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    More: Amusing, Copy link, Tweet, Like, Twitter, The Conversation, reply, Nicole Cliffe Verified, Verified account  
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520 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 09 Nov 2018 at 1:20 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-11-09 12:47:45 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2018-11-09 01:23:10 PM  
No pop quizzes in bed.
 
2018-11-09 01:32:52 PM  
Reminds me of this nugget I keep in my profile:


Subby wants to text dirty to his wife...but has no idea how to do so, and usually fails hard at "bedroom talk". Can anyone help?

ahab Start off all innocent. It should go something like this:

You: Geez, did you see the weather report?
Her: No, is it going to get colder?
You: Not so cold that you can't GET ON YOUR F*CKING KNEES AND SUCK MY DICK YOU STUPID WHORE.
Her: o.O
You: Can you pick up some milk on the way home?
 
2018-11-09 01:36:27 PM  
One time, when my wife and I were dating, after f*cking, we were enjoying the afterglow and I turned and asked her "you don't happen to have a Torx head screwdriver, do you?"
 
2018-11-09 01:38:26 PM  

Earguy: Reminds me of this nugget I keep in my profile:


Subby wants to text dirty to his wife...but has no idea how to do so, and usually fails hard at "bedroom talk". Can anyone help?

ahab Start off all innocent. It should go something like this:

You: Geez, did you see the weather report?
Her: No, is it going to get colder?
You: Not so cold that you can't GET ON YOUR F*CKING KNEES AND SUCK MY DICK YOU STUPID WHORE.
Her: o.O
You: Can you pick up some milk on the way home?


Missing:  Putting on robe and wizard hat.
 
2018-11-09 01:54:02 PM  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2018-11-09 02:05:32 PM  
There was a great scene in Louis CK's show, he was having sex with a woman who was into calling him daddy... At first he was bewildered but rolled with it, but then she started sobbing, "I sorry daddy!" and Louis just kind of snuck out of the room.
 
2018-11-09 02:07:12 PM  
"I noticed a lot of white discharge when I was down there." -- every man subbies mom has been with
 
2018-11-09 02:15:21 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-11-09 02:38:52 PM  
Her: Talk dirty to me.
Me: Uhm, how dirty exactly?  Are you sure about this?  You got your feelings hurt last week, when I left the dishwashing soap on the sink after I did the dishes.  You said I wasn't being respectful to you?  Maybe you should have brought this idea up 30 minutes ago, because I was in the finishing zone and wasn't really planning on an improv routine.  You know what, let's just go watch a movie.

/Yes, I am single.  But you already knew that.
 
2018-11-09 02:47:42 PM  
The panties your mother laid out?
 
2018-11-09 02:57:57 PM  

Shostie: One time, when my wife and I were dating, after f*cking, we were enjoying the afterglow and I turned and asked her "you don't happen to have a Torx head screwdriver, do you?"


Did she know what that was? Because that's a keeper right there.
 
2018-11-09 03:05:07 PM  
While snuggling......
Her, lustfully: My goodness you smell good, what are you wearing?
Me: Speed Stick, by Mennen.
Her: o_O
 
2018-11-09 03:10:47 PM  

Ambivalence: Shostie: One time, when my wife and I were dating, after f*cking, we were enjoying the afterglow and I turned and asked her "you don't happen to have a Torx head screwdriver, do you?"

Did she know what that was? Because that's a keeper right there.


She did.

And she did have one.

Going in 15 years.
 
2018-11-09 03:16:01 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-11-09 05:32:57 PM  
My wife was a stay-at-home mom with a two-year-old and a newborn. I came home at 2 a.m. from my second job. We decided to show each other some personal attention beginning with an position best expressed by a two digit number. We both fell asleep in that position.
 
2018-11-09 11:18:05 PM  
Mid-moment my partner started talking about her boss and some project. I felt pretty wanted right then.
 
2018-11-09 11:23:36 PM  
Related

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-11-09 11:24:53 PM  

edmo: Mid-moment my partner started talking about her boss and some project. I felt pretty wanted right then.


Not sure if that's better or worse than venting about the kids.
 
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