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(WQAD Quad Cities)   If you throw a fake fundraiser for your dead friend and keep all the money, you deserve to have him haunt you for the rest of your life   ( wqad.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Morrow, Son, money, Family, Quad Cities, Drew, Moline, Illinois, Gordie Morrow  
•       •       •

5194 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2018 at 6:20 PM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-10-10 12:44:23 PM  
Well yeah, he can't physically enjoy the hookers and blow that all that money will buy, but you bet your ass he's gonna watch.
 
2018-10-10 05:55:51 PM  

guestguy: Well yeah, he can't physically enjoy the hookers and blow that all that money will buy, but you bet your ass he's gonna watch.


Sounds to me as though you've no faith in technological advancements.
 
2018-10-10 06:25:23 PM  
Dick Move.
Period.
 
2018-10-10 06:25:48 PM  
"Gordie has repeatedly told me the money's going to be returned to everyone who made a donation. I have to trust that," says Lightfoot.

This part makes zero sense.
 
2018-10-10 06:30:03 PM  
Morrow tells News 8 he has put on 21 other benefits in town. He says he has never had a problem before this.

This is how he earns his living, by cashing in on the dead.  That's why he does it in such a way that the law can't do anything about it. He has +X to his Thievery skills,
 
2018-10-10 06:33:39 PM  
An elderly miser just returned from from the the hospital after finding out he didn't have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer.

He said, "Well, today I found out I don't have long to live. So, I have summoned you three here, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave."

The miser soon passed away, and the three people happened to run into each other and started talking about the unusual request.

The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money. He owed me from lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested.

"The Priest said, "I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It's all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave."

The Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing! "I am ashamed at you two for taking advantage of a dying man like that. I will have you know I personally wrote him a check for the full amount and threw it in!!!"
 
2018-10-10 06:40:17 PM  
FTFA: Drew Morgan died in a motorcycle accident on the corner of Division Street and 53rd Avenue back in July.

It was 53rd street. Not avenue. And before I get accused of nitpicking, confusing 53rd street and 53rd avenue in Davenport would be like confusing State street and State avenue in Chicago.
 
2018-10-10 06:42:18 PM  
Beir Money
 
2018-10-10 06:42:49 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Beir Money


Er Bier Money
 
2018-10-10 06:49:49 PM  
I should encourage my friends to do this.

I mean, I'm sure the county will eventually toss the body in an incinerator, and my friends can keep the money.  Fark paying for a funereal.
 
2018-10-10 06:50:26 PM  
After investigating, police say there's nothing they can do.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
 
2018-10-10 06:50:37 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: guestguy: Well yeah, he can't physically enjoy the hookers and blow that all that money will buy, but you bet your ass he's gonna watch.

Sounds to me as though you've no faith in technological advancements.


There might be a way to wire in teledildonics.
 
2018-10-10 06:51:45 PM  
Von Decarlo must be terrified.
 
2018-10-10 06:53:04 PM  
There aren't a lot of times that having friends or connections in certain crime organizations is handy, but this might qualify.
 
2018-10-10 07:00:02 PM  
Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.
 
2018-10-10 07:01:40 PM  
A. The police could charge them with fraud, if they weren't so farking lazy.

B. The family could actually turn over the donated cash just like they said they would. Claiming they'll return all the money to the donators is a total bullshiat lie.
 
2018-10-10 07:08:31 PM  
Hey. Farker owed me money.
 
2018-10-10 07:10:10 PM  
Damn. I was hoping it was a real ghost vengeance thing happening.
 
2018-10-10 07:12:51 PM  

MizzouFTW: Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.


According to the article, the dude is a my mom's lover's girlfriend, not Drew himself.

He is however, a sleezy, opportunistic asshole.
 
2018-10-10 07:26:04 PM  

nytmare: A. The police could charge them with fraud, if they weren't so farking lazy.

B. The family could actually turn over the donated cash just like they said they would. Claiming they'll return all the money to the donators is a total bullshiat lie.



The family never got the money, the asshat "friend" kept it all.
 
2018-10-10 07:29:52 PM  
It's okay to have dead people come out to support you, though.
 
2018-10-10 07:31:45 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: It's okay to have dead people come out to support you, though.


*prolonged soupy fart noise*
 
2018-10-10 07:33:34 PM  
I read the article and I'm not clear on the most important point, in which state is fraud legal?
 
2018-10-10 07:35:43 PM  

C18H27NO3: "Gordie has repeatedly told me the money's going to be returned to everyone who made a donation. I have to trust that," says Lightfoot.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-10 07:37:20 PM  
(Chains rustling)
Drew Ghost: Brooooooo... Brooooooooo
Gordie: Dude!, Wasssuppp? Check it out! I got some new tires for my bike. I know you would have wanted it for me.
 
2018-10-10 07:40:14 PM  
Fake Fundraiser For My Dead Friend is my Deathcab For Cutie cover band.
 
2018-10-10 07:53:50 PM  

philodough: MizzouFTW: Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.

According to the article, the dude is a my mom's lover's girlfriend, not Drew himself.

He is however, a sleezy, opportunistic asshole.


Is this a filterpwn of which I'm unaware, or did you just have a stroke?
 
2018-10-10 08:05:01 PM  
Ha that's certainly not what I posted, so yeah, something's wonky in the pipes.
 
