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(BBC-US)   U.S. Navy: "These accidental ship collisions are seriously embarrassing." Norwegian Navy: "Hold my aquavit and watch this"   ( bbc.com) divider line
    More: News, Petroleum, Maltese oil tanker, Helge Ingstad frigate, oil terminal, major tanker port, major oil terminal, Sture oil terminal, export oil terminal  
•       •       •

9518 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2018 at 4:20 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

4 days ago  
129 votes:
It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.
4 days ago  
34 votes:
Eight people were lightly injured in the collision in the Hjeltefjord near Bergen. The KNM Helge Ingstad frigate has been listing dangerously.

img.fark.netView Full Size
4 days ago  
26 votes:
See, this is what happens when the internet mercilessly makes fun of vital knowledge.

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4 days ago  
21 votes:
Apparently this wasn't the first collision for the tanker.

pleated-jeans.comView Full Size
4 days ago  
21 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


You earned this.  CLICK IT!

Lurch
Youtube xCc-RWIp7XU
4 days ago  
20 votes:
Not the first time a Fjord has crashed into a frigate.

mosesinsurance.comView Full Size
4 days ago  
17 votes:

BigNumber12: Updated

Yikes.

[img.fark.net image 850x476]

[img.fark.net image 850x635]


That boom is doing a great job
4 days ago  
15 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.

BOO! BOO THIS MAN!
4 days ago  
13 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


img.fark.netView Full Size
4 days ago  
13 votes:
Where will you be when the lutefisk hits your colon?
4 days ago  
11 votes:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Nice. It's pictures like these that make me wish I was a woman and could fully appreciate this man's physique, but a lass, I am not.
4 days ago  
11 votes:
Frigate?

I can barely find it!
4 days ago  
11 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.

ldssmile.comView Full Size
4 days ago  
9 votes:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Holy cats.

Ummm...I'll be in my stateroom.

right click, save image as....
right click, save image as....
right click, save image as....
right click, save image as....
4 days ago  
9 votes:
Well what did they expect to happen, hanging around oil terminals at all hours, dressed in low-observable clothing like that?

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4 days ago  
8 votes:

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: The lack of longships in this thread makes me very disappoint.


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4 days ago  
8 votes:

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: The lack of longships in this thread makes me very disappoint.


I don't know about that.  From some of the posts about the Norwegian sailor, I think several gay male farkers have some longships right about now.
4 days ago  
8 votes:

BigNumber12: Updated

Yikes.

[img.fark.net image 850x476]

[img.fark.net image 850x635]


One does not accidentally the whole hull.

I wonder if this was yet another game of military vs civilian nautical chicken.

Warship: "Get out of my way, I'm a big powerful military ship"
Guy in bar with handheld radio: "I'm a lighthouse, your call"
Tanker: "I am the stand on vessel in this scenario.  You should consider giving way"
warship: "Did I mention I'm also very self aggrandized?"
Tanker: "You're going to look real silly with this hull sticking out of your ass"

>>BOOOOM<<
4 days ago  
8 votes:
Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size


Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here
4 days ago  
8 votes:
https://www.aftenposten.no/norge/i/yv​2​kBa/Tankskip-og-fregatt-kolliderte-ved​-Oygarden--krigsskipet-mistet-styringe​n?fbclid=IwAR0-ouBwFfxzlpwiDm7_QZJAorL​TpVUR-YHBfswKSqsaOjKhdrCmy4F6qVw

Time lapse of some tugs trying to keep it beached safely.  At about 40 seconds, the frigate starts to go, and the tugs all NOPE the hell up away from it.

I shouldn't laugh, but it was hysterical.
4 days ago  
8 votes:
"Norway has evacuated all 137 crew from one of its warships after it collided in a fjord with a Maltese oil tanker."
I knew the F-150s could carry a lot of stuff, but a warship?!

