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(USA Today)   Having a bad day? Made a mistake at work? Well buck up, it could be worse. A whole lot worse, in fact. Come feel superior and celebrate some of the biggest product failures of all time. OF ALL TIME   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Coors Brewing Company, product, company, product flops, biggest product flops, Arch Deluxe, United States, social media  
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13009 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jul 2018 at 1:24 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-07-11 10:27:47 PM  
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2018-07-11 10:28:44 PM  
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2018-07-11 10:32:16 PM  
26. Google+

I gave up on that after roughly 20 minutes of searching in vain trying to find friends I KNEW were already on it.


18. EZ Squirt

I got some of the green stuff as a gag gift for a girlfriend who hated ketchup. Along with a "Happy Birthday, Grandpa" card and a picture of Mike the headless chicken.
 
2018-07-11 10:44:03 PM  
A friend works for Microsoft, several years ago I was visiting and heard one of her kids ask the other "hey, can you hand me my Zune?" and you could just feel how much all of them hated everything about the question.
 
2018-07-11 10:55:31 PM  
No Segway? Considering the hype it has to be considered a huge failure. Are they even made anymore?
 
2018-07-11 10:58:05 PM  
FARK YOU DREAMCAST WAS AWESOME AND HAD MANY GREAT GAMES!
 
2018-07-11 11:06:57 PM  
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2018-07-11 11:20:12 PM  
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2018-07-11 11:28:00 PM  
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2018-07-11 11:39:36 PM  
If they included the USFL, they should have mentioned the XFL.
 
2018-07-11 11:44:24 PM  
Is Trump on the list?
/dnrtfa
//yup I went there
 
2018-07-11 11:45:43 PM  
6. Cheetos Lip Balm

That wasn't a product, it was an advertisement.

Harley Davidson is one of the most iconic and valuable brands in the world.

Iconic? Harley Davidson makes me think of two things: meth smuggling and old people wearing POW/MIA patches.

The chips, which were made with the fat substitute olestra, were marketed as a healthy snacking alternative. While WOW! Chips were an initial success...

The real story here is olestra, you f*cking idiot.

25. Relenza

And yet thalidomide is no where on this list.

McDonald's introduced several failed products throughout its 60-year history, but none so monumental as the Arch Deluxe.

McDonald's constantly cycles through new offerings. You might as well list every failed prototype light bulb Edison made if you're sinking to this level.

33. 47 Ronin

This is the movie you picked? Sure, it's near the top of the list in the relevant Wikipedia article, but those are mostly estimates thanks to the opacity of Hollywood accounting.

47. Mars Needs Moms

Statistically there's virtually no basis for this being ranked 14 spots below 47 Ronin, other than the author's inability to interpret tables of data.

48. EONS

A failed web startup? Say it ain't so. I'd suggest you check with pets.com, but I had to administer the Old Yeller protocol.
 
2018-07-11 11:50:45 PM  

Sgt Otter: If they included the USFL, they should have mentioned the XFL.


CSB:

Years ago I worked for a now-defunct company that performed pre-employment screenings. I remember talking to a job applicant that was applying for some sh*t sales rep job at a cell phone store (name purposefully omitted). His resume included his experience as an XFL player.

I hated that f*cking job.
 
2018-07-11 11:59:57 PM  
I liked the Zune and the Dreamcast.

/I did own an iPod before the Zune
//I preferred the Zune
 
2018-07-12 12:21:58 AM  
I enjoyed Terra Nova.
 
2018-07-12 12:25:02 AM  
Atari Game Over Trailer
Youtube lnyoyWpqKJI


There was a good documentary a few years ago about the Atari ET game debacle
 
2018-07-12 12:33:50 AM  

Zulu_as_Kono: A friend works for Microsoft, several years ago I was visiting and heard one of her kids ask the other "hey, can you hand me my Zune?" and you could just feel how much all of them hated everything about the question.


Chuck S02E05 HD | Rush -- Tom Sawyer [Got Them All On My Zune]
Youtube nUHLIFDtT9s
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2018-07-12 12:34:42 AM  
Just as the Betamax/VHS battle was almost over, the US Navy put out a bid for entertainment systems for ships and subs.

Some small company that was sitting on a warehouse full of unwanted Betamax units put in a bid that met all of the US Navy's requirements, and was lower than all other VHS-related bids.

So for several years, ships and subs only had Betamax-available movies.

/csb
 
2018-07-12 12:36:34 AM  

fastibartslart: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/lnyoyWpq​KJI]
There was a good documentary a few years ago about the Atari ET game debacle


Some people also fixed a bunch of bugs and turned it into a decent (for Atari 2600) video game.
 
2018-07-12 12:44:38 AM  

fastibartslart: I enjoyed Terra Nova.


#MeToo
 
2018-07-12 01:01:12 AM  
6. Cheetos Lip Balm

Company:
Frito-Lay
Year introduced: 2005
What it was: Lip balm

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Sure this failed at the time, but the skin creme took off like gangbusters.

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2018-07-12 01:24:42 AM  

Therion: fastibartslart: I enjoyed Terra Nova.

#MeToo


#TooSoon
 
2018-07-12 01:30:20 AM  

puffy999: [images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 425x425]


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2018-07-12 01:31:15 AM  
That was actually quite a good comprehensive list that brought back some memories intentionally forgotten.  Thank gawd it wasn't a slideshow
 
2018-07-12 01:35:50 AM  
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2018-07-12 01:37:30 AM  
I suspect that new car rental service "Turo" will be added to the list.
Are these people serious?
 
2018-07-12 01:38:45 AM  
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2018-07-12 01:41:52 AM  
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Ted talks.  Not sure if a product in strictest sense, but still.
 
