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(Inverse)   How do you do, fellow kids? Here's a list of all the slang words the DEA has for marijuana including ones no one ever uses like "shoes" and "café"   ( inverse.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, marijuana slang terms, Slang, Cannabis, Recreational drug use, common marijuana slang, Cannabinoid, newly-recognized marijuana slang, Drug Enforcement Administration  
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5644 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2018 at 4:48 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-07-11 04:13:39 PM  
Barney? I have a couple cords of wood.
I'm only going to need to burn a half a cord of wood this winter, so I'm going to sell the rest.
yes. I can deliver.
So I can shoot you a price on a half a cord or a quarter a cord.
Check with your brother and see if he needs any, too.
 
2018-07-11 04:18:01 PM  

vudukungfu: Barney? I have a couple cords of wood.
I'm only going to need to burn a half a cord of wood this winter, so I'm going to sell the rest.
yes. I can deliver.
So I can shoot you a price on a half a cord or a quarter a cord.
Check with your brother and see if he needs any, too.


Reminds me of the old Carlin routine about the Narcotics Officer who doesn't know that "shiat" means "SHIIIIIIIIIAT."

/"Do you want papers with that, man?"
//"Yeah, better give me a roll or two."
 
2018-07-11 04:37:13 PM  
Kids know it's all about Jingle Jangle these days.

pa1.narvii.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 04:45:38 PM  
So I went up to this guy who I was told was a dealer by a reliable source.  I'd never done this before, and I'm a pasty fat white dude, so I knew I had to try and play this cool and urban, you know?  Risky, I know, but otherwise he might not sell me anything.

"Hey man," I opened with as I walked casually up to him.  "I'm told you're the man to see about some red hair."
The dealer gave me a nonplussed look.  "Some what?"
"Uh ... you know," I said, trying to hide my unease.  "Some red hair.  You know, like ... alfalfa?"
"Red alfalfa hair?" the dealer said, if anything looking even more confused.  "Man, what the fark are you talking about?"
I tried to regroup my thoughts.  This wasn't going quite as smoothly as I had anticipated.  "Like, you know ... got any shoes? Eh?  You know, shoes?"
"What the fark you want with my shoes?  Man, get the fark away from me."
And with that, he walked off.  Damn.  I thought this would be easy.  I had learned the terminology.  There was a list and everything.
I went back to my reliable source and explained what happened.  He recommended another guy and told me where to find him.  It wasn't the most ideal place, being right beside the dumpster of a Chinese restaurant who evidently only had pickups every other week, but I wanted to get this done.
"Hey, what's up, man?" I said cordially as I approached, the smell of week-old Szechuan chicken punching me right in the face.
The new dealer looked me over.  "Whatchoo want?"
I wasted no time.  Choking back my gag reflex, I jumped right into it.  "I'm looking for my brother."
Worryingly, this new dealer took on the same perplexed look as the first one.  "Why you think I'd know your brother?"
"I was told you, y'know ... you have that sort of thing."
"I don't have a brother," he said.  "I have a sister, but you touch her, I'll rip your head off through your asshole."
This wasn't working.  Not at all.  "Pasture, man, you got any pasture?"
"Dafark?  What the hell's that?"
"I wanna ... you know ... mow the lawn, right?"  I was getting a bit exasperated by now.  "See what I'm saying?  Almohada!  Lucas!  Arizona!  Camara!  Plant!"
Light suddenly dawned in his eyes.  "Ohhh!  I getcha, I getcha!"
Yes! I thought.  I've finally made contact! "So, uh, you got some?"
"Hell yes, my man.  You got the cash?"
I surreptitiously handed him an envelope.  After briefly peeking inside and seeing those dolla dolla bills, he reached into his pocket and, after furtive glances from shoulder to shoulder, handed me a plain brown paper bag.  I just grabbed it, thanked him, stuffed it in my pocket, and left.
It was only once I had gotten back to the privacy of my car and the dark alley it was parked in that I dared get the bag out of my pocket and open it to inspect the contents. Sure enough, there it was.  A big plastic baggy full of Lucky Charms -- just the marshmallows.
I was going to get so sugar high tonight.
 
