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(BBC-US)   Headline: Ditching tight pants "improves sperm count." Article: "Regardless of the types of underpants worn, sperm counts were in the normal range"   ( bbc.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Sperm, higher sperm concentration, Undergarment, Testicle, Boxer briefs, sperm count, total sperm count, sperm production  
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1321 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2018 at 12:20 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



93 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2018-08-09 10:14:00 AM  
Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?
 
2018-08-09 10:33:59 AM  
Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.
 
2018-08-09 11:28:30 AM  
Oblig

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-09 12:21:04 PM  
And both are true!
 
2018-08-09 12:21:24 PM  
Are pants and underpants the same, or does subby wear them on head interchangeably?
 
2018-08-09 12:24:02 PM  
You can see an increase and still be within the normal range.

/Reading. How does it work?
 
2018-08-09 12:24:44 PM  
Reading comprehension is difficult for subby.
 
2018-08-09 12:24:46 PM  
something something men in tights something
 
2018-08-09 12:25:15 PM  
I have a much lower sperm count in my underwear after doing laundry.
 
2018-08-09 12:25:50 PM  
The latest thing is eating tree nuts*. Supposedly the high fat/protein is good for sperm. I'm not saying that's true, but the only pregnancy that my wife had where we didn't have to "try" was when I was on a low-carb/high-fat diet and snacking on nuts instead of chips.

*Don't let Treebeard catch you.
 
2018-08-09 12:26:30 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-08-09 12:26:43 PM  

Thenixon: Are pants and underpants the same, or does subby wear them on head interchangeably?


For most of the UK, pants are underpants. I'm from a part of it where pants are trousers, which caused on or two misunderstandings when I moved elsewhere.
 
2018-08-09 12:27:28 PM  

Nexus798: something something men in tights something


Robin Hood: Men in Tights (3/5) Movie CLIP - Men in Tights (1993) HD
Youtube G59JnM4JKNQ
 
2018-08-09 12:27:32 PM  
Hmm. I don't know my sperm count. I'd have to check my bedroom wall, and my sheets, and my pillow...
 
2018-08-09 12:27:55 PM  

Thenixon: Are pants and underpants the same, or does subby wear them on head interchangeably?


Why are they only sold in pairs?
 
2018-08-09 12:28:25 PM  

factoryconnection: Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.


I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.

Most embarrassing thing to go through, I thought.

Wife and I got to a testing facility, they give me a cup and show me the "room"
There is a sink, a bench and a table with really old porn magazines. The nurse tells me to " do my thing" but I wasn't feeling up to it. The magazines weren't helping so I leave and go back to the nurse's station.

me: I can't do this.
Nurse: you have to.
Me: my wife is in the waiting room. Can I ask her to help?
Nurse: we need a proper sample, she can't give oral and we don't want any penetration of any sort. It will spoil the test.

So i go to the waiting room for the Mrs..

Me: It's your lucky day.
Wife: oh, you finished already?
Me: No, I need you to give me a HJ.
Wife: You're kidding?
Me: Why would I kid?
Wife: I'm not doing that.
Me: Well, then I'm not giving a sample.
Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.
 
2018-08-09 12:28:57 PM  
Nerf Herder - Doin' Laundry
Youtube SuTAvXyTi9s
 
2018-08-09 12:29:30 PM  
"Do you know what this means??  MY FISHIES CAN SWIM!!!"

smithsdaily.comView Full Size


/wrong picture, I know, but it was the best I could find
 
2018-08-09 12:29:46 PM  
That's a lot to swallow.
 
2018-08-09 12:33:39 PM  
Tight Pants (Remastered Studio)
Youtube HzIIYo_8uY0
 
2018-08-09 12:37:00 PM  
I never bothered to count mine. Aren't are like, billions in each ejaculation? Sigh. This is going to take a while.
 
2018-08-09 12:37:48 PM  

steklo: Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.


And they say romance is dead.
 
2018-08-09 12:38:18 PM  
One useful bit of information not mentioned in the article is whether different levels of follicle stimulating hormone have other effects on the body aside from changing sperm count. Another is whether or not temperature affects testosterone production.

