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(Texas Monthly)   Ted Cruz *accuses* Democrats of promising heaping portions of beef and cheese - a sure fire message that will send the voters running   ( texasmonthly.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Triple Meat Whataburger, Hamburger, Texas, Liberalism, Texian, Texan, Meat Whataburger liberal, Liberalism worldwide  
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2408 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Aug 2018 at 1:44 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-08-10 12:53:16 PM  
As an actual Whataburger liberal, I am horrified and offended that Ted Cruz even knows we exist.
 
2018-08-10 01:01:23 PM  
"Unlike the spicy ketchup, when Texans unwrap the O'Rourke packaging, they are definitely not going to like what they see underneath. He's like a Triple Meat Whataburger liberal who is out of touch with Texas values."

Maybe it's because I'm not some fancy Harvard debate team guy like Ted Cruz, but I have no farking clue what that insult is even supposed to mean.
 
2018-08-10 01:12:18 PM  

Sgt Otter: "Unlike the spicy ketchup, when Texans unwrap the O'Rourke packaging, they are definitely not going to like what they see underneath. He's like a Triple Meat Whataburger liberal who is out of touch with Texas values."

Maybe it's because I'm not some fancy Harvard debate team guy like Ted Cruz, but I have no farking clue what that insult is even supposed to mean.


I'm thinking he basically means "big fat liberal" but is invoking a popular Texas-born burger chain as if to say, "See?  I know what Whataburger is, I'm more Texan and down-to-earth than Beto is and can use it in a confusing metaphor."
 
2018-08-10 01:13:52 PM  
The man shut down the United States government just so he could read Green Eggs and Ham.

For the love of God Texas, he's an effete snob... He's everything you hate about the Liebral Democraps only he's pretending to be a Conservative just to have your Senate seat.

Wake the f*ck up. Give that Betelgeuse guy a chance.
 
2018-08-10 01:16:27 PM  

NewportBarGuy: The man shut down the United States government just so he could read Green Eggs and Ham.

For the love of God Texas, he's an effete snob... He's everything you hate about the Liebral Democraps only he's pretending to be a Conservative just to have your Senate seat.

Wake the f*ck up. Give that Betelgeuse guy a chance.


Numerous people have said that when he was at Harvard Law School, he refused to even speak to people who didn't get their undergraduate degree from an Ivy League school.
 
2018-08-10 01:19:09 PM  
Tough words, coming from a ham.
 
2018-08-10 01:29:33 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 01:32:11 PM  
Cuban-Canadian says what?
 
2018-08-10 01:47:18 PM  
Could someone explain how saying your opponent is like a triple patty hamburger is an attack?  Especially given not only American appetites in general, but Texan ones in particular?

It would have made more sense if Cruz had said "He's like a triple meat Whataburger, but with the spicy ketchup replaced with dijon mustard."
 
2018-08-10 01:48:07 PM  
I accuse Ted Cruz with being a moron. I further accuse Donald Trump of not being able to sell red meat and booze to Americans.
 
2018-08-10 01:48:14 PM  
Isn't meat the point of a burger?
 
2018-08-10 01:48:27 PM  
What does Ted Cruz know about Texas values?  He never drank water out of a hoofprint.
 
2018-08-10 01:49:13 PM  
Deport this asshole.
 
2018-08-10 01:49:26 PM  
Love for the Triple Meat Whataburger is one of the few things that unites all Texans regardless of ideology, creed, or college football allegiance. I bet even the farking vegans would love them.

Rafael Cruz doesn't understand Texas if he compares his opponent to a Triple Meat Whataburger.
 
2018-08-10 01:49:47 PM  
For no reason, really, Ted Cruz lighting a bong...

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 01:50:15 PM  
one day, once you're been stopped from whatever the fark you think you're doing now, you should try a zinger, ted
 
TWX
2018-08-10 01:50:46 PM  

EL EM: What does Ted Cruz know about Texas values?  He never drank water out of a hoofprint.


I would be rather concerned that the liquid contained within a hoofprint was actually water, or something else.
 
2018-08-10 01:51:06 PM  
Should've called a "tofu eating vegan soyboy" instead. That would've been more up their alley.

Beto should in his next ad, be seen eating a triple cheeseburger and look right at the camera with a shiat eating grin, go "Damn straight, Ted. I love a Texas cheeseburger, don't you?"
 
2018-08-10 01:51:40 PM  
The response seems like a good-natured jab-until you try to parse what it actually means. Then the message turns cryptic.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 01:51:41 PM  
So, he's a massive cheeseburger? Tell us more, Ted Cruz. Is he for affordable housing, healthcare and congressional accountability phrased in such a manner that THAT sounds like a bad thing?
 
2018-08-10 01:52:55 PM  
Ted Cruz only offers truckloads of bullshiat.
 
2018-08-10 01:53:13 PM  
Ted Cruz can only dream about being as popular in Texas as Whataburger.
 
2018-08-10 01:53:56 PM  
i0.wp.comView Full Size

First of all, Rafa, yes, Beto's election campaign signage looks a lot like Whataburger's spicy ketchup packs. But you know what? That Spicy Ketchup is tasty and different, and nothing at all like the boring Heinz ketchup that every other place carries, and it's the reason why I go whataburger over other boring ass multinational fast food chains. A fitting analogy for your campaign too, people are tired of you and your boring ass shtick, Rafa.

Also, are you seriously talking smack over a triple whataburger? Those things are delicious, and unlike you, is a genuine Texan article and a national treasure. Go back to farking McDonalds and get a piece of bread instead of meat like the Big Mac has, you farking Canadian hoser loser.
 
