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(E! Online)   Inside the dark world of celebrity chefs: a shadowy landscape of bitter chef-on-chef feuds, toxic kitchens, and well-done steak slathered in ketchup   ( eonline.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Gordon Ramsay, Marco Pierre White, Daily Mail, Anthony Bourdain, chef, Restaurant Gordon Ramsay, punkishly coiffed chef, British chef Keith  
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2063 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jul 2018 at 10:33 PM (6 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
6 days ago  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
6 days ago  
Mountains of cocaine?
 
6 days ago  
I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV was rolling out. Not the competition shows, not the ego driven sh*t piles to drive advertising, and let folks get some items in the frozen food aisle, but a show that actually followed a real restaurant. Showed what the profession was really like. Rolling in at 7am to get dough made, and ribs and turkey in the ovens, watching the dishwasher eventually roll in, and hear their tale of eventual woe. Hours later, the waitstaff rolling in, and getting early chef's call done, specials explained, the line ready and fired up, the next shift day crew coming on, the eventual drama with receiving, or the little dramas that cooks and waitstaff always brew up, the real pace of a good push, watching the Exec or Sous hop on the line to haul the line's ass out of a fire. The usual stuff of kitchens. There is ENOUGH real drama in any kitchen, between people just being people, cooks just being cooks, that the scripting portion to make it "bigger" or "play well" wouldn't have to be there. Show the actual difficulties: deliveries that are late, show up with the wrong items, spoilage and trying to scramble to replace, breakdowns with equipment, the jury-rigging that happens until someone can get an electrician in, how folks run to the guy who just cut himself, get him trussed up, and take over his station, and get it cleaned up before a manager even knows WTF just happened. How someone can have an emergency, and guys who were just bickering back and forth like an old married couple will suddenly form up to get have that guy's back without a second thought. The very real crush that happens when thing roll into a real push. How all these goofballs and snarky jackasses, and even very real mean bastiches suddenly drop all the bullsh*t to get it done.

That was my hope. When Miami Ink started up, I had more vain hopes that folks could see a show that took a positive turn on showing artists at work, and the relationships between them. And instead, we got MOAR Gordon Ramsey yelling at people.

I had hopes that reality TV could show what my profession is really like, and give props to the unsung heroes of any kitchen, like a dishwasher who is kick-ass. A garde manger who is clutch. See how those busboys can make or break a dining room. How you NEVER piss off your bartender. How a dining room captain and the  kitchen lead can become work married and closer than some actual marriages.

And then the Food Network dashed those hopes, as did every other reality TV platform, and now I just sit in my jar of bitter...
 
6 days ago  

swamp_of_dumb: [img.fark.net image 425x340]


Well done hot dog slathered in ketchup.

/wow
 
6 days ago  
Oh that bitter chef-on-chef action.  So hot.  Has to be to get a good sear.
 
6 days ago  

hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV And instead ...


You could say that about any subject.  You mentioned the art that goes into some tatoo stuff. I have no idea about art but I can tell you that I'll never watch some stupid show about making swords that's on the History Channel right now because that's not about art at all.  I work with artists that work with metal and it is reality, the show is just made up BS like every other one (reality show) I'm sure.

/tell me if I'm wrong.
 
6 days ago  

ski9600: hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV And instead ...

You could say that about any subject.  You mentioned the art that goes into some tatoo stuff. I have no idea about art but I can tell you that I'll never watch some stupid show about making swords that's on the History Channel right now because that's not about art at all.  I work with artists that work with metal and it is reality, the show is just made up BS like every other one (reality show) I'm sure.

/tell me if I'm wrong.


My Dad is a tattoo artist. Miami Ink had a LOT of bullsh*t. But, what Miami Ink did do was show some of the process that goes into creating original work. And they did follow some folks who did some very nice work. While some of the apprentice stuff was just for the cameras--my father apprenticed to Jack Wagner, and was one of his last apprentices, and he and one of Jack's other later apprentices have a shop together in Texas--it did show some of the work and mindset needed to do the job. To love it even.

And that was part of my hope. To show folks a bit of the days. The good stuff, the bad stuff, the annoying stuff--which, in fairness, would help chefs and cooks across the globe for the public to see the real reaction for some of their bullsh*t.

Why YES, I have had someone ask for a marinara, only can you do that without the tomatoes? Which, technically you CAN do, but for damn near not on the fly, and only with some fair preparation with beets or some other substitute, but NOT ON THE FLY ON A FRIDAY NIGHT WITH A 25 MINUTE WAIT YOU BASTICHES!

