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(USA Today)   You can't spell "Cowboys" without 00   (usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Fail, American football, Cowboys team, red-zone struggles, linebackercorps, Sean Lee, Amari Cooper, quarterback Dak Prescott, right guard Zack Martin  
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1190 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Dec 2018 at 7:36 AM (25 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-12-16 10:42:35 PM  
Double goose eggs for Coach Jones.
 
2018-12-17 07:43:12 AM  
The other team may have had some influence on the outcome here.
 
2018-12-17 07:44:06 AM  
Patriots lost, Cowboys got completely embarrassed, great weekend.
 
2018-12-17 07:51:17 AM  
At least they weren't the only NFC East team that was "on fire" to get shut out in the early games.
 
2018-12-17 07:53:34 AM  

Chris Ween: The other team may have had some influence on the outcome here.


The Cowboys are worth $5 billion, the Colts $2.38. It's easier to get more clicks if you troll the target with the most eyes.
 
2018-12-17 08:09:07 AM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: Chris Ween: The other team may have had some influence on the outcome here.

The Cowboys are worth $5 billion, the Colts $2.38. It's easier to get more clicks if you troll the target with the most eyes.


Anyone got change for a fiver? I'm gonna buy the Colts and a pepsi.
 
2018-12-17 08:41:48 AM  
C0wb0ys?

What, are we doing leet speak now in the sports tab?
 
2018-12-17 08:45:22 AM  

Chris Ween: The other team may have had some influence on the outcome here.


True but getting shutout in football is pretty damn impressive.
 
2018-12-17 08:46:17 AM  
*billion. I mean, in the Luck-less days they were worth about that.
 
2018-12-17 08:52:38 AM  

Flappyhead: Chris Ween: The other team may have had some influence on the outcome here.

True but getting shutout in football is pretty damn impressive.


It's definitely one of the more embarrassing scores. Even if you get walloped 50-3, at least you weren't shutout! The Cowboys had their FG attempt blocked on their initial drive, too.
 
2018-12-17 08:54:50 AM  

Flappyhead: Chris Ween: The other team may have had some influence on the outcome here.

True but getting shutout in football is pretty damn impressive.


Particularly a first place team getting blanked.
 
2018-12-17 08:55:04 AM  
Well that hype train came to a sudden stop...

cc: Rams
 
2018-12-17 09:12:19 AM  

puffy999: Well that hype train came to a sudden stop...

cc: Rams


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-12-17 09:12:28 AM  
pics.ballmemes.comView Full Size
 
2018-12-17 09:20:50 AM  
My terrible Washington tem outscored the Cowboys & Giants COMBINED this weekend.

/The less said about Phialdelphia, the better...
 
2018-12-17 09:22:00 AM  
reverse c00wgirl.
 
2018-12-17 09:44:09 AM  

puffy999: Well that hype train came to a sudden stop...

cc: Rams


cc: Chiefs
 
2018-12-17 09:44:49 AM  
👀
 
2018-12-17 09:52:35 AM  
Like I said when the Cowboys beat the Saints ... Now we're stuck with 8-8 Garrett.

The Cowboys definitely outplayed the Saints, but they were also assisted by some very questionable calls, and got away with manhandling their receivers.  They also benefitted the following week from questionable calls against the Eagles. Bottom line for me is, as long as Dak Prescott is making the Kool-Aid, I'm not drinking it.
 
2018-12-17 09:58:46 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-12-17 10:05:52 AM  
I bet Philly sports talk radio is going to be insufferable (well, more than usual) with all the "TRADE WENTZ!" calls after this weekend.

It will be interesting to see what happens if the Eagles do make the playoffs and then make a deep run.
 
2018-12-17 10:14:48 AM  

Slow To Return: Like I said when the Cowboys beat the Saints ...


Uggh
 
2018-12-17 10:16:22 AM  
Cowboys, Redskins and Eagles will all end up 8-8 and the league will pass a special rule granting them all byes in the playoffs until the 2019 regular season.
 
2018-12-17 10:25:03 AM  

mikaloyd: Slow To Return: Like I said when the Cowboys beat the Saints ...

Uggh


Saints are right back in the driver's seat.   Meanwhile, I think Sean Payton lost to the Saints on purpose to stick it to us with Garrett.  That's the kind of "statement" victory that's going to blind Jerry Jones into giving Garrett a long-term extension.

Uggh indeed.

(Can you tell I hate Jason Garrett??)
 
2018-12-17 10:26:38 AM  

Slow To Return: mikaloyd: Slow To Return: Like I said when the Cowboys beat the Saints ...

Uggh

Saints are right back in the driver's seat.   Meanwhile, I think Sean Payton lost to the Saints

Cowboys on purpose to stick it to us with Garrett.  That's the kind of "statement" victory that's going to blind Jerry Jones into giving Garrett a long-term extension.

Uggh indeed.

(Can you tell I hate Jason Garrett??)


Umm.... FTFM!
 
2018-12-17 10:35:25 AM  
Looking at the Cowboy record over the last 20 years, it's almost as if Jerry Jones sucks football management.
 
