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(Newsweek)   82-year-old man with world's longest fingernails (which he had been growing for 66 years--some of them as much as 6 feet long) cuts fingernails off to sell to museum. Apparently he needed a little scratch   ( newsweek.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Guinness World, Guinness World Records, Twin Galaxies, World record, nails, Manicure, New York City, Jim Pattison Group  
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5503 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2018 at 4:50 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-07-12 03:44:31 PM  
...his pants fit like a glove?
 
2018-07-12 04:10:06 PM  
That story is a clip job
 
2018-07-12 04:52:51 PM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 04:52:55 PM  
Also for the first time in 66 years... Masturbtion
 
2018-07-12 04:54:16 PM  
there was a lady at a restaurant the other day who had nails about 6" long, they looked just as disgusting as the ones in this (albeit shorter).  But browned out, growing who know what kind of bacteria/fungus/mold .

You could smell something  (presumably them ) from 50+ feet away over the smell of the fresh hot food in front of you.   I have no idea why the management didn't kick her out.  Anyways, she was using her brand newish looking $900 smartphone and dropped it in her bowl of soup.  About 20 people clapped.
 
2018-07-12 04:54:34 PM  
FTFA: "...the current record for longest nails on both hands goes to Ayanna Williams of Houston, Texas, reported HuffPost. According to the 2018 edition of Guinness World Records, released late last year, Williams' nails were measured at 18 feet and 10.9 inches."

How does she wipe her behind after pooping?
 
2018-07-12 04:55:30 PM  
God, can you imagine the sound of those knuckles cracking???
 
2018-07-12 04:55:37 PM  
Disgusting.
 
2018-07-12 04:55:43 PM  

hugram: FTFA: "...the current record for longest nails on both hands goes to Ayanna Williams of Houston, Texas, reported HuffPost. According to the 2018 edition of Guinness World Records, released late last year, Williams' nails were measured at 18 feet and 10.9 inches."

How does she wipe her behind after pooping?


She doesn't.
 
2018-07-12 04:56:04 PM  

hugram: FTFA: "...the current record for longest nails on both hands goes to Ayanna Williams of Houston, Texas, reported HuffPost. According to the 2018 edition of Guinness World Records, released late last year, Williams' nails were measured at 18 feet and 10.9 inches."

How does she wipe her behind after pooping?


How does she do anything?


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 05:00:54 PM  
Subby

img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 05:01:55 PM  
Love the pun. Very cute.
 
2018-07-12 05:02:25 PM  
Wonder what's so cool about having long fingernails that you're willing to stop using your hands.
 
2018-07-12 05:02:34 PM  
Talk about one clusterfark of an article.
 
2018-07-12 05:02:58 PM  
..which he had been growing for 66 years-...

Really makes me question if I've done anything of any real value with *my* life.
 
2018-07-12 05:05:36 PM  

Leader O'Cola: there was a lady at a restaurant the other day who had nails about 6" long, they looked just as disgusting as the ones in this (albeit shorter).  But browned out, growing who know what kind of bacteria/fungus/mold .

You could smell something  (presumably them ) from 50+ feet away over the smell of the fresh hot food in front of you.   I have no idea why the management didn't kick her out.  Anyways, she was using her brand newish looking $900 smartphone and dropped it in her bowl of soup.  About 20 people clapped.


I saw a woman at a buffet one time with 4 inch toenails. Disgusting
 
2018-07-12 05:06:04 PM  

yakmans_dad: Love the pun. Very cute.


Nailed it.
 
2018-07-12 05:07:00 PM  

yakmans_dad: Love the pun. Very cuticle.


Fifty
 
2018-07-12 05:09:03 PM  
Well, as they say, Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
NSFW,

and no, you don't really want to click and see any of these three NSFW links. But i know some of you clicked them anyway and i'm not sorry :)
 
2018-07-12 05:16:14 PM  
I can't stand JJK length nails. This? Blegh.
 
TWX
2018-07-12 05:16:59 PM  

almejita: Wonder what's so cool about having long fingernails that you're willing to stop using your hands.


I have a difficult time typing if my fingernails get over 3/16" long. I can't imagine the difficulty in life with nails longer than that.
 
2018-07-12 05:18:01 PM  
Not clicking that link. It's got to be disgusting.
 
2018-07-12 05:18:37 PM  
It was obviously a copng mechanism... I mean he couldn't grow new teeth so he compensated.
 
2018-07-12 05:21:55 PM  

elvisaintdead: ...his pants fit like a glove?


More like his gloves fit like pants?!?
 
2018-07-12 05:22:30 PM  
I used to work the night shift at 7-11 in a sketchy neighborhood.  One of my harmless weirdos had 3-4 inch long nails filed to points.  The ones on his index finger, thumb, and middle fingers had really gross nicotine stains on them. The guy also had pieces of rusty steel holding open some of his facial piercings back in the 80s when facial piercings were uncommon.

One night he came in the store for smokes and informed me that he was worried that he was going to be turning into a werewolf soon.
 
2018-07-12 05:22:42 PM  
I'm more interested in a morbid sort of way to hear the afterstory. What's it like to get use of your hand after so many years? Is it even theoretically possible to regain full movement? Imagine if this guy learns the piano and becomes a virtuoso. Uh huh.
 
2018-07-12 05:23:43 PM  
This is the bodily equivalent of hoarding garbage.
 
2018-07-12 05:24:24 PM  

Imaginativescreenname: Well, as they say, Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
NSFW,

and no, you don't really want to click and see any of these three NSFW links. But i know some of you clicked them anyway and i'm not sorry :)


What did that have to do with anything? And thanks for the awkward boner.

