Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Sun Sentinel)   Florida Man and Florida Woman discover gay man wearing a Speedo visiting a small uninhabited island. Click for an all-new adventure   ( sun-sentinel.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Key West, Florida Keys, Sheriff's Office, Key West, Florida, Stephanie Lynn Burnham, small uninhabited island, federally owned island, Christmas Tree Island  
•       •       •

5794 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2018 at 1:42 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-10-29 05:05:29 PM  
I'm guessing Mr. and Mrs. Nutbag had a cache of drugs on the island they were afraid these guys would find. Why else carry on like that?
 
2018-10-29 05:29:41 PM  
"Is speedo guys had protection on the island, the results would have been far better" - D2S
 
2018-10-29 06:30:02 PM  
I think "roofer" is commonly understood to be synonymous with "tweaker in many areas.
 
2018-10-29 08:19:40 PM  

dailygrinds: I think "roofer" is commonly understood to be synonymous with "tweaker in many areas.


Just here to click smart on that
 
2018-10-29 08:54:26 PM  

redoctober65: "Is speedo guys had protection on the island, the results would have been far better" - D2S


The spedo guys' protection:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-29 08:58:03 PM  
Florida Man and the Hard 35. A Quinn-Martin Production.
 
2018-10-29 09:12:04 PM  
Those guys look weird. What does the couple look like?
 
2018-10-29 09:44:09 PM  

Biscuit Tin: I'm guessing Mr. and Mrs. Nutbag had a cache of drugs on the island they were afraid these guys would find. Why else carry on like that?


Maybe they're just assholes? They seem to be coming out of the woodwork lately.
 
2018-10-29 09:57:39 PM  
The two men from West Hollywood, California, were visiting Wisteria Island - once known as Christmas Tree Island

Another casualty of the War on Christmas?
 
2018-10-29 10:49:35 PM  
The boat rental company told deputies the damage to the dinghy is estimated at between $2000 and $5000.

Break Out Another Thousand indeed.
 
2018-10-29 11:23:31 PM  
"The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.
 
2018-10-30 01:48:13 AM  

Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.


Yeah, tell me about it.
The highs and lows of entrepreneurship.
:|
 
2018-10-30 01:50:45 AM  
beta.thelevel.myView Full Size
 
2018-10-30 01:51:35 AM  

Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.


Imaging losing just $800 because someone thought you were gay and had a knife.
 
2018-10-30 01:54:25 AM  
Well it *was* uninhabited until those guys came. Well, I guess prior to that, when they arrived.
 
2018-10-30 01:54:56 AM  
So who was the Professor and who was Marianne? I think it's safe to assume that the offending two were the Skipper and Gilligan.
 
2018-10-30 01:57:35 AM  
It seems only one of the pair was reported to be wearing Speedos. One might assume the other wore something. Something else. Mankini ? Burquini? Anyone?
 
2018-10-30 01:59:19 AM  

Alcaste: Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.

Imaging losing just $800 because someone thought you were gay and had a knife.


Gay people with knives is a pretty horrible combination. Their limp-wristed cutting action really dulls the blade.
 
2018-10-30 02:02:49 AM  
"the man's partner pushed the dinghy between the two"

Kinky.
 
2018-10-30 02:04:59 AM  

Weatherkiss: Alcaste: Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.

Imaging losing just $800 because someone thought you were gay and had a knife.

Gay people with knives is a pretty horrible combination. Their limp-wristed cutting action really dulls the blade.


pedantry is actually a sign that your reading comprehension isn't keeping up
 
2018-10-30 02:09:02 AM  

ganif: It seems only one of the pair was reported to be wearing Speedos. One might assume the other wore something. Something else. Mankini ? Burquini? Anyone?


The brand name is just Speedo, without the S at the end. I'm guessing it's also still trademarked, since the article specifies a "Speedo-type bathing suit."
 
2018-10-30 02:14:37 AM  
Florida Man vs. The Meat Spin Maniac.  Coming soon to a porn dungeon near you.
 
2018-10-30 02:15:21 AM  
Those two meth heads are going to be really upset when they discover the rest of Key West.
 
