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(KTLA Los Angeles)   Man posts Florida sign in his Florida gas station asking Florida people not to microwave their Florida urine before taking their Florida drug tests. FLORIDA   ( ktla.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Convenience store, collect urine samples, urine containers, Filling station, Transport, gas station, Florida gas station, BP gas station  
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3811 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2018 at 2:50 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-10-05 01:17:37 PM  
Ugh.
 
2018-10-05 02:09:35 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 02:27:24 PM  
Sounds like a business opportunity to me.

Spend $10 on an extra microwave at the Salvation Army and charge customers $2.00 to use it.
 
2018-10-05 02:41:07 PM  
But what is Bear Grylls going to do when he needs a nice piping hot cup of pick-me-up?

"Mmm mmm good. Those extra helpings of asparagus are really paying off."
 
2018-10-05 02:54:10 PM  
Typical Florida. Microwaving is only step 1. You then have to drink it, dont worry it's sterile, then re-urinate it.
 
2018-10-05 02:54:37 PM  
Plus, it just doesn't taste the same as when you use a conventional oven.
 
2018-10-05 02:54:42 PM  
I hide my urine in my bladder to keep it warm.
 
2018-10-05 02:55:01 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 02:55:03 PM  
warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.
 
2018-10-05 02:57:12 PM  
Parul Patel says he's become "sick and tired" of people walking into his BP gas station and On the Fly convenience store...

I think I see the problem here.
 
2018-10-05 02:57:40 PM  

grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.


usually the scam is that when handing over someone else's urine at a test, its not at "body temputure" and the testing admin can refuse the sample because its' not warm enough.

/just guessing here...
 
2018-10-05 02:59:16 PM  

grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.


Perhaps you missed the state of which we speak.

I suppose the waves could denature some molecules of the right type.  But yeah, it seems unlikely to have any result other than a hot smelly cup of pee.
 
2018-10-05 03:01:26 PM  

steklo: grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.

usually the scam is that when handing over someone else's urine at a test, its not at "body temputure" and the testing admin can refuse the sample because its' not warm enough.

/just guessing here...


This is true.  The cups usually have a temperature strip on them with boxes showing the matching temperature.  If it is out of range, they won't take the sample.
 
2018-10-05 03:01:53 PM  

steklo: grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.

usually the scam is that when handing over someone else's urine at a test, its not at "body temputure" and the testing admin can refuse the sample because its' not warm enough.

/just guessing here...


Your pee has to be in a certain termperature range when you hand it in.  I usually find strapping a hand warmer to the bag and shoving it in my arse crack on the ride to the testing lab to be sufficient.

/or so a 'friend' told me
//or pretend you are going to drug test one of your kids then use that...
///These are just theories
 
2018-10-05 03:03:22 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Sounds like a business opportunity to me.

Spend $10 on an extra microwave at the Salvation Army and charge customers $2.00 to use it.


I charge people $20 for my piss(I'm farking serious). Everyone in my neighborhood knows my piss is clean. I have about 20 repeat people, because they ended getting a surprised drop for the company they work for.
/In other words, I'm helping keep the unemployment rate down around here.
//It's no need to microwave the piss, just place it in a unlubed condom and keep it directly on your taint.
\That sounds gross, but I'm not the one that have to do it.
 
2018-10-05 03:03:36 PM  
The temperature of the urine is measured by a senor on the collection cup. It's an automatic fail if it's too cold, as it's an indication it didn't come fresh out of the subject at the time of the test.

/Microwaving urine makes me question that gas station hot dog choice right about now...
 
2018-10-05 03:05:47 PM  
My dog...

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:06:04 PM  
While warming up your piss sample in a gas station microwave before your drug test isn't rock bottom, it's pretty goddamned close.
 
2018-10-05 03:06:18 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:06:46 PM  

MrSplifferton: Your pee has to be in a certain termperature range when you hand it in.


About 14 years ago, I saw some items on line to help out with this issue. It was like a rubber bladder. You put someone else's urine in it, strapped it to your leg (let your body temp, warm it up before the test.) Go to the test, take the tube out from your leg via your fly into the sample cup and hand over good, clean, non drugged urine.

Not sure if it would work or not but you get the idea.
 