What we have are shows that only reinforce the myths of tempermental chefs, and NEVER the reasons that they might get that way. 600 covers a night, sometimes understaffed, all on a very slender time table, the public would benefit from seeing exactly HOW a real restaurant operates. Not the idealized version in films. Not the overly chaotic version of Gordon Ramsey's shows. Just a line, doing line stuff, with cooks doing their usual thing, which is OFTEN hilarious, and the sheer amount of ball busting that goes on in MOST kitchens is would be well worth the camera time alone, but also seeing folks come together during a crunch. How kitchens often turn into family. You don't go through stress and rely on one another that closely, day in and day out, without learning to respect and appreciate one another--and occasionally get Sofa King annoyed by one another that you can come close to just stabbing a motherf*cker in the hand if he tries to "borrow" from your mise en place so that he doesn't have to replace his own.
 
6 days ago  
That was a very interesting read.  Thankyou, subby.
Sometimes I miss that work.  The noise and the heat and chef throwing his toys out the pram. I learnt a lot about food, and people, working in kitchens.
I learnt that customers can be real dicks and the waitress banging the head chef invariably a lazy cow. To this day I still don't understand "edible" flowers or people who order well done steak then complain that it's chewy.

Bit I don't miss getting home at stupid o'clock clock drunk and exhausted and being horrible to my partner. I don't miss having to boil wash my whites at 2am knowing I'd be putting them back on in a few hours.

I don't miss the competition  to have the best knives.  Chefs coming in with their (admittedly gorgeous) new Global or Sabbatier and mocking my roll of mismatched and mostly unbranded, but very sharp knives. And I don't miss almost killing a waitress who grabbey one of my knives to try and open a farking wine bottle.


However:
"He died on a Sunday, hours after overseeing Saturday night dinner service."
I thought you're meant to try that before service, chef!
 
6 days ago  

hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV was rolling out. Not the competition shows, not the ego driven sh*t piles to drive advertising, and let folks get some items in the frozen food aisle, but a show that actually followed a real restaurant. Showed what the profession was really like. Rolling in at 7am to get dough made, and ribs and turkey in the ovens, watching the dishwasher eventually roll in, and hear their tale of eventual woe. Hours later, the waitstaff rolling in, and getting early chef's call done, specials explained, the line ready and fired up, the next shift day crew coming on, the eventual drama with receiving, or the little dramas that cooks and waitstaff always brew up, the real pace of a good push, watching the Exec or Sous hop on the line to haul the line's ass out of a fire. The usual stuff of kitchens. There is ENOUGH real drama in any kitchen, between people just being people, cooks just being cooks, that the scripting portion to make it "bigger" or "play well" wouldn't have to be there. Show the actual difficulties: deliveries that are late, show up with the wrong items, spoilage and trying to scramble to replace, breakdowns with equipment, the jury-rigging that happens until someone can get an electrician in, how folks run to the guy who just cut himself, get him trussed up, and take over his station, and get it cleaned up before a manager even knows WTF just happened. How someone can have an emergency, and guys who were just bickering back and forth like an old married couple will suddenly form up to get have that guy's back without a second thought. The very real crush that happens when thing roll into a real push. How all these goofballs and snarky jackasses, and even very real mean bastiches suddenly drop all the bullsh*t to get it done.

That was my hope. When Miami Ink started up, I had more vain hopes that folks could see a show that took a positive turn on showing artists at work, and the relationships between them. And instead, we got MOAR Gordon Ramsey yelling at people.

I had hopes that reality TV could show what my profession is really like, and give props to the unsung heroes of any kitchen, like a dishwasher who is kick-ass. A garde manger who is clutch. See how those busboys can make or break a dining room. How you NEVER piss off your bartender. How a dining room captain and the  kitchen lead can become work married and closer than some actual marriages.

And then the Food Network dashed those hopes, as did every other reality TV platform, and now I just sit in my jar of bitter...


I'd watch that.  Scripted drama in "reality" tv blows.
 
6 days ago  
Everything I know about the restaurant business came from the movie 'Waiting...'

/batwing
 
6 days ago  

hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV was rolling out. Not the competition shows, not the ego driven sh*t piles to drive advertising, and let folks get some items in the frozen food aisle, but a show that actually followed a real restaurant. Showed what the profession was really like. Rolling in at 7am to get dough made, and ribs and turkey in the ovens, watching the dishwasher eventually roll in, and hear their tale of eventual woe. Hours later, the waitstaff rolling in, and getting early chef's call done, specials explained, the line ready and fired up, the next shift day crew coming on, the eventual drama with receiving, or the little dramas that cooks and waitstaff always brew up, the real pace of a good push, watching the Exec or Sous hop on the line to haul the line's ass out of a fire. The usual stuff of kitchens.


Sounds kind of like A Chef's Life on PBS Create.
 