Most importantly: how did jockey shorts even become a popular item among non-athletes? And why are they made in children's sizes? I was in my teens before I switched, having figured out, among other things that boxers didn't get tight when I grew out of them.
 
2018-08-09 12:38:23 PM  

steklo: factoryconnection: Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.

I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.

Most embarrassing thing to go through, I thought.

Wife and I got to a testing facility, they give me a cup and show me the "room"
There is a sink, a bench and a table with really old porn magazines. The nurse tells me to " do my thing" but I wasn't feeling up to it. The magazines weren't helping so I leave and go back to the nurse's station.

me: I can't do this.
Nurse: you have to.
Me: my wife is in the waiting room. Can I ask her to help?
Nurse: we need a proper sample, she can't give oral and we don't want any penetration of any sort. It will spoil the test.

So i go to the waiting room for the Mrs..

Me: It's your lucky day.
Wife: oh, you finished already?
Me: No, I need you to give me a HJ.
Wife: You're kidding?
Me: Why would I kid?
Wife: I'm not doing that.
Me: Well, then I'm not giving a sample.
Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.


You got a cup? Lucky. I had to do it into a vial. Let me tell you, it's logistically difficult to beat your meat while keeping the narrow opening positioned over your narrow opening with a tight seal.

/your welcome for that mental image
 
2018-08-09 12:41:04 PM  

factoryconnection: And they say romance is dead.


it was in that marriage.
 
2018-08-09 12:41:08 PM  
according to the WHO 5th edition reference, median is 39million per ml, with the normal range being 33-46.

So, you could be at 33 with tight pants, 46 without, and both would be in the normal range, and tight pants would still lower your sperm count.

For fark's sake subby, do you imagine sperm as some sort of binary thing?  That it's either on or off?  "Normal" always has ranges.
 
2018-08-09 12:41:44 PM  
FTFA: 'Reproduction is a team sport'

"Survival of the species is everybody's business"  - 'Profound revelations', A Child's Garden of Grass

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw5mv​M​J-eUs
 
2018-08-09 12:43:22 PM  

cgraves67: steklo: factoryconnection: Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.

I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.

Most embarrassing thing to go through, I thought.

Wife and I got to a testing facility, they give me a cup and show me the "room"
There is a sink, a bench and a table with really old porn magazines. The nurse tells me to " do my thing" but I wasn't feeling up to it. The magazines weren't helping so I leave and go back to the nurse's station.

me: I can't do this.
Nurse: you have to.
Me: my wife is in the waiting room. Can I ask her to help?
Nurse: we need a proper sample, she can't give oral and we don't want any penetration of any sort. It will spoil the test.

So i go to the waiting room for the Mrs..

Me: It's your lucky day.
Wife: oh, you finished already?
Me: No, I need you to give me a HJ.
Wife: You're kidding?
Me: Why would I kid?
Wife: I'm not doing that.
Me: Well, then I'm not giving a sample.
Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.

You got a cup? Lucky. I had to do it into a vial. Let me tell you, it's logistically difficult to beat your meat while keeping the narrow opening positioned over your narrow opening with a tight seal.

/your welcome for that mental image


A tight seal is what a walrus is looking for.
 
2018-08-09 12:44:34 PM  

KodosZardoz: Hmm. I don't know my sperm count. I'd have to check my bedroom wall, and my sheets, and my pillow...


My sperm count is the best, a perfect zero.  Wouldn't have it any other way.  Ask your doctor, it only takes 20 minutes.
 
2018-08-09 12:47:14 PM  
Ok, since no one understood or bothered to yet, I am going to try to explain
what subby doesn't seem to understand.

"improves sperm count."  versus "Regardless of the types of underpants worn, sperm counts were in the normal range"

RANGE means a range of values, which can be wide or narrow.  for instance, your systolic blood pressure can be in a normal range of 60-80 mm.  your penis can be from 3 inches to 8 inches.  your height can be from 5 feet to 7 feet.  However, it is possible to have statistically significant differences within a range considered "normal".  So people with tight shorts mainly have "low normal" counts and men with boxers may have "high normal" counts, each with their own 'sub-ranges' but falling within the normal range overall.  So you see subby, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
 
2018-08-09 12:48:22 PM  
Q: How do you know if your sperm count is too high?
A: When your girlfriend has to chew before swallowing.

