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(NBC News)   Mayor solicits sex from constituent in exchange for speed bumps   ( nbcnews.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Pleading, speed bumps, Cause of action, Criminal law, Palm Beach County, Florida, Sexual intercourse, Human sexual behavior, NBC News  
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4875 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2018 at 12:50 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-10-31 11:26:20 AM  
Humps for Bumps?
 
2018-10-31 11:27:14 AM  
This is one time I would have been okay with the phrase "speed humps."
 
2018-10-31 12:02:03 PM  
The roads would be ribbed for her pleasure.
 
2018-10-31 12:36:14 PM  
l.wigflip.com
 
2018-10-31 12:37:03 PM  
Annnnd the ten seconds it took me to generate that street sign left me stranded on Obvious Joke Boulevard.

Story of my life.
 
2018-10-31 12:51:18 PM  

brap: Annnnd the ten seconds it took me to generate that street sign left me stranded on Obvious Joke Boulevard.

Story of my life.


You just ran into a speed bump, that's all. Happens to all of us.
 
2018-10-31 12:54:40 PM  
Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.
 
2018-10-31 12:54:46 PM  
My bumps.  My bumps.  My lovely speed bumps.
 
2018-10-31 12:55:14 PM  
Do I need to look up "speed bumps" on urban dictionary?  Or will I just be disgusted?
 
2018-10-31 12:55:43 PM  

offacue: The roads would be ribbed for her pleasure.


brap: [l.wigflip.com image 530x56]


Great, now I want BBQ...
 
2018-10-31 12:55:46 PM  

cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.


Uhm? Have more sex in your car perhaps? I dunno...or install them in your bedroom?

YMMV.
 
2018-10-31 12:55:56 PM  
Humpgate!
 
2018-10-31 12:56:49 PM  

cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.


The answer, as always, is butt stuff.
 
2018-10-31 12:56:58 PM  
Who do you have to have sex with to get rid of speedbumps?
 
2018-10-31 12:58:11 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 12:59:06 PM  
Aim higher if you're going to risk your job/reputation man. Better yet just go to an escort.
 
2018-10-31 12:59:09 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.

Uhm? Have more sex in your car perhaps? I dunno...or install them in your bedroom?

YMMV.


If a man can make me do this....

media.giphy.comView Full Size


...he's a keeper.
 
2018-10-31 12:59:15 PM  
carolyndaughters.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:00:12 PM  
Let's get these out of the way...
quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:00:37 PM  
Said mayor?

lantana.orgView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:00:56 PM  

cowgirl toffee: If a man can make me do this....


I can swim the Long Island sound to meet you in Bridgeport if you want.

Once you look at my face, you'll be jumping to get away from me.

Does that work for you?

if you do wind up keeping me, can I share a room with a hedgehog?

they're cute.
 
2018-10-31 01:01:28 PM  

PreMortem: Humps for Bumps?


What do you have to do to get your potholes filled?
 
2018-10-31 01:01:35 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


That's a hard 25.
 
2018-10-31 01:01:40 PM  
Looking at his picture... That man *IS* a speed-bump. A nice and big one. Just lay him down across the street, and problem solved.
 
2018-10-31 01:01:48 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:02:22 PM  
Speedbump/Mudflap 2020: Let's lube up D.C.
 
2018-10-31 01:02:30 PM  
*reads headline*

...Wut?

*glances to left of headline, sees tag*

Oh.
 
2018-10-31 01:02:30 PM  

brap: Annnnd the ten seconds it took me to generate that street sign left me stranded on Obvious Joke Boulevard.

Story of my life.


That's what she said.
 
2018-10-31 01:02:40 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: If a man can make me do this....

I can swim the Long Island sound to meet you in Bridgeport if you want.

Once you look at my face, you'll be jumping to get away from me.

Does that work for you?

if you do wind up keeping me, can I share a room with a hedgehog?

they're cute.


I've been working on German porn/sex slave basement.
 
2018-10-31 01:03:09 PM  

FrancoFile: Do I need to look up "speed bumps" on urban dictionary?  Or will I just be disgusted?


Isn't that always the case?
 
2018-10-31 01:03:24 PM  
The once was a lass from Lantana
She wanted things slow like Havana
She wanted the bumps
He wanted the humps
The mayor offered his banana
 
2018-10-31 01:04:12 PM  

cowgirl toffee: steklo: cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.