2018-07-11 04:46:53 PM  
I'd like a bit of pram, please. Woaaaaaaah! Eh?
 
2018-07-11 04:51:39 PM  
Some of those are strains such as Blue Dream
 
2018-07-11 04:52:08 PM  
Apparently I talk about marijuana all the time.
 
2018-07-11 04:52:42 PM  
I would like one marijuana please...to go...
 
2018-07-11 04:53:04 PM  
They must get triggered every time they go grocery shopping
 
2018-07-11 04:54:10 PM  
Jokes on you subby, green shoe café is all I smoke.
 
2018-07-11 04:55:56 PM  
Bwahahahahaha!!!!! Um, No.
 
2018-07-11 04:57:53 PM  
Is dpoisn.com on the list?

It had better be!!
 
2018-07-11 04:58:07 PM  
Well, street name's Glint but it's also known as Glow, Glimmer or Satan's Harelip.
 
2018-07-11 04:58:38 PM  

Psychopusher: So I went up to this guy who I was told was a dealer by a reliable source.  I'd never done this before, and I'm a pasty fat white dude, so I knew I had to try and play this cool and urban, you know?  Risky, I know, but otherwise he might not sell me anything.

"Hey man," I opened with as I walked casually up to him.  "I'm told you're the man to see about some red hair."
The dealer gave me a nonplussed look.  "Some what?"
"Uh ... you know," I said, trying to hide my unease.  "Some red hair.  You know, like ... alfalfa?"
"Red alfalfa hair?" the dealer said, if anything looking even more confused.  "Man, what the fark are you talking about?"
I tried to regroup my thoughts.  This wasn't going quite as smoothly as I had anticipated.  "Like, you know ... got any shoes? Eh?  You know, shoes?"
"What the fark you want with my shoes?  Man, get the fark away from me."
And with that, he walked off.  Damn.  I thought this would be easy.  I had learned the terminology.  There was a list and everything.
I went back to my reliable source and explained what happened.  He recommended another guy and told me where to find him.  It wasn't the most ideal place, being right beside the dumpster of a Chinese restaurant who evidently only had pickups every other week, but I wanted to get this done.
"Hey, what's up, man?" I said cordially as I approached, the smell of week-old Szechuan chicken punching me right in the face.
The new dealer looked me over.  "Whatchoo want?"
I wasted no time.  Choking back my gag reflex, I jumped right into it.  "I'm looking for my brother."
Worryingly, this new dealer took on the same perplexed look as the first one.  "Why you think I'd know your brother?"
"I was told you, y'know ... you have that sort of thing."
"I don't have a brother," he said.  "I have a sister, but you touch her, I'll rip your head off through your asshole."
This wasn't working.  Not at all.  "Pasture, man, you got any pasture?"
"Dafark?  What the hell's that?"
"I wanna ... you know ... mow the lawn, right?"  I was getting a bit exasperated by now.  "See what I'm saying?  Almohada!  Lucas!  Arizona!  Camara!  Plant!"
Light suddenly dawned in his eyes.  "Ohhh!  I getcha, I getcha!"
Yes! I thought.  I've finally made contact! "So, uh, you got some?"
"Hell yes, my man.  You got the cash?"
I surreptitiously handed him an envelope.  After briefly peeking inside and seeing those dolla dolla bills, he reached into his pocket and, after furtive glances from shoulder to shoulder, handed me a plain brown paper bag.  I just grabbed it, thanked him, stuffed it in my pocket, and left.
It was only once I had gotten back to the privacy of my car and the dark alley it was parked in that I dared get the bag out of my pocket and open it to inspect the contents. Sure enough, there it was.  A big plastic baggy full of Lucky Charms -- just the marshmallows.
I was going to get so sugar high tonight.


D.E.A. for effort!!
 
2018-07-11 04:58:40 PM  
Hey, let's put out a weird bullsh*t list so people will post their real slang terms for it.


Maybe not, but it strikes me that way.
 
