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(Lehigh Valley Live)   You can avoid the $10 fee to get on the beach if you spend $116 to dress like a life guard, also run the risk of having to attempt a rescue   ( lehighvalleylive.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, toughest badge checkers, New Jersey, pesky badge checker, Jersey summertime rite, wild story idea, Feces, prior written permission, recent fecal matter  
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3887 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2018 at 4:20 PM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-07-12 02:14:10 PM  
$10? What is this, Mons Venus, 1995?
 
2018-07-12 04:02:24 PM  
That's weird. It's a beach, not a pool.
 
2018-07-12 04:23:40 PM  
You have to pay to access beaches in New Jersey? WTF?
 
2018-07-12 04:24:14 PM  
Dress like a cop.

No one will expect you to do anything. In fact, they'll be relieved when you don't.
 
2018-07-12 04:24:50 PM  

Gleeman: You have to pay to access beaches in New Jersey? WTF?


How to avoid paying for NJ beach fees?
Go to Delaware.
Less POOP, clean beaches, less hassle.
TAH DAH!
 
2018-07-12 04:35:41 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 04:35:50 PM  
what the hell kind of beach charges money, I've seen paid parking lots but to go on the actual beach?
 
2018-07-12 04:36:08 PM  
Hi, former frequent Jersey Shore goer here:

Parking - can be anywhere from $5-50 depending on the day and weather.

Beach pass - $10 a person.

So if you are a family of four going to Seaside Heights on the 4th of July in 90-degree sunny weather at 2 PM, you may pay close to $100 before you step foot on the sand.

And yes, all of the Jersey Shore is like that except for Wildwood where the beach is still free.  These local town make BANK off tourists, not to mention local private parking lot owners. And people will pay those rates.
 
2018-07-12 04:36:41 PM  
I'm not a fan of beaches but they're free in Maryland and Delaware. Unless there is something I missed somewhere. Now they'll charge you to park some places. Like Virginia Beach in February. Parking police were literally parked by my car waiting for the meter to expire.

I was the only person parked on the street.
 
2018-07-12 04:39:51 PM  
Cost of badge: $8 each

farking cheapskates. Pay the fark up.
 
2018-07-12 04:42:19 PM  
Or, you try out for the movie ...
 
2018-07-12 04:43:28 PM  
I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.
 
2018-07-12 04:45:19 PM  
You could not pay me enough to go on the beach in Jersey.

took my Ex to many beaches, one being Seven Mile Beach in Grand Cayman. He hated it. It was not 'the shore'. No matter what beach we went to, he hated it. Some people believe 'the shore' is the best ever. I am not one of those people.

I wondered if New York went back to their original plan when the poop trains were turned back from Alabama (?) Dump their shiat off the Jersey shore. I would not be surprised.
 
2018-07-12 04:48:16 PM  

lilfry14: I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.


I thought only the beach below high tide was available to the public?
 
2018-07-12 04:51:25 PM  

no_tan_lines: I wondered if New York went back to their original plan when the poop trains were turned back from Alabama (?) Dump their shiat off the Jersey shore. I would not be surprised


Just FYI for everyone (There was a Fark Thread about this when it was posted last month. )

47 NJ Beaches At Risk Of Closing Due To Fecal Bacteria, DEP Says
Is this a record? One-third of NJ's beaches are on the brink of closing because of bacteria found in animal and human waste. Here's where.

Here are the beaches:
Atlantic
Margate, Clermont Ave
Margate, Osborne
Margate, Gladstone Ave
Ventnor, Washington
Ventnor, Dorset
Ventnor, New Haven
Ventnor, Austin Ave
Albany Ave, Ocean Front
Atlantic City, Chelsea
Atlantic City, Missouri
Atlantic City, Dover Ave
Atlantic City, Bartram
Atlantic City, Illinois
Atlantic City, Kentucky
Atlantic City, Michigan
Atlantic City, Texas
Cape May
Cape May, Queen North
Cape May, Philadelphia
Cape May, Grant
Lower Township, Richmond Ave
Wildwood, Montgomery
Wildwood, Bennett
Wildwood Crest, Miami
Wildwood Crest, Lavendar
Wildwood Crest, Jefferson
Wildwood Crest, Forgetmenot
Wildwood Crest, Orchid
Wildwood Crest, Hollywood
Monmouth
Deal, Philips Ave
Deal, Deal Casino
Deal, Hathaway Avenue Beach
Loch Arbour, Village Beach Club
Long Branch, South Bath
Long Branch, Elberon Bch Clb
Long Branch, Ocean Beach Club
Long Branch, Joline
Long Branch, Atlantic Ave
Long Branch, North Bath
Neptune Township, Broadway
Sea Girt, Neptune Pl
Spring Lake, York Ave
Spring Lake, Brown Ave S
Ocean
Brick Township, Windward Beach
Pine Beach, East Beach Station Ave
Point Pleasant Beach, Maryland
Seaside Park, 5th Ave Bay Front
Toms River, Shelter Cove
 
