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(Miami Herald)   Why Florida headlines are the best headlines: "Did the commissioner accused of sphincter bleaching just compare the mayor to Hitler?"   ( miamiherald.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Abuse, Hitler, mayor, vice mayor, Child abuse, domestic violence proclamation, Bullying, Psychological abuse  
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3192 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2018 at 5:36 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-10-09 12:46:22 PM  
Unfortunately, given the state of American politics these days, this headline is much less unique to my crazy state.

As for TFA, she should have avoided the reference altogether.  But it sounds more like she said the situation was analogous, and not the man.
 
2018-10-09 12:46:32 PM  
I don't want to read TFA because there is no way it lives up to that headline.
 
2018-10-09 05:39:44 PM  
How does the mayor know?

Like, where are the links to the pictures?
 
2018-10-09 05:40:07 PM  
Godwinned in the asshole.
 
2018-10-09 05:41:22 PM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size


Yes, the headline AND the sparkly white sphincter.
 
2018-10-09 05:43:09 PM  
That headline is like a mildly risqué version of Mad Libs.  Or maybe a game of Cards Against Humanity.
 
2018-10-09 05:44:48 PM  

Diogenes: Unfortunately, given the state of American politics these days, this headline is much less unique to my crazy state.

As for TFA, she should have avoided the reference altogether.  But it sounds more like she said the situation was analogous, and not the man.


This. I assume her critic actually understands that "A is to B as C is to D" is not "A is like C". He chooses to be the bigger asshole though, by pretending otherwise.
 
2018-10-09 05:45:38 PM  
Hallandale Beach is like this little tiny chunk of people who are somehow too crazy for Hollywood and North Miami Beach. I am not surprised.

/I do miss it sometimes
 
2018-10-09 05:46:10 PM  
analbleachingguide.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-09 05:46:19 PM  

LindenFark: Diogenes: Unfortunately, given the state of American politics these days, this headline is much less unique to my crazy state.

As for TFA, she should have avoided the reference altogether.  But it sounds more like she said the situation was analogous, and not the man.

This. I assume her critic actually understands that "A is to B as C is to D" is not "A is like C". He chooses to be the bigger asshole though, by pretending otherwise.


/ A:B::C:D does not assert that A==C
 
2018-10-09 05:46:30 PM  
Hitler's Bleached Asshole to be someone's new band name or Fark handle in 3...2...
 
2018-10-09 05:46:42 PM  

Clarence Brown: I don't want to read TFA because there is no way it lives up to that headline.


Good call. It's mostly about the commissioner comparing the mayor to Hitler, with only mere passing references to the anal bleaching in question. I was disappointed.
 
2018-10-09 05:52:25 PM  
Pics or it didn't happen.
 
2018-10-09 05:53:57 PM  

MessyDwarf: [analbleachingguide.com image 577x641]


Oh god. I have no idea what color my asshole is, much less what color it should be.
 
2018-10-09 05:54:10 PM  
Name's Artemis....
 
2018-10-09 05:54:30 PM  

KingBiefWhistle: Hallandale Beach is like this little tiny chunk of people who are somehow too crazy for Hollywood and North Miami Beach. I am not surprised.

/I do miss it sometimes


I would never move back there, but I do miss it sometimes as well.
 
2018-10-09 05:54:31 PM  

hammettman: Godwinned in the asshole.


The name of my German alt-rock band.
 
2018-10-09 05:54:43 PM  
"Since the anal bleaching comment - possibly a reference to her mother's med spa"
Pulitzer quality reporting. Thanks Florida!
 
2018-10-09 05:55:11 PM  
After skimming TFA it seems both sides were acting like children, with the mayor coming off as the most immature.
 
2018-10-09 05:57:32 PM  
And this is why God sends hurricanes in October.
 
2018-10-09 06:00:04 PM  
ftfa: "A man who sat here a month ago and dared to talk about my private parts, sponsoring a proclamation for domestic violence. Wow. That's like Hitler having a proclamation for Jews. Or Fidel Castro having freedom day for Cubans."

That's some weapons-grade pandering right there, holy shiat. I'm not even mad.
 
