, "please welcome petty officer smith."  There was an odd odor I could sorta smell when he was around but I never I guess really noticed per se.  One day I had to go do something in this tiny, tiny area where another dude was training the "smell" guy up on something.  I walk in and this odor is just overpowering.  I go, *sniff*.....*sniff*....."Jesus!"

the trainer guy looks at me with a look of like, "SHUT UP STOP TALKING DON'T SAY ANYTHING" and the Smell guy kinda drops his head.  I go, "it smells like nut and butt in here!  what the fark?"  trainer guy looks at me like "I WAS TELLING YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING."

The smell guy goes, "it's me.  I have medical condition where my body can't process certain enzymes and the by-product basically leaks out my pores.  that's why i'm here.  they couldn't handle my condition on the ship, I'm going to the Naval Hospital to get it looked at.  so im temporarily stationed here while they try to figure it out."

i felt so very, very ashamed and I sincerely apologized to him.  "it's ok man, it happens, i know you didn't know anything....it sucks but i can't control it.  it's ok, really."

poor guy.


Still being referred to as "smell guy" all these years later...
 
2019-01-15 11:31:23 AM  
Dating myself here, but Scope used to have commercials in which people would receive anonymous bottles of Scope from neighbors or coworkers. Some guy would just show up to work and a bottle of Scope would be sitting on his desk, or a person would open their mailbox to find a neighbor had left a bottle. Carlin had a bit talking about how dangerous that was in that that bottle of Scope might be the last straw sending some psycho over the edge and into the tower to take potshots at passers by. The punch line being "9 dead and they blame Marine training."

The part about HR being trained to handle such situations made me think of a Roseanne episode in which Leon, the restaurant manager at Rodbell's department store is promoted to manager of HR. When Roseanne asked him what a "manager of HR" was, Leon responded, "I don't know. I am sure there will be some literature in the desk."
 
2019-01-15 11:31:47 AM  
I wash my hands before I touch my dick.
 
2019-01-15 11:32:44 AM  
I've worked with many a stinky boss, thing is the work being done had everyone stinking by the end of the day. Ranch work is a dirty, stinky mess at most times and no one cared about BO while working but there showers taken as soon as we got home and the next day you started out clean.

I can't imagine having to work with a person that stinks all the time, especially in a close office setting. At least we were outside most of the time while getting grubby out on the ranch. All hail fresh air!
 
2019-01-15 11:34:35 AM  

sboyle1020: Still being referred to as "smell guy" all these years later...


he came to our base just as I was discharging.  I knew him for like a month.  really nice guy but I don't remember his name, but I kinda remember what he looked like.

ugh.  just the memory of that makes me cringe. I hope he got better.  that would just be dreadful to have that condition.  dating would be hard, work, etc.
 
2019-01-15 11:38:50 AM  
If you have a problem with a co-worker and you take it to HR -- you now have problems with 2 co-workers.
 
2019-01-15 11:40:03 AM  

rickythepenguin: sboyle1020: Still being referred to as "smell guy" all these years later...

he came to our base just as I was discharging.  I knew him for like a month.  really nice guy but I don't remember his name, but I kinda remember what he looked like.

ugh.  just the memory of that makes me cringe. I hope he got better.  that would just be dreadful to have that condition.  dating would be hard, work, etc.


As someone who has a skin condition (no where near as serious as smell guy), I can somewhat imagine what the poor guy went through.  It's one thing to stink because of bad hygiene, but to have a condition where you could shower 50 times a day and it wouldn't matter is sad.
 
2019-01-15 11:41:37 AM  
I would like to go back in time & kill the ad exec that was able to convince my dad that Irish spring is both a soap and a deodorant.

It is NOT a deodorant.. you still need to use deodorant!!!
 
2019-01-15 11:44:06 AM  

mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!


What if he has open herpes sores on his penis? Would you not prefer he washes his hands before he touches the bathroom door handle?
 
2019-01-15 11:45:13 AM  
Dealing with this sort of thing must be awkward as hell for HR people. When my work became large enough to need an HR person, one of the first tasks she had to deal with was to take one of the programmers aside to let her know that she had to be more cognizant of her hygiene because the body odour was getting to her office neighbours.
 
2019-01-15 11:52:14 AM  

sboyle1020: I can somewhat imagine what the poor guy went through. It's one thing to stink because of bad hygiene, but to have a condition where you could shower 50 times a day and it wouldn't matter is sad.


not terribly long after i discharged, i was watching the news and they did a story about some TV news person that had the same disease.  i was like, "holy crap, i knew someone with that!"  a fishy, pungent odor.
 
2019-01-15 11:56:27 AM  

devilEther: mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!

What if he has open herpes sores on his penis? Would you not prefer he washes his hands before he touches the bathroom door handle?


Ooh, that's a good point. If we allow people to not wash after touching their nads because their privates are "clean" then anyone who does wash after peeing is basically admitting he's diseased. People with herpes and warts and mrsa sores will be refusing to wash just to avoid the shame of being seen washing.
 
2019-01-15 12:00:23 PM  

rickythepenguin: poor guy


Kind of makes you wonder why he joined the Navy though. Can you imagine what it would have been like in a typical berthing compartment?

