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(Change.org) Weeners Vive le cocque. Subby has a giant metal rooster in his front yard and some folks want to move it to the back yard. Petition signatures might help, but how else can we keep the cock in the front?   ( change.org) divider line
    More: Weeners, Freddy, Privacy policy, petition starter, tall metal rooster, Privacy Policy, Brent Schneeman, Household Enforcement Agents, Change.org's Terms  
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333 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 12 Jul 2018 at 10:35 AM (5 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
5 days ago  
Move it to the back. Then start growing a topiary penis out front.
 
5 days ago  
Your neighbors obviously don't want to see your cock from their front windows.
 
5 days ago  
"Household Enforcement Agents"?

You mean your wife and children?
 
5 days ago  
Invite children from the neighborhood to sign their names and paint sections of the base.  Something to divide the neighborhood and make them fight each other instead of uniting against you.
 
5 days ago  
First and foremost, over local spousal ordinances.
 
5 days ago  
I say split the cock in two. One gnarly half in front and one in back. Make everyone unhappy.
 
5 days ago  
Man some people have no lives, who the hell cares if you have a giant rooster on your front lawn? It looks pretty cool too.
 
5 days ago  
Move it to the back yard very slowly the first time. After a few moves to the back, everyone will enjoy it.
 
5 days ago  
Get a lawyer, then hang a sign on it that is clearly political speech. Something like "[Redacted politician] is too chicken to debate me."
Political speech has great first amendment protection.
 
5 days ago  
 
5 days ago  
Say it's in support of #metoo or lbgt rights andc watch people back the fark off
 
5 days ago  

PreMortem: Move it to the back yard very slowly the first time. After a few moves to the back, everyone will enjoy it.


And replace it with a sign saying "The big red cock is now near the rear entrance."
 
5 days ago  
Hang some truck nuts from it. That'll learn 'em.
 
5 days ago  
Do you live in an HOA or condo? If yes, then obey the rules. You are free to request the Board change the rules, or at your next AGM run for election on the platform of changing the rules, but until the rule is changed you need to follow it.

/Personally I don't like oppressive rules telling me how to use my own property so I don't live in a condo or HOA.
 
5 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
5 days ago  

Tyrosine: Do you live in an HOA or condo? If yes, then obey the rules. You are free to request the Board change the rules, or at your next AGM run for election on the platform of changing the rules, but until the rule is changed you need to follow it.

/Personally I don't like oppressive rules telling me how to use my own property so I don't live in a condo or HOA.


While I hate most of the things that HOAs do I don't want my neighborhood to start looking like this:
img.fark.netView Full Size
or this:
img.fark.netView Full Size


Setting a limit on what can be seen from the street protects the property values of the neighborhood.

Though I would forgive yo if you substituted the chicken for these:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
5 days ago  
Build a giant wooden badger....
 
5 days ago  

Slypork: While I hate most of the things that HOAs do I don't want my neighborhood to start looking like this:


Why not? Who gives a shiat what somebody else yard looks like so long as it's not attracting vermin or spreading weeds or in some other way harming anyone else?

Slypork: Setting a limit on what can be seen from the street protects the property values of the neighborhood.


Only because people are idiots.  Gaudily decorated houses don't make the neighborhood less safe, farther from amenities, or in any way less functional.
 
TWX
5 days ago  

Egoy3k: Slypork: While I hate most of the things that HOAs do I don't want my neighborhood to start looking like this:

Why not? Who gives a shiat what somebody else yard looks like so long as it's not attracting vermin or spreading weeds or in some other way harming anyone else?


Because inevitably it will attract vermin, and because often the people that will take their yards into that sort of direction won't stop with their yards.

Egoy3k: Slypork: Setting a limit on what can be seen from the street protects the property values of the neighborhood.

Only because people are idiots.  Gaudily decorated houses don't make the neighborhood less safe, farther from amenities, or in any way less functional.


Don't confuse idiocy with taste.

Additionally, as that stuff, usually stuff never designed to be outside, wears in the weather, it will break and become dangerous to anyone that wanders into yards. Since we generally accept that little kids will wander into open areas like front yards, and since property owners are routinely found liable for injuries sustained on their property even if they did not invite or otherwise welcome the injured party to the property, it's in the property owner's interest to not make their front yards into dangerous places.
 
