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(BBC-US)   U.S. Navy: "These accidental ship collisions are seriously embarrassing." Norwegian Navy: "Hold my aquavit and watch this"   ( bbc.com) divider line
    More: News, Petroleum, Maltese oil tanker, Helge Ingstad frigate, oil terminal, major tanker port, major oil terminal, Sture oil terminal, export oil terminal  
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9563 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2018 at 4:20 PM (10 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-11-08 03:44:05 PM  
30 votes:
See, this is what happens when the internet mercilessly makes fun of vital knowledge.

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 04:48:50 PM  
28 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Norway has a farking long coastline.
Norway relies on the ocean for much of its economy - fishing and oil.
Norway is a traditional maritime power.
Norway is a member of NATO.
Norway has a border with farking Russia.
Norway has bad memories of the Nazi occupation in WWII.

Enough answers for you?
2018-11-08 04:30:37 PM  
24 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


They have a lot of coastline and share a lot of water with Russia?

Why wouldn't they?
2018-11-08 04:40:32 PM  
19 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Seriously?

They are heavily invested in oil and off shore drilling and have to share the North, Barents, and the Norwegian Sea with Russia.

Why wouldn't you have a Navy?!
2018-11-08 04:57:35 PM  
15 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Are you seriously this clueless?!? Have you never heard of vikings?!? They've had warships for thousands of years. It's also commonly understood scandinavians landed on North america easily 500 years before europeans.

/Christ, try reading a book
//But if trolling: I give it an 8/10 and a golf clap
2018-11-08 06:25:42 PM  
12 votes:

studebaker hoch: BigNumber12:
There were 4 warships maneuvering together, two of which were low-observable, it was 4am, and they were returning home from a major, multi-national fleet exercise. Probably a fairly unremarkable combination of poor visibility, crew fatigue, and crew overconfidence as part of a pack.

Interesting.

I'm really surprised at the level of damage.  Aren't warships supposed to be armored at least to some degree?  That hull looks like it was built to civilian cruise ship standards.


When you have this

img.fark.netView Full Size


...with a couple hundred thousand tons of oil and steel behind it, steel armor is going to tear like cardboard.

Not to mention, we aren't sailing Iowas anymore, modern ships rely on speed, stealth, and active defenses to avoid getting hit by incoming fire in the first place.
2018-11-08 04:51:06 PM  
12 votes:
Updated

Yikes.

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 04:26:21 PM  
12 votes:
It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.
2018-11-08 05:16:33 PM  
8 votes:

Lumber Jack Off: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

Seriously?

They are heavily invested in oil and off shore drilling and have to share the North, Barents, and the Norwegian Sea with Russia.

Why wouldn't you have a Navy?!


To a lot of people, if they haven't heard of that country fighting an all-out war in their lifetime, then that country needs no military.

The Scandinavian countries have a clear need for naval and air forces, and have generally been exceptionally effective warriors. Hell, Finland fought the Germans AND the Soviets in WWII.
151
2018-11-08 07:24:06 PM  
6 votes:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


I'm an incredibly heterosexual male, but...damn.
2018-11-08 05:45:09 PM  
6 votes:
Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size


Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here
2018-11-08 04:35:36 PM  
6 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.

BOO! BOO THIS MAN!
2018-11-08 06:12:04 PM  
5 votes:
BigNumber12:
There were 4 warships maneuvering together, two of which were low-observable, it was 4am, and they were returning home from a major, multi-national fleet exercise. Probably a fairly unremarkable combination of poor visibility, crew fatigue, and crew overconfidence as part of a pack.

Interesting.

I'm really surprised at the level of damage.  Aren't warships supposed to be armored at least to some degree?  That hull looks like it was built to civilian cruise ship standards.
2018-11-08 05:38:39 PM  
5 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


God.... damn, that's a good pun.
2018-11-08 04:29:28 PM  
5 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


You earned this.  CLICK IT!

