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(Washington Post)   "An Ohio strip club law prohibits patrons from touching a nude or seminude dancer unless the patron is a member of the dancer's immediate family." So *that's* how it is their state   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Police, strip club, Ohio strip club, strip club law, Daniels, Detective, Sirens strip club, actress Stormy Daniels  
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2616 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2018 at 10:28 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



126 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2018-07-12 10:29:58 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 10:30:50 AM  
Right, so SHE gets arrested. Fark that whole consent thing.

Total bullshiat sting and panic move.
 
2018-07-12 10:31:26 AM  
It's to do with nudity, and its DURRRRR-DEEEEEEE!.

Silly old sex-hating prudes vote more than any other demographic.
 
2018-07-12 10:32:02 AM  
The pussy grabber eludes the law again.
 
2018-07-12 10:33:01 AM  
Vice laws need to end.
 
2018-07-12 10:33:30 AM  
Was Pence's wife there with him?
 
2018-07-12 10:33:40 AM  

Oysterman: The pussy grabber eludes the law again.


What that might look like:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 10:34:11 AM  
Oblig
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 10:34:44 AM  

houstondragon: Right, so SHE gets arrested. Fark that whole consent thing.

Total bullshiat sting and panic move.


This^This^This

"The problem isn't the lawbreaker, it's the victim for allowing it to happen."
 
2018-07-12 10:35:25 AM  
Just get around the law by building the Strip Club in an Olive Garden.  Because, when you are here, you're family.
 
2018-07-12 10:36:26 AM  
Clifford, the big blonde stripper.....
 
2018-07-12 10:36:27 AM  
Free with every payment for a private dance:
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 10:36:44 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [img.fark.net image 425x602]


The russians have to have something on the guy, maybe they found some shiat out in 87 about him and this daughter he can't keep his hands off.
 
2018-07-12 10:37:00 AM  
Next up: detectives infiltrate a snuff group, get initiated, walk free.
 
2018-07-12 10:37:12 AM  
Having been to Scarlett's in Toledo for my cousin's bachelor party, I call bullshiat. That's not how it goes in the clubs at all.
 
2018-07-12 10:38:31 AM  
bullshiat setup
 
2018-07-12 10:38:49 AM  
From what I read the cops should be arrested for touching her.
 
2018-07-12 10:39:01 AM  

Maker_of_Roads: Mad_Radhu: [img.fark.net image 425x602]

The russians have to have something on the guy, maybe they found some shiat out in 87 about him and this daughter he can't keep his hands off.


Ivanka is Barron's Mom.
Got it.
/now if we could only get Obama's *REAL* burth certificate from Kenya and Donald's DNA.
 
2018-07-12 10:39:16 AM  

Resident Muslim: Free with every payment for a private dance:
[media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 620x479]


Is that a rush-in adoption?
 
2018-07-12 10:40:30 AM  
This is how the immoral right silences people.  When they can't win honestly they make up shiat.  They pervert and distort circumstances to make sure the other side doesn't forget they are the 'good' people and people they don't like are bad.
 
2018-07-12 10:40:40 AM  

houstondragon: Right, so SHE gets arrested. Fark that whole consent thing.

Total bullshiat sting and panic move.


Yeah, apparently it was an undercover cop too.
 
2018-07-12 10:41:36 AM  
Have the bouncer at the front door get a Minister's license. $100 marriage ceremony in the VIP room... and then some honeymoon antics.

Have the DJ become a muslim cleric; and perform a timely shariah divorce when the John runs out of cash and atm/credit card withdrawals are denied.

Eat voila! Family
 
2018-07-12 10:42:41 AM  
During my bachelor party, my friends proceeded to get me really drunk at a local bar. I was sloshed. (not a drinker) and when we were done doing shots at the bar, they threw me in a taxi where I passed out.

When I awoke, I was sitting in a chair behind a curtain. A huge burly man was standing next to me.