2018-10-30 02:19:34 AM  
trailer park pirates
 
2018-10-30 02:22:05 AM  
your new america, ladies and gentlemen. enjoy your freedom.

/thanks trump
 
2018-10-30 02:22:38 AM  

Alcaste: Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.

Imaging losing just $800 because someone thought you were gay and had a knife.


And think about the boat owner! That dinghy's the wounded heroine of this story and the owner is out $2000-5000! Which puts this is into felony property damage territory.

Which is nifty in case Florida Prosecutor, Florida Judge, or Florida Jury fark up the attempted murder charges.

As someone who enjoys shirtless use of inflatable watercraft this story is farking terrifying.

As an aside, when typing this post I specifically thought about the Casey Anthony trial as a Florida farkup case. And I realized something.

We don't have sensationalized Nancy Grace-murders anymore. We just don't have room in the news cycle.
 
2018-10-30 02:26:10 AM  

Sean VasDeferens: Those two meth heads are going to be really upset when they discover the rest of Key West.


At least you know prison won't be a big shock for him.

fark, he probably does well in there.
 
2018-10-30 02:31:05 AM  

Biscuit Tin: I'm guessing Mr. and Mrs. Nutbag had a cache of drugs on the island they were afraid these guys would find. Why else carry on like that?


Methinks you're giving them far too much credit and by "far too much" I mean "any" - any credit whatsoever.
 
2018-10-30 02:31:20 AM  

cyberspacedout: ganif: It seems only one of the pair was reported to be wearing Speedos. One might assume the other wore something. Something else. Mankini ? Burquini? Anyone?

The brand name is just Speedo, without the S at the end. I'm guessing it's also still trademarked, since the article specifies a "Speedo-type bathing suit."


Which means you need to not capitalize it.  So it should be speedos, not Speedos.  Don't use Speedo unless it's an actual Speedo brand swimsuit.  The generic is speedo or speedos.
 
2018-10-30 02:33:25 AM  
Mr. Speedo
i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-30 02:38:15 AM  

cyberspacedout: ganif: It seems only one of the pair was reported to be wearing Speedos. One might assume the other wore something. Something else. Mankini ? Burquini? Anyone?

The brand name is just Speedo, without the S at the end. I'm guessing it's also still trademarked, since the article specifies a "Speedo-type bathing suit."


But when someone is wearing Speedos, you say that person is wearing Speedos, not that they are wearing Speedo. It's not like when someone is wearing Armani at the Oscars.
 
2018-10-30 02:39:38 AM  

cyberspacedout: ganif: It seems only one of the pair was reported to be wearing Speedos. One might assume the other wore something. Something else. Mankini ? Burquini? Anyone?

The brand name is just Speedo, without the S at the end. I'm guessing it's also still trademarked, since the article specifies a "Speedo-type bathing suit."


Thank you. I stand corrected.
Actually, they're mostly referred to as budgie smugglers around here but I didn't want to make things any more complex than they already are.
 
2018-10-30 02:40:51 AM  

Christian Bale: cyberspacedout: ganif: It seems only one of the pair was reported to be wearing Speedos. One might assume the other wore something. Something else. Mankini ? Burquini? Anyone?

The brand name is just Speedo, without the S at the end. I'm guessing it's also still trademarked, since the article specifies a "Speedo-type bathing suit."

But when someone is wearing Speedos, you say that person is wearing Speedos, not that they are wearing Speedo. It's not like when someone is wearing Armani at the Oscars.


Did anyone else read that in Patrick Bateman's voice before checking the username?
 
2018-10-30 02:41:45 AM  
That's a rough 35. Wait, which loser is the wife?
 
2018-10-30 02:53:13 AM  
Eight hundred dollar sunglasses? I hope that means prescription lenses and the fanciest frames in the shop.
 
2018-10-30 02:59:45 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Eight hundred dollar sunglasses? I hope that means prescription lenses and the fanciest frames in the shop.


Lower end Dolce and Gabbana or Cartier, and higher end Ray Bans can easily go for $800.
A GIS of $800 sunglasses will turn up some ugly ass shades.
 