Uhm? Have more sex in your car perhaps? I dunno...or install them in your bedroom?

YMMV.

If a man can make me do this....

[media.giphy.com image 360x270]

...he's a keeper.


quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:04:16 PM  

cowgirl toffee: I've been working on German porn/sex slave basement.


Oh, das ist toll. Ich habe nach einem neuen Keller gesucht, in den ich einziehen konnte.
 
2018-10-31 01:04:46 PM  

Eli WhiskeyDik: [img.fark.net image 400x400]


Damn it! Was to late because I got interrupted by work!
 
2018-10-31 01:05:53 PM  
"She declined and said he later called her to say she could still have sex with him in order to receive the speed bumps in her community, according to the Post. She again declined. "

Okay, so she didn't want the speed bumps.
 
2018-10-31 01:07:05 PM  

cowgirl toffee: I've been working on German porn/sex slave basement.


I've been working in a German porn/sex slave basement

/ male poosexual prostitute here
 
2018-10-31 01:07:42 PM  
"Speed bumps".  I guess that's like speed dating, only with tissues afterward.
 
2018-10-31 01:07:44 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: I've been working on German porn/sex slave basement.

Oh, das ist toll. Ich habe nach einem neuen Keller gesucht, in den ich einziehen konnte.


Yes... it is a nice basement.  With a REAL dirt floor!  :D
 
2018-10-31 01:08:10 PM  
 
2018-10-31 01:08:50 PM  

guestguy: cowgirl toffee: steklo: cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.

Uhm? Have more sex in your car perhaps? I dunno...or install them in your bedroom?

YMMV.

If a man can make me do this....

[media.giphy.com image 360x270]

...he's a keeper.

[quickmeme.com image 312x248]


Can you share the basement?  And maybe take care of the goats?  :)
 
2018-10-31 01:10:22 PM  
meaning HPV?
 
2018-10-31 01:10:38 PM  

cowgirl toffee: Yes... it is a nice basement. With a REAL dirt floor! :D


I'll bring the lederhosen.
 
2018-10-31 01:12:09 PM  

cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.


Careful, last time I said that a Genie gave me Genital Warts.
 
2018-10-31 01:12:18 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: Yes... it is a nice basement. With a REAL dirt floor! :D

I'll bring the lederhosen.


Never mind... gimp suits provided.
 
2018-10-31 01:12:21 PM  

offacue: The roads would be ribbed for her pleasure.


brap: [l.wigflip.com image 530x56]


Great minds and all that.
 
2018-10-31 01:12:24 PM  

cowgirl toffee: guestguy: cowgirl toffee: steklo: cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.

Uhm? Have more sex in your car perhaps? I dunno...or install them in your bedroom?

YMMV.

If a man can make me do this....

[media.giphy.com image 360x270]

...he's a keeper.

[quickmeme.com image 312x248]

Can you share the basement?  And maybe take care of the goats?  :)


Seems like a fair trade.

Lemme just warm up so I don't pull something while trying to get you some air time...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:13:06 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-31 01:15:26 PM  

guestguy: cowgirl toffee: guestguy: cowgirl toffee: steklo: cowgirl toffee: Wish I could get some speed bumps in my sex life.

Uhm? Have more sex in your car perhaps? I dunno...or install them in your bedroom?

YMMV.

If a man can make me do this....

[media.giphy.com image 360x270]

...he's a keeper.

[quickmeme.com image 312x248]

Can you share the basement?  And maybe take care of the goats?  :)

Seems like a fair trade.

Lemme just warm up so I don't pull something while trying to get you some air time...

[img.fark.net image 376x248]


Hey!  That might build up your buns!  :D
 
2018-10-31 01:15:35 PM  
" Stewart took her to a motel one day after lunch and told her he wanted to have sex with her there, "

What ruse did he use to get her there?  " I have a meeting with Tom Bodett, I need you to take dicktation."
 
2018-10-31 01:17:21 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: I've been working on German porn/sex slave basement.

Oh, das ist toll. Ich habe nach einem neuen Keller gesucht, in den ich einziehen konnte.


How much sheisse porn have you watched  to become that fluent?
 
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