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(ABC7 Chicago)   Man buys Slim Jims for his dog, buys a lottery ticket that was worth $10 million   ( abc7chicago.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, straight home, wife check, Elaine Benes, Farrand, winner, ticket  
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2177 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2018 at 11:05 AM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-09-12 10:20:23 AM  
Good dog.
 
2018-09-12 10:30:24 AM  
Now his dog wants steak.
 
2018-09-12 11:05:49 AM  
"Was worth"?  What's it worth now?
 
2018-09-12 11:06:20 AM  
Took the cost of the Slim Jims out of the dog's winnings.
 
2018-09-12 11:06:34 AM  
Man I wish I had a slim jim.
 
2018-09-12 11:06:42 AM  

alechemist: Now his dog wants steak.


for life.
 
2018-09-12 11:07:30 AM  
That poor dog.
 
2018-09-12 11:08:21 AM  
It's a mitzvah!
 
2018-09-12 11:08:37 AM  

Farce-Side: Man I wish I had a slim jim.


Read that in Homer's voice.
 
2018-09-12 11:09:38 AM  
i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:10:09 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:10:17 AM  
78.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:10:45 AM  

cowgirl toffee: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x645]


Dammit, Fark is rejecting my animated gifs
 
2018-09-12 11:11:18 AM  
At least now he can afford to replace the carpets.

/I can't imagine what slim Jims do to a dog's digestive system.
 
2018-09-12 11:11:21 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:11:40 AM  

George_Spelvin: "Was worth"?  What's it worth now?


It was cashed in so........not as much.
 
2018-09-12 11:11:43 AM  

George_Spelvin: "Was worth"?  What's it worth now?


$6.7 million according to the article.
 
2018-09-12 11:11:50 AM  
still having a mortgage at 73?
 
2018-09-12 11:11:51 AM  
Ah the illusion that we can just stumble into riches.

God, our society is farked up.
 
2018-09-12 11:12:12 AM  
Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!
 
2018-09-12 11:14:04 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:14:31 AM  

cowgirl toffee: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x645]


I ate at the bar in the Marriott in Crystal City with him and the Hulkster.  They look exactly like they do when performing.  I half expected one of them to put a sleeper hold on me or break a chair over my back.
 
2018-09-12 11:15:34 AM  
FTH:buys a lottery ticket that was worth $10 million

So what is it worth now?  Was their a "Prize void if bought with slim jims" clause?
 
2018-09-12 11:16:08 AM  

reactiongifs.comView Full Size
Fano: cowgirl toffee: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x645]

Dammit, Fark is rejecting my animated gifs

 
2018-09-12 11:17:46 AM  
Now he can afford a Girthy Jim.
 
2018-09-12 11:17:59 AM  

Diogenes: cowgirl toffee: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x645]

I ate at the bar in the Marriott in Crystal City with him and the Hulkster.  They look exactly like they do when performing.  I half expected one of them to put a sleeper hold on me or break a chair over my back.


Sounds like fun.  :)

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:19:07 AM  

Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!


Well they're certainly not fit for human consumption, as you'll discover if you ever get proper beef sticks from a butcher shop.
 
2018-09-12 11:20:20 AM  
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2018-09-12 11:21:43 AM  

pdieten: Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!

Well they're certainly not fit for human consumption, as you'll discover if you ever get proper beef sticks from a butcher shop.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:22:46 AM  

Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!


Lazy pet owners. The worst. I hope his dog poops that shiat all over his new penthouse suite.
 
2018-09-12 11:29:01 AM  
Don't think a $30 lottery ticket is an impulse buy for a 73-year-old.  I think he went to buy the ticket and just happened to buy the snack for the dog.
 
2018-09-12 11:34:19 AM  
Lotsa Fat Jim shaming in this thread...
 
2018-09-12 11:42:26 AM  
That's cheating! Ask any rich person, wealth is only legitimate when it's an accident of birth.
 
2018-09-12 11:46:16 AM  

big pig peaches: At least now he can afford to replace the carpets.

/I can't imagine what slim Jims do to a dog's digestive system.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-09-12 11:48:17 AM  

whidbey: Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!

Lazy pet owners. The worst. I hope his dog poops that shiat all over his new penthouse suite.