Lurch
Youtube xCc-RWIp7XU
2018-11-09 03:38:56 AM  
4 votes:

Gig103: Q. Why do the Norwegian Navy paint barcodes on all the ships?
A. So that when they return to port, they can Scandanavian

/rimshot
//try the veal


///Try reading the thread first
2018-11-09 04:07:14 AM  
3 votes:

rebelyell2006: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

5 frigates, 6 subs, 14 patrol boats, and I think 10 mine warfare ships.  To deny the Soviets any possibility of amphibious assaults. The Norwegians actually did not do too bad against the Germans in 1940 from a naval perspective, but they fared poorly once the Germans got a beachhead.


The patrol boats are seriously cool.

naval-technology.comView Full Size


They can do over 60 knots. Close up, they seriously look like spaceships.
2018-11-08 08:05:18 PM  
3 votes:

Gleeman: So apparently they just abandoned ship instead of trying to save it like USN sailors do?

0_o

[img.fark.net image 760x508]

[img.fark.net image 220x165]

[img.fark.net image 300x206]

[img.fark.net image 275x183]


Difference in philosophy between a power projection Navy and coastal / area denial.  They were close to home port, lots of resources available, and the ship wasn't sinking.  Remember where you parked it, make sure the pumps are working, hand the keys to the salvage and repair crew while you start working on your LinkedIn profile, because your Navy career is wrapping up!
2018-11-08 06:28:34 PM  
3 votes:

studebaker hoch: BigNumber12:
There were 4 warships maneuvering together, two of which were low-observable, it was 4am, and they were returning home from a major, multi-national fleet exercise. Probably a fairly unremarkable combination of poor visibility, crew fatigue, and crew overconfidence as part of a pack.

Interesting.

I'm really surprised at the level of damage.  Aren't warships supposed to be armored at least to some degree?  That hull looks like it was built to civilian cruise ship standards.


From my limited civilian understanding, armor on ships is kind of obsolete, given modern anti-ship missiles. Most smaller surface combatants don't bother with it, since speed, stealth, ECM, and active missile defense are more effective in combat.

Granted, armor would be more effective than those things against wayward oil tankers, but I don't think RAMMING SPEED is part of many military-grade hull designs.
2018-11-08 06:21:42 PM  
3 votes:

studebaker hoch: BigNumber12:
There were 4 warships maneuvering together, two of which were low-observable, it was 4am, and they were returning home from a major, multi-national fleet exercise. Probably a fairly unremarkable combination of poor visibility, crew fatigue, and crew overconfidence as part of a pack.

Interesting.

I'm really surprised at the level of damage.  Aren't warships supposed to be armored at least to some degree?  That hull looks like it was built to civilian cruise ship standards.


You build armor that can hold up to hundreds or thousands of tons of momentum focused at a narrow point.
2018-11-08 05:28:07 PM  
3 votes:

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: MBooda: It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak

Does anyone under 60 drink it?  I've always heard it was just a granny drink.


I have only consumed it in large quantities with Swedish Americans in their 40's.Who were not grandparents.
It's an aquired taste.
2018-11-09 08:43:58 AM  
2 votes:

Pershing123: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

'Cause of the Danes.


The united kingdom of Denmark-Norway actyally shares a joint status of having the most wars against the nation, namely Sweden. 30+ wars or something stupid, since we really achieved much other than just killing in each other.

The biggest Danish warhero is actually from what is now the Norwegian navy, we refer to him as Thundershield.


But yeah, Denmark, Norway and Sweden has a huge tradition for building ships, we still do.

I know you were being sarcastic, but for someone who can't figure out maps. The kingdom of Denmark, for instance, has several islands east of Sweden, that no-one but Denmark is allowed to patrol, according to a treaty with the Soviet Union following WW2. And then we have to patrol the sea-ways, and uhm well, we currently a bit of spat with Canada about Hans Island west of Greenland, and Canada is a bit pissed about the Danish navy being able to operate 365 days a year, because of ice hardened hulls.

