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(Deslidefied)   Oh, when you eat out, remember these little etiquette rules   ( deslide.clusterfake.net) divider line
    More: Interesting, image URLs, waiter, slides, phone, table  
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689 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Aug 2018 at 9:05 AM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-08-10 08:00:52 AM  
this is what came to mind with that headline subby

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 08:06:23 AM  
Do people not know these things already? Do they really need a slideshow?
 
2018-08-10 08:09:54 AM  
"it's simply common courtesy to lick it before you stick it."
 
2018-08-10 08:10:40 AM  
They didn't even wash their hands before they started eating.  What a bunch of filthy animals.
 
2018-08-10 08:13:41 AM  

naughtyrev: Do people not know these things already? Do they really need a slideshow?


A guy at my church (former drug addict with all the tact and impulse control of a toddler) always calls out the servers by name.  Very loudly, I may add.
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2018-08-10 08:34:04 AM  
Slide #14: There's always room for Jello
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 08:42:22 AM  
TIPPING THREAD!
 
2018-08-10 08:51:51 AM  
11. Do not taunt the dynamite monkey.
 
2018-08-10 08:52:55 AM  
Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.
 
2018-08-10 09:13:19 AM  

RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.


I have to do it if I'm wearing jeans. I spent many years waitressing, while wearing jeans, and I would just wipe my hands on my pants. It's a weird muscle memory that makes me look like a heathen.
 
2018-08-10 09:16:50 AM  

RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.


I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.
 
2018-08-10 09:17:48 AM  
media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 09:21:10 AM  

#2: Slide #14: There's always room for Jello (with roofies!)
[img.fark.net image 461x345]


fify.
 
2018-08-10 09:22:09 AM  
That's a lot of rules just for Tilted Kilt
 
2018-08-10 09:33:32 AM  

MrBallou: RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.

I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.


I don't think the napkin on the lap is about you dropping food, it's about not having something you wipe your hands and mouth with sitting on the table next to your food.
 
2018-08-10 09:34:16 AM  

MrBallou: RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.

I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.


It's better than having the napkin sitting on the table
 
2018-08-10 09:40:11 AM  

naughtyrev: Do people not know these things already? Do they really need a slideshow?


jeezus you ain't kidding.

in sf it's literally impossible to get seated unless your whole party is present, thanks to chronic laggers.  "our last person is parking right now" = "we have four more people just leaving their house in Livermore".
 
2018-08-10 09:41:04 AM  
Since no one asked or cares, here's my take:

1. Proper Attire: Yeah, sure, why not? If that's a problem, just stick to casual places that aren't so pretentious.
2. Wait to be seated:  Terrible advice. The restaurant doesn't want a ton of people hanging around up front when they have seating ready for them, and if someone in your party couldn't be bothered to show up on time, screw them.
3. Don't take out your phone: Yeah, unless it's something super important (e.g., sick/dying family member) or you're in a casual setting, don't mess with the phone
4. Napkin-on-lap:  Is this one of those fancy places that uses the term "attire" and provides cloth napkins? Yep, do so. No, you don't have to wait for someone else to do it first. If it's a barbecue joint with paper napkins, those stay within easy reach on the table.
5. Wait for everyone to be served before you start eating: yeah, that's polite, unless someone sends a dish back. One other exception - restaurants that can't figure out how to get everyone's meal out at roughly the same time - you don't have to wait until your meal is cold because the restaurant didn't get someone else's order out in a timely fashion.
6. Don't call out to your waiter: Agreed, if you have decent wait staff that will notice you. If the wait staff ignores your signals, speak up.
7. Treat the wait staff with respect: Well, yeah. That's called not-being-a-complete-asshole.
8. Everyone should order the same number of courses: This is utterly stupid.
9. Hold your wine glass by the stem: Fark off, if I want to cradle it I'll do so.
10. Leave within 15 minutes of the end of your meal: Probably good advice. If it's busy or near closing time, then quicker is better. If it's not busy and you're not causing any problems for the restaurant by hanging around for a few minutes to finish a conversation, no one cares.
11. If you're paying the whole bill, tell the waiter in advance:  Err, no, just the opposite. If you're paying separately, request that up front. The only exception is if you are going to pay and expect others to object - then arrange things ahead of time.
12. Decide ahead of time how you're splitting the bill: Yeah, we already covered that.
13. Tip well:  For good service? Absolutely.
 