2018-10-30 03:15:32 AM  
What's up with the emulation of the look of Michael Rooker's GOTG character?
 
2018-10-30 03:23:02 AM  

Weatherkiss: Alcaste: Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.

Imaging losing just $800 because someone thought you were gay and had a knife.

Gay people with knives is a pretty horrible combination. Their limp-wristed cutting action really dulls the blade.


I know you guys might be kidding, but gay dudes here spend a lot on shiat(maybe more than a typical woman) and can handle a knife quite well. Some dudes tried to strongarm a iPhone from a gay dude on our Red Line in Chicago years back. One attacker ended up dead and the other 2 in the hospital. The two hospitalized attackers ended up in prison as someone's biatches.

/My father and uncles use to tell  us the time not to fark with gays, because they will cut your arse
 
2018-10-30 03:23:29 AM  
Ughhh... they were decent visitors. They anchored offshore, and used an inflatable to reach the island. That's the sort of behavior to praise, not to attack for being apparently gay. It's Key West, a historically gay place.

I'm with a previous post, they must have been monitoring the island for drugs.
 
2018-10-30 03:40:18 AM  
The article didn't clarify, if it's a federally owned island, are the charges state or federal?
 
2018-10-30 03:41:34 AM  

Cagey B: Florida Man and the Hard 35. A Quinn-Martin Production.


Came for hard 35 and satisfied.  She looks at least mid to upper 40s.
 
2018-10-30 03:54:45 AM  
What does being gay have anything at all to do with this?
 
2018-10-30 04:18:09 AM  
Guy on the left dressing up as a jack o'lantern for Halloween?  He's got the hairstyle and skin tone for it.
 
2018-10-30 05:27:36 AM  
...but his $800 sunglasses were ruined.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-30 06:12:31 AM  

Kouta: redoctober65: "Is speedo guys had protection on the island, the results would have been far better" - D2S

The spedo guys' protection:

[img.fark.net image 425x318]


Single shot? Pffffft.
 
2018-10-30 06:39:51 AM  

donnielove: The article didn't clarify, if it's a federally owned island, are the charges state or federal?


Key West inhabitant here.  Great question, and the short answer is that's an unsettled issue.  Wisteria is technically a federal property-it was created by the Navy as a result of dredging operations over a century ago.  However, someone in Key West "sold" it decades ago and the family of that purchaser occasionally tries (and subsequently fails) to enforce that shady contract of sale.

Wisteria is populated by tribes of homeless groups who often fight over turf and possessions.  One of these recent turf battles resulted in a fire that burned for a few days, and the city, Monroe county, and the Navy all ignored it, as taking action would result in admitting responsibility for it.
 
2018-10-30 06:40:03 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Weatherkiss: Alcaste: Erma Gerdd: "The man wasn't seriously hurt but his $800 sunglasses were ruined."

Man, I really miss not having that disposable income.

Imaging losing just $800 because someone thought you were gay and had a knife.

Gay people with knives is a pretty horrible combination. Their limp-wristed cutting action really dulls the blade.

I know you guys might be kidding, but gay dudes here spend a lot on shiat(maybe more than a typical woman) and can handle a knife quite well. Some dudes tried to strongarm a iPhone from a gay dude on our Red Line in Chicago years back. One attacker ended up dead and the other 2 in the hospital. The two hospitalized attackers ended up in prison as someone's biatches.

/My father and uncles use to tell  us the time not to fark with gays, because they will cut your arse


Depends if it's consensual, gay people might not mind farking or getting farked by you.
 
2018-10-30 06:42:47 AM  

That Guy...From That Show!: What does being gay have anything at all to do with this?


Because it could be considered a hate crime if they were attacked for being gay.
 
2018-10-30 06:46:32 AM  
White trash people, Florida is full of them. Leave our Mexicans here, they bother no one. Deport all these white trash people back to Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama and where ever in the hell they come from
 
2018-10-30 07:27:02 AM  
"Get the (expletive) off our island," is just Floridian for "please step away from our meth lab'"
 
Displayed 50 of 72 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report