/and did the accident reveal that the other crew was smuggling a falcon?
4 days ago  
7 votes:

phishrace: Not the first time a Fjord has crashed into a frigate.

[mosesinsurance.com image 600x400]


When was the last time?  I frigate.
4 days ago  
7 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


'Cause of the Danes.
3 days ago  
5 votes:

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: MBooda: It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak

Does anyone under 60 drink it?  I've always heard it was just a granny drink.


Ahem.
4 days ago  
5 votes:

151: ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here

I'm an incredibly heterosexual male, but...damn.


You don't need a full patch to ride with us.
4 days ago  
5 votes:
The tanker, the Sola TS, was slightly damaged and it appears that it did not spill oil.

y.yarn.coView Full Size
4 days ago  
5 votes:
cdn.shopify.comView Full Size
4 days ago  
5 votes:
Breaking news:  The Warship Helge Ingstad to be rechristened as The Submarine Helge Ingstad
4 days ago  
5 votes:
They probably crashed because the two Norwegian captains couldn't understand their warnings, hollering at each other in Norwegian. I mean, have you ever tried to learn Norwegian?  It's hard.
4 days ago  
4 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


They *had* a warship from the looks of this.
4 days ago  
3 votes:
The lack of longships in this thread makes me very disappoint.
4 days ago  
3 votes:
I used to have a GF who really liked it when I crashed my frigate into her tanker.
4 days ago  
3 votes:
♫ Have you driven a Fjooord... lately! ♫
3 days ago  
2 votes:

Pershing123: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

'Cause of the Danes.


The united kingdom of Denmark-Norway actyally shares a joint status of having the most wars against the nation, namely Sweden. 30+ wars or something stupid, since we really achieved much other than just killing in each other.

The biggest Danish warhero is actually from what is now the Norwegian navy, we refer to him as Thundershield.


But yeah, Denmark, Norway and Sweden has a huge tradition for building ships, we still do.

I know you were being sarcastic, but for someone who can't figure out maps. The kingdom of Denmark, for instance, has several islands east of Sweden, that no-one but Denmark is allowed to patrol, according to a treaty with the Soviet Union following WW2. And then we have to patrol the sea-ways, and uhm well, we currently a bit of spat with Canada about Hans Island west of Greenland, and Canada is a bit pissed about the Danish navy being able to operate 365 days a year, because of ice hardened hulls.

So Denmark and Canada takes turns in re-capturing that island, leaving letters and booze. (Denmark leaves aquavit, Canada leaves whiskey).


Anyways, lets make fun of Sweden instead;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasa_(s​h​ip)

They managed to build the largest warship in 1629 (you know who they'd plan to use it against), and all the royalty etc. was present at its launch. Named after a Swedish king, it sunk on the spot, because of a mild gust of wind.

It took them 300 years to get up, so you can actually see it.

Took a few hundred years more, before Denmark/Norway and Sweden just decided that we were just being morons, and it was better to settle our issues through football. Its cheaper, fewer people gets killed and we have fewer embarassing epic fails.
3 days ago  
2 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


img.fark.netView Full Size
3 days ago  
2 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Not yet?

img.fark.netView Full Size
4 days ago  
2 votes:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Holy mother of Thor!
I'll be in my bunk.
4 days ago  
2 votes:

DrWhy: ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here

Nice. It's pictures like these that make me wish I was a woman and could fully appreciate this man's physique, but a lass, I am not.


media.giphy.comView Full Size
4 days ago  
2 votes:

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: The lack of longships in this thread makes me very disappoint.


Don't be a dinghy!
4 days ago  
2 votes:
So apparently they just abandoned ship instead of trying to save it like USN sailors do?

0_o

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
4 days ago  
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

What an Akavit accident might look like..
4 days ago  
2 votes:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Thank you!

/very much
4 days ago  
2 votes:
It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak
2 days ago  
1 vote:

Real Women Drink Akvavit: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: MBooda: It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak

Does anyone under 60 drink it?  I've always heard it was just a granny drink.