2018-08-10 09:43:04 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-10 09:47:22 AM  
Leave within 15 minutes of finishing your meal:

This isn't hard and fast. eKonkcovered it for the most part. But if you do sit for an extraordinarily long time after finishing your meal, you should increase the amount of your tip based on that time.
 
2018-08-10 10:13:45 AM  

MrBallou: RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.

I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.


You don't keep your napkin in your lap in case you drop food in your lap.  You keep your napkin in your lap so stays in your lap so it is close at hand without it sitting on the table.  The napkin is used to clean / dry the corners of your mouth (if one can't clear any errant sauce or food particles with a simple light dabbing, they are eating too messily and need to work on that.  One should not be dragging the napkin across ones whole face).

If you're fidgeting so much that a piece of cloth cannot remain in place atop your leg during the meal, you maybe shouldn't be eating at the type of restaurant where this sort of etiquette matters.  And any time you're getting up from your seat it's a simple matter to remember the napkin is there before you stand.
 
2018-08-10 10:16:05 AM  

SurfaceTension: Leave within 15 minutes of finishing your meal:

This isn't hard and fast. eKonkcovered it for the most part. But if you do sit for an extraordinarily long time after finishing your meal, you should increase the amount of your tip based on that time.


Or order an additional round of drinks
 
2018-08-10 10:23:09 AM  

PlaidJaguar: MrBallou: RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.

I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.

You don't keep your napkin in your lap in case you drop food in your lap.  You keep your napkin in your lap so stays in your lap so it is close at hand without it sitting on the table.  The napkin is used to clean / dry the corners of your mouth (if one can't clear any errant sauce or food particles with a simple light dabbing, they are eating too messily and need to work on that.  One should not be dragging the napkin across ones whole face).

If you're fidgeting so much that a piece of cloth cannot remain in place atop your leg during the meal, you maybe shouldn't be eating at the type of restaurant where this sort of etiquette matters.  And any time you're getting up from your seat it's a simple matter to remember the napkin is there before you stand.


The napkin on the lap is a dumb arbitrary rule prevalent in European etiquette. Elsewhere in the world, nobody cares whether the napkin is on the table or not.
 
2018-08-10 10:26:54 AM  
How about 'don't blow your damn nose at the table'? Nobody wants to hear mucus expelling from your nose while they eat. It's unbelievable to me how many people I've seen do this.
 
2018-08-10 10:28:22 AM  

RexTalionis: PlaidJaguar: MrBallou: RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.

I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.

You don't keep your napkin in your lap in case you drop food in your lap.  You keep your napkin in your lap so stays in your lap so it is close at hand without it sitting on the table.  The napkin is used to clean / dry the corners of your mouth (if one can't clear any errant sauce or food particles with a simple light dabbing, they are eating too messily and need to work on that.  One should not be dragging the napkin across ones whole face).

If you're fidgeting so much that a piece of cloth cannot remain in place atop your leg during the meal, you maybe shouldn't be eating at the type of restaurant where this sort of etiquette matters.  And any time you're getting up from your seat it's a simple matter to remember the napkin is there before you stand.

The napkin on the lap is a dumb arbitrary rule prevalent in European etiquette. Elsewhere in the world, nobody cares whether the napkin is on the table or not.


It's neither dumb nor arbitrary.

I don't want to see the collection of muck and crumbs that gathers in your napkin while I'm trying to enjoy my meal, and it's not actually a hardship to put your napkin on your lap instead of just dropping it on the table.
 
2018-08-10 10:32:15 AM  

PlaidJaguar: RexTalionis: PlaidJaguar: MrBallou: RexTalionis: Napkin on the lap feels outdated. Feels like you are telling me that you were never taught to eat neatly.