So Denmark and Canada takes turns in re-capturing that island, leaving letters and booze. (Denmark leaves aquavit, Canada leaves whiskey).


Anyways, lets make fun of Sweden instead;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasa_(s​h​ip)

They managed to build the largest warship in 1629 (you know who they'd plan to use it against), and all the royalty etc. was present at its launch. Named after a Swedish king, it sunk on the spot, because of a mild gust of wind.

It took them 300 years to get up, so you can actually see it.

Took a few hundred years more, before Denmark/Norway and Sweden just decided that we were just being morons, and it was better to settle our issues through football. Its cheaper, fewer people gets killed and we have fewer embarassing epic fails.
2018-11-08 10:59:33 PM  
2 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


5 frigates, 6 subs, 14 patrol boats, and I think 10 mine warfare ships.  To deny the Soviets any possibility of amphibious assaults. The Norwegians actually did not do too bad against the Germans in 1940 from a naval perspective, but they fared poorly once the Germans got a beachhead.
2018-11-08 10:21:29 PM  
2 votes:

studebaker hoch: Aren't warships supposed to be armored at least to some degree?


Sure, but the warship in this case displaces like 5000 tons and the deadweight tonnage (which isn't the same thing but was the closest comparable metric I could find for the tanker) is about 113,000 tons.

So the the cargo/supplies alone could be over 20x the mass of the warship.  

The last velocity I saw for the tanker was 9 knots or about 4.63 m/s

I don't know if that's short tons or long or whatever but napkin math using US tons that's 102511876kg

.5*102511876 * 4.63^2 = 1098768417.3122, which is about a quarter ton of TNT equivalent  focused to the relatively "small" bow area if it was t-boned.

Definitely not something you're just going to shrug off unless your armor is enchanted to at least +5.
2018-11-08 07:31:11 PM  
2 votes:

FrancoFile: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

Norway has a farking long coastline.
Norway relies on the ocean for much of its economy - fishing and oil.
Norway is a traditional maritime power.
Norway is a member of NATO.
Norway has a border with farking Russia.
Norway has bad memories of the Nazi occupation in WWII.

Enough answers for you?


And Norway almost went to war with England in the 70s over oil rights in the North Sea. Those warships do work.
2018-11-08 06:01:41 PM  
2 votes:
cdn.shopify.comView Full Size
2018-11-08 05:58:21 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size

That is some Francesco Shettino worthy breakage right there.
2018-11-08 05:57:54 PM  
2 votes:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Thank you!

/very much
2018-11-08 05:55:40 PM  
2 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Lolwat.jpg
2018-11-08 05:29:35 PM  
2 votes:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


They *had* a warship from the looks of this.
2018-11-08 05:19:53 PM  
2 votes:
https://www.aftenposten.no/norge/i/yv​2​kBa/Tankskip-og-fregatt-kolliderte-ved​-Oygarden--krigsskipet-mistet-styringe​n?fbclid=IwAR0-ouBwFfxzlpwiDm7_QZJAorL​TpVUR-YHBfswKSqsaOjKhdrCmy4F6qVw

Time lapse of some tugs trying to keep it beached safely.  At about 40 seconds, the frigate starts to go, and the tugs all NOPE the hell up away from it.

I shouldn't laugh, but it was hysterical.
2018-11-08 05:13:33 PM  
2 votes:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 05:11:03 PM  
2 votes:
It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak
2018-11-08 04:41:23 PM  
2 votes:

swahnhennessy: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

They have a lot of coastline and share a lot of water with Russia?

Why wouldn't they?


Looks like some kind of stealth radar evading spy boat.
Yes? Anyone?
2018-11-09 06:57:01 PM  
1 vote:

151: ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here

I'm an incredibly heterosexual male, but...damn.


As Ron White so artfully pointed out.....

We're all a LITTLE gay.
2018-11-09 05:31:03 AM  
1 vote:

wickedragon: Norwegian sources now say that the tanker contacted the frigate and told them they were on a collision course, and the frigate said they had the situation under control.