/I'll show myself out.
 
2018-08-09 12:49:33 PM  

cgraves67: You got a cup? Lucky.


Yeah, they handed me a cup. They told me to try not to touch the sample, not to use any "spit" or soap, water from the sink.

As it turned out, I did have a low sperm count. They asked if I smoked and about other habits. When I mentioned that I used to work for US Army in a telecommunications microwave facility, there was their "ah ha" moment.
 
2018-08-09 12:50:43 PM  
Kinda figured that one was born of an unconscious desire that men in tight pants could never breed.

Because disco sucks.
 
2018-08-09 12:51:10 PM  

NewWorldDan: KodosZardoz: Hmm. I don't know my sperm count. I'd have to check my bedroom wall, and my sheets, and my pillow...

My sperm count is the best, a perfect zero.  Wouldn't have it any other way.  Ask your doctor, it only takes 20 minutes.


I can do it in 3.
 
2018-08-09 12:51:34 PM  
Why we refer to a "pair of underpants"? Who wears two underpants?
 
2018-08-09 12:53:06 PM  

steklo: I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-08-09 12:53:34 PM  

steklo: cgraves67: You got a cup? Lucky.

Yeah, they handed me a cup. They told me to try not to touch the sample, not to use any "spit" or soap, water from the sink.

As it turned out, I did have a low sperm count. They asked if I smoked and about other habits. When I mentioned that I used to work for US Army in a telecommunications microwave facility, there was their "ah ha" moment.


Mine was slightly below average. They told me to lose weight, stay out of hot tubs, and take a multivitamin with zinc.
 
2018-08-09 12:54:06 PM  

NewWorldDan: KodosZardoz: Hmm. I don't know my sperm count. I'd have to check my bedroom wall, and my sheets, and my pillow...

My sperm count is the best, a perfect zero.  Wouldn't have it any other way.  Ask your doctor, it only takes 20 minutes.


Take the next day off to let things settle (Doc did pull things around a bit), both physically AND sexually (the Doc upfront shoulda told you), and expect a spot of blood in your semen once in the first couple of shots. But all goes well, and you'll be relieved.
 
2018-08-09 12:55:35 PM  

cgraves67: lose weight, stay out of hot tubs, and take a multivitamin with zinc.


Meanwhile there are a zillion unwanted pregnancies a day....
 
2018-08-09 12:56:59 PM  

steklo: factoryconnection: Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.

I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.

Most embarrassing thing to go through, I thought.

Wife and I got to a testing facility, they give me a cup and show me the "room"
There is a sink, a bench and a table with really old porn magazines. The nurse tells me to " do my thing" but I wasn't feeling up to it. The magazines weren't helping so I leave and go back to the nurse's station.

me: I can't do this.
Nurse: you have to.
Me: my wife is in the waiting room. Can I ask her to help?
Nurse: we need a proper sample, she can't give oral and we don't want any penetration of any sort. It will spoil the test.

So i go to the waiting room for the Mrs..

Me: It's your lucky day.
Wife: oh, you finished already?
Me: No, I need you to give me a HJ.
Wife: You're kidding?
Me: Why would I kid?
Wife: I'm not doing that.
Me: Well, then I'm not giving a sample.
Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.


I take it this was before smartphones?
 
2018-08-09 12:57:14 PM  

Schmerd1948: I never bothered to count mine. Aren't are like, billions in each ejaculation? Sigh. This is going to take a while.


You're gonna need a good microscope and some tweezers.
 
2018-08-09 12:59:46 PM  

steklo: cgraves67: lose weight, stay out of hot tubs, and take a multivitamin with zinc.

Meanwhile there are a zillion unwanted pregnancies a day....


