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(Fox News)   A stereotype of a Fox News reader writes an opinion piece: "Here's why I'm NOT evacuating"   ( foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Tropical cyclone, hot dog buns, Hurricane Florence, National Hurricane Center, n't evacuate Wilmington, North Carolina, Cape Fear Rugby, hurricane parties  
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7327 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2018 at 4:33 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



183 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-09-13 10:48:49 PM  
TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.
 
2018-09-13 10:54:54 PM  
Gapped tooth yokel knows how to read and write. More news at 11:00.
 
2018-09-13 10:57:00 PM  
The Cape Fear Rugby Team. Is it made up of people in witness protection programmes and ex-Deep Staters? Do they play the Russian asylum seekers?

Sounds like a team made up for deep cover operators from the Derp Nation.
 
2018-09-13 11:14:56 PM  
This is probably the least stupid "in not leaving" article I've ever read.
 
2018-09-13 11:26:32 PM  
This guy wants to play the hero so badly that he had to write an article telling everyone how awesome he is.
 
2018-09-14 12:01:36 AM  
Planning on escaping a storm surge or flash flooding in this-
a57.foxnews.comView Full Size

Strap on your GoPro and send these guys a copy of the video, ok?
homernews.comView Full Size

It's sure to be a hit.
 
2018-09-14 02:12:35 AM  

davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.


wife? kids?  damn, already bred.

I was hoping for a darwin award potential situation
 
2018-09-14 02:35:08 AM  

doglover: davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.

wife? kids?  damn, already bred.

I was hoping for a darwin award potential situation


I'm not going to wish someone dies because he's willing to risk his life to help his neighbors, even if I might disagree with him.
 
2018-09-14 02:57:15 AM  

davidphogan: doglover: davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.

wife? kids?  damn, already bred.

I was hoping for a darwin award potential situation

I'm not going to wish someone dies because he's willing to risk his life to help his neighbors, even if I might disagree with him.


I don't want him to die, but he's not eligible for a Darwin Award if he has kids.

If he's not a Darwin Award candidate, he's just some guy planning on getting liquored up before doing some post storm yard work with his friends. Sure there's risk, but it's not like he's gonna be out there driving an ambulance or something. He's got a secure shelter.

I'm sure there's a lot of men just like him doing the same thing who weren't inspired to write an article about it. I was hoping for a Goofus who was staying put to show those snowflake Dumbocrats that Hillary belongs in JAIL for Pizzagate and the storm is FAKE NEWS, not Joe Average
 
2018-09-14 04:09:32 AM  
The administration that thinks they did a bang-up job in Puerto Rico will save you.
 
2018-09-14 04:37:20 AM  

davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.


If his heart truly was in the right place then he would go with them rather than leave them to worry about what has happened to him for several days.
 
2018-09-14 04:37:27 AM  

fusillade762: The administration that thinks they did a bang-up job in Puerto Rico will save you.


These are white, Republican voters this time. They will get the finest of paper towels, no doubt.
 
2018-09-14 04:39:43 AM  
He thinks the hurricane is fake news made up by democRats to slander Trump?
 
2018-09-14 04:40:25 AM  

davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.


Yeah.  "I'm staying so I can help those who are less fortunate, if I can" is better than "I'm staying' 'cos my stuff!"
 
2018-09-14 04:40:51 AM  
Stigginit to the weather.
 
2018-09-14 04:42:15 AM  

IbiEvacua: fusillade762: The administration that thinks they did a bang-up job in Puerto Rico will save you.

These are white, Republican voters this time. They will get the finest of paper towels, no doubt.


Bounty, the thicker, quicker picker upper.
 
2018-09-14 04:46:14 AM  

Wyalt Derp: He thinks the hurricane is fake news made up by democRats to slander Trump?


Let's hope all the Trumpers think that way. Trump and Gawd are gonna protect 'em from that Blue Wave, yessiree!
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 04:52:49 AM  

Farking Clown Shoes: Wyalt Derp: He thinks the hurricane is fake news made up by democRats to slander Trump?

Let's hope all the Trumpers think that way. Trump and Gawd are gonna protect 'em from that Blue Wave, yessiree!
[img.fark.net image 346x234]


RAT FARTS!!!
 
2018-09-14 04:56:12 AM  
while I certainly understand the desire to help one's community....it would have been better to have left the evacuation zone.  you can rebuild a house, but once people are gone then that's it - they're gone.
 
2018-09-14 05:00:49 AM  
Thrill seekers.  Like the crazy building climbers, base jumpers, any number of people who do deadly risky stuff for fun.  The dumb ones get weeded out, the ones who learn tend more to success.  This guy has played the game before, but that doesn't guarantee survival.
 