Wow, that's extra stupid.
2018-11-09 04:04:12 AM  
1 vote:
It's like 1/10 of the Norwegian Navy. 

Riddle me this - why do these stealth warships insist on traveling with their AIS transponders turned off if they are not actively chasing Russkies? How the hell is the tanker supposed to know that there's a giant ship that's invisible to radar heading its way? I mean, lookouts, yes, but this is the middle of the night. If they had had their AIS transponder turned on this never would have happened.
2018-11-08 11:09:19 PM  
1 vote:

Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?


Not yet?

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 09:23:12 PM  
1 vote:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


He is a very striking man.  I now feel quite inadequate.
2018-11-08 08:30:46 PM  
1 vote:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Holy mother of Thor!
I'll be in my bunk.
2018-11-08 07:59:04 PM  
1 vote:

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: The lack of longships in this thread makes me very disappoint.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 07:53:48 PM  
1 vote:

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: The lack of longships in this thread makes me very disappoint.


I don't know about that.  From some of the posts about the Norwegian sailor, I think several gay male farkers have some longships right about now.
2018-11-08 07:27:08 PM  
1 vote:

ng2810: Norwegian Navy you say?

As long as Lasse Lokken is OK, that's all that matters:

[img.fark.net image 588x595]
[img.fark.net image 494x569]

Sadly can't post my favorite pictures of him, as I am at work....

/Oogle here


Nice. It's pictures like these that make me wish I was a woman and could fully appreciate this man's physique, but a lass, I am not.
2018-11-08 07:23:11 PM  
1 vote:
So apparently they just abandoned ship instead of trying to save it like USN sailors do?

0_o

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 06:57:05 PM  
1 vote:

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: MBooda: It might be aquavit elsewhere but it's akevitt in Norway, subby.

/not as good as vodak

Does anyone under 60 drink it?  I've always heard it was just a granny drink.


Gå av gressplenen min.
2018-11-08 06:06:40 PM  
1 vote:

studebaker hoch: BigNumber12: Updated

Yikes.

[img.fark.net image 850x476]

[img.fark.net image 850x635]

One does not accidentally the whole hull.

I wonder if this was yet another game of military vs civilian nautical chicken.

Warship: "Get out of my way, I'm a big powerful military ship"
Guy in bar with handheld radio: "I'm a lighthouse, your call"
Tanker: "I am the stand on vessel in this scenario.  You should consider giving way"
warship: "Did I mention I'm also very self aggrandized?"
Tanker: "You're going to look real silly with this hull sticking out of your ass"

>>BOOOOM<<


There were 4 warships maneuvering together, two of which were low-observable, it was 4am, and they were returning home from a major, multi-national fleet exercise. Probably a fairly unremarkable combination of poor visibility, crew fatigue, and crew overconfidence as part of a pack.
2018-11-08 05:20:25 PM  
1 vote:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.


Beautiful.
2018-11-08 04:49:34 PM  
1 vote:

Pinner: swahnhennessy: Rene ala Carte: Norway has a warship?

Why?

They have a lot of coastline and share a lot of water with Russia?

Why wouldn't they?

Looks like some kind of stealth radar evading spy boat.
Yes? Anyone?


Frigates with a lot of stealth characteristics are fairly commonplace nowadays.
2018-11-08 04:36:05 PM  
1 vote:

KangTheMad: It's a little known fact, but Norway does not put names on their ships. While they do use a standardized number scheme (similar to how the USN does DDG 664, for example) those number are instead accompanied by a barcode. This is so when their ships get into port, Norway can Scandinavian.

ldssmile.comView Full Size
2018-11-08 04:23:52 PM  
1 vote:
Norway has a warship?

Why?
2018-11-08 04:22:50 PM  
1 vote:
Eight people were lightly injured in the collision in the Hjeltefjord near Bergen. The KNM Helge Ingstad frigate has been listing dangerously.

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-11-08 04:22:36 PM  
1 vote:
Where will you be when the lutefisk hits your colon?
 
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