Presumably skinny guys that stay cool and have a proper metabolic balance.
 
2018-08-09 01:00:11 PM  

steklo: factoryconnection: Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.

I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.

Most embarrassing thing to go through, I thought.

Wife and I got to a testing facility, they give me a cup and show me the "room"
There is a sink, a bench and a table with really old porn magazines. The nurse tells me to " do my thing" but I wasn't feeling up to it. The magazines weren't helping so I leave and go back to the nurse's station.

me: I can't do this.
Nurse: you have to.
Me: my wife is in the waiting room. Can I ask her to help?
Nurse: we need a proper sample, she can't give oral and we don't want any penetration of any sort. It will spoil the test.

So i go to the waiting room for the Mrs..

Me: It's your lucky day.
Wife: oh, you finished already?
Me: No, I need you to give me a HJ.
Wife: You're kidding?
Me: Why would I kid?
Wife: I'm not doing that.
Me: Well, then I'm not giving a sample.
Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.


They let my husband collect his at home every time. He also was allowed to wear a condom as long as it didn't have spermicide/lube/etc. on the inside for his later collections.

Wasn't his favorite process but after years of dildocam ultrasounds and needles on my end, he knows better than to complain about it.
 
2018-08-09 01:03:15 PM  

yakmans_dad: Why we refer to a "pair of underpants"? Who wears two underpants?


Holdover from when pants looked like this:
img.fark.netView Full Size

...and you needed a separate piece of clothing to cover your junk.
 
2018-08-09 01:03:29 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: I take it this was before smartphones?


Cell phones or "car phones" as we called them in the early 90's were expensive and they had to put a special antenna in the car, drill holes and whatnot...I think I was using an IBM 386 as a home PC with AOL 1.2 on it.
 
2018-08-09 01:03:32 PM  
All of my pants are tight.  Yes, even my sweats.
 
2018-08-09 01:06:05 PM  

steklo: factoryconnection: Also relevant: unless men are trying to father a child, their sperm count is completely immaterial, and only men who are undergoing fertility evaluation/treatment even know theirs.

I was tested once, when my wife wasn't getting preggers.

Most embarrassing thing to go through, I thought.

Wife and I got to a testing facility, they give me a cup and show me the "room"
There is a sink, a bench and a table with really old porn magazines. The nurse tells me to " do my thing" but I wasn't feeling up to it. The magazines weren't helping so I leave and go back to the nurse's station.

me: I can't do this.
Nurse: you have to.
Me: my wife is in the waiting room. Can I ask her to help?
Nurse: we need a proper sample, she can't give oral and we don't want any penetration of any sort. It will spoil the test.

So i go to the waiting room for the Mrs..

Me: It's your lucky day.
Wife: oh, you finished already?
Me: No, I need you to give me a HJ.
Wife: You're kidding?
Me: Why would I kid?
Wife: I'm not doing that.
Me: Well, then I'm not giving a sample.
Wife: Fine. Let's go get this over with.


I had to turn in a sperm sample after getting a vasectomy to make sure I was sterile.  You could produce the sample at home as long as you could get it to the hospital within 30 minutes and it was only about 6 miles from my house, so I just had a wank at home.  From there I made a mad dash to the hospital, sure enough hitting every red light and ended up getting there just in time to keep from having to go to the on site fapatorium.
 
2018-08-09 01:07:39 PM  

The Companion: Wasn't his favorite process


No, its not a favorite "thing" to do. But you were lucky it was a "home" test like that.

I'm curious though. How soon did you have to rush the sample to the testing facility? Same day?
 
2018-08-09 01:09:08 PM  

give me doughnuts: yakmans_dad: Why we refer to a "pair of underpants"? Who wears two underpants?

Holdover from when pants looked like this:
[img.fark.net image 173x292]
...and you needed a separate piece of clothing to cover your junk.


How the hell did we devolve from that paragon of convenience?!?
 
2018-08-09 01:10:21 PM  

res_nihil: on site fapatorium.


Let me guess, there's a hole in the ceiling for cats, right?

cdn.acidcow.comView Full Size
 
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