"Make sure you sit on your hands!" He yelled at me. "Whatever you do, do not touch the girls!"

Next thing you know, I smell the cheap stripper perfume and see 3 topless girls starting to surround me. I hear loud music and a guy over the PA...

"Laddies and Gentleman, a bachelor is ready to entertain you, along with "Crystal, Cheryl and Amber"

The curtain opens up and I realize what's happening. I made sure to sit on my hands. What seemed like 30 mins turned out to be 5 minutes of these strippers dancing around me.

When it was over, the curtain came down, the girls walked away and big burly man comes over to me...

"Wow, you actually did sit on your hands. Usually I have to come out there and remind people not to."
 
2018-07-12 10:43:01 AM  
Must be a tough beat, the "undercover at the strip club waiting for the stripper to touch me" beat. Only the most accomplished veteran officers get this potentially deadly assignment. Often they must remain undercover for months, returning to the strip club night after night, having to carry hundreds of dollar bills (with sequential serial numbers of course). Ordinary men would shrink from this assignment, but these brave officers rise up, erect and proud, to meat meet the challenge. Rest easy, Ohio residents, for no stripper shall grab your junk as long as these men remain vigilant.
 
2018-07-12 10:45:52 AM  

ChipNASA: Maker_of_Roads: Mad_Radhu: [img.fark.net image 425x602]

The russians have to have something on the guy, maybe they found some shiat out in 87 about him and this daughter he can't keep his hands off.

Ivanka is Barron's Mom.
Got it.
/now if we could only get Obama's *REAL* burth certificate from Kenya and Donald's DNA.


Just saiyan, at this point the pee pee tape is microscopic potatoes in comparison to shiat that goes down twice a week in this presidency. There has to be something completely repulsive even to his rabid fanbase that they are holding over him, the only thing that makes sense (that, or he is in debt up to his eyeballs and doesn't actually spend his own money anymore).

Pedophilic incest would probably fill that role nicely.
 
2018-07-12 10:46:28 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: From what I read the cops should be arrested for touching her.


Now you're getting to the "why" behind the "what??" in the headline, and the law as written.  Basically it's all about whether someone has a legitimate and legal (not prohibited) reason to have contact with a nude or semi-nude dancer.  Presumption is that patrons of the establishment would only have illegal reasons to have physical contact.  However, certain individuals might have presumptively legal reasons, such as a law enforcement officer performing an arrest.  Also, as the law states, a family member would (one hopes) be presumed NOT to be there for the prurient interest of getting off on watching their family member shake their junk around, but the two might have some other non-illegal reason to have physical contact (i.e. mother/child, helping with costume changes or makeup, protection, husband/wife, etc.).  The law is written that way not for ewwwww reasons but precisely because it presumes a family member is not being gross, but everyone else in the strip joint IS being gross.
 
2018-07-12 10:49:00 AM  

Resident Muslim: Free with every payment for a private dance:
[media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 620x479]


I had a very "thrifty" coworker who rented a few rooms in his house. The town issued a cease and desist order as he was zoned single family. He adopted his tenets and then brought them to the company family picnic
 
2018-07-12 10:49:50 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 10:49:51 AM  
"Help!  The stripper tugged my cock!"
-No one, never.
 
2018-07-12 10:50:02 AM  
My question is this: if the law prohibits patrons from touching the dancer, why was the dancer arrested if she was (as they claim) the one doing the touching? The patrons were neither nude, semi-nude, nor dancing.
 
2018-07-12 10:51:01 AM  

steklo: During my bachelor party, my friends proceeded to get me really drunk at a local bar. I was sloshed. (not a drinker) and when we were done doing shots at the bar, they threw me in a taxi where I passed out.

When I awoke, I was sitting in a chair behind a curtain. A huge burly man was standing next to me.

"Make sure you sit on your hands!" He yelled at me. "Whatever you do, do not touch the girls!"

Next thing you know, I smell the cheap stripper perfume and see 3 topless girls starting to surround me. I hear loud music and a guy over the PA...