2018-07-12 01:46:40 AM  
I ,for one, liked the Arch Deluxe. And I can't believe my dad was enough of a computer-dork at the time to get an Apple Lisa
 
2018-07-12 01:50:45 AM  

ChimpNipples: Is Trump on the list?
/dnrtfa
//yup I went there


Yes, actually.
 
2018-07-12 01:51:54 AM  
The Apple Newton (get it?) was actually good, it was just ahead of it's time.

People weren't yet organizing their lives on palmtop computers.

Unlike now, where we LIVE our lives on them.
 
2018-07-12 01:59:06 AM  
Atari 7800.

I had one as a kid.

Decent system that was supposed to be the replacement for the 2600 and was backwards compatible (which is the reason my parents bought it.)  Got shelved during the video game crash of '83, and by the time Atari got their poop in a pile and released it Nintendo was eating everyone's lunch with the NES.
 
2018-07-12 01:59:54 AM  
New Coke was a diversion tactic to hide the fact that Coke was changing its recipe from cane sugar to high fructose corn syrup.

It was designed to fail, so Coke could then "switch back to the original recipe" ... not.
 
2018-07-12 02:01:05 AM  

studebaker hoch: The Apple Newton (get it?) was actually good, it was just ahead of it's time.

People weren't yet organizing their lives on palmtop computers.

Unlike now, where we LIVE our lives on them.


It evan had Autocorrect.
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2018-07-12 02:03:57 AM  

Twitch Boy: Atari 7800.

I had one as a kid.

Decent system that was supposed to be the replacement for the 2600 and was backwards compatible (which is the reason my parents bought it.)  Got shelved during the video game crash of '83, and by the time Atari got their poop in a pile and released it Nintendo was eating everyone's lunch with the NES.


I had a Commodore 128.
 
2018-07-12 02:05:41 AM  
I don't normally bother commenting on listacles. But this one was on one page and easy to scroll/skim through.

44. Too HumanI remember this clusterfark, and since the gaming industry is close to my heart, I would like to present two others that I didn't notice on the list in TFA.


Phantom gaming console (I still have a glowing helmet shirt from an E3 long past).
The lapboard was actually decent. Everything else though, not so much.

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And this thing was just a bad idea from the start.

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But it spawned one of my favorite memes at the time...

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2018-07-12 02:20:38 AM  
I survived 12/31/08.

/Still miss my Zune. 

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2018-07-12 02:24:56 AM  

arcgear: [img.fark.net image 425x716]

Ted talks.  Not sure if a product in strictest sense, but still.


Ugh.  I had an online class where at least 20% of the questions on the weekly quiz were from some pretentious, supercilious TED Talk.

Thank Christ for keyword searchable transcripts.
 
2018-07-12 02:39:55 AM  
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Had trouble catching on, for some reason...
 
2018-07-12 02:51:33 AM  

RedRudy: [img.fark.net image 425x278]
Had trouble catching on, for some reason...


Not smoked long enough?

/bbq
 
2018-07-12 02:56:39 AM  
This list was compiled by morons.  No Therac 25?  No Ariane 5?  And it calls laserdisc and betamax product failures?  If anything they're marketing failures, but they were superior products.
 
2018-07-12 03:01:04 AM  
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2018-07-12 03:01:44 AM  
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He told you he was hardcore.
 
2018-07-12 03:02:47 AM  
And let's not forget the Atari Jaguar, or the Neo Geo.  Both were actually decent consoles but poorly timed and poorly supported.
 
2018-07-12 03:07:09 AM  
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2018-07-12 03:14:33 AM  

EdwardTellerhands: [edm2.com image 180x216]


I think I had an  IBM PS/2 model 60 that ran OS/2.
I have no love for Micro Channel Architecture.
/Speaking of, why isn't MCA in that list?
 
2018-07-12 03:17:14 AM  

Magnifico Giganticus: This list was compiled by morons.  No Therac 25?  No Ariane 5?  And it calls laserdisc and betamax product failures?  If anything they're marketing failures, but they were superior products.


Therac 25 and Ariane 5 were engineering failures, and frequently show up on lists of such. The DeHavilland Comet is probably the closest one on this list. But at least Ariane 5 did fine after the issues were solved, and I believe Therac 25 was fitted with a mechanical interlock and continued service.
 
2018-07-12 03:17:20 AM  

C18H27NO3: EdwardTellerhands: [edm2.com image 180x216]

I think I had an  IBM PS/2 model 60 that ran OS/2.
I have no love for Micro Channel Architecture.
/Speaking of, why isn't MCA in that list?


I actually loved Warp. The Web browser kicked ass.
 
2018-07-12 03:17:40 AM  
Jesus... got about a quarter of the way through that list before I threw the towel in... An ungodly amount of their "failed" products were basically early tech that eventually became commonplace. Glass hasn't gone anywhere quite yet, but it proved wearable tech of its ilk is feasible and could lead to amazing things down the line. Same with the Newton, it was basically the first tablet. And Vista failed predominantly due to PC resellers like Dell shoving the damn thing onto systems that could barely run it. In my years of using it the only 'problem' I had with Vista was that, upon a fresh format/reinstall, I had to manually tell it to register certain video codecs.

And you can eat my ass, I loved the Arch Deluxe as a teen.

/honestly I'd throw your USA Today site on that list
//try to slowly scroll down on my iPad and I'm shunted 3 pages down suddenly
 
2018-07-12 03:22:09 AM  
Once upon a time, a company called Intel pushed boldly their 8085 (faster 8080) into the frontiers of computing with a new design totally incompatible with their previous microprocessors, but that was magic - their Advanced Performance Architecture, or iAPX 432.  They spent a huge amount of money and time making it work.

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away.

/seeing the edifice collapsing, a couple engineers got together and sketched out the x86 they still use over coffee one day,
 
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