2018-10-05 03:08:10 PM  
i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:09:24 PM  
Floridation, Mandrake. I microwave my florids to deny them my essence.
 
2018-10-05 03:09:35 PM  
s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
 
US1
2018-10-05 03:10:09 PM  

grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.


I think its so the people testing the urine think its fresh warm pee and not the old stored pee  that the drug abuser bought off of someone else.
 
2018-10-05 03:11:43 PM  

steklo: MrSplifferton: Your pee has to be in a certain termperature range when you hand it in.

About 14 years ago, I saw some items on line to help out with this issue. It was like a rubber bladder. You put someone else's urine in it, strapped it to your leg (let your body temp, warm it up before the test.) Go to the test, take the tube out from your leg via your fly into the sample cup and hand over good, clean, non drugged urine.

Not sure if it would work or not but you get the idea.


It works fine, synthetic urine also works from the times I have tried it.  Trickiest part is getting the temperature right, but the bags usually have a temperature strip to help you out with that.

This is for the simplest of employment drug tests, what happens is you hand them your sample, they note the temperature, and then they put it into a piss analyzing machine.  If it is clear then you pass, they never send it to the lab.  If you don't clear it, then your sample is sent to the drug lab to be analyzed more closely.

The other kind of drug test is the DOT and probation drug tests, those ones they can actually watch to make sure you provide a real sample, I wouldn't try faking those ones.
 
2018-10-05 03:11:46 PM  

cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]


mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.
 
2018-10-05 03:13:15 PM  
They will have to put a urine button right next to the popcorn and baked potato button.
 
2018-10-05 03:14:28 PM  

Diogenes: grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.

Perhaps you missed the state of which we speak.

I suppose the waves could denature some molecules of the right type.  But yeah, it seems unlikely to have any result other than a hot smelly cup of pee.


Drug tests do not test for proteins,which are the things that denature with heat.  They could turn it cloudy though.

And it will add that special tang to offset that bitterness after they microwave the day old coffee in the carafe so you think its fresh.
 
2018-10-05 03:15:10 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]

mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.


She needs to go at 10 pm, 12 am, 3 am, 6 am, and again at 8 am.  During the day, she goes out maybe 2 times.
 
2018-10-05 03:15:49 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:16:58 PM  

grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.


I've used a synthetic that comes with both a temp strip and a little warmer, similar to the kind you can get and pop to warm up and stick in gloves or socks in winter. If the sample isn't within normal limits when given they refuse to even test it.

With these tests the don't really test to see if it is urine. They test to see if it has the component chemicals urine would have (uric acid, etc, etc) and any substance trace. I wouldn't trust the synth at a real lab, but for the average collector/tester at a large scale pre-employment testing facility it works fine. As long as that temp is good.

Most synths tell you to microwave it to temp. The warming process is just too long with the little warmer they give and body heat. I'm not sure what the required temp is upon receipt but it's gotta be close to 98.6, which is hard for the body to do on its own externally.
 
2018-10-05 03:19:23 PM  

steklo: cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]

mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.


That's what robes and slippers are for...
 
2018-10-05 03:19:59 PM  

cowgirl toffee: She needs to go at 10 pm, 12 am, 3 am, 6 am, and again at 8 am. During the day, she goes out maybe 2 times.


From what I understand, depending on the breed, dogs should be walked every two hours or so.

I don't mind so much, its the pounding rain or cold/snow that I don't care for very much.
 
2018-10-05 03:21:01 PM  

steklo: MrSplifferton: Your pee has to be in a certain termperature range when you hand it in.

About 14 years ago, I saw some items on line to help out with this issue. It was like a rubber bladder. You put someone else's urine in it, strapped it to your leg (let your body temp, warm it up before the test.) Go to the test, take the tube out from your leg via your fly into the sample cup and hand over good, clean, non drugged urine.

Not sure if it would work or not but you get the idea.


Major plot point in Gattaca.
 
2018-10-05 03:21:49 PM  

guestguy: That's what robes and slippers are for...


I'll do a good sturdy pair of slippers and my PJ's now consist of a t-shirt and a pair of old gym shorts.

/no, i won't be sending photos...
//ok I will...look below.
///my dog:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:22:40 PM  

grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.


