Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Patheos)   Wondering what god does in his free time?   ( friendlyatheist.patheos.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, hands, God, airplane, Lay hands, Televangelist Kenneth Copeland, old airplane, big old airplane, four-engine turbo-prop airliner  
•       •       •

6438 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2018 at 11:41 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
5 days ago  
He has so much of it now.
 
5 days ago  
I always assumed it involved alot of smiting.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
5 days ago  
Masturbates furiously.
 
5 days ago  

vpb: Masturbates furiously.


Crap!  Missed it by two minutes.
 
5 days ago  
Farks those 6 fish in particular?
 
5 days ago  
He said, "Corrosion comes from the Curse."
 
5 days ago  
He's probably planning another plane crash where everyone dies except one person...so his followers can praise him for the miracle...or burning down a church but the cross survives. That God...he really knows how to suck in the rubes
 
4 days ago  
I love this guy. I really do. It is pure comedy gold
 
4 days ago  

Justin Beaver: I love this guy. I really do. It is pure comedy gold


This is true.
However it's far less funny when you know that old people have been bilked out of their retirement income and skip meals in the promise of his ticket to heaven for cash plan.
 
4 days ago  
Well, it's not impegnate teen virgins. That was on the official schedule.

I'm going with promising, but always denying, a reach around for Satan. Lucy and the football like.
 
4 days ago  

optikeye: Justin Beaver: I love this guy. I really do. It is pure comedy gold

This is true.
However it's far less funny when you know that old people have been bilked out of their retirement income and skip meals in the promise of his ticket to heaven for cash plan.


Buuuut, if you are gullible enough to part your money with a slick-talking huckster, maybe you deserve to get taken for a ride
 
4 days ago  
Vickers Viscount, you say...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Not at all. This explains everything.
What if God Smoked Cannabis - Joan Osborne
Youtube iiZwrRLS2-A
 
4 days ago  

Justin Beaver: optikeye: Justin Beaver: I love this guy. I really do. It is pure comedy gold

This is true.
However it's far less funny when you know that old people have been bilked out of their retirement income and skip meals in the promise of his ticket to heaven for cash plan.

Buuuut, if you are gullible enough to part your money with a slick-talking huckster, maybe you deserve to get taken for a ride


You do know that old people are basically drunks.
Now, tell me have you ever one clicked on Amazon in a moment of weakness?
 
4 days ago  
If you had infinite time and resources I'm pretty sure you would jerk off once in a while
 
4 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Oblig.
 
4 days ago  
Shams
Youtube UQbEEHur2vU
 
4 days ago  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I always assumed it involved alot of smiting.


Smite Me Almighty Smiter
Youtube edc9wyBCGCQ
 
4 days ago  
He sadly sits outside a closed Chik-Fil-A.
 
4 days ago  
No obligatory Far Side cartoon for shame Fark, for shame.
thebarkingfox.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

maddan: Farks those 6 fish in particular?


img.fark.netView Full Size


Makes me giggle every time. It's in my "bad day" folder of stuff to refer to in case of emergency. =D
 
4 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Modmins on news aggregator sites?
 
4 days ago  
I'm sure some members of his congregation will be so happy for him while continuing to pray for a cure for their terminal cancer.
 
4 days ago  
He writes steamy Destiel. But none of that weird A/B/O stuff.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Beg for money?
 
4 days ago  
Skeeball?
 
4 days ago  

IgG4: If you had infinite time and resources I'm pretty sure you would jerk off once in a while


Hell, I dont have either of those things and I jerk off more than "once in a while"
 
4 days ago  
Grown-ass adults who vote and hold positions of power actually believe this guy and people like him. Sweet dreams, America!
 
4 days ago  
strike down little kids with brain cancer?
 
4 days ago  
If only this douchebag coulda been there for Elvis.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
So jeebus is made of bondo?
 
4 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
He, sure as shiat, ain't lookin' for a starahip.
 
4 days ago  
He writes fake Amazon reviews.
 
4 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Because his god is the best god.  You know, kind of like a glorified plane body fabricator only with more angels


/crazy can be fun.
 