2018-07-11 04:59:43 PM  
Class ... class ... class ...
Sargent Stadanko
Youtube tHIwooltfzg
 
2018-07-11 05:00:19 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: vudukungfu: Barney? I have a couple cords of wood.
I'm only going to need to burn a half a cord of wood this winter, so I'm going to sell the rest.
yes. I can deliver.
So I can shoot you a price on a half a cord or a quarter a cord.
Check with your brother and see if he needs any, too.

Reminds me of the old Carlin routine about the Narcotics Officer who doesn't know that "shiat" means "SHIIIIIIIIIAT."

/"Do you want papers with that, man?"
//"Yeah, better give me a roll or two."


still no Toledo windowbox listed. loved that bit, and your breath did not smell
 
2018-07-11 05:01:01 PM  
My brother Mike with red hair--the one who doesn't wear shoes and who lives in AZ--has gone to pasture and has decided not to mow his lawn and let the grass grow. He used to have zip in his step, a real top shelf guy, but ever since that fattie loud-mouth Lucas Escoba with the bionic arm and bazooka stole his gas rights, he's never been the same. I wish he'd run his Greenhouse Cafe, but that's just blue dreams in the Mexicali Haze.
 
2018-07-11 05:01:24 PM  
covfefe?
 
2018-07-11 05:02:52 PM  

bloobeary: I'd like a bit of pram, please.


Sure, here you go:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 05:03:31 PM  
Kief isn't technically weed. It's the THC crystals that fall off during handling/grinding. It's basically concentrated THC that can rip you like crazy and also get your charges bumped up to a felony if you have a grinder with a catcher full of it (it's considered marijuana concentrate or manufactured).
 
2018-07-11 05:04:24 PM  
Ctrl F "pakalolo"

No instances found

Whatevah, brah.
 
2018-07-11 05:04:31 PM  
ali g dangerous Drugs
Youtube DduAbLpZDHg
 
2018-07-11 05:05:16 PM  
I've heard it referred to as "Becky" in my social circle.
 
2018-07-11 05:06:06 PM  
Words people use on the phone when buying a bag.

I recall asking if Fatty Arbuckle was available.
 
2018-07-11 05:06:26 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 05:07:52 PM  
Gas ? I have been around stoners my entire life and have never heard any of these terms
 
2018-07-11 05:08:09 PM  
I used to have a dealer in my 20's that referred to it as 'slices' because his cover job was at a pizza place.
 
2018-07-11 05:08:18 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 05:08:23 PM  
"Grass", "pot", and "weed" stand around, whistling casually.
/Yes, I'm old
 
2018-07-11 05:10:33 PM  

DaAlien: "Grass", "pot", and "weed" stand around, whistling casually.
/Yes, I'm old


Are you holding, man?  I need a lid.
 
2018-07-11 05:10:51 PM  

DaAlien: "Grass", "pot", and "weed" stand around, whistling casually.
/Yes, I'm old


The most common vernacular now days is "trees" in my experience.
 
2018-07-11 05:11:03 PM  

kindms: Gas ? I have been around stoners my entire life and have never heard any of these terms


Jumpin Jack Flash.
 
2018-07-11 05:11:08 PM  

Psychopusher: So I went up to this guy who I was told was a dealer by a reliable source.  I'd never done this before, and I'm a pasty fat white dude, so I knew I had to try and play this cool and urban, you know?  Risky, I know, but otherwise he might not sell me anything.

