Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   "I have 18 year-old twin stepdaughters who are currently staying with us before college. One of them was nauseated and vomited and said she didn't think she was pregnant. Is it my job to discuss birth control with them?"   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Dear Care, Want, coed sleepovers, frequent coed sleepovers, school coed sleepovers, Parenting Facebook group, 18-year-old twin stepdaughters, birth control  
•       •       •

465 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Aug 2018 at 10:35 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-08-10 09:52:52 AM  
Uhhhh I'm not touching that with someone else's 10 foot pole.
 
2018-08-10 09:57:56 AM  
If she is pregnant, discussing birth control wouldn't change that.
 
2018-08-10 10:01:47 AM  
The fact that she doesn't think she's pregnant means there's a possibility that she is pregnant.
 
2018-08-10 10:03:37 AM  
You need to explain that in order to remain twins, the other stepdaughter needs to get knocked up, too.  It's science.
 
2018-08-10 10:06:24 AM  
"I have 18 year-old twin stepdaughters who are currently staying with us before college."

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 10:07:04 AM  
Well, back up a bit.  Do you like the feel of condoms?
 
2018-08-10 10:08:26 AM  
Explaining the birds and bees to your nubile, young (but over 18!) twin stepdaughters.  Now where have I seen something like this before?
 
2018-08-10 10:12:03 AM  
Let me do it.
 
2018-08-10 10:12:05 AM  
Is it yours?
 
2018-08-10 10:20:40 AM  
i.cdn.turner.comView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 10:31:07 AM  
No, you need to send us pictures.
 
2018-08-10 10:36:32 AM  
Advice column or penthouse letter? You decide.
 
2018-08-10 10:38:40 AM  
How can I explain this to you? Actually, a demonstration is in order. I'll be right over.
 
2018-08-10 10:42:46 AM  
Dear Penthouse Forum:

You'll never believe this, but..
 
2018-08-10 10:46:32 AM  
Monitor the pad supply
 
2018-08-10 10:47:08 AM  
I always enjoy Prudie letters where butt stuff is a viable answer.
 
2018-08-10 10:47:38 AM  
Question. How does the word "grandma" sound to you? This is important.
 
2018-08-10 10:51:57 AM  
I know people like to talk about how these letters are made up, but the one following the Penthouse Forum scneario is just mind-boggling.

"My kids just started school and are sick all the time.  Is this normal?"

How freaking stupid to you have to be to not know in advance that daycare/nursery school/kindergarden are basically level 4 hot zones?  Yes, your kids are going to be sick 24x7, because every kid is and half the parents will bring their snot-blowing, puking, lice-infested disease vector to school and drop them off because they can't miss work for the 14th day this month to stay home with their sick kid.

Welcome to parenthood.
 
2018-08-10 10:53:07 AM  
Dear Penthouse...
 
2018-08-10 11:03:38 AM  

BMFPitt: I always enjoy Prudie letters where butt stuff is a viable answer.


This guy gets it.
 
2018-08-10 11:07:33 AM  
You're the step-mother.  Tell the dad to do his job.  I've had this talk with my daughter.
 
2018-08-10 11:19:38 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: I know people like to talk about how these letters are made up, but the one following the Penthouse Forum scneario is just mind-boggling.

"My kids just started school and are sick all the time.  Is this normal?"

How freaking stupid to you have to be to not know in advance that daycare/nursery school/kindergarden are basically level 4 hot zones?  Yes, your kids are going to be sick 24x7, because every kid is and half the parents will bring their snot-blowing, puking, lice-infested disease vector to school and drop them off because they can't miss work for the 14th day this month to stay home with their sick kid.

Welcome to parenthood.


The entire purpose of kindergarten is to expose your kid to as many pathogens as possible.
 
2018-08-10 11:23:28 AM  

Gleeman: Glockenspiel Hero: I know people like to talk about how these letters are made up, but the one following the Penthouse Forum scneario is just mind-boggling.

"My kids just started school and are sick all the time.  Is this normal?"

How freaking stupid to you have to be to not know in advance that daycare/nursery school/kindergarden are basically level 4 hot zones?  Yes, your kids are going to be sick 24x7, because every kid is and half the parents will bring their snot-blowing, puking, lice-infested disease vector to school and drop them off because they can't miss work for the 14th day this month to stay home with their sick kid.

Welcome to parenthood.

The entire purpose of kindergarten is to expose your kid to as many pathogens as possible.


Because you didn't let them play in the dirt and mud when they were toddlers.
 
2018-08-10 11:31:43 AM  
No, you should definitely just pretend it never happened.

In a few months, you should also point to her belly and comment on how fat she's getting. "Lay off the beer, lardo! Ha ha ha!"
 
2018-08-10 11:40:05 AM  

dionysusaur: Gleeman: Glockenspiel Hero: I know people like to talk about how these letters are made up, but the one following the Penthouse Forum scneario is just mind-boggling.