4 days ago  
He made me
 
4 days ago  

Nefarious: No obligatory Far Side cartoon for shame Fark, for shame.
[thebarkingfox.files.wordpress.com image 450x513]


tse1.mm.bing.netView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
It is precisely this kind of thing that makes me want to believe. This isn't the kind of thing you'd just make up. It's so random. Copeland was almost certainly in touch with God who healed his airplane. What other explanation could there be for the sudden healing of the corrosion?
 
4 days ago  
I wish this sort of thing was made up, but it isn't.  When I was a kid one of my mother's friends was married to a guy who'd pray over a broken lawnmower instead of breaking out the tools.  I guess that would sometimes work if your problem is that you're a dumbass and you keep flooding the engine.

Also, Benny Hinn finds your lack of faith disturbing.
media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
I'm a devout agnostic, but my favorite theories on deities are the ones that involve a ton of irony. Like what if stuff like this really is a miracle, and whatever deity exists changes mundane stuff all the time because it just doesn't comprehend things the way we do. That time you ordered a medium fries and got a large by mistake? The time you were just about to take your car in to be looked at and it stopped making the funny noise? Ever drop a coin and have it roll around on its edge? All works of a deity. The big stuff though is just totally random, because the deity doesn't think we appreciate their miracles because we don't pay attention to the little stuff that randomly happens.
My favorite still I heard from a friend way back in High School. He insisted god was like a genie. His first act was making the universe, his second was creating life, and he's saving his third in case he decides it was a bad idea.
 
4 days ago  
Man, c'mon now Fark

First, I pointed out that no, I don't, because I know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9mhs​W​5aWJM

And then that any god that exists is a load of crap for pulling my sister 2 days after her 44th birthday (cancer, for almost all of you who are curious, as I would be if I was reading this)

So suck my non-existant male genitals

NO, I don't wonder. Biggest job in the world, and he's asleep on it.
 
4 days ago  
So this guy recalls the exact words God said to him. "Kenneth." He said, "Corrosion comes from the Curse."

It reminds me of a schizophrenia case study we saw in psychology. The guy's sitting there smoking a cig in kmart (those were the days!) and he turns to his father and asks "Why would you say that?" Turns out he heard his father's voice in his head calling him a disgrace or something to that effect. Apparently, the voices in people's heads are not very nice.

But back to my point, do religious people expect to hear god's voice speaking plainly to them? Answering questions? Diagnosing airplane problems? I know this guy in particular could be a complete bullshiatter but his parishioners who send him money, do they hear god's voice like he does?
 
4 days ago  

epic_biatch: And then that any god that exists is a load of crap for pulling my sister 2 days after her 44th birthday (cancer, for almost all of you who are curious, as I would be if I was reading this)


There are two phrases that make me want to beat the shiat out of the speaker, "it's god's will" and "he/she is in a better place".  Telling people "your god is an asshole" gets interesting responses.
 
4 days ago  

AverageAmericanGuy: It is precisely this kind of thing that makes me want to believe. This isn't the kind of thing you'd just make up. It's so random. Copeland was almost certainly in touch with God who healed his airplane. What other explanation could there be for the sudden healing of the corrosion?


FTA: They did more X-rays and came back, and there was just one little old spot there. I said, "Lord, what -" "No," He said, "I'm going to remind you." I said, "Uh, what are you reminding me of?" He said, "They could have said, 'Maybe the - maybe the X-rays were wrong.'"
Are you listening? So we laid hands on it again, and it was gone
.

He forgot the part about how every x-ray had an inset of Jesus holding today's Washington Times and modern science was forced to admit the existence of God.
 
4 days ago  
He decides the outcomes of sporting events.  Stop a tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people?  Sorry too busy - but he really wanted DeShanun to catch that pass.
 
4 days ago  
Makes fun of Muslims?
 
4 days ago  

MrBallou: He said, "Corrosion comes from the Curse."


Oxygen?
 
4 days ago  
And then Kenneth told me to give him the ring.
 
Displayed 50 of 77 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report