Actually, it's closer to what dogs should eat than a lot of pet food and better for your dog than most dog treats.  When my dog got so old that he had trouble chewing dry food, I started feeding him mostly hot dogs and chicken strips and beef sticks and he thrived.  At least as much as a dog that age can thrive; he was nearly blind, deaf, incontinent and had lower spine degeneration, but happy and otherwise in excellent health.  Your dog wants meat.  His favorite was baked chicken thighs, chopped up into small pieces and served in all the juices.  Feed your dog real meat.
 
2018-09-12 11:49:22 AM  
And just 'cause it's funny:

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2018-09-12 11:50:25 AM  

Priapetic: And just 'cause it's funny:

[78.media.tumblr.com image 850x1062]


OMG that face!!!  What a sweetie.
 
TWX
2018-09-12 11:51:46 AM  

alechemist: Now his dog wants steak.


Hell, his dog wants prime rib.
 
2018-09-12 11:57:25 AM  

alechemist: Now his dog wants steak.


Half the winnings should be converted from cash into steaks and biatches
 
2018-09-12 11:58:01 AM  

Priapetic: And just 'cause it's funny:

[78.media.tumblr.com image 850x1062]


Not really funny, given the dog's behavior. It's sounds like  the owner is either to lazy or busy to have a dog.
/ Dogs need to be walked not jailed for  their human's stupidity.
 
2018-09-12 12:13:47 PM  
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"You can't feed a dog Slim Jims" !
 
2018-09-12 12:16:43 PM  

guestguy: pdieten: Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!

Well they're certainly not fit for human consumption, as you'll discover if you ever get proper beef sticks from a butcher shop.

[i.imgur.com image 250x342]


I'm confused. Are you saying that Slim Jims taste good? Because if you are, then no. You have no idea what you're missing.
 
2018-09-12 12:30:48 PM  

pdieten: guestguy: pdieten: Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!

Well they're certainly not fit for human consumption, as you'll discover if you ever get proper beef sticks from a butcher shop.

[i.imgur.com image 250x342]

I'm confused. Are you saying that Slim Jims taste good? Because if you are, then no. You have no idea what you're missing.


Salt and fat?
 
2018-09-12 01:06:41 PM  

cowgirl toffee: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x645]


Came here for this, leaving very satisfied.
 
2018-09-12 01:55:49 PM  

whidbey: pdieten: guestguy: pdieten: Miss5280: Oh my god why would you ever buy SlimJim's for a dog?????  that's horrible!

Well they're certainly not fit for human consumption, as you'll discover if you ever get proper beef sticks from a butcher shop.

[i.imgur.com image 250x342]

I'm confused. Are you saying that Slim Jims taste good? Because if you are, then no. You have no idea what you're missing.

Salt and fat?


And real beef and spices and tasty, tasty hardwood smoke. Slim Jims are garbage compared to landjaeger or sticks made by a local butcher. Just thinking about it made me hungry and I went up to the House of Homemade Sausage for a pound of mild sticks and a little smoked trout to enjoy over the next couple days. *drool*
 
2018-09-12 02:10:47 PM  

George_Spelvin: "Was worth"?  What's it worth now?


Lottery winnings are taxable. Also, they usually give you a choice: lump sum (reduced) or monthly installments, large provided you live long enough.

Thus a pot of $10,000,000 rapidly becomes $5,000,000 when the tax man is done with it, and even less when it is taken in a lump sum up front. If taken in monthly installments and saved or invested, it will take a while to reach $10,000,000 again, and they will be deflated future dollars at that time, so less than $10,000,000 net, still.

Brantgoose. Answering rhetorical questions that do not require an answer sine 1969. Well, thereabouts. I was a child but a know-it-all smart ass child.
 
2018-09-12 02:13:31 PM  
Actually, the top tax bracket is probably about 30-35% depending on variables. It depends on where you live, your pre-lottery income and tax-situation, and so forth, such as how you spend it. Some items are taxed more heavily in some places. Spending it on more lottery tickets, Las Vegas trips and booze and cigarettes and drugs is not a good idea. A lot of lottery winners end up bigger losers after a spree of some months or years.
 
2018-09-12 02:32:32 PM  
And when I buy Slim Jims, the only thing I get is a towel to bite down on when my colon tries to turn itself inside out in the middle of the night.
 
2018-09-12 02:38:19 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

The inspiration for Slim Jims...
 
2018-09-12 02:54:05 PM  

Sandy Duncan's eyeball: And when I buy Slim Jims, the only thing I get is a towel to bite down on when my colon tries to turn itself inside out in the middle of the night.


Which, paradoxically, you no longer need, because you didn't get the Slim Jims...
 
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