/Sigh
//Zip
 
2018-07-12 05:25:07 PM  

Sockoffrogs: elvisaintdead: ...his pants fit like a glove?

More like his gloves fit like pants?!?


I'm laughing here.
 
2018-07-12 05:26:22 PM  

SonOfSpam: This is the bodily equivalent of hoarding garbage.


That's the outwards equivalent of swallowing your hair.
 
2018-07-12 05:28:08 PM  

HempHead: hugram: FTFA: "...the current record for longest nails on both hands goes to Ayanna Williams of Houston, Texas, reported HuffPost. According to the 2018 edition of Guinness World Records, released late last year, Williams' nails were measured at 18 feet and 10.9 inches."

How does she wipe her behind after pooping?

How does she do anything?


[img.fark.net image 425x510]


I'm guessing she doesn't do anything.
Including tie those shoes she has on...
AAAND I just noticed her toenails.
-.-
 
2018-07-12 05:28:50 PM  
Man who hasn't wiped his own ass in 72 years sells his fingernails.
 
2018-07-12 05:28:52 PM  

hugram: FTFA: "...the current record for longest nails on both hands goes to Ayanna Williams of Houston, Texas, reported HuffPost. According to the 2018 edition of Guinness World Records, released late last year, Williams' nails were measured at 18 feet and 10.9 inches."

How does she wipe her behind after pooping?


That's what the nails are for. Sort of like 3 seashells, but way more disgusting.
You just rake the nails across ol' Mr. Browneye, and then rinse them off in the sink.
 
2018-07-12 05:31:31 PM  

Imaginativescreenname: Well, as they say, Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
NSFW,

and no, you don't really want to click and see any of these three NSFW links. But i know some of you clicked them anyway and i'm not sorry :)


Dude. Corn I get. Ribbed for her pleasure. But a farking cactus? Why? In the name of all things holy, why would you do that?
 
2018-07-12 05:33:28 PM  

TWX: I have a difficult time typing if my fingernails get over 3/16" long. I can't imagine the difficulty in life with nails longer than that.


I used to bite my nails, but broke that habit when I was in my mid 20s.

Now, typing difficulty is the signal that it's time to cut my nails.
 
2018-07-12 05:36:41 PM  

ChipNASA: Subby
[img.fark.net image 300x166]
[img.fark.net image 498x349]


img.fark.netView Full Size

/Subby
 
2018-07-12 05:38:08 PM  
Mirrorz: Man who hasn't wiped his own ass in 72 years sells his fingernails.


__________________

Maybe he had a bidet?

At least for some of those years.

Hopefully?
 
2018-07-12 05:38:32 PM  

Resident Muslim: SonOfSpam: This is the bodily equivalent of hoarding garbage.

That's the outwards equivalent of swallowing your hair.


Tricotillomania.

Many years ago, I had a dog and pony show where I would take x-ray films, ct scans, mri scans and two five gallon buckets full of human organs around to grade schools, etc., and wow them with what smokers lung and heart disease look like.

My prized possession was a bezoar...a clump of human hair which had been swallowed, and, strand by strand, built itself into the exact replica of the greater curvature of the stomach.  it was very dense, and weighed 3-4 pounds...it was removed from a girl with tricotillomania.
 
2018-07-12 05:42:25 PM  
Why would growing your nails like that make your fingers fuse together?
 
TWX
2018-07-12 05:49:03 PM  

lordargent: TWX: I have a difficult time typing if my fingernails get over 3/16" long. I can't imagine the difficulty in life with nails longer than that.

I used to bite my nails, but broke that habit when I was in my mid 20s.

Now, typing difficulty is the signal that it's time to cut my nails.


Frankly I don't really know when to cut them proactively. I have a workshop and I tend to leave 'em a little on the long side so that if I tear one while working on something it doesn't tear to the nailbed. I tear them often enough that this usually becomes the trigger for trimming them.

Otherwise I suppose it's when typing becomes a problem, or if I find myself inadvertently gouging my skin or something.
 
2018-07-12 05:50:56 PM  

abhorrent1: Why would growing your nails like that make your fingers fuse together?


Like the human version of a rat-king...

GIS if you dare.
 
2018-07-12 06:04:58 PM  
stir22:

My prized possession was a bezoar..

I bet the office Christmas exchange is a little awkward, huh?
 
2018-07-12 06:08:23 PM  
Can you imagine what he's had to endure from people for the last 66 years?

Year one: "No, really, I'll break a record with this."
Year ten: "My friends have all abandoned me, but at least I have my beautiful wife."
Year 30: "Well, my wife has left me, but at least our children still love me."
Year 50: "Everyone is gone. What am I even doing with my life?"
Year 66: "What? I broke the world record? Who farking cares?"
 
2018-07-12 06:10:55 PM  
I get irritated when mine get to half an inch and end up filing them all down again.  Quarter inch is plenty.  I wonder how much Ripley's paid him, those things were beyond disgusting.
 
2018-07-12 06:13:15 PM  

Imaginativescreenname: Well, as they say, Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
NSFW,

and no, you don't really want to click and see any of these three NSFW links. But i know some of you clicked them anyway and i'm not sorry :)


Gorgor? Are you back? I've missed you so...
 
2018-07-12 06:14:12 PM  
How does he pick his nose?

/or pick anything?
 
2018-07-12 06:22:37 PM  
I'm not sure whether to laugh or hurl at Subby's headline
 
2018-07-12 06:26:42 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 06:29:38 PM  

gilatrout: Also for the first time in 66 years... Masturbtion


He only grew them out on one hand. Must be a rightie....
 
2018-07-12 06:31:35 PM  
Reminds me of Capt. Hook who bled to death after he wiped his azz with the wrong hand.
 
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