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(The Onion)   Strange, nightmarish incident results in man waking up as giant Kafka   ( theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire, man Allen McIntire, Short story, Franz Kafka, Satire, Writing, Fiction, guttural Czech patois, short story writer  
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2934 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Oct 2018 at 11:20 AM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-10-12 10:39:24 AM  
Well look at The Onion going all high-brow today.
 
2018-10-12 11:11:08 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 11:23:51 AM  
Kinda sad, the Onion is scraping the bottom of the barrel.
 
2018-10-12 11:24:56 AM  
How is this different from the time an insect woke up as a giant Ted Cruz?
 
2018-10-12 11:26:50 AM  
i read that as kefka.
 
2018-10-12 11:27:32 AM  
"I wanted to be BIG!!!"
media.gettyimages.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 11:31:37 AM  

BooksontheBrain: How is this different from the time an insect woke up as a giant Ted Cruz?


One of my favorite Onion articles was the one where Ted Cruz is being groomed for a debate by his unholy horde of insect minions.
 
2018-10-12 11:31:49 AM  

khitsicker: i read that as kefka.


I had nothing to do with this man's nightmare situation.
 
2018-10-12 11:32:15 AM  

MBooda: Kinda sad, the Onion is scraping the bottom of the barrel.


It's hard to write funny  & believable satire in the Age of Orange.
 
2018-10-12 11:41:01 AM  
I read that as kafta.
Lunch time!
 
2018-10-12 11:41:03 AM  
The Onion has fallen on hard times
 
2018-10-12 11:44:42 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 11:45:06 AM  
Did he recently hook up with a deep-voiced lady?

mantiseye.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 11:45:27 AM  
78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 11:45:48 AM  

MBooda: Kinda sad, the Onion is scraping the bottom of the barrel.


What's left to parody? In today's world - what IS parody?
 
2018-10-12 11:50:32 AM  
Tough times for the onion, with days like yesterday (and the day before...)
 
2018-10-12 11:51:42 AM  

jso2897: MBooda: Kinda sad, the Onion is scraping the bottom of the barrel.

What's left to parody? In today's world - what IS parody?


"You see, the love of parody is very different from that of other comedic expressions."
 
2018-10-12 11:53:12 AM  
I've been checking out the Onion for a long time, fairly consistently.  I once sent a link to a friend, who had never heard of the Onion before.  He immediately began sending me multiple Onion links every single day.

Really?  Stop!  I read the site myself, please stop!  Yeah, that's hilarious, I'm the one who showed you the site, remember?!  I will cut out your heart and feed it to you if you send me another Onion link!

The joy of the Onion is that it has just enough content that some odd little remark will be the one that makes you laugh, but not necessarily make someone else laugh.
 
2018-10-12 11:53:44 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Seen fleeing the scene
 
2018-10-12 11:53:49 AM  

Kefka1911: khitsicker: i read that as kefka.

I had nothing to do with this man's nightmare situation.


img.fark.netView Full Size

What a giant Kefka might look like (with bonus admiring catgirl)
 
2018-10-12 11:56:23 AM  
coubsecure-s.akamaihd.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 11:57:13 AM  
The article mentioned "guttural Czech patois". Czech isn't guttural, though he may have meant that his voice morphed into a guttural sound. The language itself doesnt have many guttural sounds at all. The tend to roll their Rs HARD though, and the use of consonants stuck together can make it difficult for English speakers to form some sounds.

/yes yes, I know it's The Onion
//parents are both Czech
 
2018-10-12 11:59:40 AM  

BooksontheBrain: How is this different from the time an insect woke up as a giant Ted Cruz?


That was boring.  It didn't notice anything different.
 
2018-10-12 12:02:50 PM  
READY_KAFKA!?
Youtube 2Z4zMrNNxfg
 
2018-10-12 12:05:40 PM  

Space Station Wagon: I read that as kafta.
Lunch time!


Mmm, Kafka kebobs.
 
2018-10-12 12:06:14 PM  
Induce an earwig into his audio canal to drain off the excess.
 
2018-10-12 12:23:39 PM  
This is still my favorite Onion article (well video) making Kafka jokes:

Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport
Youtube gEyFH-a-XoQ
 
2018-10-12 12:40:34 PM  

Ker_Thwap: I've been checking out the Onion for a long time, fairly consistently.  I once sent a link to a friend, who had never heard of the Onion before.  He immediately began sending me multiple Onion links every single day.

Really?  Stop!  I read the site myself, please stop!  Yeah, that's hilarious, I'm the one who showed you the site, remember?!  I will cut out your heart and feed it to you if you send me another Onion link!

The joy of the Onion is that it has just enough content that some odd little remark will be the one that makes you laugh, but not necessarily make someone else laugh.


Hey! You should check out this link!!!11!!  --> https://politics.theonion.com/cal​m-mea​sured-trump-hard-at-work-after-freak-a​ccident-1829686798
 
2018-10-12 12:41:18 PM  
That's so Kafkaesque!

Please, no meat touching ma'am!
Youtube OaXfnyWS1xc
 
2018-10-12 12:42:42 PM  
So the guy woke up as a giant stream processor?

/DevOps dad joke
 
2018-10-12 01:30:56 PM  
Maybe, just maybe, The Onion is as funny as it ever was, but its us, the reader who need more to be impressed.

It was never 'laugh out loud" bust-guttingly funny.
 
2018-10-12 02:06:05 PM  
Reminds me of a book I read as a kid that was about a cockroach who woke up to discover he had been transformed into a boy.
 
2018-10-12 02:07:31 PM  
This article has some Bad Mojo....
 
2018-10-12 03:55:10 PM  

T.rex: It was never 'laugh out loud" bust-guttingly funny.


On her 18th birthday:

Jenna Bush's Federally Protected Wetlands Now Open For Public Drilling
6/20/01 3:00pm

i.kinja-img.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 03:57:27 PM  

T.rex: It was never 'laugh out loud" bust-guttingly funny.


Harry Potter Books Spark Rise In Satanism Among Children

"Hermione is my favorite, because she's smart and has a kitty," said 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, SC.  "Jesus died because He was weak and stupid."
 
2018-10-12 04:05:46 PM  
My favorite Rock Opera

Franz Kafka - Rock Opera
Youtube 8uaaF83eVig
 
2018-10-12 04:13:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-12 04:40:12 PM  
I suppose that's better than waking up as a tomato the about the size of the planet Mars....
 
2018-10-12 06:12:18 PM  

Billy Liar: "I wanted to be BIG!!!"
[media.gettyimages.com image 594x455]


These discount motel rooms just get smaller and smaller all the time. Or is it just me?

Because we've been there. The horror. The horror. The inaccuracy of the sur-charges.
 
2018-10-12 06:12:56 PM  

Dangerous_sociopath: [img.fark.net image 850x1133]


Lilly Munster' s short-lived business venture.
 
2018-10-12 06:14:49 PM  
Let this be a lesson to us all:  do not fall asleep in a VW Bug. They are too cramped for sleeping. You will find you life turns into a Kafkaesque nightmare if you try to sleep in this car.
 
2018-10-12 06:20:32 PM  
Franz Kafta had a scary life. He often dreamed he was a free, happy little cockroach underneath a bed, only to wake up to discover that in reality he was a insurance adjustor with no life and a large porno collection under his bed.

Sometimes he would wake up underneath the bed, which would make it just that much more painful and disappointing on a work-day.
 
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