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(Duffel Blog)   Coast Guard begins reselling seized cocaine amid government shutdown   (duffelblog.com) divider line
    More: Satire, United States Coast Guard Cutter, Coast Guard, United States Coast Guard, Canadian Coast Guard, Coast Guard's small boats, Coast Guardsman, Equipment of the United States Coast Guard, PANAMA CITY  
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4188 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2019 at 7:05 PM (27 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-01-12 06:08:58 PM  
Glad to see the Onion has regained its footing of late.
 
2019-01-12 06:52:42 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-12 07:10:56 PM  
That kind of improvisational entrepreneurship is what made America great!
 
2019-01-12 07:13:40 PM  
/If this story was real......Na
//Kinky
///Gotta love it!
 
2019-01-12 07:14:29 PM  
Just like the halcyon days of Ronald Reagan, MAGA.
 
2019-01-12 07:14:47 PM  
this is farking awesome, with just a few clicks of the mouse I'm getting a kilo for penny's
 
2019-01-12 07:15:31 PM  
Very bootstrappy.
 
2019-01-12 07:26:54 PM  
The winning bidder:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-12 07:32:40 PM  
Satire or the plot for the next Michael Bay movie? You decide.
 
2019-01-12 07:37:23 PM  
Are we great again?
 
2019-01-12 07:43:40 PM  
Slab Squatthrust. That is all.
 
2019-01-12 07:46:34 PM  
Hit me up if need your boogar sugar.
/Coastie
//Not getting paid
 
2019-01-12 07:50:55 PM  
And some folks will sadly miss the satire and be outraged in 5-4-3-2-1
 
2019-01-12 07:51:35 PM  

edmo: Glad to see the Onion has regained its footing of late.


Duffelblog is not part of the onion actually.  I thought for the longest time it was.  It's all veterans that started their own satire site.
 
2019-01-12 07:54:32 PM  

LegacyDL: Satire or the plot for the next Michael Bay movie? You decide.


Considering at least 2 Green Berets got caught up in trafficking for cartels recently it is pretty on those nose.  Wouldn't be surprised if a Michael explosion master Bay made a "based on real events" movie.
 
2019-01-12 08:01:14 PM  

bdunseth: And some folks will sadly miss the satire and be outraged in 5-4-3-2-1


I'm not sure satire exists in today's world.
 
2019-01-12 08:11:35 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-12 08:32:38 PM  
  Ok this part made me laugh  "Navy Federal Credit Union has announced a relief program offering a zero-interest loan to qualified affected members, while USAA has offered a free sponsored coffee mug to use while members panhandle outside of all Coast Guard bases. "

A LOT of people biatching about USAA at work, they will lose a ton of customers.  I almost went with USAA, but years ago tried to sign up for insurance but they said I owed them money for car insurance, from before I was old enough to drive.  Nothing in my credit report, so I didn't bother to have them fix it.
 
2019-01-12 08:34:16 PM  
Not the worst idea.
 
2019-01-12 09:05:15 PM  
I mean it worked, mostly, for the CIA.
 
2019-01-12 09:19:11 PM  

robxiii: Ok this part made me laugh  "Navy Federal Credit Union has announced a relief program offering a zero-interest loan to qualified affected members, while USAA has offered a free sponsored coffee mug to use while members panhandle outside of all Coast Guard bases. "

A LOT of people biatching about USAA at work, they will lose a ton of customers.  I almost went with USAA, but years ago tried to sign up for insurance but they said I owed them money for car insurance, from before I was old enough to drive.  Nothing in my credit report, so I didn't bother to have them fix it.


I liked that little dig as well. Been with NFCU for a year now and have been quite happy with them, even more so than I was with my local CU.
 
2019-01-12 09:21:25 PM  
Some how conservatives and Republicans don't care for that much boot-strapey in their Goobermental employees. They like to dole out the patronage and the idea of a government agency becoming self-funding is anathema to them. No patronage, no power and influence, let alone the big corporate suite jobs after they leave office for the revolving doors they actually love, the one that leads to fancy lobbies and big money.
 
2019-01-12 09:38:03 PM  

Seacop: Hit me up if need your boogar sugar.
/Coastie
//Not getting paid


I'll start the bidding at 5000 avocados per
Kilo.
 
2019-01-12 09:39:54 PM  
... or 2ml of printer ink per kilo. Your call.
 
2019-01-12 09:54:51 PM  

metamax: Seacop: Hit me up if need your boogar sugar.
/Coastie
//Not getting paid

I'll start the bidding at 5000 avocados per
Kilo.


But what about my kumquats?
 
2019-01-12 10:14:53 PM  
Why are the Coast Guard under DHS rather than being their own branch of the military like I thought they were? DNRTFA.
 
2019-01-12 10:16:33 PM  

imaconnect4guy: metamax: Seacop: Hit me up if need your boogar sugar.
/Coastie
//Not getting paid

I'll start the bidding at 5000 avocados per
Kilo.

But what about my kumquats?


all i have is starfruit.  not sure what that'll get me.
 
2019-01-12 10:42:08 PM  
What season of archer is that?
 
2019-01-12 11:01:07 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-12 11:04:57 PM  
Garage sales flopped?
 