6 days ago  

hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV was rolling out. Not the competition shows, not the ego driven sh*t piles to drive advertising, and let folks get some items in the frozen food aisle, but a show that actually followed a real restaurant. Showed what the profession was really like. Rolling in at 7am to get dough made, and ribs and turkey in the ovens, watching the dishwasher eventually roll in, and hear their tale of eventual woe. Hours later, the waitstaff rolling in, and getting early chef's call done, specials explained, the line ready and fired up, the next shift day crew coming on, the eventual drama with receiving, or the little dramas that cooks and waitstaff always brew up, the real pace of a good push, watching the Exec or Sous hop on the line to haul the line's ass out of a fire. The usual stuff of kitchens. There is ENOUGH real drama in any kitchen, between people just being people, cooks just being cooks, that the scripting portion to make it "bigger" or "play well" wouldn't have to be there. Show the actual difficulties: deliveries that are late, show up with the wrong items, spoilage and trying to scramble to replace, breakdowns with equipment, the jury-rigging that happens until someone can get an electrician in, how folks run to the guy who just cut himself, get him trussed up, and take over his station, and get it cleaned up before a manager even knows WTF just happened. How someone can have an emergency, and guys who were just bickering back and forth like an old married couple will suddenly form up to get have that guy's back without a second thought. The very real crush that happens when thing roll into a real push. How all these goofballs and snarky jackasses, and even very real mean bastiches suddenly drop all the bullsh*t to get it done.

That was my hope. When Miami Ink started up, I had more vain hopes that folks could see a show that took a positive turn on showing artists at work, and the relationships between them. And instead ...


I cooked for several years as a breakfast cook in a small, blue collar town diner.  I worked alone, except for Sundays (cuz on Sunday the church people come out to play), and loved every minute of it. One morning it snowed, so the oilfields shut down and everyone decided to have breakfast.  Did over 250 tickets from 4:30 am to 1:00 pm by myself.  I only mention this because you are the only person I've ever had the chance to impart this to, who would know how truly hardcore that was.
 
5 days ago  
TLDR

Yes, cooking is work.
You're not gonna be a celebrity chef.
You're not gonna work CSI, either.
Another hint, you don't get to bang Cersei.

Everything is based on an ugly industry.
Also tired of "chefs" being called "artists". They are ALL just followers. It's not like you can reinvent the fugging steak. Sure, you can add pickled duck anus as a garnish, but it's STILL a fugging steak.

And don't pull your "sustainable" or "hand picked" crap, either. A salad is GREENS with vegetables, not a flower with a slice of radish and a sliver of onion drizzled with organic olive oil.


/cook too much
//eat out too much
 
5 days ago  

almejita: hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV was rolling out. Not the competition shows, not the ego driven sh*t piles to drive advertising, and let folks get some items in the frozen food aisle, but a show that actually followed a real restaurant. Showed what the profession was really like. Rolling in at 7am to get dough made, and ribs and turkey in the ovens, watching the dishwasher eventually roll in, and hear their tale of eventual woe. Hours later, the waitstaff rolling in, and getting early chef's call done, specials explained, the line ready and fired up, the next shift day crew coming on, the eventual drama with receiving, or the little dramas that cooks and waitstaff always brew up, the real pace of a good push, watching the Exec or Sous hop on the line to haul the line's ass out of a fire. The usual stuff of kitchens. There is ENOUGH real drama in any kitchen, between people just being people, cooks just being cooks, that the scripting portion to make it "bigger" or "play well" wouldn't have to be there. Show the actual difficulties: deliveries that are late, show up with the wrong items, spoilage and trying to scramble to replace, breakdowns with equipment, the jury-rigging that happens until someone can get an electrician in, how folks run to the guy who just cut himself, get him trussed up, and take over his station, and get it cleaned up before a manager even knows WTF just happened. How someone can have an emergency, and guys who were just bickering back and forth like an old married couple will suddenly form up to get have that guy's back without a second thought. The very real crush that happens when thing roll into a real push. How all these goofballs and snarky jackasses, and even very real mean bastiches suddenly drop all the bullsh*t to get it done.

That was my hope. When Miami Ink started up, I had more vain hopes that folks could see a show that took a positive turn on showing artists at work, and the relationships between them. And instead ...

I cooked for several years as a breakfast cook in a small, blue collar town diner.  I worked alone, except for Sundays (cuz on Sunday the church people come out to play), and loved every minute of it. One morning it snowed, so the oilfields shut down and everyone decided to have breakfast.  Did over 250 tickets from 4:30 am to 1:00 pm by myself.  I only mention this because you are the only person I've ever had the chance to impart this to, who would know how truly hardcore that was.


That is a LOT of eggs and sausage, man. Like ALL the steak and eggs...
 
5 days ago  

hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show


How about a kitchen/detective show a la "Pie in the Sky"? Quiet, understated quality police procedural whose protagonist just happens to "retire" from police work into a kitchen.