I have trouble with the napkin in the lap thing. It does suggest that you're expected to drop food on yourself, and what kind of slob are you?

Also, in the course of moving around during the meal, it's very easy to drop it to the floor. Then you have to pick it up and either use it dirty or make a big deal out of getting another.

You don't keep your napkin in your lap in case you drop food in your lap.  You keep your napkin in your lap so stays in your lap so it is close at hand without it sitting on the table.  The napkin is used to clean / dry the corners of your mouth (if one can't clear any errant sauce or food particles with a simple light dabbing, they are eating too messily and need to work on that.  One should not be dragging the napkin across ones whole face).

If you're fidgeting so much that a piece of cloth cannot remain in place atop your leg during the meal, you maybe shouldn't be eating at the type of restaurant where this sort of etiquette matters.  And any time you're getting up from your seat it's a simple matter to remember the napkin is there before you stand.

The napkin on the lap is a dumb arbitrary rule prevalent in European etiquette. Elsewhere in the world, nobody cares whether the napkin is on the table or not.

It's neither dumb nor arbitrary.

I don't want to see the collection of muck and crumbs that gathers in your napkin while I'm trying to enjoy my meal, and it's not actually a hardship to put your napkin on your lap instead of just dropping it on the table.


It's arbitrary. Can you really articulate a reason beyond that you were taught to do it this way why a napkin on the lap is somehow superior to a napkin on the table?
 
2018-08-10 10:35:32 AM  

RexTalionis: Can you really articulate a reason beyond that you were taught to do it this way why a napkin on the lap is somehow superior to a napkin on the table?


You literally quoted the reasoning I articulated.

PlaidJaguar: I don't want to see the collection of muck and crumbs that gathers in your napkin while I'm trying to enjoy my meal, and it's not actually a hardship to put your napkin on your lap instead of just dropping it on the table.


Anything else you need me to post a second time?
 
2018-08-10 10:35:44 AM  
Aesthetics of dining is also arbitrary and cultural. Some cultures value slurping (ramen, for instance), others do not. Don't act like the way you were taught is somehow the right way and not just some stupid random outdated artifact of cultural norms.
 
2018-08-10 10:41:00 AM  
eKonk: 9. Hold your wine glass by the stem: Fark off, if I want to cradle it I'll do so.

DRTFA, maybe this was covered, but the wine glass is called "stemware" for a reason.

Holding the glass by the stem keeps your hand from heating the wine.  Yes, temperature can be important.
 
2018-08-10 10:42:07 AM  

RexTalionis: Aesthetics of dining is also arbitrary and cultural. Some cultures value slurping (ramen, for instance), others do not. Don't act like the way you were taught is somehow the right way and not just some stupid random outdated artifact of cultural norms.


Everything is arbitrary.

Your complaining about napkins being in the lap is arbitrary and you're only doing it to conform to the current cultural norm of denigrating preexisting norms, so I dismiss your stupid random arbitrary complaint.
 
2018-08-10 10:47:04 AM  

PlaidJaguar: RexTalionis: Aesthetics of dining is also arbitrary and cultural. Some cultures value slurping (ramen, for instance), others do not. Don't act like the way you were taught is somehow the right way and not just some stupid random outdated artifact of cultural norms.

Everything is arbitrary.

Your complaining about napkins being in the lap is arbitrary and you're only doing it to conform to the current cultural norm of denigrating preexisting norms, so I dismiss your stupid random arbitrary complaint.


You were arguing that napkin on the lap is not arbitrary by arguing aesthetics, which is cultural (and inherently arbitrary).

Can you present a functional argument why napkin on the lap is better? An example of a functional argument in favor of napkin on the table include the fact that napkin is closer to the plate/diner's hands/mouth, which makes it easier to blot spills, wipe away drops of food or wiping the diner's mouth.

That's a functional argument. Arguing that it doesn't look nice is not a functional argument.
 
2018-08-10 10:49:53 AM  
I was expecting this to go to the usual tipping debate, not napkins.    Weird.