2018-07-12 04:51:31 PM  
Delaware beaches are still free. Lately though we have been invaded by people who normally went to Jersey or Ocean City, MD. Instead they raised the cost of parking at the beach.
/will NEVER pay to get on a beach
 
2018-07-12 04:59:35 PM  

ChipNASA: Gleeman: You have to pay to access beaches in New Jersey? WTF?

How to avoid paying for NJ beach fees?
Go to Delaware.
Less POOP, clean beaches, less hassle.
TAH DAH!


We drive down to the OBX.  The experience is so different it's more than worth the drive.

fark beach tags.  fark every New Jersey town that charges access to what should be free.  Bunch of farking thieves that have utter contempt for the very people that bring in the most $$$ to their towns.

What galls me the most is that these towns don't pay to have their beaches repaired after hurricanes.  The state and federal government are on the hook for most of the bill.  IMHO, let them take care of their own beaches if they're going to charge access to it.

grrrrrr
 
2018-07-12 05:03:53 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 05:18:43 PM  
Pay to walk to a beach? Fark Jersey Shore. $75 for season parking pass. Free to walk or bike. Free after 5pm. Private beach @ work. Best part? Not New Jersey.
 
2018-07-12 05:22:46 PM  

HempHead: lilfry14: I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.

I thought only the beach below high tide was available to the public?


It depends on the beach. The coastal act of Ca says, "It extends inland to the first major ridgeline paralleling the sea or five miles from the mean high tide line of the sea, whichever is less, and in developed urban areas the zone generally extends inland less than 1,000 yards." So if there are natural dunes or cliffs, that area is also protected. When you get to places like Venice Beach with urban stuff right on the beach, not so much.

A big thing is you're also not allowed to block access to the beach either, so you couldn't try to create your quasi beach by building a 1000 yard hotel, or 1000 yards of houses that have fences that block the path to the beach. (A 10 foot walkway was forced to be built at Carbon Beach https://www.cnn.com/2015/07/17/​us/bill​ionaires-beach-malibu-public-access/in​dex.html )

This other billionaire bought property and closed off the only road to the beach that goes through his property and the courts have routinely ruled he can't do that, (although it keeps getting appealed. I think he is finally at the point where the Supreme Court is his last appeal as the Ca Supreme Court turned him down.) https://www.mercurynews.com/20​18/02/22​/martins-beach-silicon-valley-billiona​ire-takes-case-to-u-s-supreme-court/
 
2018-07-12 05:34:07 PM  

Gleeman: You have to pay to access beaches in New Jersey? WTF?


Who goes to a beach in New Jersey anyway? If I wanted to swim in poop, there is a sewer access out in the street in front of my house. And it won't cost me 10 dollars either.

\well the resulting hospital trip probably would.
 
2018-07-12 06:00:09 PM  

HempHead: [img.fark.net image 394x750]


be kize, resize
 
2018-07-12 06:14:18 PM  
I assume one of the purposes of the badge system is to reduce or prevent overcrowding on the beach.  They seemed to do all of these on virtually empty beaches, so maybe the checkers just don't care as long as it's not crowded.
 
2018-07-12 06:29:04 PM  

ChipNASA: no_tan_lines: I wondered if New York went back to their original plan when the poop trains were turned back from Alabama (?) Dump their shiat off the Jersey shore. I would not be surprised

Just FYI for everyone (There was a Fark Thread about this when it was posted last month. )

47 NJ Beaches At Risk Of Closing Due To Fecal Bacteria, DEP Says
Is this a record? One-third of NJ's beaches are on the brink of closing because of bacteria found in animal and human waste. Here's where.