5 days ago  

Egoy3k: Slypork: While I hate most of the things that HOAs do I don't want my neighborhood to start looking like this:

Why not? Who gives a shiat what somebody else yard looks like so long as it's not attracting vermin or spreading weeds or in some other way harming anyone else?

Slypork: Setting a limit on what can be seen from the street protects the property values of the neighborhood.

Only because people are idiots.  Gaudily decorated houses don't make the neighborhood less safe, farther from amenities, or in any way less functional.


Not everyone is as free thinking as you and some people don't want to live next to the Beverly Hillbillies. That's why HOAs exist and like it or not there's a growing market for them. Personally I would never buy at an HOA but I do understand the attraction. Fortunately such onerous rules are easy to avoid: Don't buy at an HOA unless you want to obey the rules. But if you do choose to buy an HOA governed property that's a choice you make and you should expect to have the rules enforced.
 
5 days ago  

Egoy3k: Slypork: While I hate most of the things that HOAs do I don't want my neighborhood to start looking like this:

Why not? Who gives a shiat what somebody else yard looks like so long as it's not attracting vermin or spreading weeds or in some other way harming anyone else?

Slypork: Setting a limit on what can be seen from the street protects the property values of the neighborhood.

Only because people are idiots.  Gaudily decorated houses don't make the neighborhood less safe, farther from amenities, or in any way less functional.


Our neighborhood is boring. We are a small subdivision with a bunch of 3-4 bedroom houses a decent size front and back yard, 2 car garages, etc. People bought here for stability, good schools, decent property values, low taxes, etc. If we wanted to live in areas with eclectic lawn decorations, color schemes found in Walt Disney's vomit and people expressing themselves via artwork, we would have bought there. Instead we wanted things dull.

In my old neighborhood we had a house where the owner thought it was cute to decorate their front yard with these:
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
Started with one, then two. Then came garden gnomes, flamingos and a fountain with a statue of a boy pissing. Soon the front of her house was filled with kitsch. She was happy as hell and thought it looked wonderful. Meantime the neighbors on either side were trying to sell their houses but having problems. The real estate agents kept saying that potential buyers thought the woman's lawn was an eyesore and cluttered. They finally sold but it took a horribly long time and they had to keep dropping their price.

What if instead of a giant metal rooster they put a large crucifix on the front lawn? I don't mean a cross, I mean the cross plus JC nailed to it in the bloody passion of his crucifixion. In addition to artistic expression it's also religious expression. Would you want to see that in the morning as you're heading off to work? Or how about a mannequin dressed in a leather bustier, thigh high leather boots and carrying a riding crop? Not hurting anyone, it's not nude or more offensive than what you can watch on some primetime network shows. It is, however, going to cause potential home buyers to wonder just what kind of person lives there and question what kind of neighbor they might be. And we all know what happens when a person puts a Confederate flag in front of their house.

As part of a polite society you have to think about how what you do will impact others.
 
5 days ago  

Slypork: As part of a polite society you have to think about how what you do will impact others.


The reverse is also true. You need to get over it when people do things you don't like if they don't harm you in any material way.  Would I like to see those things on my neighbors lawn? Probably not.  Would I consider being authoritarian about it and making up rules for busybody retirees to enforce? No. I'd put on my big boy pants, get over myself and realize that it's not about me, doesn't harm and and ignore it.
 
5 days ago  

miscreant: http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/21/and​-​thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-you​r-battles/


I can't figure out whether the author has a magical vagina or whether they just have too many kids for her husband to afford leaving.
 
5 days ago  

Tyrosine: That's why HOAs exist and like it or not there's a growing market for them.


Builders are why.

HOAs should be counted as unconscionable terms barred from transfer like racial redlining is.
 
5 days ago  

Egoy3k: Slypork: As part of a polite society you have to think about how what you do will impact others.

The reverse is also true. You need to get over it when people do things you don't like if they don't harm you in any material way.  Would I like to see those things on my neighbors lawn? Probably not.  Would I consider being authoritarian about it and making up rules for busybody retirees to enforce? No. I'd put on my big boy pants, get over myself and realize that it's not about me, doesn't harm and and ignore it.


When my property values drop because my neighbor's lawn looks like Fred Sanford's junk yard then I am being harmed in a material way. I don't care if the inside of their house is filled with paintings of naked clowns blowing Shetland ponies and they regularly binge watch Gunsmoke while smearing Hellman's mayonnaise in their Depends. But if what they do outside causes me to lose money, then I'm not a happy camper.
 