Warming up cold samples is probably what it is. In a previous job we got a call from the testing facility letting us know that the prospective hire we sent turned in a sample with ice crystals in it. When I took the pee test for my current job they made you empty your pockets into a cabinet that they padlocked before you closed the door
 
2018-10-05 03:22:44 PM  

steklo: guestguy: That's what robes and slippers are for...

I'll do a good sturdy pair of slippers and my PJ's now consist of a t-shirt and a pair of old gym shorts.

/no, i won't be sending photos...
//ok I will...look below.
///my dog:

[img.fark.net image 850x772]


I WAS LED TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OLD GYM SHORTS!
 
2018-10-05 03:23:55 PM  

grimlock1972: warming urine before a drug test? can't see that having any affect on what the test might reveal.   I am no expert on such things.   Can't see cold urine throwing off results either.   Those deductions lead me to wonder if they are warming up old clean samples they took and stored before they indulged in the illegal substance of their choice.


That said seeing that this is Florida maybe its just that they is weird.


Came here to ask this.  I can't imagine why this is a thing.  Do they think it'll cook the drugs off or something?

In any event, goddamn ick.
 
2018-10-05 03:25:02 PM  

guestguy: I WAS LED TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OLD GYM SHORTS!


heh heh...yeah, not going to happen. They're old, ratty and the elastic hardly keeps them up anymore.

good thing my yard is fenced in and no one can see.
 
2018-10-05 03:26:02 PM  
I've been in this store.

There's a huge colony of homeless living in tents on the vacant lot behind the store.

There is a sign in the door that reads "restrooms closed. No facilities."

I wonder why.

/city cops just cleaned out a similar encampment behind the Aldi in Sebring
 
2018-10-05 03:26:33 PM  

guestguy: steklo: cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]

mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.

That's what robes and slippers are for...


static.fjcdn.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:26:39 PM  

steklo: guestguy: I WAS LED TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OLD GYM SHORTS!

heh heh...yeah, not going to happen. They're old, ratty and the elastic hardly keeps them up anymore.

good thing my yard is fenced in and no one can see.


Your dog can...and I was gonna say it looks like he's seen some shiat too.  Got that thousand-yard-stare going.

/kidding
//cute dog :)
 
2018-10-05 03:28:29 PM  

cowgirl toffee: guestguy: steklo: cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]

mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.

That's what robes and slippers are for...

[static.fjcdn.com image 850x637]


Ha!  That one hasn't  happened yet...but this:

img.memecdn.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:31:06 PM  

guestguy: Got that thousand-yard-stare going.


well, this is what happens when you wake up at zero dark thirty every day....

LOL
 
2018-10-05 03:33:01 PM  
Just put a big sign next to a fake and obviously placed camera pointing at the microwave:  "Direct Video Feed to ABC and XYZ Labs.  Video may be disclosed to your employer and the police."
 
2018-10-05 03:33:27 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
Patel?!

/does not approve
 
2018-10-05 03:35:16 PM  

guestguy: cowgirl toffee: guestguy: steklo: cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]

mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.

That's what robes and slippers are for...

[static.fjcdn.com image 850x637]

Ha!  That one hasn't  happened yet...but this:

[img.memecdn.com image 850x478]


You wanna babysit one of my hedgies?
 
2018-10-05 03:39:58 PM  
Put the microwave behind the counter.
 
2018-10-05 03:40:46 PM  

cowgirl toffee: guestguy: cowgirl toffee: guestguy: steklo: cowgirl toffee: My dog...

[i.pinimg.com image 538x960]

mine promptly wakes me up every morning at 5:30AM. I don't even need to set an alarm clock anymore.
She's a leash dog and has to be on a leash whenever outside so that means I have to put clothes and shoes on, leash her up and then go out at 5:30AM into the back yard so she can "water" the grass.

That's what robes and slippers are for...

[static.fjcdn.com image 850x637]

Ha!  That one hasn't  happened yet...but this:

[img.memecdn.com image 850x478]

You wanna babysit one of my hedgies?


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2018-10-05 03:44:34 PM  
guestguy:

Ha!  That one hasn't  happened yet...but this:

[img.memecdn.com image 850x478]


We have 2 German Shepherds and a Basset Hound.

I haven't been barefoot in the yard in over 12 years...
 
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