I was aware. My son went to Point Pleasant for the 4th. (family obligation) He asked me how in the hell he gets out of going to the beach without causing aunt bootsie a case of the vapors. 'Bad Sushi - claim that.'  "Um Mom? Its 'the shore'.  No one cares if you have a case of bad sushi on the beach there. No one would notice."
/he's so damned smart that kid :)
He decided not to take any of the 10 pairs of board shorts he owns. 'Gosh darn! I forgot to pack a pair!"
//yeah, damned smart ...
 
2018-07-12 06:44:07 PM  

lilfry14: I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.


Agreed, but Hawaii is even better in regards to public beach access vs rights of property owners
 
2018-07-12 07:25:08 PM  

Gleeman: You have to pay to access beaches in New Jersey? WTF?


You also can't pump your own gas unless they have recently changed the law.
 
2018-07-12 07:49:37 PM  

ChipNASA: no_tan_lines: I wondered if New York went back to their original plan when the poop trains were turned back from Alabama (?) Dump their shiat off the Jersey shore. I would not be surprised

Just FYI for everyone (There was a Fark Thread about this when it was posted last month. )

47 NJ Beaches At Risk Of Closing Due To Fecal Bacteria, DEP Says
Is this a record? One-third of NJ's beaches are on the brink of closing because of bacteria found in animal and human waste. Here's where.

Here are the beaches:
Atlantic
Margate, Clermont Ave
Margate, Osborne
Margate, Gladstone Ave
Ventnor, Washington
Ventnor, Dorset
Ventnor, New Haven
Ventnor, Austin Ave
Albany Ave, Ocean Front
Atlantic City, Chelsea
Atlantic City, Missouri
Atlantic City, Dover Ave
Atlantic City, Bartram
Atlantic City, Illinois
Atlantic City, Kentucky
Atlantic City, Michigan
Atlantic City, Texas
Cape May
Cape May, Queen North
Cape May, Philadelphia
Cape May, Grant
Lower Township, Richmond Ave
Wildwood, Montgomery
Wildwood, Bennett
Wildwood Crest, Miami
Wildwood Crest, Lavendar
Wildwood Crest, Jefferson
Wildwood Crest, Forgetmenot
Wildwood Crest, Orchid
Wildwood Crest, Hollywood
Monmouth
Deal, Philips Ave
Deal, Deal Casino
Deal, Hathaway Avenue Beach
Loch Arbour, Village Beach Club
Long Branch, South Bath
Long Branch, Elberon Bch Clb
Long Branch, Ocean Beach Club
Long Branch, Joline
Long Branch, Atlantic Ave
Long Branch, North Bath
Neptune Township, Broadway
Sea Girt, Neptune Pl
Spring Lake, York Ave
Spring Lake, Brown Ave S
Ocean
Brick Township, Windward Beach
Pine Beach, East Beach Station Ave
Point Pleasant Beach, Maryland
Seaside Park, 5th Ave Bay Front
Toms River, Shelter Cove


There is no Atlantic City Texas,but you could pay up to $500 to get your dumb ass towed when you get stuck driving the beach north of South Padre.
 
2018-07-12 07:52:32 PM  
Oh,especially if you're from New Jersey
 
2018-07-12 10:34:50 PM  

lilfry14: HempHead: lilfry14: I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.

I thought only the beach below high tide was available to the public?

It depends on the beach. The coastal act of Ca says, "It extends inland to the first major ridgeline paralleling the sea or five miles from the mean high tide line of the sea, whichever is less, and in developed urban areas the zone generally extends inland less than 1,000 yards." So if there are natural dunes or cliffs, that area is also protected. When you get to places like Venice Beach with urban stuff right on the beach, not so much.

A big thing is you're also not allowed to block access to the beach either, so you couldn't try to create your quasi beach by building a 1000 yard hotel, or 1000 yards of houses that have fences that block the path to the beach. (A 10 foot walkway was forced to be built at Carbon Beach https://www.cnn.com/2015/07/17/u​s/billionaires-beach-malibu-public-acc​ess/index.html )

This other billionaire bought property and closed off the only road to the beach that goes through his property and the courts have routinely ruled he can't do that, (although it keeps getting appealed. I think he is finally at the point where the Supreme Court is his last appeal as the Ca Supreme Court turned him down.) https://www.mercurynews.com/201​8/02/22/martins-beach-silicon-valley-b​illionaire-takes-case-to-u-s-supreme-c​ourt/


Recently in the news is Private Beach in Santa Cruz.  They've been charging $100/year for a gate key and post a security guard at the gate.  They collect $50K a year to pay the $30K guard and then spend the rest on parties.
http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la​-​me-opal-cliffs-environmental-justice-2​018709-story.html
 
TKM
2018-07-12 10:56:03 PM  
I've been paid to hang out at the beach for the last 25 years.  Every grain between Mex and OC.