2018-09-14 05:07:23 AM  
What a bunch of assholes in this thread. If the guy wants to stay to take care of his house and help out after, then he's a better person than any of you selfish and cowardly f*cks are.
 
2018-09-14 05:11:39 AM  
so he wants to sit in the mancave with his buds and drink beer without the wife and kids bothering him?   And we're criticizing that?
 
2018-09-14 05:14:05 AM  

LaChanz: What a bunch of assholes in this thread. If the guy wants to stay to take care of his house and help out after, then he's a better person than any of you selfish and cowardly f*cks are.


while his stated desire to stay and help with the clean up immediately after the storm is over is very commendable....the author seems to show a casual disregard for his own safety and a flippant attitude towards what's looking like a pretty big hell storm sitting off the coast generating storm surges.

He probably should have bugged out with his family.
 
2018-09-14 05:17:18 AM  

LaChanz: What a bunch of assholes in this thread. If the guy wants to stay to take care of his house and help out after, then he's a better person than any of you selfish and cowardly f*cks are.


He's defying an evacuation order. His presence there could end up tying down resources that are needed elsewhere. He's putting himself and others at risk, making him a danger to public safety. All so he and his overoptimistic buddies can have a big beer-fueled party while the storm rages outside.
 
2018-09-14 05:18:14 AM  
A family friend lived on the Texas coast, walking distance from the ocean.  She passed away recently, but she was over 90 years old.  She lived in the same house for over 60 years, and never evacuated for a storm.  She said she would never consider it.  There are tons of people like that.  They aren't all hillbillies and republicans and thrill seekers the way you guys are pretending.

I also know people who evacuated in the past and who say they'll never do it again.
 
2018-09-14 05:30:10 AM  

LaChanz: What a bunch of assholes in this thread. If the guy wants to stay to take care of his house and help out after, then he's a better person than any of you selfish and cowardly f*cks are.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 05:33:20 AM  
I expected him to sound waaaaaaaay dumber. Like, "owning the libs by dying because I called a hurricane fake news" dumb. I can't be too mad here. The guy got the wife and kids out, and he makes a couple of good points about how severe property damage will only get worse the longer he has to wait to start cleaning things up. Outside of just actually just GingTFO, he's maybe doing the next best thing.

Mostly, I'm surprised the wife didn't put up a fight. He's putting himself in danger, and potentially leaving her without a husband and his 4 kids without a father.
 
2018-09-14 05:37:38 AM  

stan unusual: Planning on escaping a storm surge or flash flooding in this-

img.fark.netView Full Size

Strap on your GoPro and send these guys a copy of the video, ok?
[homernews.com image 630x676]
It's sure to be a hit.


What are those in the background?
img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 05:39:38 AM  
Good.  With any luck you won't burden this world any more.
 
2018-09-14 05:40:00 AM  

Farking Clown Shoes: LaChanz: What a bunch of assholes in this thread. If the guy wants to stay to take care of his house and help out after, then he's a better person than any of you selfish and cowardly f*cks are.

He's defying an evacuation order. His presence there could end up tying down resources that are needed elsewhere. He's putting himself and others at risk, making him a danger to public safety. All so he and his overoptimistic buddies can have a big beer-fueled party while the storm rages outside.


No he's not. Look, I'm sure you don't own anything you care that much about but as a home owner and someone that cares for my community, I get what he's doing and would probably do the same. So which are you?
 
2018-09-14 05:41:09 AM  

davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.


There is no golden hour for clean up. There is no benefit to cutting up the oak tree 1 hour after the storm versus 25 hours. This reminds me of the Jack Lemmon movie  The Out of Towners. Poor Jack nearly kills himself getting to NYC after his flight is diverted to Boston. The kicker [spoiler] is in the end he does no better than the guy who stayed in Boston.
 
2018-09-14 05:49:30 AM  

blastoh: This is probably the least stupid "in not leaving" article I've ever read.


What he said.
 
2018-09-14 05:51:21 AM  

LaChanz: What a bunch of assholes in this thread. If the guy wants to stay to take care of his house and help out after, then he's a better person than any of you selfish and cowardly f*cks are.


I really don't understand the hate and mocking of people who choose to stay. Jesus Christ, people.

Given the opportunity I'd do the exact same thing. Guy is prepared, got his family out...stop biatching.
 
2018-09-14 05:52:47 AM  
A case and a half of shiate beer? Either he's really optimistic, of plans to start looting immediately.
 
2018-09-14 05:53:36 AM  
Rugby team?  Well, they'll be able to stay entertained by fingering each other's butt holes when the power goes out.
 
2018-09-14 05:56:05 AM  

brantgoose: The Cape Fear Rugby Team. Is it made up of people in witness protection programmes and ex-Deep Staters? Do they play the Russian asylum seekers?