2018-12-17 10:56:28 AM  

Cache: Looking at the Cowboy record over the last 20 years, it's almost as if Jerry Jones sucks football management.


He's not the only NFC East owner with that flaw.
 
2018-12-17 11:01:09 AM  
No one wants to play the Colts.
 
2018-12-17 11:09:03 AM  

meera's frog spear: No one wants to play the Colts.


What's funny is, 24 hours ago, that's what people were saying about Dallas.

...or is that the joke?

The team I wouldn't want to play right now is Chicago.
 
2018-12-17 11:09:22 AM  
I would hate to have been a mirror in Michael Irvin's possession last night.
 
2018-12-17 11:22:27 AM  
Are the Cowboys highly profitable?

Yes, yes they are, so that is what matters to ownership.
 
2018-12-17 11:26:54 AM  

jake_lex: I bet Philly sports talk radio is going to be insufferable (well, more than usual) with all the "TRADE WENTZ!" calls after this weekend.

It will be interesting to see what happens if the Eagles do make the playoffs and then make a deep run.


People's memory will be really short on how terrible Foles looked earlier this year. Trading Wentz would be hilariously short-sighted.
 
2018-12-17 11:28:06 AM  
Actually, there are no numbers in our name. They are all letters. Nice try, subby.
 
2018-12-17 11:32:54 AM  

Di Atribe: Actually, there are no numbers in our name. They are all letters. Nice try, subby.


"You can't spell Cowboys with oh oh!"
It's a Christmas miracle!
 
2018-12-17 11:35:10 AM  

Social Justice Warlock: Di Atribe: Actually, there are no numbers in our name. They are all letters. Nice try, subby.

"You can't spell Cowboys with oh oh!"
It's a Christmas miracle!


You're lucky you're cute.
 
2018-12-17 11:39:04 AM  

meera's frog spear: No one wants to play the Colts.


Saints do. In the Super Bowl
 
2018-12-17 11:43:16 AM  

Di Atribe: Actually, there are no numbers in our name. They are all letters. Nice try, subby.


They are right below the name

fanatics.frgimages.comView Full Size
 
2018-12-17 11:47:56 AM  

asmodeus224: Are the Cowboys highly profitable?

Yes, yes they are, so that is what matters to ownership.


Do the Cowboys make more money when they lose?
I guess they probably do since they have made more money since they last won a Superbowl than in all the years before that combined
 
2018-12-17 11:49:32 AM  

mikaloyd: asmodeus224: Are the Cowboys highly profitable?

Yes, yes they are, so that is what matters to ownership.

Do the Cowboys make more money when they lose?
I guess they probably do since they have made more money since they last won a Superbowl than in all the years before that combined


It's cheaper to make the appearance that you're trying to win it all than it is to actually try. That's how sports team owners milk suckers every year.
 
2018-12-17 11:58:44 AM  

jake_lex: "TRADE WENTZ!"


Wentz body is too fragile for football. Weak bones and tendons are common in gingers.
 
2018-12-17 12:12:48 PM  

meera's frog spear: jake_lex: "TRADE WENTZ!"

Wentz body is too fragile for football. Weak bones and tendons are common in gingers.


Not like Tim Brody. He's pliable. No tendons, no tendons. YOU'RE THE TENDONS
 
2018-12-17 12:31:30 PM  

EyeballKid: It's cheaper to make the appearance that you're trying to win it all than it is to actually try. That's how sports team owners milk suckers every year.


If you honestly believe that any team in this league is only appearing to try to get into the playoffs & the Super Bowl & win the Super Bowl, you are an idiot. Just straight up, dumb as a box of rocks. Any team who has playoff success will be more profitable than a team that scrapes the bottom, or even floats around mediocre every year. You can charge more for tickets, use it in all of your ads, command more prime time presence on TV. The Cowboys are currently the most valuable sports franchise in the world. Do you think Jerry is satisfied with that? That he'd just quit trying to make more money? If that's what he wanted to achieve, he would've died already. Of course he wants to win another Super Bowl. He wants it more than ANYTHING in this world. It's probably why he's harvested all of those placentas so he can drink those stem cell smoothies every morning.* Anyone who honestly believes a professional player, team, coaching staff, or front office just "doesn't want it"..... is blinded by their own biases. They all want it. Equally. No one is saying Jerry is particularly GOOD at putting together a championship-caliber team. He has a penchant for going after the shiniest object he can (no shade, I'm the same way, but I don't run a football team, except maybe my 4 fantasy teams, do you want to hear about them ohmygod a squirrel). But to just say he's fine with being mediocre? Nah, bro. That is no one's fetish.

*This is not how stem cells work, I made that up, but I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL

/di
//atribe
///biatcheeeeesssss
 
2018-12-17 12:36:19 PM  
Also, I am fairly high on cold medicine right now, so I hope that my prior post was mostly made of complete sentences. It took me five minutes to write this.
 
2018-12-17 12:36:20 PM  

EyeballKid: I would hate to have been a mirror in Michael Irvin's possession last night.


Why? Who doesn't want free coke?
 