2018-10-10 08:20:30 PM  
I've seen shiat tons of money embezzled through one "benefit" bike ride locally. The mother does it in honor of her young daughter that died in a car accident. They raised 31k one year. Donated 3k to a liver transplant lady. Donated 3k to a local special needs program. Her and her husband and another family member kept the rest as "organizational fees" or some shiat. They were out zero money because everything from the food to live bands etc were donated. And we have no idea what the real total was. As only they counted the money each time. Based off other events I helped organize I would venture to guess they actually pulled in closer to 50 to 60k.
 
2018-10-10 08:43:54 PM  
Friend ?   No, friends would not do this.  The guy's an unconscionably noxious slime.
img.fark.netView Full Size

Sorry Gordie, your epic karmic beatdown is long overdue.  With any luck, this goes unexpectedly viral.
 
2018-10-10 08:48:55 PM  
bing.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-10 08:54:34 PM  

Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: philodough: MizzouFTW: Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.

According to the article, the dude is a my mom's lover's girlfriend, not Drew himself.

He is however, a sleezy, opportunistic asshole.

Is this a filterpwn of which I'm unaware, or did you just have a stroke?


Drewgs, or the my mom's lovers.  In other words, Russian spammers and conservatrolls.  But in this case, the friend of the guy Drew from TFA.
 
2018-10-10 08:55:48 PM  

rebelyell2006: Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: philodough: MizzouFTW: Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.

According to the article, the dude is a my mom's lover's girlfriend, not Drew himself.

He is however, a sleezy, opportunistic asshole.

Is this a filterpwn of which I'm unaware, or did you just have a stroke?

Drewgs, or the my mom's lovers.  In other words, Russian spammers and conservatrolls.  But in this case, the friend of the guy Drew from TFA.


Because Drew is a sensitive snowflake.
 
2018-10-10 08:57:04 PM  
Something about fake charities really strikes the ire in me...maybe the perversion of generosity
 
2018-10-10 09:29:30 PM  

rebelyell2006: rebelyell2006: Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: philodough: MizzouFTW: Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.

According to the article, the dude is a my mom's lover's girlfriend, not Drew himself.

He is however, a sleezy, opportunistic asshole.

Is this a filterpwn of which I'm unaware, or did you just have a stroke?

Drewgs, or the my mom's lovers.  In other words, Russian spammers and conservatrolls.  But in this case, the friend of the guy Drew from TFA.

Because Drew is a sensitive snowflake.


It'll be interesting to see if those who actively facilitate Active Measures face some consequences down the road...
 
2018-10-10 09:29:57 PM  

Riothamus: rebelyell2006: rebelyell2006: Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: philodough: MizzouFTW: Maybe he wants to see his friend so bad again that he wants to be haunted by him.

According to the article, the dude is a my mom's lover's girlfriend, not Drew himself.

He is however, a sleezy, opportunistic asshole.

Is this a filterpwn of which I'm unaware, or did you just have a stroke?

Drewgs, or the my mom's lovers.  In other words, Russian spammers and conservatrolls.  But in this case, the friend of the guy Drew from TFA.

Because Drew is a sensitive snowflake.

It'll be interesting to see if those who actively facilitate Active Measures face some consequences down the road...


I just said active twice.

I like active.
 
2018-10-10 09:53:32 PM  
But its it's still ok for Trump to use the dead as his own political agenda
 
2018-10-10 10:23:36 PM  

TylerParry: Fake Fundraiser For My Dead Friend is my Deathcab For Cutie cover band.


They have a catchiest song about a suicide pact ever!
 
2018-10-10 10:53:22 PM  

RandyJohnson: FTFA: Drew Morgan died in a motorcycle accident on the corner of Division Street and 53rd Avenue back in July.

It was 53rd street. Not avenue. And before I get accused of nitpicking, confusing 53rd street and 53rd avenue in Davenport would be like confusing State street and State avenue in Chicago.


If only someone could write a book about all the not news fails journalists do. And maybe even make a website where a community could comment about it. That is the real and true FARK, and you have found it.
 
2018-10-10 10:56:48 PM  

Sean VasDeferens: I read the article and I'm not clear on the most important point, in which state is fraud legal?


Planning something?
 
2018-10-10 11:01:03 PM  

RandyJohnson: FTFA: Drew Morgan died in a motorcycle accident on the corner of Division Street and 53rd Avenue back in July.

It was 53rd street. Not avenue. And before I get accused of nitpicking, confusing 53rd street and 53rd avenue in Davenport would be like confusing State street and State avenue in Chicago.


Not Ann Arbor though. Where Fifth Avenue is infamously parallel to Fifth Street.
 
2018-10-11 12:52:56 AM  
People donate to these things to make themselves feel better about their lives. Scam or not he helped others feel better.
 
2018-10-11 01:17:26 AM  
Phony_Soldier

People donate to these things to make themselves feel better about their lives. Scam or not he helped others feel better.


Does not really work that way. I am sure a lot of the donations came locally and not just nameless faces on the interwebz.
 
2018-10-11 01:32:15 AM  

SBinRR: There aren't a lot of times that having friends or connections in certain crime organizations is handy, but this might qualify.


Gordie would qualify for a job at the Pentagon.
 
2018-10-11 08:50:37 AM  

TylerParry: Fake Fundraiser For My Dead Friend is my Deathcab For Cutie cover band.


We need a tab where all headlines are formatted like your comment.

I love this gag.
 
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