2018-10-09 06:02:15 PM  

Krieghund: MessyDwarf: [analbleachingguide.com image 577x641]

Oh god. I have no idea what color my asshole is, much less what color it should be.


I'm not sure how they feel about being called an asshole but I bet your significant other loves the fact you don't see race.
 
2018-10-09 06:07:06 PM  
If a government official expects the public to kiss their ass, it's only polite to bleach.
 
2018-10-09 06:10:02 PM  
At least she didn't make out during schindlers list
 
2018-10-09 06:15:26 PM  
Mayor:
"See where my earned income came from last year? I'm sure you do. Was it getting my sphincter bleached?... No, that would be you and your family business," [the mayor] replied...

...Lima-Taub's mother owns a spa which sells skin bleaching products, the Herald reported, but Lima-Taub said she doesn't work there.

Commissioner:
"A man who sat here a month ago and dared to talk about my private parts, sponsoring a proclamation for domestic violence. Wow. That's like Hitler having a proclamation for Jews. Or Fidel Castro having freedom day for Cubans."

It's sad they are slap-fighting, but the faux outrage about calling a Jew Hitler is faux (they're both Jews).
 
2018-10-09 06:35:06 PM  

MythDragon: Hitler's Bleached Asshole to be someone's new band name or Fark handle in 3...2...


You rang?
 
2018-10-09 06:43:02 PM  
"Did you bleach your anus?"
--The riddle of the sphincter.
 
2018-10-09 06:59:29 PM  

Diogenes: But it sounds more like she said the situation was analogous, and not the man.


It's spelled 'analingus.'

/ pet peeve
 
2018-10-09 07:10:11 PM  

Clarence Brown: I don't want to read TFA because there is no way it lives up to that headline.


This. The headline just cracked me up. Weird perfection somehow.
 
2018-10-09 07:14:41 PM  

Snarfangel: "Did you bleach your anus?"
--The riddle of the sphincter.


Dear God, I almost spit up bourbon.

This thread has provided great laughs. Thanks to all. Especially Subby, without whom it the thread would not have been possible
 
2018-10-09 07:49:25 PM  
When my city incorporated in 1999, we had to have an election. Lots of candidates stepped up for the council. One of them was a guy just arrested for attacking another guy with a machete (liveaboard-boater-to-liveaboard-boate​r violence in Boot Key Harbor). First candidate forum, the candidates were asked to introduce themselves. Arrestee: "I'm Iceman and I am not armed" (he delivered ice to the boaters in the harbor, hence his nickname).
 
2018-10-09 07:56:26 PM  
"series of #MeToo posts on social media"

That's the moment you owed me a new beer, subby.
 
2018-10-09 08:00:21 PM  
I didn't read TFA, but the headline makes me think it would be something along the lines of this onion article: https://www.theonion.com/ask​-the-minut​es-from-a-heated-kiwanis-club-meeting-​1819583825
 
fek [TotalFark]
2018-10-09 08:04:54 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

/looted
 
2018-10-09 08:08:45 PM  

marklar: I didn't read TFA, but the headline makes me think it would be something along the lines of this onion article: https://www.theonion.com/ask-​the-minutes-from-a-heated-kiwanis-club​-meeting-1819583825


RTFA. Reality left The Onion in its dust a while back.
 
2018-10-09 08:09:45 PM  

MessyDwarf: [analbleachingguide.com image 577x641]


I'm disappointed they used Roman Numerals to categorize the shades and not a series of asterisk like symbols
.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-09 08:10:16 PM  
Dammit!
 
2018-10-09 08:22:22 PM  
At least there weren't any asshole tattoos.
 
2018-10-09 09:20:54 PM  

OkieDookie: At least there weren't any asshole tattoos.


"Don't it make my Brown Eye blue."
 
2018-10-09 10:54:39 PM  
Does anybody know the the heck the 'embedded' video is all about? Because it seems to have NOTHING to do with the story?
 
2018-10-10 12:18:16 AM  

KingBiefWhistle: Hallandale Beach is like this little tiny chunk of people who are somehow too crazy for Hollywood and North Miami Beach. I am not surprised.

/I do miss it sometimes


Too crazy for Hollywood? Herointown? Eh been forever since I had any reason to go to Hallandale.
 
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