2019-01-12 11:39:47 PM  
It's the Coast Guard, not the CIA...sheesh.
 
2019-01-13 12:02:43 AM  
Can I get a deal on like... an ounce?
 
2019-01-13 12:07:01 AM  
How long before some news rag tries running this as real? If the shut down last long enough I'm guessing early Feb.
 
2019-01-13 01:26:23 AM  

robxiii: Ok this part made me laugh  "Navy Federal Credit Union has announced a relief program offering a zero-interest loan to qualified affected members, while USAA has offered a free sponsored coffee mug to use while members panhandle outside of all Coast Guard bases. "

A LOT of people biatching about USAA at work, they will lose a ton of customers.  I almost went with USAA, but years ago tried to sign up for insurance but they said I owed them money for car insurance, from before I was old enough to drive.  Nothing in my credit report, so I didn't bother to have them fix it.


Could you provide the context? I've never heard anything but praise for USAA. So what did they do? I had a claim against one of their asshat auto policy holders, and they paid my rental bill while my car was being fixed without complaint, so they don't seem too bad to me.
 
2019-01-13 02:07:45 AM  

RedRudy: It's the Coast Guard, not the CIA...sheesh.


The Coast Guard stops and seizes a lot of drugs.  It's part of their job.

/family members of mine are Coasties
//this may soon not be much of a joke and more of a prediction
 
2019-01-13 02:14:39 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-13 06:12:21 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: robxiii: Ok this part made me laugh  "Navy Federal Credit Union has announced a relief program offering a zero-interest loan to qualified affected members, while USAA has offered a free sponsored coffee mug to use while members panhandle outside of all Coast Guard bases. "

A LOT of people biatching about USAA at work, they will lose a ton of customers.  I almost went with USAA, but years ago tried to sign up for insurance but they said I owed them money for car insurance, from before I was old enough to drive.  Nothing in my credit report, so I didn't bother to have them fix it.

Could you provide the context? I've never heard anything but praise for USAA. So what did they do? I had a claim against one of their asshat auto policy holders, and they paid my rental bill while my car was being fixed without complaint, so they don't seem too bad to me.


With this most recent shutdown, USAA is charging (for the first time ever) interest for paycheck bridge loans to Coast Guardsmen. They say it's only 0.1% interest, but that's only after a hard credit check is done on a member, and if they have an 800+ credit score.

Navy Federal Credit Union is still offering true zero interest "paycheck" loans to Coasties during the government shutdown, like USAA used to do.
 
2019-01-13 10:04:08 AM  

bdunseth: And some folks will sadly miss the satire and be outraged in 5-4-3-2-1


They already were, on Duffel Blog's twitter, when this came out, someone responded rather angrily thinking it was real.

Someone had to go tell them that Duffel Blog blog is a satire site.
 
2019-01-13 10:07:12 AM  
As for the USAA/NFCU thing, I've got accounts with both.

USAA is awesome for lots of things, but not for a few things.  NFCU is great for some things that USAA isn't.

Having accounts with both means you can do what's best based on the situation.

Example, mortgages.

NFCU has a policy that they service all their mortgages for the life of the loan.  If you take out your mortgage through NFCU, you pay NFCU and deal with NFCU for the life of the mortgage.  USAA doesn't do that.  That policy alone was why I got a NFCU account.

NFCU also has better rates and deals on credit cards.
 
2019-01-13 12:39:42 PM  

MrSteve007: itcamefromschenectady: robxiii: Ok this part made me laugh  "Navy Federal Credit Union has announced a relief program offering a zero-interest loan to qualified affected members, while USAA has offered a free sponsored coffee mug to use while members panhandle outside of all Coast Guard bases. "

A LOT of people biatching about USAA at work, they will lose a ton of customers.  I almost went with USAA, but years ago tried to sign up for insurance but they said I owed them money for car insurance, from before I was old enough to drive.  Nothing in my credit report, so I didn't bother to have them fix it.

Could you provide the context? I've never heard anything but praise for USAA. So what did they do? I had a claim against one of their asshat auto policy holders, and they paid my rental bill while my car was being fixed without complaint, so they don't seem too bad to me.

With this most recent shutdown, USAA is charging (for the first time ever) interest for paycheck bridge loans to Coast Guardsmen. They say it's only 0.1% interest, but that's only after a hard credit check is done on a member, and if they have an 800+ credit score.

Navy Federal Credit Union is still offering true zero interest "paycheck" loans to Coasties during the government shutdown, like USAA used to do.


Yep this, hence the article's dig at USAA.  Also, USAA gave my neighbor 1/3rd of what I got for basically the same home insurance claim (bunch of tiles blew off in our near hurricane).  Your mileage may vary :P
 
2019-01-13 02:11:36 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: Why are the Coast Guard under DHS rather than being their own branch of the military like I thought they were? DNRTFA.


The other 4 branches fall under the DOD.

We've been in the the Departments of Treasury, Transportation, and Homeland Security.

Reason being is the posse comatatus act which prevents DOD from acting in a law enforcement capacity against US citizens.
 
2019-01-13 07:51:45 PM  
Didn't notice the tag for some reason; totally believed this was real. The Aristocrats!
 
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