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(PennLive)   Police looking for nude suspect wearing a hat. The suspect is wearing a hat. Repeat, wearing a hat   ( pennlive.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Lower Swatara Township, Dauphin County, Pennsylvania, Swatara Township resident, Pennsylvania, Major League Baseball, Swatara Township Police, Townships in Pennsylvania, Shay Given  
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2606 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2018 at 9:35 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-09-14 09:30:00 AM  
Well then he wasn't nude then was he? Fake news.
 
2018-09-14 09:38:00 AM  
Where is he wearing the hat?
 
2018-09-14 09:38:55 AM  
Police said the resident found the footage on Aug. 30, showing a man walking around the residence completely naked and touching his genitals


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 09:39:25 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Where is he wearing the hat?


On his head. No. Not that one. Look further down.
 
2018-09-14 09:40:21 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Where is he wearing the hat?


For our eyes sake, there's a 50% chance he is wearing it on the right head... but only 20% chance of that.
 
2018-09-14 09:41:02 AM  
Police said the resident found the footage on Aug. 30, showing a man walking around the residence completely naked and touching his genitals

Did they just assume his gender? Shame.
 
2018-09-14 09:41:04 AM  
Sometimes I like to put a tophat and monocle on my pecker... makes it look more distinguished.
 
2018-09-14 09:41:19 AM  
If he's wearing a hat he's not really nude.  They should just leave the poor dude alone.
 
2018-09-14 09:46:09 AM  

Badmoodman: Police said the resident found the footage on Aug. 30, showing a man walking around the residence completely naked and touching his genitals


[img.fark.net image 234x250]


Divinyls - I Touch Myself
Youtube wv-34w8kGPM
 
2018-09-14 09:47:54 AM  
Good for him.  It is important to wear protection
 
2018-09-14 09:48:04 AM  
image.sportsmansguide.comView Full Size

I am always wearing my army helmet, so technically I'm never nude.

\and I polish it frequently
 
2018-09-14 09:48:30 AM  

guestguy: Sometimes I like to put a tophat and monocle on my pecker... makes it look more distinguished.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
zez
2018-09-14 09:48:56 AM  
This is brilliant! All he has to do is take off the hat and they'll never find him.
 
2018-09-14 09:49:36 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: guestguy: Sometimes I like to put a tophat and monocle on my pecker... makes it look more distinguished.

[img.fark.net image 122x265]


Ha!  I'd take my hat off to you, but...ya know.
 
2018-09-14 09:51:37 AM  
Got to be some way to identify that he's from Penn State, other than walked around naked fondling himself.
 
2018-09-14 09:52:57 AM  
Oh subby.
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 09:54:35 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 09:54:49 AM  
Joe Cocker - You Can Leave Your Hat On (HD)
Youtube jOotsq4soug
 
2018-09-14 09:55:04 AM  
"Suspect is NOT hat-less. Repeat, suspect is NOT hat-less!"

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 09:55:42 AM  

zez: This is brilliant! All he has to do is take off the hat and they'll never find him.


I hope they bust his hatless ass.
 
2018-09-14 09:55:42 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


/Last seen heading in the direction of, uhhhhh, you know, that place that sells chili
 
2018-09-14 09:57:42 AM  
Normal behaviour for a Bears fan.
 
2018-09-14 09:58:28 AM  
if he was wearing a hat he wasn't nude.
 
2018-09-14 09:59:18 AM  
Wow.
 
2018-09-14 10:00:44 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 10:00:50 AM  
Curious George seemed to have misplaced the man in yellow hat's clothes somewhere.
 
2018-09-14 10:06:04 AM  
Why is it always a naked man? Naked women are far more newsworthy.
 
2018-09-14 10:07:48 AM  

jdmorgan82: Why is it always a naked man? Naked women are far more newsworthy


Until you see the mugshot, and then it's usually 3 full days of shame, regret and excessive scouring
 
2018-09-14 10:10:01 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 10:15:21 AM  
Was he heading towards that place that sells chilli?
 
2018-09-14 10:20:00 AM  

WordsnCollision: [img.fark.net image 227x500]


That is the Cat in the Hat
And the article is not about that.
It's about a man with a chapeau
A fancy term for a hat, you know
Playing with his Thingamajigger
Trying to make it look bigger
And caught on a security cam
Fondling his Green Eggs and Ham.
Hortom may now be asking Who
May have a Red Fish that may be turning Blue.
Nor do I have to be a Doctor named Seuss
To tell you that the man is on the loose.
But the story is not about the Cat in the Hat.
I hope this poem has cleared up that.
 
2018-09-14 10:25:11 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 10:27:06 AM  
Lena?

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 10:51:04 AM  

MythDragon: [image.sportsmansguide.com image 850x850]
I am always wearing my army helmet, so technically I'm never nude.
\and I polish it frequently


Approves of your shenanigans
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 10:51:07 AM  
Hatful people are the worst.
 
2018-09-14 11:06:29 AM  
We are Penn State. And we're nude.
 
2018-09-14 11:28:38 AM  
Well we know he's not in the band Men Without Hats...
 
2018-09-14 11:33:37 AM  
He has gone incognito

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 12:03:02 PM  

batlock666: Lena?

[vignette.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x200]


Now this is the kind of person this story should be about.
 
2018-09-14 12:18:17 PM  
I hollered up at Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!"
But it was too late. She'd already got a free shot.
Grandstandin', right there in front of the home team.
 
2018-09-14 12:21:09 PM  
Things like this never happen in Upper Swatara. I think that is where I'll hang my hat from now on.
 
2018-09-14 12:24:18 PM  
TFA doesn't say what kind of hat. How can anyone know they've got the right guy if they don't know what hat to look for?
 
2018-09-14 12:30:40 PM  
Did Jerry Sandusky autograph that penn state hat?
 
2018-09-14 12:44:37 PM  

guestguy: Sometimes I like to put a tophat and monocle on my pecker... makes it look more distinguished.


me too
 
2018-09-14 12:48:14 PM  

eyeq360: WordsnCollision: [img.fark.net image 227x500]

That is the Cat in the Hat
And the article is not about that.
It's about a man with a chapeau
A fancy term for a hat, you know
Playing with his Thingamajigger
Trying to make it look bigger
And caught on a security cam
Fondling his Green Eggs and Ham.
Hortom may now be asking Who
May have a Red Fish that may be turning Blue.
Nor do I have to be a Doctor named Seuss
To tell you that the man is on the loose.
But the story is not about the Cat in the Hat.
I hope this poem has cleared up that.


*applauds*
 
2018-09-14 12:57:41 PM  

Burr: He has gone incognito

[img.fark.net image 850x1133]


Wow, talk about a random blast from the past! I haven't thought about that book in three decades.
 
2018-09-14 01:11:41 PM  

WoodyHayes: Burr: He has gone incognito

[img.fark.net image 850x1133]

Wow, talk about a random blast from the past! I haven't thought about that book in three decades.


Neither did I until I had children.
 
2018-09-14 01:22:46 PM  

bmif: Well we know he's not in the band Men Without Hats...


I say, he can jack if he wants to
If he don't nobody will
And he can get real nude
And totally removed
And he can act like an imbecile...

(but he's no friend of mine)
 
2018-09-14 01:54:52 PM  
Black people in the area should avoid wearing hats for a few days in case the police are feeling shoot.
 
2018-09-14 02:45:44 PM  
bing.comView Full Size

This hat?
 
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