"Hey man," I opened with as I walked casually up to him.  "I'm told you're the man to see about some red hair."
The dealer gave me a nonplussed look.  "Some what?"
"Uh ... you know," I said, trying to hide my unease.  "Some red hair.  You know, like ... alfalfa?"
"Red alfalfa hair?" the dealer said, if anything looking even more confused.  "Man, what the fark are you talking about?"
I tried to regroup my thoughts.  This wasn't going quite as smoothly as I had anticipated.  "Like, you know ... got any shoes? Eh?  You know, shoes?"
"What the fark you want with my shoes?  Man, get the fark away from me."
And with that, he walked off.  Damn.  I thought this would be easy.  I had learned the terminology.  There was a list and everything.
I went back to my reliable source and explained what happened.  He recommended another guy and told me where to find him.  It wasn't the most ideal place, being right beside the dumpster of a Chinese restaurant who evidently only had pickups every other week, but I wanted to get this done.
"Hey, what's up, man?" I said cordially as I approached, the smell of week-old Szechuan chicken punching me right in the face.
The new dealer looked me over.  "Whatchoo want?"
I wasted no time.  Choking back my gag reflex, I jumped right into it.  "I'm looking for my brother."
Worryingly, this new dealer took on the same perplexed look as the first one.  "Why you think I'd know your brother?"
"I was told you, y'know ... you have that sort of thing."
"I don't have a brother," he said.  "I have a sister, but you touch her, I'll rip your head off through your asshole."
This wasn't working.  Not at all.  "Pasture, man, you got any pasture?"
"Dafark?  What the hell's that?"
"I wanna ... you know ... m ...


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 05:12:03 PM  
Dave's not here!
 
2018-07-11 05:12:27 PM  
How is broccoli (nsfw) not on the list?
 
2018-07-11 05:14:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 05:14:50 PM  

durbnpoisn: Is [dpoisn.com image 54x11] on the list?

It had better be!!


No. And that's how you can tell it's an authentic DEA list.
 
2018-07-11 05:14:59 PM  
That's it.  They cracked the code.  Drug wars over now.
 
2018-07-11 05:15:47 PM  
"Where Did the DEA Come Up With These Bizarre Marijuana Slang Terms?"

It's a list of seemingly specific words that include words that may show up in near any conversation so they can run 'parallel investigations' on anyone anytime.
 
2018-07-11 05:15:49 PM  
My favorite synonyms:

Nori
Catnip
Snuff
Guava
Schizophonic
Mitochondria
Vanz Kant Danz
 
2018-07-11 05:16:19 PM  
Among other things, they're listing the names of commercial strains.

That's like saying Budweiser is another term for "beer."
 
2018-07-11 05:16:50 PM  
Speaking of slang terms for weed......

D.A.R.E. & Sex Ed
Youtube K6sLcZXEKMk
 
2018-07-11 05:17:46 PM  
A few years ago a recording of some international or inter-body group of law enforcement officials discussing internet culture, hacking and things like Anonymous was leaked. It was eye-waveringly unintentionally funny.

Okay, they all meant well and clearly were trying to do their jobs but it was like listening to your grand parents try to describe Star Trek.
 
2018-07-11 05:18:19 PM  

trappedspirit: DaAlien: "Grass", "pot", and "weed" stand around, whistling casually.
/Yes, I'm old

Are you holding, man?  I need a lid.


OBFT: "Only half a key, I had to split it with the sound effects man." "Thanks, Rocky!"
 
2018-07-11 05:18:41 PM  

skyotter: Among other things, they're listing the names of commercial strains.

That's like saying Budweiser is another term for "beer."


People in certain parts of The South refer to soda as "Coke".

"I'll have a Coke."

"What kind?"

"Root beer."

It's wrong, stupid, and needs to go away.
 
2018-07-11 05:19:45 PM  

vudukungfu: Barney? I have a couple cords of wood.
I'm only going to need to burn a half a cord of wood this winter, so I'm going to sell the rest.
yes. I can deliver.
So I can shoot you a price on a half a cord or a quarter a cord.
Check with your brother and see if he needs any, too.


Found the weed dealer.
 
2018-07-11 05:20:37 PM  
The funny thing is all the folks calling people here is a tip. If you only call / text the person when you need weed, they know why you are calling them so just ask if you can stop by.

no need to use any code words at all..
 
2018-07-11 05:20:46 PM  
Put on your tea shades, roll up the boo, and we'll smoke some muggles.
 
2018-07-11 05:22:46 PM  

trappedspirit: DaAlien: "Grass", "pot", and "weed" stand around, whistling casually.
/Yes, I'm old

Are you holding, man?  I need a lid.


2 finger? 4 finger? Dime/nickel bag?

/frisbees had multiple purpose in the day
//old
 
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