How about eating at a reasonable pace.  Don't shovel in your food so quickly that the rest of the table comments about it.  Also don't be super slow, either.
 
2018-08-10 10:57:58 AM  
The last large family dinner I went to was a shiatshow.  An inlaw (about 55 years old) spent the entire time with her face buried in FB on her phone, conjecturing how her niece's date was going and if she was getting laid.  She inserted some random crap about Millennials being clueless into the conversation as well.  My elderly dad ignored all of us, because he was pissed at FB lady.  He instead tried to become best friends with the waitress, and made the mistake of asking a very personal question.  The waitress responded with a story of how she was raised and raped in foster care.  The evil mother in law thought that was a good reason to argue against tipping the waitress.  FB lady's daughter (a millennial) chided her mother for having her face in the phone.  When we returned home, my dad and his wife had an elder rage fight about her raising rude children, and him flirting with waitresses.

I just watched the show.  Dinner etiquette rules are for the weak.

/I seemed to have lost my earlier version of this post, apologies if it shows up elsewhere.
 
2018-08-10 11:05:58 AM  
I'd like to add, don't critique the meal/ restaurant like you're doing their Michelin review.

Have been out with people who feel the need to pick apart every little thing about the food, presentation, service etc.  Not sure why they do this or are so miserable eating food prepared by others, but it is beyond aggravating.  I get if your glass or utensils are filthy or your food is cold, talk to your server. The ones who just look for things to biatch about are what's aggravating.

Even if you are an expert chef or professional food critic, I don't need to hear about the very minor difference in pink variations in your steak the whole damn meal.  If it's not a major issue, just shut up & let everyone enjoy their food.
 
2018-08-10 11:13:44 AM  

Cardinal Ximenez: I'd like to add, don't critique the meal/ restaurant like you're doing their Michelin review.

Have been out with people who feel the need to pick apart every little thing about the food, presentation, service etc.  Not sure why they do this or are so miserable eating food prepared by others, but it is beyond aggravating.  I get if your glass or utensils are filthy or your food is cold, talk to your server. The ones who just look for things to biatch about are what's aggravating.

Even if you are an expert chef or professional food critic, I don't need to hear about the very minor difference in pink variations in your steak the whole damn meal.  If it's not a major issue, just shut up & let everyone enjoy their food.


Yeah, people think they are writing food criticism dissertations on Yelp and it's just bullshiat.

I basically only review when the service and food is good and enjoyable, or when the service is abominable (like the time a group of friends and I went to a restaurant in a backwater part of upstate New York and the restaurant didn't bring the food for one of my friends and myself (the only non-whites in the group) until the others had already basically finished eating, even though we both ordered salads).
 
2018-08-10 11:22:23 AM  
I have relatives who go up to the bar, after we have all been seated, and buy drinks, which confuses the hell out of the wait staff.  If you were WAITING at the bar for your table, I think it's fine to take your drink to the table.  Wait staff expects that.  But buying drinks DURING the meal, instead of ordering them, seems to confuse everybody.
 
2018-08-10 12:14:02 PM  

RexTalionis: Cardinal Ximenez: I'd like to add, don't critique the meal/ restaurant like you're doing their Michelin review.

Have been out with people who feel the need to pick apart every little thing about the food, presentation, service etc.  Not sure why they do this or are so miserable eating food prepared by others, but it is beyond aggravating.  I get if your glass or utensils are filthy or your food is cold, talk to your server. The ones who just look for things to biatch about are what's aggravating.

Even if you are an expert chef or professional food critic, I don't need to hear about the very minor difference in pink variations in your steak the whole damn meal.  If it's not a major issue, just shut up & let everyone enjoy their food.

Yeah, people think they are writing food criticism dissertations on Yelp and it's just bullshiat.

I basically only review when the service and food is good and enjoyable, or when the service is abominable (like the time a group of friends and I went to a restaurant in a backwater part of upstate New York and the restaurant didn't bring the food for one of my friends and myself (the only non-whites in the group) until the others had already basically finished eating, even though we both ordered salads).