2018-08-10 01:55:33 PM  
"He's like a Triple Meat Whataburger"

...says the Nothing Burger
 
2018-08-10 01:55:44 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Cuban-Canadian says what?


Cuban American says whataburger?
 
2018-08-10 01:55:52 PM  
I've never had a Whataburger. I have, however, had many a Thatsaburger?
 
2018-08-10 01:55:55 PM  
You liberal humons and your burgers of ham! Do you not understand the nutritional value of these burgers of ham is like that of the gravity on Alpha-Xantria! Ah ah ah!
 
2018-08-10 01:56:10 PM  

EL EM: What does Ted Cruz know about Texas values?  He never drank water out of a hoofprint.


farked a dogie?
 
2018-08-10 01:56:12 PM  
Cuban Canadian.

Dammit
 
2018-08-10 01:56:39 PM  
Beto's wife and children like him and he isn't seen as a disappointment by his murderous commie father
 
2018-08-10 01:56:52 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Cuban-Canadian says what?


Cubadian.
 
2018-08-10 01:57:05 PM  
Whataburger, as a business, has a very conservative personality, though they don't have a reputation of crapping on liberal priorities like Chic-fil-a or Hobby Lobby.

img.fark.netView Full Size

This window sticker shows up on each location, and they sell shirts with it.

I have no idea what Cruz's campaign lackies thought they were doing with this attempted comeback.
 
2018-08-10 01:58:36 PM  
If there's one thing I know about Texas voters, it's that they're all vegetarians.
 
2018-08-10 01:58:54 PM  
Does this make Ted a nothingburger?
 
2018-08-10 01:58:55 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 02:02:05 PM  
OMFG I miss Whataburger.  They had a brief run in the Tampa Bay area 8-10 years ago and then abruptly shuttered every store at the same time.
 
2018-08-10 02:02:32 PM  

Sgt Otter: "Unlike the spicy ketchup, when Texans unwrap the O'Rourke packaging, they are definitely not going to like what they see underneath. He's like a Triple Meat Whataburger liberal who is out of touch with Texas values."

Maybe it's because I'm not some fancy Harvard debate team guy like Ted Cruz, but I have no farking clue what that insult is even supposed to mean.


Triple-meat Whataburger sounds like Texas values if I ever heard of them.
 
2018-08-10 02:02:53 PM  

AntiM: Does this make Ted a nothingburger?


His statement seems to indicate that he is the opposite of a Triple Whattabuger. So....he's tofu, I guess.
 
2018-08-10 02:03:14 PM  
I am assured by my research team that Texas humans are offended by foreign foods like this "hamburger".  Pemmican and maize are foodstuffs that they find agreeable.
 
2018-08-10 02:04:52 PM  

Wessoman: boring Heinz ketchup


Shut your whore mouth.
 
2018-08-10 02:05:56 PM  
I have been to Texas no less than a dozen times. I can never get to a Whataburger. Something always gets farked up. One of these days....
 
2018-08-10 02:07:52 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: I have been to Texas no less than a dozen times. I can never get to a Whataburger. Something always gets farked up. One of these days....


I went to one in Mississippi.  It was pretty good.  Not mind blowing, but definitely above McDs and Burger King.
 
2018-08-10 02:07:55 PM  
being relatable isn't what go you elected, you sycophantic blobfish. being conservative in Texas, having a vaguely hispanic last name but looking white, and thumping a bible is what got you elected. your zingers are bad. the school system uses your picture to complement their abstinence-only sex education. you are not and never have been a populist. stop goddamn trying.
 
2018-08-10 02:08:41 PM  
fark you Ted Cruz, your father claimed political asylum to stay in the US, to bad you do not want anyone else to do it, or your commander in queef hates chain migration, but he let his whore wife do it.
 
2018-08-10 02:09:25 PM  

tricycleracer: OMFG I miss Whataburger.  They had a brief run in the Tampa Bay area 8-10 years ago and then abruptly shuttered every store at the same time.


My friends and I made a detour to stop at one of those when we drove from Kansas to Miami for the Orange Bowl. Worth it.

And Kansas actually won that Orange Bowl! A football game!
 
2018-08-10 02:09:48 PM  
I would laugh so goddamn hard if the Beto campaign responded with "Yup, Beto's the best damn thing on the menu and Ted's a half cooked tofu burger in a lettuce leaf bun."
 
2018-08-10 02:09:52 PM  

El Dudereno: Sgt Otter: "Unlike the spicy ketchup, when Texans unwrap the O'Rourke packaging, they are definitely not going to like what they see underneath. He's like a Triple Meat Whataburger liberal who is out of touch with Texas values."

Maybe it's because I'm not some fancy Harvard debate team guy like Ted Cruz, but I have no farking clue what that insult is even supposed to mean.

Triple-meat Whataburger sounds like Texas values if I ever heard of them.


"Triple-meat? What kinda goddamn pussy stops at triple-meat?"
 
2018-08-10 02:11:09 PM  
Every time I've moved out of Arizona, I've ended up really missing Whataburger.  Not that they're worth living in AZ for, but damn I could go for some of their food right now.
 
2018-08-10 02:12:38 PM  

Jormungandr: I would laugh so goddamn hard if the Beto campaign responded with "Yup, Beto's the best damn thing on the menu and Ted's a half cooked tofu burger in a lettuce leaf bun."


"slathered in 100% pure Canadian maple syrup"
 
2018-08-10 02:13:18 PM  
Just chiming in on the whataburger love.  The first time I got my wife to try Whataburger she was less than impressed.  I had to think long and hard about where the relationship was headed.
 
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