"Laddies and Gentleman, a bachelor is ready to entertain you, along with "Crystal, Cheryl and Amber"

The curtain opens up and I realize what's happening. I made sure to sit on my hands. What seemed like 30 mins turned out to be 5 minutes of these strippers dancing around me.

When it was over, the curtain came down, the girls walked away and big burly man comes over to me...

"Wow, you actually did sit on your hands. Usually I have to come out there and remind people not to."


Same thing happened at a bachelor party I was at....well not really. The party was at the bachelor's house and the strippers were actually hookers. The bachelor was on his back on his weight bench with one hooker riding him like a cowgirl and another straddling his face (just totally farking gross). His soon to be father in law walked in and shouted "Quit hogging all the whores". It was a very very weird party and I left not long after that. The end of the story? That marriage lasted about a year.
 
2018-07-12 10:52:34 AM  
We are family
I touch all my sisters woo wee!
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(Fly!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(All!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose
[Chorus: Repeat 2X]
Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(High!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(We!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family jewel
 
2018-07-12 10:54:53 AM  

phimuskapsi: Having been to Scarlett's in Toledo for my cousin's bachelor party, I call bullshiat. That's not how it goes in the clubs at all.


I'm sure the law is there but it just hasn't been enforced in 20-30 years.  Back in the '70s my hometown strip clubs had very strict no touching policies. I haven't run into a club like that in 30 years.
 
2018-07-12 10:56:49 AM  
I'm... Nope. I'm not going to be partisan about it.

If a lady is going to have a big political scandal and then do a show where she strips across America and doesn't carefully watch for all the little prude laws across the wild Protestant landscape, her carelessness merits her error.

But that's okay. It's just a misdemeanor. It gets partisan if they push the penalties to the max and weasel in some lockup time instead of just letting her get off with a fine.
 
2018-07-12 11:00:31 AM  

Yellow Beard: The bachelor was on his back on his weight bench with one hooker riding him like a cowgirl and another straddling his face (just totally farking gross).


i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 11:01:06 AM  
static.stereogum.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-12 11:01:24 AM  
JFC ... this whole thing reeks of stripper scent and glitter ...

"According to an article published last year in The Columbus Dispatch, the law, which also restricts the hours of operation for strip clubs and adult book stores, is rarely enforced.

The article quoted the Franklin County Sheriff's office as saying in the decade since the law was enacted, it had never had "any complaints or reasons to apply" it.


"We have gone back as far as we have records for, and nothing has been found," a spokesman for the sheriff's office, Marc Gofstein, told the Dispatch."
 
2018-07-12 11:02:24 AM  
Factions snitch on each other all the time when someone is making extra time by breaking the law.
 
2018-07-12 11:02:33 AM  

Cheron: Resident Muslim: Free with every payment for a private dance:
[media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 620x479]

I had a very "thrifty" coworker who rented a few rooms in his house. The town issued a cease and desist order as he was zoned single family. He adopted his tenets and then brought them to the company family picnic


One should always aspire to adopt the finest tenets. Choose your ideologies wisely.
 
2018-07-12 11:06:06 AM  
I invite conservative farkers to explain how a law like this aligns with their opinions about small government, limited government, and personal freedom.
 
2018-07-12 11:08:08 AM  

v2micca: Just get around the law by building the Strip Club in an Olive Garden.  Because, when you are here, you're family.


Plus, unlimited bread sticks.

/So you always know where that yeasty smell is coming from.
 
2018-07-12 11:09:58 AM  

Swampmaster: Have the bouncer at the front door get a Minister's license. $100 marriage ceremony in the VIP room... and then some honeymoon antics.

Have the DJ become a muslim cleric; and perform a timely shariah divorce when the John runs out of cash and atm/credit card withdrawals are denied.

Eat voila! Family


So most of the already married guys will get arrested for bigamy?
 
