Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   The little town of Gordon, Wisconsin (pop. 645) is about to get a lot of visitors. Jayme Closs, abducted almost three months ago, has been found alive   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: News, Coroner, Liam Neeson, Barron County Sheriff's Department, Jayme's aunt Jennifer Smith, Constable, Police, WCCO-TV's Mary McGuire, Douglas County Sheriff  
•       •       •

6133 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2019 at 6:50 AM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



250 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2019-01-10 10:11:59 PM  
Reports indicate that they arrested a guy in his 20s who lives in the area where she was found.
 
2019-01-10 10:24:23 PM  
Best details so far:  https://kstp.com/news/jayme-closs-loc​a​ted-alive/5206010/?cat=1

Sounds like she escaped, ran up to a dog walker and asked for help.
 
2019-01-10 10:32:33 PM  
wow
 
2019-01-10 10:45:50 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2019-01-10 10:58:41 PM  
The only thing that could make this better is if Sylvia Browne made an incorrect guess about it.
 
2019-01-10 10:59:35 PM  

MattytheMouse: The only thing that could make this better is if Sylvia Browne made an incorrect guess about it.


Wait, Sylvia Browne is dead. . .

The only thing that could make this better is if another psychic contacted Sylvia Browne's ghost, and they made an incorrect guess about it.
 
2019-01-10 11:12:41 PM  
More involved? This is going to be super weird. Good that she got away.
 
2019-01-11 02:28:32 AM  
Great news to hear after dismal news all this time from Trump and his Looney Tunes Friends.
 
2019-01-11 02:29:18 AM  
Good name for a town.
 
2019-01-11 03:10:07 AM  

KarmicDisaster: More involved? This is going to be super weird. Good that she got away.


This. I forgot that she was the one missing after her parents were murdered.

I'm sure when the details come out, it's going to be a dark story.
 
2019-01-11 06:55:15 AM  
Jay me?
 
2019-01-11 06:56:14 AM  
I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?
 
2019-01-11 06:59:09 AM  

ubermensch: I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?


Why did she run up to a random person on the street yelling about her parents being murdered then?

