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(AZ Family)   RIP Florida man   ( azfamily.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Tropical cyclone, Mexico Beach, Panama City, downed trees, Mexico Beach residents, Hurricane Michael, Mexico Beach resident, Hurricane Michael email  
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7784 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2018 at 5:28 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-10-11 02:31:33 AM  
Florida Man died how he lived: oblivious to the dangers and implications of the world around him.
 
2018-10-11 03:19:17 AM  
A story about Florida Man written in Arizona. Yeah, that's about right.
 
2018-10-11 05:32:26 AM  
A person died? How is this possible?? I was assured by some who said he'd been researching the hurricane for many days that the warnings were massively overblown, that people were panicking for nothing!

Have i been lied to?
 
2018-10-11 05:34:15 AM  
He died doing what he loved.
 
2018-10-11 05:45:56 AM  

JesusIsNowBlind: He died doing what he loved.


Dying?
 
2018-10-11 05:51:51 AM  
Weep not, another will rise.
 
2018-10-11 05:54:52 AM  
I read about a flood of calls pleading for help as the storm made landfall. They were told, "We can't help you now, you're on your own." The recordings of those calls should be made public, as an educational tool. Probably wouldn't make much difference next time, though. "I ain't a chicken like those people."
 
2018-10-11 06:02:44 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
RIP Flrodia Man
 
2018-10-11 06:22:50 AM  

creckert: JesusIsNowBlind: He died doing what he loved.

Dying?


Meth and dumbassery, maybe?
 
2018-10-11 06:25:43 AM  
Other buildings were stripped of their walls and roofs or ripped apart by downed trees and power lines. Medical Sacred Heart lost its windows and sustained damage to its roof and exterior walls.

Scrubs Welcome to Sacred Heart
Youtube oiyDQUswtSA
 
2018-10-11 06:28:17 AM  

JesusIsNowBlind: He died doing what he loved.


Cooking meth while standing naked in a trailer ankle-deep in his own foulage?
 
2018-10-11 06:30:06 AM  
The devastation reminded her of what she witnessed in 1992 when Andrew hit. And she estimated that it would take the same amount of time to fix the damage -- possibly months or even a year.


That sounds uhh... a bit 'optimistic'.
 
2018-10-11 07:27:03 AM  
Slammed in the Panhandle?  Not even once.
 
2018-10-11 07:27:19 AM  
Lies. You cannot kill Florida Man.  He's like Aslan, or Jesus.

*whispers* sometimes they come back
 
2018-10-11 07:27:42 AM  

Summoner101: Slammed in the Panhandle?  Not even once.


I was slammed in the panhandle once. Hurt like a biatch and I was pissing blood for a week.
 
2018-10-11 07:35:13 AM  
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2018-10-11 07:43:39 AM  

adj_m: The devastation reminded her of what she witnessed in 1992 when Andrew hit. And she estimated that it would take the same amount of time to fix the damage -- possibly months or even a year.


That sounds uhh... a bit 'optimistic'.


Yup, both hospitals in Panama City Beach are destroyed. One that a farker works at had an entire side of the building basically missing, it's going to take more than a year to demo that and build a replacement.
 
2018-10-11 07:52:59 AM  
As a Florida Man myself, all I can do is remember you partner.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-11 08:03:16 AM  
Not to worry, Florida Man is like the Dread Pirate Roberts.  There is a never-ending succession, always a replacement candidate waiting in the wings.
 
2018-10-11 08:13:17 AM  
Hurricane man, hurricane man, hurricane man hates Florida man, they have a fight, hurricane wins, hurricane man.
 
2018-10-11 08:18:01 AM  

Smoking GNU: A person died? How is this possible?? I was assured by some who said he'd been researching the hurricane for many days that the warnings were massively overblown, that people were panicking for nothing!

Have i been lied to?


Florida Man was trying to use his mighty Florida Breath to combat the hurricane.

Unfortunately, his breath was 66 proof, thereby making Hurricane Michael mightier. Florida Man didn't stand a chance, and he was knocked feet-over-panhandle into a retirees Lincoln Continental.

The Lincoln Continental is unharmed, but Florida Man is dead, awaiting a resurrection story when his publisher realizes he needs a plot for next year's iteration of Crisis on Some Subset of Worlds. For copyright reasons, the article couldn't show the touching finale of issue 50 of Florida Man, when the love-of-his-life, Agnes, clung frantically to the remains of Florida Man with her withered arms, sobbing as she realized that the Florida Man was actually her next door neighbor at the retirement home, Billy Bosley, without his trifocals and toupee.
 
2018-10-11 08:27:12 AM  

Scanty Em: I read about a flood of calls pleading for help as the storm made landfall. They were told, "We can't help you now, you're on your own." The recordings of those calls should be made public, as an educational tool. Probably wouldn't make much difference next time, though. "I ain't a chicken like those people."


rescuers/emt/similar professions save for doctors/nurses evacuate themselves. There's some mantra to the effect of "the only useful paramedic is a live one"
 
2018-10-11 08:47:26 AM  
I have an older friend who posted on his social media: "My daughter is on vacation in Florida and she's getting pounded by Michael."

I did not respond. I wanted to. So bad.
 
2018-10-11 08:56:16 AM  
Keep in mind emergency services are in shambles in the worse hit areas.  The body count is going to go up sadly.
 
2018-10-11 10:34:11 AM  

bbcard1: I have an older friend who posted on his social media: "My daughter is on vacation in Florida and she's getting pounded by Michael."

I did not respond. I wanted to. So bad.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-11 10:44:53 AM  

bbcard1: I have an older friend who posted on his social media: "My daughter is on vacation in Florida and she's getting pounded by Michael."

I did not respond. I wanted to. So bad.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-11 11:20:58 AM  

bbcard1: I have an older friend who posted on his social media: "My daughter is on vacation in Florida and she's getting pounded by Michael."

I did not respond. I wanted to. So bad.



It's probably not too late. See if you can work in a reference to 'blowing' somewhere.
 
2018-10-11 11:34:29 AM  
You can't kill Florida Man because we are all Florida Man
Even the ladies
and the men dressed as ladies

especially the men dressed as ladies.
 
2018-10-11 12:03:36 PM  
I live, I die stupidly, I live again!
 
2018-10-11 12:30:15 PM  
Just thinning the herd!
 
2018-10-11 12:31:31 PM  

JesusIsNowBlind: He died doing what he loved.


Panhandling?
 
2018-10-11 12:34:19 PM  
bing.comView Full Size

Florida man is like Kenny. You can kill him, but he'll be back in the next episode.
 
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