That is deserving of a poor review / complaint & zero tip.

Haven't experienced that, closest thing would be in TN, with my wife & daughter after a camping/ rafting trip we stopped to get some breakfast at a country place. I ordered an omelet with cut up fried chicken in it, since it was something different.

Other people were getting served before us & my wife who was the only non white in there was saying they were racist. She stopped the waitress & asked about our food & the waitress told her she didn't want to bring it out until her man's food was done (mine). So my wife amended them to sexist not racist.   I thought she was just trying to serve everyone at the same time, but I could see her point.

The fact that it was a cold wet morning didn't help her opinion I'm sure, but hadn't heard that one before that the family couldn't eat until the man did. Still not sure if that was the case or not, but the food was good at least.
 
2018-08-10 12:17:49 PM  

Cardinal Ximenez: RexTalionis: Cardinal Ximenez: I'd like to add, don't critique the meal/ restaurant like you're doing their Michelin review.

Have been out with people who feel the need to pick apart every little thing about the food, presentation, service etc.  Not sure why they do this or are so miserable eating food prepared by others, but it is beyond aggravating.  I get if your glass or utensils are filthy or your food is cold, talk to your server. The ones who just look for things to biatch about are what's aggravating.

Even if you are an expert chef or professional food critic, I don't need to hear about the very minor difference in pink variations in your steak the whole damn meal.  If it's not a major issue, just shut up & let everyone enjoy their food.

Yeah, people think they are writing food criticism dissertations on Yelp and it's just bullshiat.

I basically only review when the service and food is good and enjoyable, or when the service is abominable (like the time a group of friends and I went to a restaurant in a backwater part of upstate New York and the restaurant didn't bring the food for one of my friends and myself (the only non-whites in the group) until the others had already basically finished eating, even though we both ordered salads).

That is deserving of a poor review / complaint & zero tip.

Haven't experienced that, closest thing would be in TN, with my wife & daughter after a camping/ rafting trip we stopped to get some breakfast at a country place. I ordered an omelet with cut up fried chicken in it, since it was something different.

Other people were getting served before us & my wife who was the only non white in there was saying they were racist. She stopped the waitress & asked about our food & the waitress told her she didn't want to bring it out until her man's food was done (mine). So my wife amended them to sexist not racist.   I thought she was just trying to serve everyone at the same time, but I could see her point.

The fact that it was a cold wet morning didn't help her opinion I'm sure, but hadn't heard that one before that the family couldn't eat until the man did. Still not sure if that was the case or not, but the food was good at least.


Our food sucked, plus, 40 minutes was too long to wait for 2 half-assed chicken Caesar salads.

Meanwhile, the white folks at the table who ordered burgers and pasta (riggies, they call them) and whatnot had their food within 20 minutes.
 
2018-08-10 12:47:42 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: eKonk: 9. Hold your wine glass by the stem: Fark off, if I want to cradle it I'll do so.

DRTFA, maybe this was covered, but the wine glass is called "stemware" for a reason.

Holding the glass by the stem keeps your hand from heating the wine.  Yes, temperature can be important.


I appreciate the tip, but that wine isn't going to stick around long enough to get warmed up by my hand.
 
2018-08-10 02:08:39 PM  
Blues Brothers Restaurant Scene
Youtube JzzE6XLbC8M
 
2018-08-10 02:26:16 PM  
Ok, if we have to wait till everybody is served, can I send my food back because it is cold because I was waiting for the rest of the table to get served?
 
2018-08-10 02:32:40 PM  

dwlah: [YouTube video: Blues Brothers Restaurant Scene]


I have relatives that stick their napkins in their collars. They're just too lazy to sit up.
 
2018-08-10 04:02:41 PM  
I agree for the most part EXCEPT for 2 & 8. If there are 5 of 6 people already at the restaurant (as an example) why shouldn't they be seated? As for #8, why do 'they' think it's alright for them to tell a paying customer how many courses they are allowed to order? Even if it is only a suggestion it is the height of hubris.
 
2018-08-11 06:30:00 AM  
Where's your Emily Post?
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