2018-12-17 12:44:41 PM  

Di Atribe: EyeballKid: It's cheaper to make the appearance that you're trying to win it all than it is to actually try. That's how sports team owners milk suckers every year.

If you honestly believe that any team in this league is only appearing to try to get into the playoffs & the Super Bowl & win the Super Bowl, you are an idiot. Just straight up, dumb as a box of rocks. Any team who has playoff success will be more profitable than a team that scrapes the bottom, or even floats around mediocre every year. You can charge more for tickets, use it in all of your ads, command more prime time presence on TV. The Cowboys are currently the most valuable sports franchise in the world. Do you think Jerry is satisfied with that? That he'd just quit trying to make more money? If that's what he wanted to achieve, he would've died already. Of course he wants to win another Super Bowl. He wants it more than ANYTHING in this world. It's probably why he's harvested all of those placentas so he can drink those stem cell smoothies every morning.* Anyone who honestly believes a professional player, team, coaching staff, or front office just "doesn't want it"..... is blinded by their own biases. They all want it. Equally. No one is saying Jerry is particularly GOOD at putting together a championship-caliber team. He has a penchant for going after the shiniest object he can (no shade, I'm the same way, but I don't run a football team, except maybe my 4 fantasy teams, do you want to hear about them ohmygod a squirrel). But to just say he's fine with being mediocre? Nah, bro. That is no one's fetish.

*This is not how stem cells work, I made that up, but I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL

/di
//atribe
///biatcheeeeesssss


Looks like somebody trying to justify purchasing season tickets.
 
2018-12-17 12:47:14 PM  

Slow To Return: Like I said when the Cowboys beat the Saints ... Now we're stuck with 8-8 Garrett.

The Cowboys definitely outplayed the Saints, but they were also assisted by some very questionable calls, and got away with manhandling their receivers.  They also benefitted the following week from questionable calls against the Eagles. Bottom line for me is, as long as Dak Prescott is making the Kool-Aid, I'm not drinking it.


One word - Jubhawk!
 
2018-12-17 12:48:34 PM  
Actually Subby, it's spelled "Daas."

Philly took the two Ls.;
 
2018-12-17 12:52:18 PM  

EyeballKid: Looks like somebody trying to justify purchasing season tickets.


That's hysterical. Like I have $2000 to spend on sports. I certainly wish. However, to my surprise, they are not the most expensive in the league:

1 Pittsburgh Steelers $5,600
2 Denver Broncos $5,500
3 Chicago Bears $3,950
4 Carolina Panthers $3,225
5 Seattle Seahawks $2,822
6 New York Giants $2,000
7Dallas Cowboys$1,999
8 Detroit Lions $1,925
9 Houston Texans $1,900
10 Philadelphia Eagles $1,900

Now those are the AVERAGE prices. According to the article I nabbed that from, the top price for one season ticket is $140k.
 
2018-12-17 12:58:33 PM  

Di Atribe: EyeballKid: It's cheaper to make the appearance that you're trying to win it all than it is to actually try. That's how sports team owners milk suckers every year.

If you honestly believe that any team in this league is only appearing to try to get into the playoffs & the Super Bowl & win the Super Bowl, you are an idiot. Just straight up, dumb as a box of rocks. Any team who has playoff success will be more profitable than a team that scrapes the bottom, or even floats around mediocre every year. You can charge more for tickets, use it in all of your ads, command more prime time presence on TV. The Cowboys are currently the most valuable sports franchise in the world. Do you think Jerry is satisfied with that? That he'd just quit trying to make more money? If that's what he wanted to achieve, he would've died already. Of course he wants to win another Super Bowl. He wants it more than ANYTHING in this world. It's probably why he's harvested all of those placentas so he can drink those stem cell smoothies every morning.* Anyone who honestly believes a professional player, team, coaching staff, or front office just "doesn't want it"..... is blinded by their own biases. They all want it. Equally. No one is saying Jerry is particularly GOOD at putting together a championship-caliber team. He has a penchant for going after the shiniest object he can (no shade, I'm the same way, but I don't run a football team, except maybe my 4 fantasy teams, do you want to hear about them ohmygod a squirrel). But to just say he's fine with being mediocre? Nah, bro. That is no one's fetish.

*This is not how stem cells work, I made that up, but I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL

/di
//atribe
///biatcheeeeesssss


To sum up: Jerry wants him some of that glory hole
 
2018-12-17 12:58:45 PM  

Di Atribe: EyeballKid: Looks like somebody trying to justify purchasing season tickets.

That's hysterical. Like I have $2000 to spend on sports. I certainly wish. However, to my surprise, they are not the most expensive in the league:

1 Pittsburgh Steelers $5,600
2 Denver Broncos $5,500
3 Chicago Bears $3,950
4 Carolina Panthers $3,225
5 Seattle Seahawks $2,822
6 New York Giants $2,000
7Dallas Cowboys$1,999
8 Detroit Lions $1,925
9 Houston Texans $1,900
10 Philadelphia Eagles $1,900

Now those are the AVERAGE prices. According to the article I nabbed that from, the top price for one season ticket is $140k.


I'm amazed my terrible owner doesn't have the team in that top 10.
 
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