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(Marketwatch)   This is why you spell out everything in writing, especially when dealing with family and real estate   ( marketwatch.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Property, husband, Money, Renting, Family, complicated financial arrangement, husband purchase, Moneyist private Facebook  
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666 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 11 Jul 2018 at 8:35 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-07-11 04:05:14 PM  
Got down to Home Depot.
Get the biggest boxes you can get.
Move in.
 
2018-07-11 04:49:16 PM  
Or you just cut the bastards out completely and never speak to them again.
 
2018-07-11 04:53:17 PM  
Sometimes even that's not enough.

My mom has three sisters.  One of them left the family in 1970 of her own volition.  No one spoke to her.

Grandma passed on, and her will stated in no uncertain terms, "I want my estate divided evenly between my three daughters, Barbara, Cathy, and Jackie."

But Aunt #4 managed to find a judge who would allow her to challenge that.
 
2018-07-11 05:15:55 PM  

Diogenes: Sometimes even that's not enough.

My mom has three sisters.  One of them left the family in 1970 of her own volition.  No one spoke to her.

Grandma passed on, and her will stated in no uncertain terms, "I want my estate divided evenly between my three daughters, Barbara, Cathy, and Jackie."

But Aunt #4 managed to find a judge who would allow her to challenge that.


This is my big worry. My parents have an extremely detailed will about who gets what, and I'm the executor.  I've actually read through it all and had them clarify and re-write (and sign) a couple of things because, you know, finding holes in processes is what I do.

One of the things listed is certain amounts for my long-estranged sister and her kids, as well as explicit limits on how long I'm to try to spend finding them and how much effort I'm supposed to put into it.  But the whole reason she's estranged is that she's a sociopath, and I am totally expecting her to challenge the will somehow.  Unfortunately, she's also generally brilliant (or was, last time I spoke with her), so the odds are she'll find a way to win.
 
2018-07-11 05:27:58 PM  

obenchainr: Diogenes: Sometimes even that's not enough.

My mom has three sisters.  One of them left the family in 1970 of her own volition.  No one spoke to her.

Grandma passed on, and her will stated in no uncertain terms, "I want my estate divided evenly between my three daughters, Barbara, Cathy, and Jackie."

But Aunt #4 managed to find a judge who would allow her to challenge that.

This is my big worry. My parents have an extremely detailed will about who gets what, and I'm the executor.  I've actually read through it all and had them clarify and re-write (and sign) a couple of things because, you know, finding holes in processes is what I do.

One of the things listed is certain amounts for my long-estranged sister and her kids, as well as explicit limits on how long I'm to try to spend finding them and how much effort I'm supposed to put into it.  But the whole reason she's estranged is that she's a sociopath, and I am totally expecting her to challenge the will somehow.  Unfortunately, she's also generally brilliant (or was, last time I spoke with her), so the odds are she'll find a way to win.


The best you can do is get a good attorney to review it.  We got screwed a little bit by that at the very beginning (longer story, as these things tend to be).  But in the end you can only prepare so much.  As a civil matter, you're exposed if someone really wants to push hard enough.

We won in the end and it was dismissed.  But it cost us a chunk of what was a tiny estate to begin with.  And it was certainly the last thing my grandmother would have wanted us to have to deal with.
 
2018-07-11 05:39:56 PM  

Diogenes: The best you can do is get a good attorney to review it. We got screwed a little bit by that at the very beginning (longer story, as these things tend to be). But in the end you can only prepare so much. As a civil matter, you're exposed if someone really wants to push hard enough.

We won in the end and it was dismissed. But it cost us a chunk of what was a tiny estate to begin with. And it was certainly the last thing my grandmother would have wanted us to have to deal with.


Well, it's my parents' will.  I think they had someone look it over after I suggested changes, but as any competent attorney will tell you, at some point is just comes down to how the judge or a jury is feeling on a given day.  All you can do is be honest and straight-forward and try your best to make everything bulletproof.

Glad you at least won, even if it was somewhat pyrrhic.
 
2018-07-11 09:29:04 PM  

Diogenes: Sometimes even that's not enough.

My mom has three sisters.  One of them left the family in 1970 of her own volition.  No one spoke to her.

Grandma passed on, and her will stated in no uncertain terms, "I want my estate divided evenly between my three daughters, Barbara, Cathy, and Jackie."

But Aunt #4 managed to find a judge who would allow her to challenge that.


You have to name all of the children in the will even if you want to distribute nothing to one of them. If one isn't listed and given a bequest it's easy enough to find a judge who will add them back in under the assumption that they were forgotten.  You have to explicitly say something like, "For my Daughter Jane, I leave here my collection of used Time magazines and only my collection of used Time magazines."
 
2018-07-11 10:08:18 PM  
Gran Torino - Final scene
Youtube SJLbR9TEMD8
 
2018-07-12 12:50:30 AM  
I will never get anything from any family member upon their death, and ain't got much shiat to give when I go, so it don't matter to me one bit what the hell happens to whatever used to be mine. I won't be there.
 
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