2018-07-12 11:10:55 AM  

houstondragon: Right, so SHE gets arrested. Fark that whole consent thing.

Total bullshiat sting and panic move.


Except according to the police report she touched the cop, not the other way around.

img.fark.netView Full Size



The Dog Ate My Homework: I invite conservative farkers to explain how a law like this aligns with their opinions about small government, limited government, and personal freedom.


It's not conservatism, it's puritanism.  Two consenting adults not harming anyone should never be illegal.
 
2018-07-12 11:12:28 AM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: I invite conservative farkers to explain how a law like this aligns with their opinions about small government, limited government, and personal freedom.


Conservative or Liberal it doesn't matter as much as a law supported by wives who's husbands have wandering eyes. Her husband, the player that she married, is not going to stay loyal if for a couple of bucks he can go to the bar at the corner and check the oil on the motorboat.

It is how I have very liberal friend who are pro-life or are pro-gun. It's not all cut and dry.
 
2018-07-12 11:12:49 AM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: I invite conservative farkers to explain how a law like this aligns with their opinions about small government, limited government, and personal freedom.


I think you need to understand that there is a difference between Republicans and conservatives.  True conservatism is wild nature, and in wild nature, there is only violence and nudity, as one organism screws another in order to survive.

The Republican Party lost its way the second it adopted agriculture and should be ignored outright.
 
2018-07-12 11:13:01 AM  

Yellow Beard: Same thing happened at a bachelor party I was at....well not really. The party was at the bachelor's house and the strippers were actually hookers. The bachelor was on his back on his weight bench with one hooker riding him like a cowgirl and another straddling his face (just totally farking gross). His soon to be father in law walked in and shouted "Quit hogging all the whores". It was a very very weird party and I left not long after that. The end of the story? That marriage lasted about a year.


I play in a weekly rock band. The other members of the band are independently wealthy and quite often they show off their wealth by providing expensive Scotch and exotic drugs for rehearsal. Being new to this band, one day it was the lead guitarists birthday and they were making plans.

"We should get some hookers." Said the drummer. "I know a guy that can arrange that" He continued saying.

I walked away. I didn't want to hear the rest.

The following week, I show up early to rehearsal and there are two women I've never met before. I assumed they were the hookers.

"So, are you here for the birthday boy?" I asked nervously. "I guess you do a lot of these things in your line of work."

The one woman responded; "No."
The other woman asks; "Line of work? What are you implying?"

"Oh, nothing. Never mind." I said.

Just then the drummer shows up.

"Hey Steklo, let me introduce you to my wife and her best friend, they came here tonight to hear us play."
 
2018-07-12 11:13:19 AM  
Okay, so this happened.  What will the fallout be?

For one thing, that club is going to lose a lot of business.
Next, Stormy is going to have to be more careful about where she performs.  She will likely have to have a signed contract up front keeping her safe from any persecution.
 
2018-07-12 11:14:16 AM  
So nobody in these comments is pointing out that the dancer arrested is Stormy Daniels? And that this looks a lot like a setup to charge her with criminal behavior and discredit her allegations against Trump?
 
2018-07-12 11:15:15 AM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: I invite conservative farkers to explain how a law like this aligns with their opinions about small government, limited government, and personal freedom.


I invite you to explain how what happens in a county that voted 59.8% Democratic vs 33.9% Republican in the last presidential election is the fault of conservatives.
 
2018-07-12 11:16:00 AM  

Glorious Golden Ass: houstondragon: Right, so SHE gets arrested. Fark that whole consent thing.

Total bullshiat sting and panic move.

This^This^This

"The problem isn't the lawbreaker, it's the victim for allowing it to happen."


That's a bullshiat argument, the argument to be made is past practice.  The argument to be made is you can't have a crime with no victims.  A guy or girl in a strip club is not a sexual predator because the stripper plucks a dollar bill out of his or her teeth with their tits.  Vice versa the stripper isn't a predator either because any reasonable person would expect that to happen too.
 
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