On my first WESTPAC we had a guy that, well, we gave him a shower on the flight deck one night and used the aircraft wash brushes to get the message across.
 
2019-01-15 12:10:01 PM  
Just tell the person in the office that will say anything to anyone. Every office setting I've been in always had one, and they were wonderful for getting out the messages no one else wanted to say.

"Don't worry about returning that pen. I don't want it back after you've had your poopy fingers all over it."
 
2019-01-15 12:11:59 PM  

Old_Chief_Scott: Kind of makes you wonder why he joined the Navy though. Can you imagine what it would have been like in a typical berthing compartment?


yeah, i don't know if the condition just 'arises' or if he always had it or whatever.  all i know is he was TDY to us as we weren't terribly far from Portsmouth Naval.  he was this really cheery, gregarious guy.  i just shudder at what I did.  i hope he's living life to the fullest, sincerely.
 
2019-01-15 12:12:10 PM  

devilEther: mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!

What if he has open herpes sores on his penis? Would you not prefer he washes his hands before he touches the bathroom door handle?


Yes of course.


If i was planning on the door handle getting stuck in my ass.
 
2019-01-15 12:13:12 PM  
Just goes to show that the vast majority of the hands you have shaken has had a dick in it at one time or another.
 
2019-01-15 12:25:03 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: devilEther: mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!

What if he has open herpes sores on his penis? Would you not prefer he washes his hands before he touches the bathroom door handle?

Yes of course.


If i was planning on the door handle getting stuck in my ass.


You touch the handle and absentmindedly scratch your nose a few seconds later. You are now infected.
 
2019-01-15 12:42:04 PM  
Bad B.O. person can infect others with the Rage virus
 
2019-01-15 12:45:01 PM  
Several years ago, I had a client I had to visit annually for a risk assessment. Their one-man IT department constantly had an aroma like Sex Panther. Part of my job involved following him around running an inventory agent on various PC's. Almost every person we visited quietly apologized to me for having to endure chasing a geek who smelled of rotting fish pickled in cat piss. I never commented, being a vendor and a generally polite person, but I did plant a USB flash drive somewhere to trigger their information security plan. Stay downwind of me, or I'll send your company to DEFCON 1.
 
2019-01-15 12:48:09 PM  

rickythepenguin: Old_Chief_Scott: Kind of makes you wonder why he joined the Navy though. Can you imagine what it would have been like in a typical berthing compartment?

yeah, i don't know if the condition just 'arises' or if he always had it or whatever.  all i know is he was TDY to us as we weren't terribly far from Portsmouth Naval.  he was this really cheery, gregarious guy.  i just shudder at what I did.  i hope he's living life to the fullest, sincerely.


You really would think that someone with a condition like that would seek a line of work that doesn't involve being in enclosed spaces with other people. Be a construction worker framing houses outdoors, a forest ranger, a long distance truck driver, something like that. As you say, maybe it was a relatively recent development when you encountered him.
 
2019-01-15 12:54:24 PM  
There was a guy working for the plumber I hired who had breath so bad it made the house reek for days. Smelled like a mix of tooth decay and butthole
 
2019-01-15 01:24:01 PM  

Who Flipped The Crazy Switch On The Matrix: mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!

You should really wash your dick after touching it with your dirty hands.


So what you're saying is that people should get their dick wet at work?
 
2019-01-15 01:39:42 PM  
Anybody that thinks HR exists for the benefit of the employees is extremely naive.  HR is not your friend, no matter how much the company wants you to believe it.  HR exists solely for the benefit of the company.
 
2019-01-15 01:40:39 PM  
In high school gym I was down a few lockers from a guy that when he sweated got a real strong urine smell from his sweat. it was quite pungent.
 
2019-01-15 01:45:24 PM  

groppet: In high school gym I was down a few lockers from a guy that when he sweated got a real strong urine smell from his sweat. it was quite pungent.


For some reason I'm wondering if that's a combination of bad kidneys and a high protein diet (releasing a lot of ureic acid in the blood stream that's being expelled through the sweat.

/all sweat has it. It varies from person to person in intensity.
 
2019-01-15 03:03:40 PM  

Ben Enya: Just goes to show that the vast majority of the hands you have shaken has had a dick in it at one time or another.


mouths kissed...
 
2019-01-15 03:08:25 PM  

mottsnil: Ben Enya: Just goes to show that the vast majority of the hands you have shaken has had a dick in it at one time or another.

mouths kissed...


Go on...
 
2019-01-15 05:22:22 PM  

devilEther: Just another Heartland Weirdass: devilEther: mrsleep: "What should I do about a colleague who doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom?"

Compliment him on his ability to not to piss on his hands!

What if he has open herpes sores on his penis? Would you not prefer he washes his hands before he touches the bathroom door handle?

Yes of course.


If i was planning on the door handle getting stuck in my ass.

You touch the handle and absentmindedly scratch your nose a few seconds later. You are now infected.


Wrong.
 
2019-01-15 06:11:00 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Wrong


You think you can only contract the virus inside your asshole?
 
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