"My kids just started school and are sick all the time.  Is this normal?"

How freaking stupid to you have to be to not know in advance that daycare/nursery school/kindergarden are basically level 4 hot zones?  Yes, your kids are going to be sick 24x7, because every kid is and half the parents will bring their snot-blowing, puking, lice-infested disease vector to school and drop them off because they can't miss work for the 14th day this month to stay home with their sick kid.

Welcome to parenthood.

The entire purpose of kindergarten is to expose your kid to as many pathogens as possible.

Because you didn't let them play in the dirt and mud when they were toddlers.


You'd be incorrect.

To be pedantic, exposure to other kids viri.
 
2018-08-10 11:51:16 AM  

labman: You need to explain that in order to remain twins, the other stepdaughter needs to get knocked up, too.  It's science.


This doesn't apply if they're fraternal (sororal?) twins.  But for identical twins, it's very important. See, whatever you do to one of them gets split evenly between the two (like if you smack one, the other feels it). If one gets knocked up and you don't knock up the other one, they each get only half-pragnant and babby only gets half-formed in each, which, obviously, is pretty horrific. Or at least I'm pretty sure that's how it works, I'm not quite sure about the details.
 
2018-08-10 11:58:40 AM  
Yes.
 
2018-08-10 12:02:47 PM  

NewWorldDan: You're the step-mother.  Tell the dad to do his job.  I've had this talk with my daughter.


I have three daughters.  If they're 18 years old and you haven't had this talk with them, you're about five years too late.

The conversation is simple:

"Sex is gonna happen.  That's OK.  You own your body and 'no' is a perfectly acceptable answer.  Boys are stupid and easy to replace, so it's unnecessary to get all wrapped up in one if he's asking you for things you don't think you're ready for.   But if you are ready for that, then never, ever, ever be ashamed or afraid to protect yourself.   There is a Planned Parenthood right down the street and I'm more than happy to take you there.   If you don't want to talk to me about it that's OK.   Talk to your doctor.  Talk to your aunts, or a teacher.    I just want to know that you are protecting yourself.  So long as that is the case, I don't want to know any more about it."
 
2018-08-10 12:07:59 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
"Twins, Max."
 
2018-08-10 12:36:39 PM  
The co-ed sleepover thing always gets me. I can kind of understand why it makes some people uncomfortable, but FFS. Your kid is either already having sex (during the day!) or not. I had plenty of these, and it was always just a group of friends staying up too late watching movies and smoking pot, without having to leave before bus service ended or having a parent pick them at 2 am.
 
2018-08-10 12:37:53 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Uhhhh I'm not touching that with someone else's 10 foot pole.


I did a quick rtfa and saw the writer was portrayed as a male.

Sorry dude, you're guilty of a sex crime just by virtue of having a penis. Turn yourself in and stop trying to hide your patriarchy behind concern for others.
 
2018-08-10 12:45:30 PM  
Well it sounds like such a conversation with atleast one of the twins is already too late.
 
2018-08-10 12:49:00 PM  
Let me go back through my browser history.  I think I remember seeing some helpful instructional videos about this on Pornhub.
 
2018-08-10 12:56:54 PM  
Ha! I yelled at my step-kid when she said she wasn't taking the pill anymore. Her reasoning was that she didn't have a boyfriend, so she wasn't having sex, no need for the pill. I told her you aren't having sex until you are. Got an eye roll from her and 2 months later she had herself a little scare. She got back on that pill pretty damn quick.
 
2018-08-10 12:56:57 PM  

pdxbarista: The co-ed sleepover thing always gets me. I can kind of understand why it makes some people uncomfortable, but FFS. Your kid is either already having sex (during the day!) or not. I had plenty of these, and it was always just a group of friends staying up too late watching movies and smoking pot, without having to leave before bus service ended or having a parent pick them at 2 am.


Pretty much this. All my sexually active high school friends snuck out of the house. No one ever openly went to coed sleepovers for sex.
 
2018-08-10 12:57:18 PM  

BizarreMan: The fact that she doesn't think she's pregnant means there's a possibility that she is pregnant.


In fact, by ER doc rules it pretty much guarantees it.

Or she was hung over. On creampies.
 
2018-08-10 01:05:42 PM  

ltnor: Ha! I yelled at my step-kid when she said she wasn't taking the pill anymore. Her reasoning was that she didn't have a boyfriend, so she wasn't having sex, no need for the pill. I told her you aren't having sex until you are. Got an eye roll from her and 2 months later she had herself a little scare. She got back on that pill pretty damn quick.


Also, doesn't it take a few weeks to become effective?
 
2018-08-10 01:07:56 PM  

BMFPitt: ltnor: Ha! I yelled at my step-kid when she said she wasn't taking the pill anymore. Her reasoning was that she didn't have a boyfriend, so she wasn't having sex, no need for the pill. I told her you aren't having sex until you are. Got an eye roll from her and 2 months later she had herself a little scare. She got back on that pill pretty damn quick.