Sounds like a team made up for deep cover operators from the Derp Nation.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 05:57:42 AM  
If he survives, they should do a follow up article where he pisses and moans about how scary it was.
 
2018-09-14 05:59:21 AM  

davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."


img.fark.netView Full Size


In my head, every time I hear that phrase.
 
2018-09-14 06:00:46 AM  

Naido: brantgoose: The Cape Fear Rugby Team. Is it made up of people in witness protection programmes and ex-Deep Staters? Do they play the Russian asylum seekers?

Sounds like a team made up for deep cover operators from the Derp Nation.

[img.fark.net image 333x500]


Shakes fist.

Also, Mitchum > DeNiro. Fight me.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 06:02:42 AM  
"...because the JEW is using the black as muscle!"

/ goes to check article
 
2018-09-14 06:03:43 AM  

IbiEvacua: fusillade762: The administration that thinks they did a bang-up job in Puerto Rico will save you.

These are white, Republican voters this time. They will get the finest of paper towels, no doubt.


Enough to mop up all 3 feet of expected rainfall
 
2018-09-14 06:04:42 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Naido: brantgoose: The Cape Fear Rugby Team. Is it made up of people in witness protection programmes and ex-Deep Staters? Do they play the Russian asylum seekers?

Sounds like a team made up for deep cover operators from the Derp Nation.

[img.fark.net image 333x500]

Shakes fist.

Also, Mitchum > DeNiro. Fight me.

[img.fark.net image 850x398]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 06:14:04 AM  
To be perfectly honest the most revolting piece of this is he stocked sweet wine for the storm.

How tacky.
 
2018-09-14 06:16:18 AM  
Damn, what a douchebag. Who does this, "drinking Mango Kolschs yesterday, "Death before Dishonor."? WTF.

He must be carrying a sh*tload of chips in his pocket and just puts one on his shoulder to "one up" every person he meets.

/a truck inner tube would be better in a hurricane than a sit on top kayak
 
2018-09-14 06:23:46 AM  

Magnifico Giganticus: Good.  With any luck you won't burden this world any more.


Wtf is going on in this thread. Not only is the guy not a burden, but he's got enough survival skills to be much less of a burden than you.
 
2018-09-14 06:25:24 AM  
You could post that exact same article on The Onion and it would totally work.
 
2018-09-14 06:25:29 AM  

Magnifico Giganticus: Good.  With any luck you won't burden this world any more.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-14 06:26:08 AM  

Cheron: davidphogan: TFA: "I have a chainsaw, trailer, and a 4x4 Suburban. Myself and other members of the Cape Fear Rugby Team have banded together and plan to start limbing trees and dragging debris just as soon as the storm passes."

At least his heart's in the right place and he made sure his wife and kids evacuated.

There is no golden hour for clean up. There is no benefit to cutting up the oak tree 1 hour after the storm versus 25 hours. This reminds me of the Jack Lemmon movie  The Out of Towners. Poor Jack nearly kills himself getting to NYC after his flight is diverted to Boston. The kicker [spoiler] is in the end he does no better than the guy who stayed in Boston.


He's not talking about getting a head start on clearing fallen trees in the road.

What he is talking about is if his house gets damaged during the storm in a way exposes the insides (something falls on the roof and exposes part of the attic, etc).

If he leaves with his family, he might not be allowed back for several days or possibly a week or more. Not only is that several days of rain filling your attic, it also gives rats and animals looking for food and shelter an easy way into the house.

If he stays, once the winds die down, he could climb the roof and put a tarp over the hole. Or start patching any other problems before they get worse.
 
2018-09-14 06:27:45 AM  

bobadooey: he's got enough survival skills to be much less of a burden than you.


So he says. We'll see.
 
2018-09-14 06:28:42 AM  
I got four 80-packs of water, three 12-packs Stellas, 2 bottles Dublin Cool Muscadine wine, a 40-pack of pudding cups, granola bars, dried fruit, Gatorade, meat to freeze for grilling, a case of Chef Boyardee snap top ravioli, two big bags of charcoal, and bug spray.

Okay, lets go over this list a bit here.  Most of it's okay but:

1.5 cases of Stella?  Really?  You might die and this is the shiat beer you choose?

2 bottles Dublin Cool Muscadine wine?  First of all, it's "Duplin" not Dublin  It's not Irish.  Second, 2 whole bottles?  Are they like 4 liter jugs or something?

Meat to freeze for grilling?  I hope you have one of those fancy Yeti type coolers that keeps shiat cold for days because you're freezer isn't going to hold out too long with no electricity, especially if it's underwater.

What a jackass.
 
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