Either that isn't true or she planned it out.

~~~

Glad she's been found alive. I hope one day she can live a kind of normal life.
 
2019-01-11 06:59:57 AM  

ubermensch: I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?


You've just seen the Big Lebowski too many times
 
2019-01-11 07:02:43 AM  
Whoa...  The sheriff's FB page's comments section is now a god-clotted nightmare.
 
2019-01-11 07:03:29 AM  

Cajnik: ubermensch: I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?

You've just seen the Big Lebowski too many times


Don't be fascious cajnik
 
2019-01-11 07:04:08 AM  

ubermensch: I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?


Wouldn't surprise me if she got in a relationship with an older man and just got in over her head when he turned out to be crazy. I think she's legitimately a victim in all of this.

Though I do think complicity is the narrative the media was implying early on, especially with showing that creepy ass picture of her on every news article.

It's all speculation at this point. I'm interested to hear the details as much as anybody and I'm sure we'll get details soon.
 
2019-01-11 07:04:30 AM  

ubermensch: I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?


No, several of us pictured a running off with older boyfriend/Natural Born Killers scenario. Given the seismic amount of weird in the news these days, nothing would surprise me.
 
2019-01-11 07:05:19 AM  

Vodka Zombie: Whoa...  The sheriff's FB page's comments section is now a god-clotted nightmare.


Christ man, just let people be happy an abducted girl was found alive three freaking months after some asshole murdered her parents and kidnapped her. Its a rare (hopefully) happy ending to a situation like this.
 
2019-01-11 07:07:04 AM  
Sherrifs facebook comments section leads me to believe there was some "Jesus" or "Lord" guy involved there.


I hope they nail the bastard.
 
2019-01-11 07:07:34 AM  
Who?
 
2019-01-11 07:07:51 AM  

Witchyman: Who?


Jesus
 
2019-01-11 07:08:56 AM  
That's good news I didn't expect. Thank God and/ or whoever or whatever else you want to thank.
 
2019-01-11 07:09:24 AM  

Chaide: It's all speculation at this point.


+1
 
2019-01-11 07:12:06 AM  
We need to find out exactly how many thoughts and prayers have been sent in the past three months. This will allow us to establish a baseline when determining the amount of t&p needed in future crises.
 
2019-01-11 07:13:30 AM  
This will be the story to drag eyes off the whole political mess.
 
2019-01-11 07:13:42 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: We need to find out exactly how many thoughts and prayers have been sent in the past three months. This will allow us to establish a baseline when determining the amount of t&p needed in future crises.


I think I'd be more curious who was thinking and praying about having her parents murdered and her be abducted.  find THOSE people.
 
2019-01-11 07:13:54 AM  
Fantastic news.  I figured she'd been kept down in the bottom of a dry well then turned into a dress.
 
2019-01-11 07:14:26 AM  

Vodka Zombie: Whoa...  The sheriff's FB page's comments section is now a god-clotted nightmare.


Dear Jesus thank you for bringing this little girl back to us alive although maybe next time could you have interceded earlier so that she didn't have to suffer what I assume are three months of emotional, physical, and or sexual abuse, or maybe even before she got kidnapped, or possibly even before her parents got murdered--in fact, you know what? Thanks for nothing, jackhole. You suck, Jesus.
 
2019-01-11 07:14:41 AM  
I'm glad she was found alive, because where there is life, there is hope. But I'm sure she's going to need years of therapy to help her cope with whatever horror she endured.

Hope the media stays away from the salacious details and if they catch the perp, I hope the trial is swift and low profile and justice is final. The last thing she needs now is to be re-traumatized by enquiring minds who want to know.
 
2019-01-11 07:14:48 AM  

rudemix: This will be the story to drag eyes off the whole political mess.


Not if the perp is brown and/or born outside the lower 48.
 
2019-01-11 07:15:15 AM  

Warthog: Fantastic news.  I figured she'd been kept down in the bottom of a dry well then turned into a dress.


Perhaps it refused to rub the lotion on its skin?
 
2019-01-11 07:16:25 AM  

vudukungfu: Sherrifs facebook comments section leads me to believe there was some "Jesus" or "Lord" guy involved there.


I hope they nail the bastard.


Rural WI is Bible Belt level of Jesus loving.

/lives in the sinner hive of villainy that is Madison, WI
 
2019-01-11 07:17:24 AM  

tukatz: Best details so far:  https://kstp.com/news/jayme-closs-loca​ted-alive/5206010/?cat=1

Sounds like she escaped, ran up to a dog walker and asked for help.


Thanks for the link that led me to the Barron County Sheriff's Department's Facebook
page. However, if you click on the "see more" tab, you'll unfortunately get exposed to the comments section.