"Hubie's hoodlums" sound good?
 
5 days ago  
I think Tyler Florence and Bobby Flay are the same person. DNRTFA
 
5 days ago  

almejita: I cooked for several years as a breakfast cook in a small, blue collar town diner.  I worked alone, except for Sundays (cuz on Sunday the church people come out to play), and loved every minute of it. One morning it snowed, so the oilfields shut down and everyone decided to have breakfast.  Did over 250 tickets from 4:30 am to 1:00 pm by myself.  I only mention this because you are the only person I've ever had the chance to impart this to, who would know how truly hardcore that was.


That is incredibly epic. But how on earth did you manage that alone?
Or by "alone" do you mean you were the only "Skilled " worker  but had a few enthusiastic k.ps or pot washes eagerly running back and forth to bring you the stuff you need and hopefully help ??
 
5 days ago  

AquaTatanka: Everything I know about the restaurant business came from the movie 'Waiting...'

/batwing


Close enough. Used to know a kid that would hang his balls out of the zipper flap and rest them in one of those 2ft kettle spoons. Than he'd call your name across the kitchen so you looked.

/this was well before the movie
//his mom owned the place
///is for that little flat section on your finger from a meat slicer, years ago
 
5 days ago  

swamp_of_dumb: [img.fark.net image 425x340]


I wouldn't mind being in her dark moist world.
 
5 days ago  

hubiestubert: And then the Food Network dashed those hopes, as did every other reality TV platform, and now I just sit in my jar of bitter...


Just because something is interesting for you to do doesn't necessarily mean it's interesting for others to watch.
 
Ant
5 days ago  
After reading that slide show and seeing how many were "someone vs Anthony Bourdain," I'm beginning to think he didn't kill himself.
 
5 days ago  

fastfxr: pickled duck anus


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
5 days ago  

KingBiefWhistle: fastfxr: pickled duck anus

[img.fark.net image 850x442]


I'm trying to imagine.  . wouldn't that be like very chewy calamari?
 
5 days ago  

KingBiefWhistle: fastfxr: pickled duck anus

[img.fark.net image 850x442]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
5 days ago  

hubiestubert: I had hopes for a kitchen show when reality TV was rolling out. Not the competition shows, not the ego driven sh*t piles to drive advertising, and let folks get some items in the frozen food aisle, but a show that actually followed a real restaurant. Showed what the profession was really like. Rolling in at 7am to get dough made, and ribs and turkey in the ovens, watching the dishwasher eventually roll in, and hear their tale of eventual woe. Hours later, the waitstaff rolling in, and getting early chef's call done, specials explained, the line ready and fired up, the next shift day crew coming on, the eventual drama with receiving, or the little dramas that cooks and waitstaff always brew up, the real pace of a good push, watching the Exec or Sous hop on the line to haul the line's ass out of a fire. The usual stuff of kitchens. There is ENOUGH real drama in any kitchen, between people just being people, cooks just being cooks, that the scripting portion to make it "bigger" or "play well" wouldn't have to be there. Show the actual difficulties: deliveries that are late, show up with the wrong items, spoilage and trying to scramble to replace, breakdowns with equipment, the jury-rigging that happens until someone can get an electrician in, how folks run to the guy who just cut himself, get him trussed up, and take over his station, and get it cleaned up before a manager even knows WTF just happened. How someone can have an emergency, and guys who were just bickering back and forth like an old married couple will suddenly form up to get have that guy's back without a second thought. The very real crush that happens when thing roll into a real push. How all these goofballs and snarky jackasses, and even very real mean bastiches suddenly drop all the bullsh*t to get it done.

That was my hope. When Miami Ink started up, I had more vain hopes that folks could see a show that took a positive turn on showing artists at work, and the relationships between them. And instead ...


I agree 110%.  I had some dreams of getting on The Next Food Network Star a few years ago, until I realized that they aren't trying to promote cooking or food, they're looking to fill a time slot for a couple of months during the summer.  They aren't interested in food, they're interested in selling processed food...fark that...
 
5 days ago  
I just wanted to pop into this thread to say I genuinely like Top Chef. Yes it is a reality show and "unscripted." And I'm sure it isn't all that reflective of what actually working in a kitchen is like, but dammit, it's fun.

I also adore The Great British Baking Show.
 
5 days ago  

Jeteupthemiddle: I just wanted to pop into this thread to say I genuinely like Top Chef. Yes it is a reality show and "unscripted." And I'm sure it isn't all that reflective of what actually working in a kitchen is like, but dammit, it's fun.

I also adore The Great British Baking Show.


You may appreciate this behind the scenes article Behind the Scenes Top Chef Season 15
 
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