Also, doesn't it take a few weeks to become effective?


And you're hyperfertile the first 3 or4 months after you quit.
 
2018-08-10 01:09:44 PM  
http://www.reddit.com/r/twingirls NSFW
 
2018-08-10 01:20:43 PM  

dionysusaur: And you're hyperfertile the first 3 or4 months after you quit.


I have some friends who has a honeymoon baby that way.
 
2018-08-10 01:34:12 PM  
DNRTFA

If male...it's their mother's problem. Opening your mouth will trigger the foot reflex so far down your throat it will never come out.

If female...It's still their mother's problem (assuming she's still in the picture). They may trust you, they might not...but it is a tar pit. Proceed at your own peril.
 
2018-08-10 02:27:48 PM  

psychosis_inducing: pdxbarista: The co-ed sleepover thing always gets me. I can kind of understand why it makes some people uncomfortable, but FFS. Your kid is either already having sex (during the day!) or not. I had plenty of these, and it was always just a group of friends staying up too late watching movies and smoking pot, without having to leave before bus service ended or having a parent pick them at 2 am.

Pretty much this. All my sexually active high school friends snuck out of the house. No one ever openly went to coed sleepovers for sex.


Yeah, providing opportunity is nothing to worry about. When put in a position where they can make bad decisions, teenagers never will.

/eyeroll
 
2018-08-10 03:14:26 PM  

Carousel Beast: Yeah, providing opportunity is nothing to worry about. When put in a position where they can make bad decisions, teenagers never will.

/eyeroll


My point was that unless you're hovering over your teenager 24 hours a day, they already have the opportunity.
Full disclosure: my kids aren't teens, and I may end up changing my mind. But considering my goal is to raise functional adults, I try to equip them with the tools they need and let them fail at times.
Different families have different rules. And that's totally great! More life lessons!
 
2018-08-10 04:23:03 PM  

psychosis_inducing: pdxbarista: The co-ed sleepover thing always gets me. I can kind of understand why it makes some people uncomfortable, but FFS. Your kid is either already having sex (during the day!) or not. I had plenty of these, and it was always just a group of friends staying up too late watching movies and smoking pot, without having to leave before bus service ended or having a parent pick them at 2 am.

Pretty much this. All my sexually active high school friends snuck out of the house. No one ever openly went to coed sleepovers for sex.


Hell you might as well get them hotel rooms.
 
2018-08-10 06:11:48 PM  

Rent Party: NewWorldDan: You're the step-mother.  Tell the dad to do his job.  I've had this talk with my daughter.

I have three daughters.  If they're 18 years old and you haven't had this talk with them, you're about five years too late.

The conversation is simple:

"Sex is gonna happen.  That's OK.  You own your body and 'no' is a perfectly acceptable answer.  Boys are stupid and easy to replace, so it's unnecessary to get all wrapped up in one if he's asking you for things you don't think you're ready for.   But if you are ready for that, then never, ever, ever be ashamed or afraid to protect yourself.   There is a Planned Parenthood right down the street and I'm more than happy to take you there.   If you don't want to talk to me about it that's OK.   Talk to your doctor.  Talk to your aunts, or a teacher.    I just want to know that you are protecting yourself.  So long as that is the case, I don't want to know any more about it."


Smartest answer. Thread done.
 
2018-08-11 03:10:47 AM  

Fano: psychosis_inducing: pdxbarista: The co-ed sleepover thing always gets me. I can kind of understand why it makes some people uncomfortable, but FFS. Your kid is either already having sex (during the day!) or not. I had plenty of these, and it was always just a group of friends staying up too late watching movies and smoking pot, without having to leave before bus service ended or having a parent pick them at 2 am.

Pretty much this. All my sexually active high school friends snuck out of the house. No one ever openly went to coed sleepovers for sex.

Hell you might as well get them hotel rooms.


That is right. Having them in someone's house under parental supervision is exactly the same as getting them a room at the nearest motel that rents by the hour.
 
2018-08-11 09:03:14 AM  

psychosis_inducing: Fano: psychosis_inducing: pdxbarista: The co-ed sleepover thing always gets me. I can kind of understand why it makes some people uncomfortable, but FFS. Your kid is either already having sex (during the day!) or not. I had plenty of these, and it was always just a group of friends staying up too late watching movies and smoking pot, without having to leave before bus service ended or having a parent pick them at 2 am.

Pretty much this. All my sexually active high school friends snuck out of the house. No one ever openly went to coed sleepovers for sex.

Hell you might as well get them hotel rooms.

That is right. Having them in someone's house under parental supervision is exactly the same as getting them a room at the nearest motel that rents by the hour.


Oh, so you like to watch.
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report