5 days ago  

Slypork: Egoy3k: Slypork: As part of a polite society you have to think about how what you do will impact others.

The reverse is also true. You need to get over it when people do things you don't like if they don't harm you in any material way.  Would I like to see those things on my neighbors lawn? Probably not.  Would I consider being authoritarian about it and making up rules for busybody retirees to enforce? No. I'd put on my big boy pants, get over myself and realize that it's not about me, doesn't harm and and ignore it.

When my property values drop because my neighbor's lawn looks like Fred Sanford's junk yard then I am being harmed in a material way. I don't care if the inside of their house is filled with paintings of naked clowns blowing Shetland ponies and they regularly binge watch Gunsmoke while smearing Hellman's mayonnaise in their Depends. But if what they do outside causes me to lose money, then I'm not a happy camper.


Still not your property.  But you want to control it like it is your property.  Interesting.
 
5 days ago  

This text is now purple: Tyrosine: That's why HOAs exist and like it or not there's a growing market for them.

Builders are why.


No they're not. The fact that HOAs are often voluntarily created in mature neighborhoods, long after the builder has left, proves your point to be false. Even if builders were driving the phenomenon purchasers still have the choice not to buy or, if the HOA concept is so unpopular, they could disband the HOA after the builder is no longer a majority owner in a neighborhood. That's not happening in large numbers. Know why? A lot of people are willing to put up with petty rules if it means not dealing with trashy people.

HOAs should be counted as unconscionable terms barred from transfer like racial redlining is.

On what basis? Discrimination based on poor taste? There is a world of difference between refusing to sell to Jews or people of African decent and telling Skeeter and Lulabelle that they can't keep their used carburetor collection on the front lawn next to their 10' high illuminated plastic statue of Jebus.

Look, I don't like HOAs either and I sure as hell would never live in one, but I'm in property management and I can tell you there's huge demand from consumers for properties where there's guaranteed conformity and standards and this is being driven by middle class buyers, not builders. When problems do crop up 99.99999% of the time it's because someone was too lazy to read the HOA rules before purchasing.
 
5 days ago  
It's irritating that people feel the need to take the character out of neighborhoods. It's also irritating when people decide the front yard should look like a burned out thrift store.
 
5 days ago  
When people take up arms against harmless situations or things that are your business, you've an obligation to remind them where their place in life remains.  There's only one thing many of your jack-off countrymen understand, and that is revenge. they'll never respect you in the future should you shirk now; make them regret ever prying into your business.

CSB:  i have a neighbor whose kids park their shiatbox cars and work on them in front of my house.  They spill all kinds of fluids and leave them there.  They've no intention to stop or clean it up; this week marks the fifth incident.  So i went and purchased clay chips (cat litter) and a gallon of solvent.  Cleaned it all up, and dumped the oil-soaked litter right on their lawn.

I think they've finally figured it out.
 
5 days ago  

Tyrosine: There is a world of difference between refusing to sell to Jews or people of African decent and telling Skeeter and Lulabelle that they can't keep their used carburetor collection on the front lawn next to their 10' high illuminated plastic statue of Jebus.


It's weird that I've lived in non-HOA neighborhoods my entire life, and have yet to encounter used carburetor collections or 10' plastic Jebuses.

But, if others want to fork over thousands of dollars in HOA, and basically live like renters in their own home, out of a paralyzing fear of what "those people" might do to their own lawns meh...more power to them. Keeps the pants-shiatting busybodies out of my neighborhood at least.
 
4 days ago  
I used to walk my dogs through a neighborhood that apparently had an HOA rule against satellite dishes.  This was back in the day when Satellite dishes were about 12 feet wide, not the little DirectTV types we have now.

Was it a total lack of satellite dishes in this neighborhood that clued me in?  No.

Apparently the HOA did not have a rule against having an old hearse parked in front of your house with nasty spray painted slogans all over it about evil HOAs and a huge satellite dish mounted on the roof.
 
4 days ago  
Circulate a petition:

"Would you prefer my cock in the rear?"
 
4 days ago  
Put it on the roof as a giant weather cock so it can turn with the winds.
 
4 days ago  
Nice rooster, by the way.

You will be glad I didn't say cock. If not today, then soon.
 
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