Ahem.


img.fark.netView Full Size
3 days ago  
1 vote:

151: ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here

I'm an incredibly heterosexual male, but...damn.


As Ron White so artfully pointed out.....

We're all a LITTLE gay.
3 days ago  
1 vote:

Odin's Other Eye: wickedragon: Norwegian sources now say that the tanker contacted the frigate and told them they were on a collision course, and the frigate said they had the situation under control.

Wow, that's extra stupid.


I had a hunch that's how it all...

(sunglasses)

...went down.
3 days ago  
1 vote:

DrWhy: Gig103: Q. Why do the Norwegian Navy paint barcodes on all the ships?
A. So that when they return to port, they can Scandanavian

/rimshot
//try the veal

///Try reading the thread first


Gig103: Oh. I didn't read the thread, I was beat to the pun by quite a margin.


Eeeeveryone should calm down, and read the  thread first.
And then take inventory of all giant ships in near vicinity and try not to crash into them.

Norwegian sources now say that the tanker contacted the frigate and told them they were on a collision course, and the frigate said they had the situation under control. The tanker then concluded that this was BS and contacted the Norwegian Coastal Marine Safety Department and told them about the imminent collision, and those giys called the frigate.

Doesn't sound like the officers on the frigate had the situation under control.
3 days ago  
1 vote:
Oh. I didn't read the thread, I was beat to the pun by quite a margin.
3 days ago  
1 vote:
I haven't seen this in any of the boat traders. Is this a new listing?
4 days ago  
1 vote:

MrBonestripper: https://www.aftenposten.no/norge/i/yv​2​kBa/Tankskip-og-fregatt-kolliderte-ved​-Oygarden--krigsskipet-mistet-styringe​n?fbclid=IwAR0-ouBwFfxzlpwiDm7_QZJAorL​TpVUR-YHBfswKSqsaOjKhdrCmy4F6qVw

Time lapse of some tugs trying to keep it beached safely.  At about 40 seconds, the frigate starts to go, and the tugs all NOPE the hell up away from it.

I shouldn't laugh, but it was hysterical.


For some reason, the sight of the little navigation radar antenna at the top of mast spinning madly while the ship is laying on its side makes me chuckle sensibly.
4 days ago  
1 vote:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


He is a very striking man.  I now feel quite inadequate.
151
4 days ago  
1 vote:

studebaker hoch: 151: ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here

I'm an incredibly heterosexual male, but...damn.

You don't need a full patch to ride with us.


Do I at least get a colorful prospect patch? Cuz if so, count me in!
4 days ago  
1 vote:

Gleeman: So apparently they just abandoned ship instead of trying to save it like USN sailors do?

0_o

[img.fark.net image 760x508]

[img.fark.net image 220x165]

[img.fark.net image 300x206]

[img.fark.net image 275x183]


Difference in philosophy between a power projection Navy and coastal / area denial.  They were close to home port, lots of resources available, and the ship wasn't sinking.  Remember where you parked it, make sure the pumps are working, hand the keys to the salvage and repair crew while you start working on your LinkedIn profile, because your Navy career is wrapping up!
4 days ago  
1 vote:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Let's see.

One word. It starts with the letter "R" and ends with the letter "ussia."
4 days ago  
1 vote:
The tanker, the Sola TS, was slightly damaged and it appears that it did not spill oil.

Sounds like they need to start building warships like tankers.
4 days ago  
1 vote:

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: MBooda: It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak

Does anyone under 60 drink it?  I've always heard it was just a granny drink.


I have only consumed it in large quantities with Swedish Americans in their 40's.Who were not grandparents.
It's an aquired taste.
4 days ago  
1 vote:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Because of the dangerous land møøse.  A møøse bit my sister once.
4 days ago  
1 vote:
Littering annnnd.....

/snozzberries
4 days ago  
1 vote:
Norway has a warship?

Why?
 
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