It's a miserable job but somebodie's got to do it.  (work truck AC kicks ass)
 
2018-07-12 10:58:29 PM  

spongeboob: Gleeman: You have to pay to access beaches in New Jersey? WTF?

You also can't pump your own gas unless they have recently changed the law.


In Ocean City, and probably a few other touristy places, you can't buy alcohol. It's nothing that can't be solved by driving outside the city limits, but within them you can't go out for dinner and order a beer or glass of wine.

Paying for beach access is only a seasonal thing, and doesn't even last through the end of September. A few of them are free:
https://www.jerseyfamilyfun.com/new-j​e​rsey-beaches/
 
6 days ago  

TomDooley: lilfry14: HempHead: lilfry14: I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.

I thought only the beach below high tide was available to the public?

It depends on the beach. The coastal act of Ca says, "It extends inland to the first major ridgeline paralleling the sea or five miles from the mean high tide line of the sea, whichever is less, and in developed urban areas the zone generally extends inland less than 1,000 yards." So if there are natural dunes or cliffs, that area is also protected. When you get to places like Venice Beach with urban stuff right on the beach, not so much.

A big thing is you're also not allowed to block access to the beach either, so you couldn't try to create your quasi beach by building a 1000 yard hotel, or 1000 yards of houses that have fences that block the path to the beach. (A 10 foot walkway was forced to be built at Carbon Beach https://www.cnn.com/2015/07/17/u​s/billionaires-beach-malibu-public-acc​ess/index.html )

This other billionaire bought property and closed off the only road to the beach that goes through his property and the courts have routinely ruled he can't do that, (although it keeps getting appealed. I think he is finally at the point where the Supreme Court is his last appeal as the Ca Supreme Court turned him down.) https://www.mercurynews.com/201​8/02/22/martins-beach-silicon-valley-b​illionaire-takes-case-to-u-s-supreme-c​ourt/

Recently in the news is Private Beach in Santa Cruz.  They've been charging $100/year for a gate key and post a security guard at the gate.  They collect $50K a year to pay the $30K guard and then spend the rest on parties.
http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-​me-opal-cliffs-environmental-justice-2​018709-story.html


Environmental justice has become the topic du jour since a new state lawexplicitly authorized the commission to consider not only impacts to the environment when making decisions, but also impacts on underrepresented communities.
 
6 days ago  

TomDooley: lilfry14: HempHead: lilfry14: I dislike a lot of California's laws, but one thing they got right is public beach access.

I thought only the beach below high tide was available to the public?

It depends on the beach. The coastal act of Ca says, "It extends inland to the first major ridgeline paralleling the sea or five miles from the mean high tide line of the sea, whichever is less, and in developed urban areas the zone generally extends inland less than 1,000 yards." So if there are natural dunes or cliffs, that area is also protected. When you get to places like Venice Beach with urban stuff right on the beach, not so much.

A big thing is you're also not allowed to block access to the beach either, so you couldn't try to create your quasi beach by building a 1000 yard hotel, or 1000 yards of houses that have fences that block the path to the beach. (A 10 foot walkway was forced to be built at Carbon Beach https://www.cnn.com/2015/07/17/u​s/billionaires-beach-malibu-public-acc​ess/index.html )

This other billionaire bought property and closed off the only road to the beach that goes through his property and the courts have routinely ruled he can't do that, (although it keeps getting appealed. I think he is finally at the point where the Supreme Court is his last appeal as the Ca Supreme Court turned him down.) https://www.mercurynews.com/201​8/02/22/martins-beach-silicon-valley-b​illionaire-takes-case-to-u-s-supreme-c​ourt/

Recently in the news is Private Beach in Santa Cruz.  They've been charging $100/year for a gate key and post a security guard at the gate.  They collect $50K a year to pay the $30K guard and then spend the rest on parties.
http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-​me-opal-cliffs-environmental-justice-2​018709-story.html


If they are charging to pay the security guard, it seems a like a $5-10 per visit with option to buy an annual pass is best. Hard to justify $100 to visit a beach once.

Did not know about this one, I hope their fee is shot down.
 
6 days ago  
super troopers its gods water
Youtube Xg3eWmqbo9s
 
6 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
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