/an' now cince i red it i am now not feling as srmat any no more now.
//"Prays God"
///FFS
 
2019-01-11 07:17:36 AM  

Warthog: Fantastic news.  I figured she'd been kept down in the bottom of a dry well then turned into a dress.


Yeah this.  The day after she went missing I said they'd never find her alive.

/glad I was wrong
 
2019-01-11 07:19:02 AM  

TheFoz: Rural WI is Bible Belt level of Jesus loving.


It's "above the pine curtain" as we used to say. Marked on maps as "HERE THER BE HILBILLIES."
 
2019-01-11 07:19:24 AM  

TheFoz: vudukungfu: Sherrifs facebook comments section leads me to believe there was some "Jesus" or "Lord" guy involved there.


I hope they nail the bastard.

Rural WI is Bible Belt level of Jesus loving.

/lives in the sinner hive of villainy that is Madison, WI


Ahh, Madtown.
/lives in the blood red enclave of Waukesha.
 
2019-01-11 07:24:34 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Vodka Zombie: Whoa...  The sheriff's FB page's comments section is now a god-clotted nightmare.

Dear Jesus thank you for bringing this little girl back to us alive although maybe next time could you have interceded earlier so that she didn't have to suffer what I assume are three months of emotional, physical, and or sexual abuse, or maybe even before she got kidnapped, or possibly even before her parents got murdered--in fact, you know what? Thanks for nothing, jackhole. You suck, Jesus.


How offensively closed-minded.  Can't you appreciate that Jesus was testing her, and giving her the strength that comes from watching your parents get murdered and spending three months as some mouth breather's Real Doll?   She will now go on to do great things.   We should thank the Lord for having wisdom we can't understand.
 
2019-01-11 07:24:42 AM  

AirForceVet: Great news to hear after dismal news all this time from Trump and his Looney Tunes Friends.


Drink!
 
2019-01-11 07:24:57 AM  

Warthog: rudemix: This will be the story to drag eyes off the whole political mess.

Not if the perp is brown and/or born outside the lower 48.


Ahhhh crap! Hadn't thought of that.
 
2019-01-11 07:26:26 AM  
Town's closed. The trooper out front will roadblock ya.
 
2019-01-11 07:27:37 AM  

ubermensch: I really hope she wasn't complicit in this. Was her kidnapper her "boyfriend"? Am I too jaded?


I admit that was my first thought about this case as well. Maybe I watch too much Snapped, but there have been a few too many cases where mommy and daddy were standing in the way of young love and had to go. I hope that's not the case here, and she is the victim of a crazy person.
 
2019-01-11 07:31:10 AM  
That sound you hearing is the shiatbag MSM frothing at the mouth fighting over who gets the exclusive rights to plop a 13 year old who was abducted in front of TV cameras and grill her about her experience being held capative.
 
2019-01-11 07:35:16 AM  
Who?

/Also who knew that a news article could be composed almost entirely of proper nouns?
 
2019-01-11 07:38:53 AM  

styckx: That sound you hearing is the shiatbag MSM frothing at the mouth fighting over who gets the exclusive rights to plop a 13 year old who was abducted in front of TV cameras and grill her about her experience being held capative.


You forgot the most important part:  She's white!
 
2019-01-11 07:39:56 AM  

styckx: a 13 year old who was abducted in front of TV cameras


You'd think that would have made solving the case pretty straightforward.
 
2019-01-11 07:40:57 AM  

styckx: That sound you hearing is the shiatbag MSM frothing at the mouth fighting over who gets the exclusive rights to plop a 13 year old who was abducted in front of TV cameras and grill her about her experience being held capative.


Is that what that is?  I thought I heard Nancy Grace's queef-of-excitement over an exclusive (and not getting verbally biatch-slapped like Elizabeth Smart did to her).
 
2019-01-11 07:44:16 AM  

Vodka Zombie: Whoa...  The sheriff's FB page's comments section is now a god-clotted nightmare.


I'm amazed people still use it. Then again, Wisconsin.
 
2019-01-11 07:44:16 AM  

Kalashinator: styckx: That sound you hearing is the shiatbag MSM frothing at the mouth fighting over who gets the exclusive rights to plop a 13 year old who was abducted in front of TV cameras and grill her about her experience being held capative.

Is that what that is?  I thought I heard Nancy Grace's queef-of-excitement over an exclusive (and not getting verbally biatch-slapped like Elizabeth Smart did to her).


Ok if I ever get a band, that's it's name.

/lol
 
2019-01-11 07:44:46 AM  

Warthog: rudemix: This will be the story to drag eyes off the whole political mess.

Not if the perp is brown and/or born outside the lower 48.


So you're saying the follow-up stories will need an Alaska tag?

/Dammit Alaska
//Obviously no one from Hawaii would choose to live in rural Wisconsin unless they're in witness protection.
///So maybe it was some Hawaii gangster rat.
 
Displayed 50 of 250 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report